The Truth About Adoption

coz Adoption mythology hurtsTruthful Views of Adoption Practices in the USA today

Adoption is supposed to be about finding families for the children that need homes. That is the way adoption is sold to society in a carefully homed marketing message as controlled by the adoption industry and reported on by the mass media.

Finding Faults in Current Adoption Practices is NOT “Anti-Adoption”

The truth is that the adoption system is greatly flawed. It is a profit driven industry. Both adoptive parents and natural parents are exploited for what they bring to the table: money for fees and children for transfer. The children adopted are treated like a commodity with the transfer of parental rights to a child bought and sold.

To point out the truthful views of adoption and to say “adopting is wrong” is not a fault of the speaker. It does not represent bad character, or an unpleasant personal experience, or a need for medication or prayer. To consider a person “Anti-Adoption” can be seen as an insult, but please become educated on what a person is seeking from that view point before dismissing these views as something simplest such as wanting to see children kept in foster care, abused or in orphanages.  It is a flaw of the adoption system and only by shedding light on the negatives, can we make positive change for the benefits of ALL involved in adoption.

Coercion and Forced Adoption Practices Are Currently Happening in this Country

While many people might be open to acknowledging the foundation of forced adoption during the Baby Scoop Era, frequently such acknowledgement is followed with the declaration that “Adoption is different now“.

Unfortunately, this cannot be further form the truth. While the overall look and feel of adoption has changed from the maternity homes and openly punitive adoption practices accepted during the 50′s, 60′s and early 70′s in the USA,  unethical practices and stalled legal maneuverings still support the forced separation of mothers and fathers from their children.

In most case, the original parents of the child do not have the means to financially battle the adoption agencies in the court of law and they lose. In other cases, the pressure and insurmountable obstacles put in front of parents trying to either not give or revoke relinquishment consent are  just more than they have the means to overcome. They are in over their heads, battling a multi-armed  industry that wants to beat them down into submission and surrender. Agencies have been known to lie, provide inaccurate information, take advantage of parents in extremely vulnerable times, pit families against each other, stall for time to allow import legal dates to pass, hold children literally as hostages, and in general cheat able, willing, loving parents out of their children.

The forced and unethical adoption of Veronica Brown is only the tip of the iceberg. As there are so many stories that reach my ears these days and as I am so damn tired of being told, “that does not  happen anymore”, this page will serve as a clearing house for true stories of modern day adoption coercion.

Adoption cases regarding the biological father being denied his paternal rights and custody to his own child can be found on the Father’s Right pages as well.

Please also familiarize yourself with  the truth about the adoption industry today including the business model, their own market research, their history and how it is truly a 3 billion dollar profit driven industry.

Understand the Cultural Views on Adoption that continue to allow these unethical practices to flourish while we all look the other way and  tell ourselves that “Adoption is Beautiful’ and all about the “best interests” of the poor “unwanted” children.

And please understand that the Adoption laws in each state are NOT created to protect either the children, nor the parents, but instead have been changed via the force of the adoption lobby groups to make “adoption easier” for the agencies and attorneys whose clients are ultimately the adoptive parents who pay them thousands of dollars.

Adoption Agencies with Questionable Ethical Processes

This is by no means a full list of agencies at all. There are many many more, these just happen to be ones that I personally looked into and have written about here.  

Coercive and Unethical Adoption Practices

If you have experienced an unethical forced adoption surrender or were lied to, tricked, deceived, or had broken promises made in order to get your child for adoption, please let me know! If you are an adoptive parent who has witness such wrong doings please share your experiences here. It is only when we work together to cal attention to these truths and make the unethical agencies accountable can we really FIX ADOPTION!

Most Recent Posts Demonstrating Current Unethical Adoption Practices in the USA



Birthing, Labor, and Adoption Relinquishment

When You Throw the Birthing Plan Out the Window

Your adoption plan is what you think you want and how you hope it will go down, but you want it to be like right now doesn’t matter either because like labor, you really won’t be in control once you sign the relinquishment consent. That signature gives up ALL control.
I can tell you that the pain from labor fades. I cannot say the same about adoption. read more…

Adoption: No, NOT Much has Changed in 40 Years

cub the birth parent group

Lee Campbell might as well be the prophet of doom as she speaks about how the pro-adoption stance is growing and how the demand for adoption has begun to increase the stories of forced adoption, unethical practices, and unnecessary separation of families. She calls it.. right on the nose.. THIRTY YEARS AGO. read more…

Sally and Sherri Shepherd Surrogacy Shenanigans

The Ethical Considerations of Assisted Reproductive Technology

So Sherri Shepherd? It’s NOT going to be her genetic child. She has NO biological connection to this child because it was NOT her eggs.
She won’t give birth to this child as the gestational surrogate is carrying it for her. She cannot relinquish because she really has NO hold on this baby anyway. read more…

