• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

Cannibalism in AdoptionLand

If anyone has a legitimate question and is willing to accept what I can share with them, then by all means I am more than willing to dispel any confusion or doubts. Anyone else, please get the fuck out of my way. I know who you are and I am aware now that you are no friend of mine, so pardon me if I don’t ask nicely twice and just push you aside;
I have work to do and you have already wasted way too much of my time. read more…

What are the Costs of Adoption? Is Adoption Trauma?

Avid adoption separation trauma

Separating mother and child causes varying degrees of lifelong trauma for both. If you are pregnant and considering adoption for your baby, please listen to the mothers of adoption loss and more importantly, the adoptees. Educate yourself of the effect adoption will have on both of you before it’s too late.
Anyone (including agencies) that will gain if your baby is adopted will NOT inform you read more…

Just Sitting with It; Not Fighting, Not Struggling, Not Suffering

hello darkness my old friend

This is my 27th year post relinquishment, so really, I know what to expect. I know what this feels like. I once wrote about this, comparing it to an old shroud, a mourning veil, a tired worn, threadbare sweater that I must wear until it falls off my bones. Hello darkness, my old friend. read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care; A History of Unethical Choices

AGC a COlumbus Ohio Based Adoption Agency with a bad reputation

I personally am rather tired of having to explain to people that Carri and Camden’s case is not an isolated incident, but rather only part and partial of a long history of poor choices made by a greedy and unethical agency who has made it their business model to use, and abuse or ignore when it suits them, the current Ohio adoption laws to their personal advantage. If we are not so easily able to dismiss “just that one experience,” then I think it is clear that for Adoption by Gentle Care, this is not their first unethical rodeo by any means. This is how they do the business of adoption. read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care Wins

demon award 2014 adoption by gentle care

The Pound Pup Legacy Annual Demons of Adoption Award

Upon a successful 2nd nomination and upon election within the Adoption community for rightfully pointed out the wrongdoings and condemned the practices Pound Pup Legacy hereby thus denounces the dubious honor of receiving the Eighth Annual Demons of Adoption Award in 2014 to:

Adoption by Gentle Care of Columbus, Ohio

Who shall now receive the most critical recognition in Adoption including the scorn, disgust, and public flogging pertaining hereto this most infamous recognition in the city of AdoptionLand, in the state of the Internet, on this tenth day of November in the year two thousand and fourteen. read more…

Talking with Darrick Rizzo of The Open Adoption about National Adoption Month

open adoption tv

Fantastic Adoption Interviews from theOpenAdoption.tv. Birth father and author Darrick Rizzo captures many attendees of the Adoption Initiative conference talking about Adoption for NAAM. Including me telling my Gotcha story and the hell the month of November. read more…

Ohio’s House Bill 307 Unethical and Ignorant of the Reality of the Tactics of Ohio Adoption Agencies

Ohio's House Bill 307 Unethical and Ignorant of the Reality of the Tactics of Ohio Adoption Agencies

You want to decrease abortions in Ohio, Mike Gonidakis? Good, then stop wasting your time being a mouth piece for the adoption industry and get behind bills that support a mother parenting her own child. Let’s help her have access to things like birth control so she can make choices proactively, or day care so she can support her children, or educational recourse so she can better herself. But stay out of the adoption debate, please. You have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the reality of how these laws are used in an adoption in Ohio. read more…

25 Open Adoption Questions to Consider

What should I consider before agreeing to enter into an open adoption?

The following questions are by no means exhaustive. In fact these are just a few considerations that might lead to a deeper evaluation of both the practical and philosophical ideas of how the biological family, adoptive family and the adoptee may be impacted by an open adoption.

This is not a “pro-adoption” post. Open adoption is highlighted by many adoption agencies and used as a coercive tool. It is often shown in a manner that evokes imagery of play dates in the park without addressing the concerns that will eventually arise. This list of questions is intended move beyond a surface understanding and provide a deeper understanding of possible difficulties. read more…

Has Adoption by Gentle Care Moved Camden Again to a Fourth Family?

Further Physiological Damage Heaped Upon this Medically Challenged Child in the Name of Adoption

EDITED on November 13, 2014 due to new information.
Oh, and another Cease and Desist letter. I love that C&D’s can confirm questions and get us on the right track.

