Adoption Blogs & Adoption Bloggers

Adoption blogs and adoption bloggers; adoptees, birthmothers, adoptive parents

There are Many Many Adoption Blogs!

Adoption is not just one person’s story or one person’s truth. We all have voices and unique perspectives on the experiences.

When I started blogging, there was just a handful of us in the small adoption blogosphere, now, I am thrilled that there are so very many. Please feel free to let me know if I have missed any.

Email me with the links at fixadoption at gmail dot com and I will include them. Or get syndicated now. All I need is a feed. 

Reading Blogs from Adult Adoptees

The most important, in my opnion, are the blogs written by adoptees as  they know what we need to do to really fix adoption for the children it affects. Please listen to their words. Take off your blinders, open your heart and hear them.  It’s not all about rainbows and butterflys and making YOU feel good.. it’s adoption. It’s suppose to be about the children. Listen to them..they have voices now.

Adoptee Blogs

More Birthmothers Blogging

I think so many of us spent all too many years in isolation with our loss and pain. The industry that took away our children told us to move on and created a set of rules that most of us fail at. We never got over losing our babies and adoption, this one time event that was suppose to fix everything, still continues to affect all of us each and every day. Don’t say we are the minority, just listen to what we have to say.

 If you want the list of More Birthmother Blogs click here.

There are also other birthmother blogs syndicated here on Musings of the Lame:

Blogs from Adoptive Parents

The great majority of adoption blogs are still written by adoptive parents. many start blogging to share their stories of finding their children and becoming the “forever family”. I don’t even try to include them on my list here. Truthfully, I don’t want to. The adoptive parents blogs that I include here are, in my opinion  some of the best. These are the role models for adoptive parents; the ones that really understand adoption and accept the imperfect losses involved.

Blogs from Adoptive Parents

I will also syndicate  blogs from Adoptive Parents if they are acceptable to the overall message on MOTL.

Other Adoption Related Blogs

Adoption does not just affect the baby adopted, the adoptive parents and the birthfamily. Adoption issues affect the spouses of adoptees and their children. The siblings in birthfamilies who lost their brothers and sisters too. There are birthfathers and birth sisters and grandparents and uncles. Every voice is just as important.

And then, we have the children created through surrogacy and sperm and egg doners who are now grown up and have also found their voices. You’ll never be able to prove to me that thier stories are not related to adoption as they face so many of the same issues and feelings as adoptees.

Even More Blogs on Adoption Issues

Be Published Here!  Get Syndicated Your blog, your story, your words, your voice. You don’t have to do anything else but keep on what you are doing the way you are doing it. And after the initial set up, I don’t have to do anything either, but your post will be published here on Musings of the Lame. Read More abut getting syndicated on Musing of the Lame right now


What Do I Do When She Lies to My Face?

By Lori Holden [Temporary note: For those of you following the saga of my son’s freak accident, I’m pleased to report he is home from the hospital and we are back in our routine. Thanks for all your well-wishes. We now return to our regularly scheduled adoption advice post.] Question: Our son’s birth mom has been telling lies … Continue reading What Do I Do When She Lies to My Face? →
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Avoiding Sibling Separation in Adoption

By Mirah Riben Michael Allen Potter and his brother and sister were taken from their schizophrenic mother and adopted separately. He writes in “Le Roi Inconnu”:”I stare at people more than I should on the subway. …. One of my greatest fears is to be two seats behind my brother or my sister and not realize it until they’ve stepped onto the platform and the doors are closing behind them. Whenever I leave the house, I have it in the back of my mind that today might be the day that one of them grabs my sleeve on the street.”
This shadow follows those separated from siblings, blocking the light of truth, reconciliation and wholeness. Many describe knowing they have a sibling they are separated from as having a piece of themselves missing.
It has been reported that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have adopted a Syrian orphan. These currently unconfirmed rumors (like those of Jennifer Aniston adopting) have circulated for at least a year, and are doubtful given that Syria, as a Muslim country, does not allow adoption as we know read more…

Hospital Stay

By Lori Holden My son, Reed, was in a freak accident late last week. Everything is going to be fine and we got a new family story to bond us together. We hope he’ll get spring from the hospital soon (hello, Universe — how about today?) and we are all thankful for your outpouring of good wishes. Here … Continue reading Hospital Stay →
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Shout It Out

