Adoption Blogs & Adoption Bloggers

Adoption blogs and adoption bloggers; adoptees, birthmothers, adoptive parents

There are Many Many Adoption Blogs!

Adoption is not just one person’s story or one person’s truth. We all have voices and unique perspectives on the experiences.

When I started blogging, there was just a handful of us in the small adoption blogosphere, now, I am thrilled that there are so very many. Please feel free to let me know if I have missed any.

Email me with the links at fixadoption at gmail dot com and I will include them. Or get syndicated now. All I need is a feed. 

Reading Blogs from Adult Adoptees

The most important, in my opnion, are the blogs written by adoptees as  they know what we need to do to really fix adoption for the children it affects. Please listen to their words. Take off your blinders, open your heart and hear them.  It’s not all about rainbows and butterflys and making YOU feel good.. it’s adoption. It’s suppose to be about the children. Listen to them..they have voices now.

Adoptee Blogs

More Birthmothers Blogging

I think so many of us spent all too many years in isolation with our loss and pain. The industry that took away our children told us to move on and created a set of rules that most of us fail at. We never got over losing our babies and adoption, this one time event that was suppose to fix everything, still continues to affect all of us each and every day. Don’t say we are the minority, just listen to what we have to say.

 If you want the list of More Birthmother Blogs click here.

There are also other birthmother blogs syndicated here on Musings of the Lame:

Blogs from Adoptive Parents

The great majority of adoption blogs are still written by adoptive parents. many start blogging to share their stories of finding their children and becoming the “forever family”. I don’t even try to include them on my list here. Truthfully, I don’t want to. The adoptive parents blogs that I include here are, in my opinion  some of the best. These are the role models for adoptive parents; the ones that really understand adoption and accept the imperfect losses involved.

Blogs from Adoptive Parents

I will also syndicate  blogs from Adoptive Parents if they are acceptable to the overall message on MOTL.

Other Adoption Related Blogs

Adoption does not just affect the baby adopted, the adoptive parents and the birthfamily. Adoption issues affect the spouses of adoptees and their children. The siblings in birthfamilies who lost their brothers and sisters too. There are birthfathers and birth sisters and grandparents and uncles. Every voice is just as important.

And then, we have the children created through surrogacy and sperm and egg doners who are now grown up and have also found their voices. You’ll never be able to prove to me that thier stories are not related to adoption as they face so many of the same issues and feelings as adoptees.

Even More Blogs on Adoption Issues

Be Published Here!  Get Syndicated Your blog, your story, your words, your voice. You don’t have to do anything else but keep on what you are doing the way you are doing it. And after the initial set up, I don’t have to do anything either, but your post will be published here on Musings of the Lame. Read More abut getting syndicated on Musing of the Lame right now

 



Happiness vs Contentment

By Lori Holden Which do you pursue: happiness or contentment? And do you perceive a difference between them? ~~~~~ I wasn’t a Spanish major, but I do remember learning when to use ser, “to be,” and when to use estar, also “to be.” The former has to do with identity — I am a wife and mother – … Continue reading Happiness vs Contentment →
The post Happiness vs Contentment appeared first on Lavender Luz.

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How to Find Your Child’s Adoptive Parents – A Step by Step Guide

By AstridBeeMom With an alarming number of women who were promised open adoptions having the door slammed shut in their face, I thought I would write about some methods that can be used in order to solve this problem. Almost every search group will not search for a child until they are 18 or 21 years of age, regardless of whether or not it was supposed to be an open adoption. However, I think that searching for adoptive parents, who promised to always keep you in the loop, is something that all first moms should know how to do.
Most women who were promised open adoptions would probably not have even considered adoption,at all, if they knew they would spend years wondering if their child was healthy or, at the very least,alive. The promise of open adoption does seem to lure in a good number of mothers who would not otherwise have signed the dotted line. This “glamorizing” or “dolling-up” of adoption is a way to fill the demand for babies. While a good number of adoptive parents do keep their promises (and should be given kudos for read more…

The update to “Newly Minted Birthmoms”

By AstridBeeMom AstridBeeMom:Pay attention.
Originally posted on Adoption: Second Generation Birthmom:
This in an update to the post Newly Minted Birthmoms. It is in response to me flipping out over yet another Newly Minted Birthmom with her head in the clouds claiming that she’s at peace with her decision and that she has no regrets. Then I ask the question “how old is your child?” and I get the answer I was fully expecting…Yep…under 3 yrs. For those of you who haven’t read Newly Minted Birthmoms, here is the link. This post will make so much more sense if you read that first. https://adoptionbirthmom.wordpress.com/2014/12/01/newly-minted-birthmoms/

Here’s the thing. Newly minted birthmoms are a whole other breed of brainwashed. I don’t say it to be cruel, only to say that the brand of koolaid the adoption industry is peddling now, I think is the most dangerous batch ever made. The changes to the “formula”over the years have made the physiological effects of adoption…
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When the Lost Get Found