Not Baby Camden, but a baby crying FOR CamdenI have no way of knowing for sure, of course. Sadly, this Ohio adoption agency‘s words,  throw around on their website,  stating “This is your baby and your adoption decision. Therefore, you are in full control of your adoption plan. This includes your choice of the adoptive family,” become nothing more than false advertising and lip service. At least,  that is the case when a mother or father dare’s try to revoke consent and fight the unethical adoption agency for their own child.  The point is, that Adoption by Gentle Care, of course, isn’t informing Carri about major decisions in Camden’s life such as how he is doing medically, nor whether or not they have moved him away from the foster family that he has spent almost 6 months with.  Like most things, we are left guessing, but there is a gut mother’s instincts that is saying so and I have to concur based on the clues. read more…

New York Times Reporter Interested in Talking to Birthmothers and Expectant Moms

The New York Times

I spent about 2 hours last week talking to Emily Brennan of the New York Times. She is looking to write a factual story about the birthmother of today. She was very nice, easy to talk to and understanding. As this piece is geared around a “modern” birth mothers; my own story and situation does not really apply. I cannot be a strong voice here. She is not looking to tell my story. She is looking to tell YOURS. read more…

The Desperate Antics of Adoption Agencies; Finders Fees for Birthmother Recruitment

a guardian angel adoptions llc in utah

A Guardian Angel Adoptions is making it known that they want previous clients to do their marketing for them to help them find at risk mothers. The $500 is a finder’s fee. Which in itself is pretty damn gross, but let’s think about this; It’s NOT just for a simple referral. Notice the words “when they have completed a successful adoption” meaning .. when your friend has signed the irrevocable relinquishment consent form for her baby THEN you get the $500. read more…

2014 National Adoption Awareness Month

November's national adoption awaness month is like a dark cloud on the horizon

National Adoption Awareness Month? It’s the curse of November gathering on the horizon of my life; the looming shadow that darkens my days of fall, ruining my Halloween, making me anxious. November follows October and onward into National Adoption Awareness Month and the time leading up to Max’s birth and my “Gotcha” days. read more…

865 Pages of Transcripts to Bring Camden Home!

Help Bring Camden home form the bad ohio adoption agencyOne More Big  Fundraising Goal to Bring Camden Home

The Notice of Appeal has been filed in Carri’s case against Adoption by Gentle Care for the return of her baby son, Camden.

We had thought that the appeal could be done with certain portions of the original hearing transcripts, but alas, it has come to light that ALL the transcripts will be required. This means that more transcripts will have to be purchased. ( Why the courts change so much for printing out paper is beyond me, but it  is what it is and cannot be avoided. They tape the trials/hearings and then have to type them up.)

The finial cost estimate for what is needed is 179, 317, and 379 pages at $5.50 a page. I’ll save you the math; it’s $4,700.00 and  really should be ordered as soon as possible, like next week.

So, are we ready to make a miracle happen again? You help and support during this has been nothing short of amazing and only with YOU have we been able to keep this moving along.

What YOU can DO to Help Bring Camden Home

If you can, donations are seriously MOST appreciated. As much as it really sucks to be asking again, it must be done.

If you cannot, we understand, really, but sharing the link to the fundraiser on your own page or groups is super helpful. It DOES help as then others can see and perhaps help.

Inviting friends and family to this event also REALLY helps.  Then, they see the this and can help too.

Now we are also TRYING to get the media attention in this again.

There is a post of the basic facts here that is an open letter to the media with the basic facts of the case that you can use to link to.  ( http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/hey-media-folks-anyone-want-a-real-story-for-national-adoption-month/ )

IF you happen to have any personal media contacts; even things like my sister’s boyfriend works form NBC, then please consider sending them the link. With National Adoption month coming  up in November and the fact that we will have a gag order in place when the appeal goes to court officially, this is a good time for the media to get interested. Plus if just ONE bigger media outlet picks this up, THEN it stands to reaon that MORE donations will come in.

On that notes, if you are on TWITTER , TWEET THIS POST TO THE NEWS MEDIA:

Help #BringCamdenHome and tell this truthful tale before this agency hurts another baby  http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/hey-media-folks-anyone-want-a-real-story-for-national-adoption-month/ @TWITTER ACCOUNT NAME

Look up reporters on Twitter and  TWEET TO them with the above BEFORE their name as indicated.

