Adoption Blogs & Adoption Bloggers

Adoption blogs and adoption bloggers; adoptees, birthmothers, adoptive parents

There are Many Many Adoption Blogs!

Adoption is not just one person’s story or one person’s truth. We all have voices and unique perspectives on the experiences.

When I started blogging, there was just a handful of us in the small adoption blogosphere, now, I am thrilled that there are so very many. Please feel free to let me know if I have missed any.

Email me with the links at fixadoption at gmail dot com and I will include them. Or get syndicated now. All I need is a feed. 

Reading Blogs from Adult Adoptees

The most important, in my opnion, are the blogs written by adoptees as  they know what we need to do to really fix adoption for the children it affects. Please listen to their words. Take off your blinders, open your heart and hear them.  It’s not all about rainbows and butterflys and making YOU feel good.. it’s adoption. It’s suppose to be about the children. Listen to them..they have voices now.

Adoptee Blogs

More Birthmothers Blogging

I think so many of us spent all too many years in isolation with our loss and pain. The industry that took away our children told us to move on and created a set of rules that most of us fail at. We never got over losing our babies and adoption, this one time event that was suppose to fix everything, still continues to affect all of us each and every day. Don’t say we are the minority, just listen to what we have to say.

 If you want the list of More Birthmother Blogs click here.

There are also other birthmother blogs syndicated here on Musings of the Lame:

Blogs from Adoptive Parents

The great majority of adoption blogs are still written by adoptive parents. many start blogging to share their stories of finding their children and becoming the “forever family”. I don’t even try to include them on my list here. Truthfully, I don’t want to. The adoptive parents blogs that I include here are, in my opinion  some of the best. These are the role models for adoptive parents; the ones that really understand adoption and accept the imperfect losses involved.

Blogs from Adoptive Parents

I will also syndicate  blogs from Adoptive Parents if they are acceptable to the overall message on MOTL.

Other Adoption Related Blogs

Adoption does not just affect the baby adopted, the adoptive parents and the birthfamily. Adoption issues affect the spouses of adoptees and their children. The siblings in birthfamilies who lost their brothers and sisters too. There are birthfathers and birth sisters and grandparents and uncles. Every voice is just as important.

And then, we have the children created through surrogacy and sperm and egg doners who are now grown up and have also found their voices. You’ll never be able to prove to me that thier stories are not related to adoption as they face so many of the same issues and feelings as adoptees.

Even More Blogs on Adoption Issues

Be Published Here!  Get Syndicated Your blog, your story, your words, your voice. You don’t have to do anything else but keep on what you are doing the way you are doing it. And after the initial set up, I don’t have to do anything either, but your post will be published here on Musings of the Lame. Read More abut getting syndicated on Musing of the Lame right now

 



Life in Limbo

By AstridBeeMom My last personal update was in the middle of January so I figured it was time to write again. I’ve been struggling a bit more with things, in regards to adoption, and I think that getting it all out would be helpful. I am almost finished writing a memoir novella about the time of my pregnancy, birth and the following weeks. I know this has taken its toll on my emotional health as revisiting that time period is always difficult, let alone writing about it. At the same time, it is healing to get it all out. I plan to self publish on Kindle with the majority of the proceeds going to our new organization “Saving Our Sisters” for family preservation efforts.
So where am I now? I feel as though my life is in a perpetual state of limbo. I am always waiting for the next communication, the next picture, the next update. As of lately my thoughts have obsessively gone to everything adoption. I play out endless amounts of scenarios in my head. In some scenarios IKL comes to visit with her adoptive parents and we all have a great time and continue read more…

The Trauma of Mothers Who Have Lost Children to Adoption

By Mirah Riben In a public hearing before the Assembly Institutions, Health and Welfare Committee on Adoption, December 9, 1981, in Trenton, New Jersey, attorney Harold Cassidy made the following impassioned plea:There is a need for us in society to learn to know the women who have come to call themselves ‘birth-mothers.’ They are women who know that a child is part of his mother forever… They know the pain of wanting what is best for the child they love, while society tells them that what is best is that they never see that child again… They know the neverending grief of being continually denied what every portion of their souls demands: the knowledge that their children are well.
We, as a society, have perpetrated the crudest deception. What we have believed to be altruistic has been, in reality, destructive. We have sought to create without any understanding of how much we destroy in the process.
Birth parents now know that separating a mother and her child is not in the best interests of either of them. Their enormous sacrifice was based on society’s misconceptions. The adoptees’ sense of read more…

The Unknown

By Lori Holden Let’s say you get wind that someone unknown to you is checking you out. Perusing pages and pages your blog. Or angling to get your attention via various social media platforms. Or asking about you in your offline life. Whether online or in “real” life, you get the sense that someone is gathering information about … Continue reading The Unknown →
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A Look at the Laws: Termination of Parental Rights for Fathers and Mothers – Who Does It Protect?