By Laura Marie Scoggins
In all of us there is a hunger, marrow-deep, to know our heritage-to know who we are and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning. No matter what our attainments in life, there is still a vacuum, an emptiness, and the most disquieting loneliness. – Alex Haley, Roots

It was a cold January day with snow on the ground and ice on the roads when I drove to the small rural Indiana town where my birth mom lived. My adoption file had just been opened by the State of Indiana upon the discovery of her death. After 36 years I finally knew her name. I had the address where she grew up and where my grandmother still lived. A two year search with fake names, road blocks, and closed doors culminated in this moment.
My first stop was the local library where I piled old yearbooks high on the table to look for photos of my mom and her siblings. The first book I grabbed was from 1965 because I knew that was the year she graduated. read more…

A Case For Adoption

By AstridBeeMom Every couple of years or so I go through the folder in my filing cabinet labeled “adoption.” This is where I store all pertinent papers in regards to my relinquishment of IKL. It is a “keepsake” folder of sorts, as I literally put every paper I received during that time in it. For 14 years a little purple book entitled, “A Case For Adoption” has remained in that folder and I’ve never even read it. I didn’t read it when I was pregnant and I didn’t read it after relinquishment. I acquired it on accident. Among some hand-outs and other “informational” paperwork I was given by my agency, this was left behind, in my home. I assumed it was meant to be left, and have all these years. Several months ago I decided to skim the pages with my newly “out of the fog” eyes. It appeared to be some sort of handbook on how to convince expectant mothers to relinquish their babies. Tonight I decided to read it from front to back and I just had to share it with you all.
There read more…

Surviving Or Thriving

By Laura Marie Scoggins

A comment was made on the Surviving Adopted Facebook Page that I should change the title to Thriving Adopted because surviving has such a negative connotation.
Here’s the difference:
Thrive – grow or develop vigorously. to prosper and flourish.
Survive – continue to live or exist in spite of danger or hardship, to remain alive, sustain oneself, pull through, hold on.
I’m in the portion of the story where I am telling the “nice” version on my life adopted and how I survived. It is not a woe is me pity party kinda story. It is a look what I survived and overcame and see all God has done in my life kinda story.
I began baton twirling at the age of three and entered my first competition at the age of five. My adopted mother was a baton twirling instructor. The ironic thing about this is the fact that she briefly worked with the majorettes at my birth mother’s high school back in the 1960’s during the time she was in high school and in the band.
I competed read more…

1001th: Just Keep Driving

By Lori Holden I’ve been unmotivated to post anew because…this. But I guess when your car’s odometer passes 100K, you just keep on driving. ~~~~~ I had a post syndicated on BlogHer earlier this month and I invite you to check it out. Get your sexy on with these 5 yoga poses (some of them a skosh more … Continue reading 1001th: Just Keep Driving →
The post 1001th: Just Keep Driving appeared first on Lavender Luz.

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The Adoptee Survey

By AstridBeeMom I was asked, recently, if I would be willing to do an adoptee survey similar to the one I did for birthmothers. I do not pretend to know the first thing about being an adoptee but I have prepared myself for the questions that I am asking by listening very carefully to other adoptees. I have done a lot of reading the past two days in order to gain some insight as to what questions need to be asked. I hope that this survey does my adoptee friends, and the adoption community as a whole, justice. It is so very important to listen to the voices of adoptees, as we learned in #FlipTheScript. If you are an adoptee and would like to participate in this survey it can be found here: Adoptee Survey by Musings of a Birthmom
I thank you, in advance, for your participation!
-AstridFiled under: Adoptee Voices

Read at the Source: : Musings of a Birthmom

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The Yard Stick

By Laura Marie Scoggins
I started playing piano at a young age. I think first grade. I’ve always loved music, and I think I would have been good at it except there was only one problem. My mother sitting on the couch next to the piano nagging, criticizing, nit picking, and yelling. Then I would start crying and refuse to practice anymore. That’s when the yard stick would come out. Yes, she used it. No, it did not motivate me to practice. After a couple years of this she finally gave up and let me quit. She sold the piano.
Oh how I wish I could play the piano today. Musical talent runs in my family (birth family that is). I have it, I’m pretty sure my daughter has it even though she was an athlete and only played the clarinet in junior high, and my granddaughter…oh my…that child definitely has musical talent!
When I was in about the sixth grade I was diagnosed with Scholiosis (curvature of the spine). It was detected in one of those school screenings where they have all the girls come into a room, take their shirts off, bend over, read more…

The Shame and Blame Game

By Laura Marie Scoggins
Recently I scanned photos from family photo albums to digitize everything. They were photos from my parents childhoods all the way up to current day. One common theme I noticed was how miserable my mother looked in so many of those photos. What caused that look on her face? What demons was she fighting? What caused her to panic and obsessively worry about everything to the point that she sits around inventing things to worry about, become so bitter and angry to the point that she makes everyone around her miserable often to the point of physical symptoms? What caused all the constant strife and yelling?
When I was in Kindergarten there was one day where the parents were to come and visit the child’s classroom. That day my mom fell walking into the school and broke her arm in two places. It was a serious break. Our next door neighbor came to pick us up at school and took my mom to the hospital. In the car my mom was yelling and screaming. She taught baton twirling read more…

