• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.


cub the birth parent group

Fellow birth mother and researcher, Dr. Gail Hanssen Perry would like to know more about today’s betrayed open adoptions. She wants to compare today’s experiences with the findings of her doctoral research, “Extending Families: How Adoptive Parents Transition to Openness”, now 20 years old. This will not only enhances the CUB Retreat, but it could become part of a document CUB prepares to alert vulnerable pregnant couples to possible pitfalls. Gail and CUB Founder, Lee Campbell, have collaborated on a handout that includes a few questions for those who have been betrayed. I am happy to be able to make this into a online version for CUB and to help gather the information for them. If you are a Betrayed Birth Parent who was Promised More in Adoption than You Received, PLEASE Take the Survey! read more…

What are the Costs of Adoption? Is Adoption Trauma?

Avid adoption separation trauma

Separating mother and child causes varying degrees of lifelong trauma for both. If you are pregnant and considering adoption for your baby, please listen to the mothers of adoption loss and more importantly, the adoptees. Educate yourself of the effect adoption will have on both of you before it’s too late.
Anyone (including agencies) that will gain if your baby is adopted will NOT inform you read more…

Cannibalism in AdoptionLand

If anyone has a legitimate question and is willing to accept what I can share with them, then by all means I am more than willing to dispel any confusion or doubts. Anyone else, please get the fuck out of my way. I know who you are and I am aware now that you are no friend of mine, so pardon me if I don’t ask nicely twice and just push you aside;
I have work to do and you have already wasted way too much of my time. read more…

865 Pages of Transcripts to Bring Camden Home!

Help Bring Camden home form the bad ohio adoption agencyOne More Big  Fundraising Goal to Bring Camden Home

The Notice of Appeal has been filed in Carri’s case against Adoption by Gentle Care for the return of her baby son, Camden.

We had thought that the appeal could be done with certain portions of the original hearing transcripts, but alas, it has come to light that ALL the transcripts will be required. This means that more transcripts will have to be purchased. ( Why the courts change so much for printing out paper is beyond me, but it  is what it is and cannot be avoided. They tape the trials/hearings and then have to type them up.)

The finial cost estimate for what is needed is 179, 317, and 379 pages at $5.50 a page. I’ll save you the math; it’s $4,700.00 and  really should be ordered as soon as possible, like next week.

So, are we ready to make a miracle happen again? You help and support during this has been nothing short of amazing and only with YOU have we been able to keep this moving along.

What YOU can DO to Help Bring Camden Home

If you can, donations are seriously MOST appreciated. As much as it really sucks to be asking again, it must be done.

If you cannot, we understand, really, but sharing the link to the fundraiser on your own page or groups is super helpful. It DOES help as then others can see and perhaps help.

Inviting friends and family to this event also REALLY helps.  Then, they see the this and can help too.

Now we are also TRYING to get the media attention in this again.

There is a post of the basic facts here that is an open letter to the media with the basic facts of the case that you can use to link to.  ( http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/hey-media-folks-anyone-want-a-real-story-for-national-adoption-month/ )

IF you happen to have any personal media contacts; even things like my sister’s boyfriend works form NBC, then please consider sending them the link. With National Adoption month coming  up in November and the fact that we will have a gag order in place when the appeal goes to court officially, this is a good time for the media to get interested. Plus if just ONE bigger media outlet picks this up, THEN it stands to reaon that MORE donations will come in.

On that notes, if you are on TWITTER , TWEET THIS POST TO THE NEWS MEDIA:

Help #BringCamdenHome and tell this truthful tale before this agency hurts another baby  http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/hey-media-folks-anyone-want-a-real-story-for-national-adoption-month/ @TWITTER ACCOUNT NAME

Look up reporters on Twitter and  TWEET TO them with the above BEFORE their name as indicated.

OR you can also retweet posts on here: https://twitter.com/FauxClaud. Even a re-tweet can help spread the word and make the media folks take notice. They might have been busy when my tweet came through, but yours might be what gets to them!

If you are in other groups/ pages/ boards/ forums/ blogs etc that have ANYTHING to do with pregnancy, babies, parenting, reproductive justice, women’s rights, social ethics,  mother’s rights, etc; please consider posting about the story like this example on BlogHer that has had over 1000 reads in just a few days time. I don’t care if you copy and past the whole thing or write your own! But spread the word if you can!

It also really HELPS to have people interacting on the posts, so if you have a minute, please comment. It bumps up the posts, shows support and keeps it in the general public’s eyes.  Sharing and tweeting posts also keep them on the front pages, so click away!