By Cassi So, between taking my sweet Granddaughter to Disney World and getting into our family place at the lake, I’ve spent most of September barely on social media. I’d pick up a little bit here and there when I’d log in but not enough to know what was going on.Seeing the tags for #shoutyouradoption here and there had me curious, but not enough, I admit, to do further research into their meaning while I was away. It wasn’t until yesterday, when I finally got my computer all set back up and ventured back into social media that I realized the disgusting reality behind why the #shoutyouradoption tags came into existence.And my first thought was how heartbreaking and sad it was that our society so easily accepts, shares, and makes viral the clear message that a pregnant woman should be encouraged to keep her pregnancy so that she can carry a baby for nine months and then it give it up to someone else. This is seen as okay. A good solution to abortion. Just carry your pregnancy through, go through birth and then give your own child away to the many read more…

Why Adoptees Search

By Laura Marie Scoggins
One cannot annul the fact that one was given up by one clan and taken in by another; one can only see the consequences of that fact in a new light that illuminates what happened in a healing way. Betty Jean Lifton, Journey of the Adopted Self
One of the most common questions asked of adoptees is why they search for their biological family.
Our response to that question is WHY NOT?!
Should adoptees not be allowed the same equal rights as every other human being on this planet? Why would we not want the same information about ourselves that you do?
Adoptees are denied the basic information that non-adopted people take for granted. I have compiled a list of reasons from many books, blogs, articles, and social media comments that I have read over the years along with the basic questions I always had growing up.
Who Am I? To help me complete my identity and sense of self.
Who are the two people who created me?
Did they stay together after I was born?
Did read more…

Freak Accident

By Lori Holden “…a stabbing…on the school bus…your son….” Three things no parent ever wants to hear in the same sentence. But that’s what I heard when a police officer called me yesterday afternoon shortly before I expected my kids to come bounding in the door. ~~~~~ I shove my feet into shoes and snag my purse on … Continue reading Freak Accident →
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By AstridBeeMom Life has been busy. I started working full time, in addition to going to school full time. I know I’ve been neglecting this blog and I really wish I had more time to write.
There are so many good things in the works right now, as far as family preservation efforts are concerned. I can’t wait until the day I can share it with you all.
One day I was driving and my youngest daughter was in the car with me. She said, “If you wouldn’t have given IKL up for adoption then you wouldn’t be helping so many people with like searches and stuff or to help other people keep their babies.” I had to think for a few minutes before I responded. I hate the “God-ordained meant to be” adoption stories. This was bordering close to it. I told her that she was right. Had I not went through what I went through then I wouldn’t exist in this adoption world. I told her that sometimes when something bad happens to us we use it to do good things so it won’t happen to anyone else. I also emphasized that, if given read more…

The Intercountry Adoption Debate

By Mirah Riben What is the debate concerning international child adoption? That depends on who you ask.
Forty-four experts representing a variety of disciplines including law, medicine and health, social work, anthropology, religion, sociology and history have their say in The Intercountry Adoption Debate, edited by Robert L. Ballard, Naomi H. Goodno, Robert F. Cochran and Jay A. Millbrandt.
The formidable 737-page, hard cover volume contains twenty-seven essays in seven sections, which are primarily the result of the 2010 Intercountry Adoption Summit in Canada and the 2013 Pepperdine conference. The editors bring together scholars from all corners of the world where adopted children originate as well as where they are distributed to, to address this complex and controversial topic, providing an in-depth discussion of International Child Adoption (ICA). The Decline and the Debate
The decline in ICA is addressed by many contributors. David Smolin, one of the contributors, wrote about the decline and its effect on the ICA debate on Facebook in July, 2015, shortly after the closing of the Joint Council for International Children’s Services (JCICS or Joint Council) after 40 years of operation. Smolin wrote that: “[D]espite what some may believe, the intercountry read more…

Gimme Just 10 Seconds

By Lori Holden Pause for 10 second meditation: cattails in the breeze. #meditation #onmywalk #walkingmeditation #cattails #breeze #nature #mothernaturerocks #soothing #relaxing #reorienting #pause #nofilter #birdschirping #presentmoment #now #payattention A video posted by Lori Lavender Luz (@lavluz) on Sep 7, 2015 at 10:03am PDT Nature is a balm. Stillness soothes. How about we all partake of these freely available … Continue reading Gimme Just 10 Seconds →
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U.S. GOA Report on Adoption Rehoming

