Embracing Change: A New Musings of the Lame

Branded by adoption; the true scarlett letter

Oh No Please Don’t Go!

We'll eat you up, we love you so. I’m assuming you have noticed that the entire look of Musings of the Lame has changed. No, we haven’t been bought out by corporate raiders.  Rather, I took what could have been a sad situation and embraced it.  I’m actually rather excited.

Since this blog started in 2005, I have used Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are as my branding here. It was always a no brainer as Wild Things and Max were, and still are, the theme to my adoption experience.  I adore Maurice Sendak, cried like a baby when he died, and the influence of Sendak  upon my life will not dissipate. That being said, the Estate of Maurice Sendak didn’t agree.

Emotional Reactions to The Cease and Desist Letter on Monday

On October 7, 2013, I received the FedEx demands from the lawyers for the Estate. I did reply, begging, tears running down my face, not being able to even imagine what I could do instead of Max here. Joanie came over and brought me chocolate, Rye hugged me and listened to me fret. I spent my morning literally mourning the idea of the loss of the symbolism on my blog. It wasn’t just the work, it wasn’t just the branding, it was an adoption trigger and I felt, in some way, that I was losing my child again, Though it was not NEARLY as bad as the kitten incident. I knew this was clearly adoption related.

Alas, I did what I could. I replied to the attorneys. I hoped that I would be granted permission. I thank all who rallied  round my desperate cry on Facebook and offered kind words, understanding, encouragement and even offered to chip in for purchasing the rights to the artwork. I know that MOTL is not just about me, but means something to many people. It showed.

There was discussion on guessing how they found out, but initially I really didn’t care how.. whether someone had turned me in or if the estate was just doing their job after he died. How would I ever know and what would it matter anyway? Either I could use the artwork or I could not. Why waste time on things that don’t matter in the grand scheme?

But then, I received word from Gaye that she witnessed the Save Veronica Rose people on Facebook actually discussing “telling on me” in regards to Wild Things copyright. And it did matter then. It mattered a whole lot.

No Satisfaction Here; I Won’t Back Down

I believe Gaye, so to me it is proof.
It is also proof that I hurt them. That we are threat to them. And that they are slimy chicken poops that revert to underhanded methods to enact revenge. I mean really? THAT’s how you react to actual truth? You tell on me? That’s really too funny! I am amused. I laughed. Sorry, I left 3rd grade a long time ago. The minute I read Gaye’s words, it felt like a switch was flipped inside me.

They wanted to hurt me. They wanted to get me upset. And I would, in no way, give them the pleasure of that. OK, they got me upset for about 3 hours. And then, they strengthen my resolve. May I? Yes, I believe I must; hey you stupid cretins – here’s a big FUCK YOU right back! Guess what? I can just redesign my whole damn website all by myself in a mere 48 hours!

If I must part with Max, an illustration, a symbol,  for Veronica, an actual real, now adoptee, girl? Then it is worth it. It is so worth it to sacrifice a drawing for truth. I was HAPPY to do it now! And so, we move on to a bigger better Musings of the Lame. I take my messages from the Universe very seriously even if I dislike the messengers!

A New Chapter, More Than an Adoption Blog

I have been seriously thinking for some time now how MOTL has become more than just MY blog. It’s not just MY soapbox anymore, but it is OUR platform.  Hence, I have been making small moves in that direction.

I want to keep going in that direction.  For one, I can’t keep up on my own! AdoptionLand is a busy busy place!!!  The other thing is that because I know SEO, Musings of the Lame does rank really, really well for many important adoption terms. That’s not just about me being heard, it’s about ALL of us being heard. It’s about us taking back what the adoption story is.

Seriously, my project list is HUGE!  So, in some way, the whole rebranding is setting a tone for a new chapter.

Good-Bye Wild Things, Hello Red Goats!

So, yes. Max was completely emotionally connected to me. It said this blog was MY story, my adoption experience. I am hoping the new brand will be more inclusive, not so personal, though it still is in many ways. While I was still freaking out about new branding, the phrases “bridges, rocks, foundation, building” all keep running though my head. I knew I wanted to keep the lame part, though more than  it is what my name means, but because we are broken by adoption. I ran with it.

I know it is completely different , but I actually had a ton of fun with it and it still oozes with symbolism:

The Bridge: the new tagline is “Building a Bridge to Truth“; I have long thought of myself as a bridge and what I try to here is create a way to connect all of us.  I maintain ties with folks from all over AdoptionLand and beyond. I bridge us here and the tools of marketing online.  We connect to our pasts with searches, we connect to the feature through reunions. We build bridges to our lost family members.  Get it?

I also have a thing for rocks, stones, etc. and am always going off about broken foundations.

Branded by adoption; the true scarlett letter

The Scarlett A: pretty simple actually-  A is for adoption. I have been saying for the past year that I was going to get a real Scarlett Letter tattooed on my chest; but I wasn’t sure which A yet. This is the A! For one, notice the three sections? Like a ying yang? While I KNOW we hate the idea of an “adoption triad” because it seems to say equality between all three and leaves out the big players, the adoption industry, I like the use here. Why? Because look at this A.  It is violent. It is harsh. It is a brand- burned, stamped, torched upon us. And yes, I do mean all of us; adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents; the industry hurt us with this, used us all for what we had to offer –  blood was shed. Why are we Lame? Because of Adoption, the monster, the machine, the industry.