There are stories here:


which has NO comments, and THIS one that is vicious, so if you want to get out some aggression, go for it:


( NO  Carri, do NOT go there!)

Also I should mention that if you have your own blog or website the fundraiser widget can be installed on you own site.

This is the code:

<object classid=”clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000″ width=”258″ height=”338″ title=”Click Here to donate!” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash”><param name=”movie” value=”//funds.gofundme.com/Widgetflex.swf” /><param name=”quality” value=”high” /><param name=”flashvars” value=”page=dqallc&template=11″ /><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent” /><embed allowScriptAccess=”always” src=”//funds.gofundme.com/Widgetflex.swf” quality=”high” flashVars=”page=dqallc&template=11″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” wmode=”transparent” width=”258″ height=”338″></embed></object>

And still, keep pushing the petition as well.

I know it’s a lot of marching orders and believe me, the efforts shared by all have NOT been missed and are GREATLY appreciated.

Again, I have to say that the community effort and support to bring Camden home has been incredible; but we all know why this means so much to all of us. It’s NOT just one baby. It’s NOT just one mother. This win is for us all – to fight a system that has hurt us all so much, to make an agency that  MUST be held accountable face the truth for their unethical actions. For other birth parents, it is the chance that we never had. For other adoptees, it is the ability to bring a child home and NOT have another child cut away from their family forever and even for adoptive parents, I know that YOU do not want to see that adoption can be this way and that THIS is not the adoption that you want for your children.

This agency has shown that they have disregarded the desires of a mother to care for her child, for a child to be in a stable home and of the original adoptive family who should be commended for doing the right thing and caring about the emotional impact of losing an loving family on Camden.  Everyone wants Camden home except Gentle Care who only wants to win at the expense of all others.

It’s not Adoption. It’s not Gentle. It’s not Care.
With your help, we can fight this and make it right.  I know we can. I believe in us all.

Thank you.

In truth,


Hey Media Folks- Anyone Want a REAL Story for National Adoption Month?

Not in the "Best Interest" of this Baby

With National Adoption Month coming up in November, I am sure your publication is preparing heartwarming tales to highlight adoption. I would like to tell you about a story that doesn’t fall under the normal feel good, but is instead, a complete fallacy of everything we want to celebrate about adoption. It is a story about corrupting and the abuses of power. It is a story about a mother in crisis having that vulnerability exploited, trusting the wrong people and then fighting a system that wants to shut her down. The world needs to know about such injustices happening in the name of adoption. This is not adoption. It is the forcible separation of a family based on a wrongly interpreted law and repeated illegal acts. read more…

Adoption Book Review: “Birth Mother” by Denise Emanuel Clemen

Denise Emanuel Clemen's memoir "Birth Mother"

What I love the most about Denise Emanuel Clemen’s memoir “Birth Mother” is that it is ONLY the pregnancy and immediate adoption experience that she tells. Just as the reader has so many unanswered questions and wonders, the birthmother is left always wondering about her child and the child is left wondering about the mother. It is that complete separation that makes this story so powerful. read more…

This is YOUR Appeal and I Thank You

Bringing Camden Home Together

I want to take a minute and talk about Bringing Camden Home today.

Now, I know that there are folks that just find even the remote possibility of  something as horrible, unjust and unethical actually happening this day and age to be so mind blowing that they Just. Cannot. Comprehend. that it is reality.  I get that. I really do. I think it’s very natural to shake our heads and go.. wait a minute. That just CAN’T be right. Why would an adoption agency DO this? Something else must be the case.

I have had people tell me that it’s “fishy” or “shady” or that there MUST be another side to the story. I get that. Again, I really do. I know that it is MUCH easier to believe that Carri is somehow making this all up or DID SOMETHING to deserve this happening. There MUST be lies, or at least mistruths, right? read more…

What Does Adoption By Gentle Care Have to Say About Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns?

Statements Made by Adoption by Gentle Care About Caroline (“Carri”) Stearns

This is a statement that Adoption by Gentle Care issued on their Facebook page on September 8th around 6:30 EST.

Now obviously, much of what is said here is wrong. But before we delve into the nitty-gritty of how they are again manipulating the events to serve them just as they have manipulated the law to serve themselves, I just want to point out one thing:

The fact that they HAD to issue to statement in itself is a very good thing.   More than anything they do NOT want people finding out the truth and by issuing a statement they might think they are quenching fears, but probably are causing more questions to be asked. Questions that they are NOT answering, but must have been asked too many times already, therefore leading to this statement. However, because they will  not / cannot answer honestly, more folks will be apt to look into this themselves. Lord knows if you tell someone that someone is saying horrible things, but don’t say what curiosity gets the best of most people. read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care; An Adoption Agency in Ohio Not so Gentle, Not so Caring

Why Won’t They Return this 3 Week Old Baby??