By AstridBeeMom When we talk about domestic infant adoption, who do the laws, which vary by state, really protect? Do they protect the biological or expectant mother? What about the alleged or assumed father? The prospective adoptive parents? How about the child in question? There are fifty states, plus the District of Columbia, within the United States. Each state has their own laws and rules that are governed under more broad federal laws. While most states follow the same general guidelines, some states are uniquely different. Let’s take a quick look at the general practices from most states.
Generally speaking, the most accepted standard of practice, and laws, state that a mother cannot sign a consent to adoption or termination of parental rights unless 72 hours (3 days) has passed from the time of the baby’s birth. Most states allow for no revocation period but do allow for the consent to be challenged if duress or coercion can be proven. Some states don’t even allow for the revocation of consent if duress or coercion can be proven, but most do. In regards to the alleged or assumed father, most read more…

Extension of Adoptee Survey – Still Need More Participants! Please Share!

By AstridBeeMom Tomorrow would be the final day to participate in the adoptee survey I have running that can be found here: Adoptee Survey by Musings of a Birthmom
However, with only 191 respondents, I feel that I need to extend it until I have at least 300 completed surveys. It is at this point that I would like to encourage you all to share this survey and fill it out if you have not done so already. Not many surveys like this exist and the results should be interesting.
Thank you!
AstridFiled under: Adoptee Voices, survey

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Ohio Opens Sealed Adoption Records

By Laura Marie Scoggins
Today is Independence Day for Ohio adoptees. Today is the day that 400,000 Ohio adoptees from the closed records adoption era are finally allowed legal access to their original birth certificate. Records for adoptions before 1964 and after September 1996 were not sealed, but for those of us adopted during the years in between our records were. Today we finally have access to those records.
I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio in 1965 but adopted in Evansville, Indiana. Catholic Charities in Evansville, Indiana sent my mother to St. Joseph Infant and Maternity Home in Cincinnati, Ohio where I was born. Twelve days after my birth I was adopted by a family in Evansville. My birth certificate was altered to say that I was born in Indiana.
Today is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. I am supposed to be in Columbus, Ohio today. I scheduled time off from work months ago. My daughter went to great lengths to rearrange her busy schedule, take off work, and make plans for her six year old to stay home with daddy for a few days. I made hotel reservations read more…

Anonymous IF – The Question of Pre-Birth Matching

By AstridBeeMom The topic of pre-birth matching is a hot one. On one hand, an expectant mother would like to get to know the people that will ultimately (if she does indeed decide to go through with an adoption) parent her child. On the other, the emotional and psychological issues that go with such a delicate relationship often do have an affect on a mother’s decision, in the end.
Developing a relationship with a prospective adoptive couple, for an expectant mother, will undoubtedly include huge emotional investments on both sides. Adoption agencies and attorneys teach both parties about the importance of a “good match” being made. After all, you will have these people in your life for the rest of your life, like it or not. To determine whether or not it is a “good match” you would have to make a huge emotional investment, wouldn’t you? Not necessarily. For an expectant mother, this will likely be more important. What does an expectant mother lose, once she becomes a birthmother, if she does not have a solid emotional investment in the relationship between her and her child’s adoptive read more…

Scandalous Stepmother Tries to Terminate Father’s Parental Rights

By AstridBeeMom **Names have been changed for privacy and legal reasons**
Fathers. They are the most under-recognized victims of unethical adoptions. But this reaches far further than just domestic infant adoption. All over the internet you will find hundreds of “Fathers Rights” groups, pages, and resources. You would think that in this day and age it would not be so easy for a woman to systematically eliminate a father from a child’s life. You would be wrong.
Today I will tell you a story. It is the story of a cousin that is more like a brother to me. It’s a sad story and will end even sadder without the help of social media. I am hoping that by sharing we will be able to stop two more unnecessary adoptions.
Wayne and I were born 8 days apart. Our mothers are sisters. We have always been close and lived together on and off for almost half of our childhoods. We’ve both had our issues, in life, in the past. We’ve both made mistakes. We’ve both done things we weren’t proud of, but here we are today, still standing, still fighting, still trying to do right read more…

Could You Do This for 4 Minutes?