Oh, and my daughter’s name is Scarlett. And YES, I am getting that tattoo!

Red, Jadite, Tiffiany Blues: So the red came with the A, as for the rest? I do vintage/ retro. It matches my kitchen and bedroom. I like it. It’s pretty. It’s crisp and clean. I am using more copyright friendly images overall for other things. I have taken the DENIED stamp from the Adoptee Rights movement and incorporated that and then, my other new love is “engravings”. They are old. They are fair use. They are fun, funky, retro and look good. Wait till you see the Unicorn I found!!

Red goats of kingston nyThe Red Goats: The Red Goat is actually a Kingston, NY thing. It’s kind of silly, kind of bad, rebellious, defiant, but gets noticed. I decide to embrace my inner goat and pay homage to where I call home… the Red Goats and Musings of the Lame both were born on Wall Street.  The Red Goats of Kingston have a Wiki page and a NY Times article about them, certain words just resonated with me:

“This is not a problem, this is an opportunity- Seize it! Occupy Wall Street. With goats.”

“The red goat is a great symbol — simple, striking, edgy, easy to remember and easier to associate with a sense of stubborn defiance”

Yeah. It’s kind of me in a nutshell.

Join me! Seize the Opportunity!!

So, I  invite you to seize the day with me. Embrace the change. Max, Maurice and the Wild Things will always be dear to me and from your support, dear for you, too. I thank you and I will not ask you to stop.

Now, when you see a Wild Thing and think of me, think of Veronica Brown too.  Think of injustice and the corruption in adoption! Think of ways to reach out, to be heard, to embrace your inner goat, to defy! Help build that bridge to adoption truths. Join the Adoption Army; Donate to keep me working here; Write a letter; Go to a protest!

Let’s go, we got lots of work to do!

 

About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

12 Comments on "Embracing Change: A New Musings of the Lame"

  1. You go girl. I love, love, love the new look.

  2. Yeah, Claud! Embracing change with renewed vigor and determination!

  3. Excellent, Claude! So it may be the Veronica adoptanuts who may be behind this. Interesting. (I had my own idea about what happened since I know a little about about these things, but I think you’re right). They have hurt you in a personal way, but ironically, created a new political animal (so to speak–not that yyou aren’t already. You and the rest of us truth tellers and ass kickers are a danger to them–not just the Cs but their entire lust for other peoples kids.. Well, they ain’t seen nothing yet. I’ve been on a sorta hiatus for awhile for several unrelated reasons, , but I’m back now. The juvenile actions of the the V Crowd should only encourage us–even those of us who have been at this longer than we care to think–to continue the fight., harder and tougher than ever. The radical industrialists (I divide them) are fighting back. CHIFF, anti-ICWA, the “christian orphan movement” are all meant to hide the truth and beat bastards and their families into the ground . Well, it ain’t gonna happen. Now I feel encouraged to blog about this a bit more formally. I look forward to what comes next.

  4. Barbara Scott | October 10, 2013 at 3:51 pm |

    Claudia, you have always been someone I repected, however today YOU ROCK SISTA!!!!!!! You are my HERO!!!

  5. I said it to you on twitter if there were people who turned you in then they are extremely petty and lead sad lives where they actually took time out of their day to turn you in.

  6. Awesome!

    They will *never* shut us up.

  7. i’m telling.

  8. Victoria Gallegos | October 14, 2013 at 1:55 am |

    I too well miss seeing Where the Wild Things Are when I click on your blog. But I love the new look, and will remember with each new post how you are affecting the adoption community. You really touched some nerves with the Veronica Brown situation. You always do, but you’re getting even more popular now. That can only be a good thing!

  9. Barry Carozzi | December 25, 2013 at 4:21 pm |

    On July 28, 2009, I discovered that I was an adoptee. I had been adopted at the age of three months. The discovery came as quite a shock, as I was 66 years of age! I have since discovered that there is a name for people like me: Late Discovery Adoptees ( or LDAs) . I look forward to accessing this group. I have – just in the few weeks – commenced a PhD. My topic is: The lived experience of late discovery adoptees. I am keen to correspond with other people who are Late Discovery Adoptees.

  10. Vicki Stuart | March 30, 2014 at 6:26 pm |

    Go, Barry! I too have decided to go ahead with my PhD. Why adoptions need to be open and why the open adoption plan needs to be legally enforceable. In Australia, we had a National Apology to Forced Adoption on 21/3/2013. Before a year had passed our Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, has decided to remove children from women who have a drug addiction/ alcohol/ domestic violence history. Leaving the drug addiction and alcohol aside for the moment and looking at domestic violence – if you are the victim of violence and stay with the perpetrator you lose your baby, if you move out and are homeless, you lose your baby – damned if you do and damned if you don’t – outcome, another baby for the adoption trade! Which is what it is all about!

  11. Barry Carozzi | April 1, 2014 at 12:37 pm |

    Hi Vicki. I think that adoptees undertaking a PhD is kind of like a personal Royal Commission into an issue of importance – a practice that has been socially condoned, but so often iniquitous in its intent and results. My email is barry.carozzi@gmail.com . I would love to hear more about your PhD. Have you started? With which institution? I’m just 3 months into my thesis, and working through the Ethics process.
    Barry

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