OR you can also retweet posts on here: https://twitter.com/FauxClaud. Even a re-tweet can help spread the word and make the media folks take notice. They might have been busy when my tweet came through, but yours might be what gets to them!

If you are in other groups/ pages/ boards/ forums/ blogs etc that have ANYTHING to do with pregnancy, babies, parenting, reproductive justice, women’s rights, social ethics,  mother’s rights, etc; please consider posting about the story like this example on BlogHer that has had over 1000 reads in just a few days time. I don’t care if you copy and past the whole thing or write your own! But spread the word if you can!

It also really HELPS to have people interacting on the posts, so if you have a minute, please comment. It bumps up the posts, shows support and keeps it in the general public’s eyes.  Sharing and tweeting posts also keep them on the front pages, so click away!

There are stories here:


which has NO comments, and THIS one that is vicious, so if you want to get out some aggression, go for it:


( NO  Carri, do NOT go there!)

Also I should mention that if you have your own blog or website the fundraiser widget can be installed on you own site.

This is the code:

<object classid=”clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000″ width=”258″ height=”338″ title=”Click Here to donate!” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash”><param name=”movie” value=”//funds.gofundme.com/Widgetflex.swf” /><param name=”quality” value=”high” /><param name=”flashvars” value=”page=dqallc&template=11″ /><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent” /><embed allowScriptAccess=”always” src=”//funds.gofundme.com/Widgetflex.swf” quality=”high” flashVars=”page=dqallc&template=11″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” wmode=”transparent” width=”258″ height=”338″></embed></object>

And still, keep pushing the petition as well.

I know it’s a lot of marching orders and believe me, the efforts shared by all have NOT been missed and are GREATLY appreciated.

Again, I have to say that the community effort and support to bring Camden home has been incredible; but we all know why this means so much to all of us. It’s NOT just one baby. It’s NOT just one mother. This win is for us all – to fight a system that has hurt us all so much, to make an agency that  MUST be held accountable face the truth for their unethical actions. For other birth parents, it is the chance that we never had. For other adoptees, it is the ability to bring a child home and NOT have another child cut away from their family forever and even for adoptive parents, I know that YOU do not want to see that adoption can be this way and that THIS is not the adoption that you want for your children.

This agency has shown that they have disregarded the desires of a mother to care for her child, for a child to be in a stable home and of the original adoptive family who should be commended for doing the right thing and caring about the emotional impact of losing an loving family on Camden.  Everyone wants Camden home except Gentle Care who only wants to win at the expense of all others.

It’s not Adoption. It’s not Gentle. It’s not Care.
With your help, we can fight this and make it right.  I know we can. I believe in us all.

Thank you.

In truth,


Hey Media Folks- Anyone Want a REAL Story for National Adoption Month?

Not in the "Best Interest" of this Baby

With National Adoption Month coming up in November, I am sure your publication is preparing heartwarming tales to highlight adoption. I would like to tell you about a story that doesn’t fall under the normal feel good, but is instead, a complete fallacy of everything we want to celebrate about adoption. It is a story about corrupting and the abuses of power. It is a story about a mother in crisis having that vulnerability exploited, trusting the wrong people and then fighting a system that wants to shut her down. The world needs to know about such injustices happening in the name of adoption. This is not adoption. It is the forcible separation of a family based on a wrongly interpreted law and repeated illegal acts. read more…


cub the birth parent group

Fellow birth mother and researcher, Dr. Gail Hanssen Perry would like to know more about today’s betrayed open adoptions. She wants to compare today’s experiences with the findings of her doctoral research, “Extending Families: How Adoptive Parents Transition to Openness”, now 20 years old. This will not only enhances the CUB Retreat, but it could become part of a document CUB prepares to alert vulnerable pregnant couples to possible pitfalls. Gail and CUB Founder, Lee Campbell, have collaborated on a handout that includes a few questions for those who have been betrayed. I am happy to be able to make this into a online version for CUB and to help gather the information for them. If you are a Betrayed Birth Parent who was Promised More in Adoption than You Received, PLEASE Take the Survey! read more…