AGC a COlumbus Ohio Based Adoption Agency with a bad reputation On March 31st a baby boy was born outside Columbus, Ohio. A scheduled early C-section, there was no joy, no flowers, no balloons for the birth of this little guy, rather he was born into a perceived crisis, in panic, in shock and confusion. His existence was seen as a great rift that would destroy a family and cause other children harm; a 2014 version of Sophie’s Choice and adoption’s “Gentle Care” swooped in as the answer to was  thought of as a problem.

Of course, too soon the problem turned out to be the intended adoption, not the birth of this innocent baby.

His mother’s name is Carri. She isn’t and is a “typical birthmother“.

read more…

Updating on the Current UnEthical Adoption in Ohio

Adoption by Gentle Care Still Refusing to Do the Right Thing for this Baby!

Once again, all logic and justice is lost when adoption enters the picture.  This unethical fiasco continues with Ohio’s Adoption by Gentle Care trying to control a situation at the expense of all the parties involved. SO much for the “best interest” of anybody but them!

Hedging Their Bets While We Wait DNA Results

Risk analysis should never enter the conversation when a child’s life and well being is in the equation; but that is exactly what is happening here.   It seems that AGC is doing what so many other adoption agencies have done in the past, even with disastrous results, stall the process, waste time and watch a child’s life hang in limbo while they hope that Carri will give up a very mentally and emotionally exhausting fight for her motherhood. This time, they have bit off more than they might be able to chew.

read more…

The Crucifixion of Carri; How to Make her Less Than a Human Being Worthy of Compassion

Because This Is How the Game is Played; Let’s Dig the Dirt Up!

adoption by gentle care sends in the credibility trollI will admit that I am not at all surprised. I knew it was only a matter of time. I know how this game is played. See, in a contested adoption case, it’s not about the facts, it not about the truth, it’s not even about the law. Eventually it is all about public perception and the real crux of adopting; who is worthy of a the child being fought over.  I knew it was only a matter of time before Adoption by Gentle Care started playing.

read more…

When Newborns are Shuffled Around in Legal Shell Games

Adoption  Realities; Not “Gentle Care”

“Where is the baby?”

That’s the first question I am asked when I start talking about this sad situation in Ohio. It is followed up with, “Why don’t they just give the baby back?” as the second question. The third is often, “How CAN they DO that?”

To all these questions, I just shake my head and say, ” I don’t know.”

We actually cannot ascertain WHERE Camden is right now. Based on a communication I received  on Monday 5-6-14 from the original hopeful adoptive family’s attorney, we believe that they might have bowed out and the agency has placed him elsewhere.

read more…

And so it Begins: The Battle is On Over Baby Camden

A Mother in Ohio is Fighting to get her Newborn Back from an Adoption Agency

So this hit the local NBC News station in Columbus, Ohio today. I would have really liked it they had mentioned that Adoption by Gentle Care had been previously involved in another disputed adoption case: Grayson Vaughn, but  whatever. Meanwhile, they did get some things incorrect. Ignore the “allegedly”, “claims” and all that; they have to do that to cover their butts!

WCMH: News, Weather, and Sports for Columbus, Ohio

“The baby is living with another family”

read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care; Digging an Even Deeper Hole

Using Social Media to Put on the Spin on Clients’ Questions

Back in April, when I first came into contact with Carri and began writing about the pending revocation of Camden and Ohio’s Adoption by Gentle Care, one of the very first things Gentle Care did was unpublish their Facebook page.  The first post went live on 25th, and by that evening the page was down and AGC went silent. Obviously, they were unsure how they planned on handling the public pressure and questions that would come from maintaining a social media presence during such a difficult phrase in their agency’s reputation.

Two months later, I guess they either figured out some form of crisis social media policy, or perhaps someone told them that saying nothing makes them look guilty? In any case, they have returned to Facebook and the Adoption by Gentle Care Facebook page is back in business.

read more…

No Justice Today for Baby Camden

Not in the "Best Interest" of this Baby

Update on Adoption By Gentle Care And The Baby Camden Case

My Friends in AdoptionLand, I have a long awaited update for you on the status of Carri Sterns’ adoption  case in Ohio.

I am very saddened to have to say that  this afternoon, the judge granted Adoption by Gentle Care’s motion to dismiss the Writ  of Habeas Corpus in the Ohio Juvenile Court.

In other words, we lost in court. read more…