The DNA Test

By AstridBeeMom For Christmas I got myself a 23andMe DNA test. Some people wondered why. Most people who utilize these tests are extreme genealogy buffs or are in search of biological family. Because of my experiences working as a search angel in various different groups I have been able to develop a deep appreciation for tests such as these. Furthermore, a deep appreciation for the fact that these tests mean nothing unless more people like me, who are not adopted, submit our DNA.
Yes, I am a birthmother, but DNA will play no role in the life of the daughter I relinquished in regards to her quest to find me. She will never need to search. Her adoptive parents hold all the answers to my location. And if, for some reason, she is unable to obtain that information from them, she will only need to look to the courts in the state she was born in. My notarized signature is on file. She has permission to have her original birth certificate. The fact that read more…

Stop Shorstein Network – Open Adoption Fraud

By Susie I previously posted about the Shorstein Advocacy Group and the filing of a class-action lawsuit against them. I was recently contacted and asked to help spread the word that they hope to file the lawsuit this summer.If you were defrauded by the promise of open adoption in the state of Florida since 1990, please join this class-action lawsuit. Here is the info I received:We have updated our Facebook page and email address. We are under the gun to find a few more mothers so we can file this summer. PLEASE help in any way you can. THIS MAY BE THE ONLY opportunity we have to stop or at least decrease the number of coerced and fraudulent “open” adoptions in FL. It may also pave the way to unsealing records. ANY help is GREATLY appreciated! There is no cost to the moms to join.Reunitemoms@gmail.comhttps://www.facebook.com/stop.shorstein

Read at the Source: : Finding Christopher, Finding Myself

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10 Really Shocking Facts of Child Adoption

By Mirah Riben

Is it shocking that a “social worker will make sure that your entire home is baby-proofed before you bring [an adopted] baby home”?

Alison Caporimo thinks so.

Caporimo, who is fond of lists and has written them about staying safe while dating online, retro diners, and “17 Badass Ways Women Can Rock a Suit” now brings her Jill-of-all-trades approach to “17 Shocking Things Everyone Should Know About Adoption” — providing a slanted and overly simplistic view of a very complex, multi-faceted issue.

The senior lifestyle editor and craft book author, whose bio says that she is “in love with style, design, and all things handmade,” views adoption, as many do, through the lens of those seeking children. It is this perception of adoption that leads to the distortion of careful vetting of adoptive parents and adoptive homes in an effort to ensure the safety of children as having “an element of mistrust” that does not exist for those who are able to birth children naturally.

We cannot pre-screen parents who birth their children. Society does, however, judge those who are perceived as too young, or without sufficient material means to be unfit and encourages them read more…

A Happy Birthday Wish For Camden Stearns

By AstridBeeMom As the first birthday for Camden Stearns is fast approaching, there is still no resolution to this child’s fate. Camden’s life still hangs in limbo while Adoption by Gentle Care (AGC) continues to fight his mother, Carri Stearns, in regards to her child returning home with her where he belongs. It is important to note that unlike most other cases where a natural parent fights to have her rights to her child intact, against an adoption, Carri is not fighting any prospective adoptive parents. The prospective adoptive parents, at the beginning of this case, returned Camden to the AGC when they were made aware that Carri was coerced under duress to sign the termination of parental rights (TPR). They did the ethical thing and assumed that Camden would be returned to his mother because of this.
This assumption, on behalf of the prospective adoptive parents, is not far-fetched as what typically happens in cases such as these is the adoption agency rescinds the TPR and returns the child to the mother. Since agencies are supposed to work on behalf of the best interests of the child, the expectant mother/read more…

The Strings of Life (Re-Post)

By Susie This is a re-post that was originally published on June 14, 2012: The Strings of LifeI stumbled onto the writing of Dabeshim a couple of days ago. One of his poems caught me from the very first stanza. I again am amazed at how the words of someone adopted can be so meaningful to me as a mother of adoption loss. Below is the poem, interspersed with my own rambling thoughts brought to mind as I read the words. There once was a dayThe winds were cold, darkness creped as farAs the inside, It had its sayWe did as others wishedServing them on a golden dish.We knew no other way.Like marionettes we lived,Upon the Strings of Life.Giving no thought at all.The Florence Crittenton building was a big, old brick building. Dark. Cold. Always. Not the temperature, it was the atmosphere in that building… I did only as they wished. As society expected of me. I made sure to let them all know that I wasn’t “one of those girls”. I really was a good girl, not a crack-whore. I really did love my baby, I really only wanted the best for him ~ It wasn’t at read more…