By Lori Holden Or is such intimacy a hot potato that can’t be held for too long? I conducted my own experiments yesterday. Intimacy and Connection: Field Notes Child A: Was fidgety. Wanted to do something more active, but stuck with the experiment. Persevered through temptations to check the timer, and later stayed to observe as I did … Continue reading Could You Do This for 4 Minutes? →
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Triumph in Ohio

By Lori Holden Another One Bites the Dust Remember when I predicted that glasnost would come to adoption? That the walls erected in the name of shame and secrecy will inevitably fall, state by state, thanks to the hard work of adoption reform activists around the country –because anything built on a foundation of shame and secrecy simply … Continue reading Triumph in Ohio →
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Finding Family Truths and Roots

By Mirah Riben Review of the book, Finding Our Families: The first-of-its-kind for donor-conceived people and their families by Wendy Kramer and Naomi Cahn, J.D. Finding Our Families is a treasure trove of compassionate advice designed to help those raising the more than an estimated million people who were conceived using so-called donor* sperm, the tens of thousands whose lives began with eggs of contributors, and thousands who were “adopted” frozen embryos, as well as the donors.
The 258-page book compiled by Wendy Kramer, the mother of a donor-conceived son and Naomi Cahn, family and reproductive law professor, helps blood-related kin navigate relationships unthought-of generations ago. The book offers how-to search assistance and suggests ways for the legal, social, and nurturing family to open their hearts and minds to those who contributed eggs, sperm, or embryos in addition to welcoming siblings who share the same or half genealogy.
Kramer and Cahn share the belief that donor-conceived children’s desire to know their genetic family “must” be honored and provide sensitive and thoughtful help such as how and when read more…

Healing From Unexpected Places

By Laura Marie Scoggins
Back during my middle school years I was a huge Shaun Cassidy fan. My bedroom was plastered with posters including the ceiling. I had all the latest issues of Tiger Beat and Teen Beat. I sat in front of the TV each week in anticipation for the next episode of the Hardy Boys. I had all of his albums. I knew all of his songs. Needless to say when I found out Shaun Cassidy was coming to my town I was beside myself with excitement.
I remember the day my mom and I stood in line for tickets. Somehow we managed to get center stage third row seats. I was one happy girl! The night of the concert my mom and dad took a friend and I to the concert. In anticipation of the show starting people left their seats and rushed to the stage. My mom rushed up with them so she could get good photos and ended up right in front up against the barricade. The entire section between the first row of seats and the barricade was packed. The aisles were packed. The rest of us on the floor read more…

Saving Our Sisters

By AstridBeeMom Saving Our Sisters or S.O.S. is a grassroots effort founded by Lynn Johansenn and organized by Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy as an effort to provide the resources and tools to expectant mothers who feel they must consider adoption as an option to their crisis pregnancy. Through a nationwide network of birthmothers and volunteers we are able to break through the barriers that are present in these women’s lives in order to provide a path to parenting. To read more about S.O.S. or to sign up to join the army and volunteer your time, services, money, or just a shoulder to lean on, please visit Claudia’s site here:
SAVING OUR SISTERS
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Adoption Reunion From An Adoptee’s Point of View

By Susie Most of the stories you see of adoption reunion in the media are just sort snippets in time ~ the moment that family members see each other face-to-face for the first time since birth. How happy and exciting it all is.Those short snippets don’t show what happens in the time after the first emails, letters, in-person visits.Reunion was life changing for me. There are still times, six years later, that I find myself lost in some aspects; trying to figure out how to navigate this new life with my firstborn son included. Today I read this adoptee’s story of her experience and feelings in being reunited with her natural family.It’s an important read I think, especially for those expectant mothers considering adoption who are still landing here on my blog. If the hope of a future reunion with your child is something that you are holding onto in order to be able to go through with adoption ~ take that hope off the table. It’s not a sure thing. I have come to know some wonderful reunion stories, but there are far more where either the natural mother (or father) read more…

Initial Findings – Adoptee Survey

By AstridBeeMom About halfway through a survey I like to give a glimpse into how the results are forming. This allows everyone to get a little excited and also helps to gather more participants which usually yields more well-rounded results. It seems I am having a more difficult time with getting participants for this survey than I did for my birthmother survey. This could be for any number of reasons but let me speculate. First, I am not an adoptee and am not privy to belonging to adoptee groups. Therefore, word of mouth is slower. Second, dare I ask the question? Are adoptees just innately ingrained to be silent and not stir the boat? Surely this doesn’t apply to all of them as we saw with #flipthescript. I can’t help but wonder, though. Especially after reading some of the answers.
I tried very hard to make a well-rounded survey with as many options as possible for answers. I’ve had some great suggestions in the comments but I cannot change the choices read more…