Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

Family Preservation

By Mirah Riben If your neighbor lost his job a year after his wife died, and he had three small kids, would you “help” him by taking away his kids? If a family in your church or congregation’s house burnt down and they had no family to stay with, would you help them by adopting their infant child? Recently, Ronnie Stewart a Florida minister of the Refuge Church of New…

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Operation Matthew 6:25-34

By AstridBeeMom Welcome to one of the most coercive pre-adoptive stories you will ever read. Take a seat and prepare to look through a “story book” that defines coercion and duress in expectant mothers. I almost titled this post “Faces of Adoption Coercion: Level Infinity.” Meet Tuesday Laine Watson and her husband, Josh. Tuesday is very young, in her 20’s and is hoping to adopt a young woman’s baby when…


Five More Days

By AstridBeeMom 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. It’s been 5,364 days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5,983 days since you were born. You and Me Just. 5. More. Days. Unless the bottom drops out. Unless something happens. Dare…


Open Adoption and Playing God

By AstridBeeMom velvet bocephus Another birthday has come and gone. Each year, it feels like that baby, MY baby, becomes more of a stranger. I dreamed of her my entire childhood. I carried her for 41 weeks, labored with her for 36 hours, and held her tightly against my chest in our remaining 32 hours together. What does “Open” Adoption feel like for a mother, or more frequently what we’re…


“Nobody Should Ever Feel Like They’re a Mistake”

By Lori Holden Elijah Thomas, who just turned 24, was determined to find his birth father. In a sort of reverse Gotcha, he shares with us the story of his adoption reunion. Adoption is Never Totally Closed in Our Hearts. First off, I am no adoption expert. I don’t recommend what I did for everyone. Ultimately I think … Continue reading “Nobody Should Ever Feel Like They’re a Mistake” →…


Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows?

By Lori Holden With St Patrick’s Day upon us, I know this weekend is about all things Irish, but I want to share a Chinese proverb. Once there was a poor farmer. He was able to grow just enough to feed his family. One day his horse ran away. “BAD LUCK!” the neighbors cried. “Now you won’t be … Continue reading Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows? → The post…


Reunion Flashback

I wrote this some time ago as a submission to some contest some place. I have been holding on to it until today. It was ten years ago today that this happened. Last Hours of Cold She couldn’t find a freaking parking space to save her life. After all the meticulous planning and her careful timeline, she was going to be late because she couldn’t find any  visitor or public…


Dear Abby, We Need to Talk About Gotcha!

By Lori Holden Gayle Swift here, guesting in Lori’s space. She wasn’t ready to take on another adoption expert so soon after the last one, but seeing as how I have strong feelings about Gotcha, as well as ideas on a more attuned approach, I am happy to step in with my own advice. Dear Abby: Three Reasons … Continue reading Dear Abby, We Need to Talk About Gotcha! →…


Parenting Expert John Rosemond Wants to Give Open Adoption Advice

By Lori Holden But there are a few problems with that. First of all, he has no direct experience with open adoption, or even plain old adoption, as far as my sleuthing skills reveal. Second of all, his advice is terrible. Though he apparently has a big following, Jim Rosemond is new on my radar. I heard of … Continue reading Parenting Expert John Rosemond Wants to Give Open Adoption…