Top Ten Levels of Adoptoraptor

The dreaded adoptoraptor

Not ALL Adoptive Parents Are Adoptoraptors. Now is this an insulting term? Most definitely. It is actually supposed to be an insult. One really does not want to aspire to sink to the depths of a true “adoptoraptor”. If you happen to find that fit into the actual description of the term, then you should probably go sit in a corner and rethink your life. read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care; Digging an Even Deeper Hole

AGC a COlumbus Ohio Based Adoption Agency with a bad reputation

Adoption by Gentle Care is back talking on Facebook. How are they controlling the message and maybe not look like a really unethical and non caring adoption agency? It seems like the course in online reputation management that they took advised AGC to some highly “black hat” ( that’s “unethical” in SEO terms) techniques. I thought it might be fun to take some time out and look into what we can SEE Adoption by Gentle Care doing right now on the public forums. read more…

The Act of Redemption in the Adoption Process

• In doing what is best for her child, she fulfills her need to see herself as a good mother and accept the pain of relinquishment. In this way, she transforms agony of the entire story into a redemptive experience where she becomes a heroine in her own eyes and in the eyes of others.

Yes, if I am trying to be completely honest and self aware, then I have to admit that some aspect of my motivation to do this work, my obsession with all things adoption, is a form of redemption. I can see that I am making up for the mistake of relinquishment, but I am not 100% sure who I am redeeming myself to. read more…

New Jersey’s Golden Cradle Adoption Inc; More Unethical Adoption Agency Hyjinks 

case of a revocation of an adoption relinquishment consent in Pennsylvania, but Golden Cradle Adoption is insisting that the Adoption in a New Jersey Adoption.

Met Ana; she was told that she had the 30 day revocation timeframe under PA law because she is from PA, she lives in PA, she was told the family lived in PA, and the baby was born in PA, only to now be told that it’s a New Jersey adoption. Of course, New Jersey does not have a revocation of adoption consent period recognized by law. How convenient. read more…

When Newborns are Shuffled Around in Legal Shell Games

Not in the "Best Interest" of this Baby

And I am frustrated, now completely, in the manner that this moves along legally. When a newborns life and well being hangs in the balance, and his lifelong issues of trust and security are being compromised, this becomes a game of legal motions, petitions, actions, courts and stays. I swear there should be some kind of judicial rush that comes into play when a child’s life and well being hangs in balance. Yet, case after case, we watch as the games drag on, financials are drained and the child is the one used like a pawn of adults and agencies with their own agenda. Then the courts have the nerve to rule on a child’s best interest when they themselves had a hand in causing the pain and loss that will accompany almost any outcome. read more…

The Crucifixion of Carri; How to Make her Less Than a Human Being Worthy of Compassion

adoption by gentle care sends in the credibility troll

I know how this story goes. Grayson Vaughn’s father Benjamin was a “criminal”, Dusten Brown was a “deadbeat dad” and I suppose Carri must require some sort of character assassination as well. read more…

Updating on the Current UnEthical Adoption in Ohio

This CAN be over any minute. If the HAP’s returned Camden to Adoption by Gentle Care and aren’t willing to take the bullet; if the DNA results prove that they will fighting both an illegal consent of the mother and a refusal to consent from a father, then it just might be too much for these unethical characters. read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care; An Adoption Agency in Ohio Not so Gentle, Not so Caring

AGC a COlumbus Ohio Based Adoption Agency with a bad reputation

I don’t need to tell you what to do. I don’t need to tell you to be outraged. I don’t need to tell you how to feel about this mother and baby boy. I just ask that you help me do something. He is only 3 weeks old. He doesn’t have to remembered this like Veronica Brown. read more…

Chicago Screening Adoption Film; “A Girl Like Her”

Adoption film Girl Like Her

What: Film Screening of A Girl Like Her” and Discussion with Filmmaker Ann Fessler
When: Thursday May 1st, 2014 at 6:00pm
Where: The Museum of Contemporary Photography (MoCP) Ferguson Lecture Hall, 600 South Michigan Avenue, Chicago IL http://www.mocp.org/events/event?id=257900
Bonus: Adoption Community AND Ann Fessler herself! read more…

Missing Persons

Missing persons no closure

What’s the Difference? Family of the Missing Plane or Mother from Adoption

I personally find it difficult to understand why our society in general can grasp these families grief, yet they can’t understand or even acknowledge a mother of adoption loss’ grief. Do mothers not warrant the same compassion and empathy as those that lose a loved one in another fashion? Loss is loss. Grief has no rules as to which situation grants the right to grieve. read more…

Adoption Fundraisers, Church Tax Deductions, the Adoption Tax Credit and Fraud?

Adoption Fundraisers, Church Tax Deductions, the Adoption Tax Credit and Fraud?

What I have discovered is that the huge amounts of money in adoption and specifically in adoption funding through church again, makes my jaw not just drop, but fall to the floor and go hide in a corner trembling. But it’s all ok, right? Because we are saving children from the horrible fate of living in apartments with their single mothers and having to go to day care. read more…