By Mirah Riben Two years after Reuters’ five-part report on the rehoming of adopted children in the U.S., the U.S. Government Office of Accountability (GOA) has released a report entitled “Steps Have Been Taken to Address Unregulated Custody Transfers of Adopted Children” (GAO-15-733: Published: Sep 16, 2015. Publicly Released: Sep 16, 2015).”GAO examined (1) the reasons adoptive families consider unregulated child custody transfers, and services that exist to support these families before they take such an action; (2) what is known about the prevalence of these transfers; and (3) actions selected states and federal agencies have taken to address such transfers. GAO reviewed relevant federal laws, regulations, and policies and selected state laws and proposed legislation. GAO also interviewed officials from federal agencies, 19 child welfare and adoption organizations, 15 adoption agencies, and 7 states selected primarily because of legislative activity on unregulated transfers. GAO also searched online activity on selected social media sites to find illustrative examples of families who may be considering unregulated transfers.”
The report, which was made with “technical comments” from The Departments of Health and Human Services, Homeland Security, and read more…

How Search and Reunion Saved My Life

By Laura Marie Scoggins
One of the most common questions adoptees are asked when they tell people they are searching for their biological family or have been reunited is “why would you even want to search?”
The insensitivity of this question makes my blood boil. I have to pause and count to ten before replying. Sometimes when that doesn’t work and the blood boiling makes my head feel like it’s going to explode then I have to count to 100. Sometimes I am just too exhausted to go into detail and let the moment pass without answer.
This moment is intensified when such a naive question is asked by a fellow adoptee, but that is another post for another day.
The total lack of insight and understanding of our society, and especially the pro-adoption Christian church, into the life long effects of being an adoptee is startling.
Imagine what it’s like your entire life every single time you go to the doctor and are asked to fill out a medical history form you can’t. All you can do is write ADOPTED in large letters across read more…

Arc of An Open Adoption

By Lori Holden Guest posting today is Rachel Garlinghouse, mother of three and writer at White Sugar Brown Sugar. ~~~~~ It’s 2006. I’ve just been diagnosed with a chronic, forever disease. I’m curled up in a hospital bed — emaciated, foggy, and angry — when a diabetes nurse educator comes into my room and starts talking to me … Continue reading Arc of An Open Adoption
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Toward Preventing Adoption-Related Suicde

By Mirah Riben National Suicide Prevention Month is an appropriate time to talk about something that puts adolescents at increased risk for suicide: adoption. Attempted suicide is more common among adolescents who live with adoptive parents than among adolescents who live with biological parents. The association persists after adjusting for depression and aggression and is not explained by impulsivity as measured by a self-reported tendency to make decisions quickly. (Slap, et al., Pediatrics, Vol 108, No. 2, August 1, 2001.)
Adopted people are, in fact, four times more likely to attempt suicide than non-adoptees: The odds of a reported suicide attempt were 4 times greater in adoptees compared with nonadoptees (odds ratio: 4.23). After adjustment for factors associated with suicidal behavior, the odds of reporting a suicide attempt were reduced but remained significantly elevated (odds ratio: 3.70). (Keyes, et al., Pediatrics online, Sept. 9, 2013) In addition, a Swedish study found international adoptees were more likely than other Swedish-born children to attempt and to die from suicide (odds ratio 3.6, 95% CI 2.1-5.9); attempt suicide.
The adoption-suicide connection is too often excluded from discussions and scholarly discourse about suicide or about adoption. Maureen McCauley Evans, M.A., read more…

9/11, Ed McCaffrey, Stephen Covey & Me

By Lori Holden Tuesday’s Horror was Preceded by Monday Night Football I went to bed feeling sick the night of September 10, 2001. My sports hero was Ed McCaffrey, #87 and Denver Broncos wide-receiver, general nice guy and spectacular athlete. During that night’s Monday Night Football game against the NY Giants (boo!) Eddie Mac had suffered a broken … Continue reading 9/11, Ed McCaffrey, Stephen Covey & Me →
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Validating My Motherhood

By Susie One of the biggest hurdles I have had to overcome in the six+ years since being reunited with Christopher has been the claiming of my motherhood ~ from my very first pregnancy, not just from the birth of the children I raised. For I never allowed myself to consider that Christopher was my child, therefore I was not “really” a mother to him. He was always “the baby I couldn’t raise”. The things your psyche does to protect itself… The first crack in that thinking was 16 years after his birth, when my daughter was 13. She found the envelope of papers and photos of the brother she didn’t know existed. When she finally confronted me with the knowledge, she called him her brother. My brain screamed “he’s not your brother!” (I may have even said it out loud?). Then my heart skipped a beat as I realized that yes, he was. He was not just the baby I couldn’t raise. He was her brother. He had two younger brothers also. He was my son, I was his mother. But I wasn’t…After reuniting and being able to fully acknowledge my motherhood, I still struggled with it. read more…