• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

What are the Costs of Adoption? Is Adoption Trauma?

Avid adoption separation trauma

Separating mother and child causes varying degrees of lifelong trauma for both. If you are pregnant and considering adoption for your baby, please listen to the mothers of adoption loss and more importantly, the adoptees. Educate yourself of the effect adoption will have on both of you before it’s too late.
Anyone (including agencies) that will gain if your baby is adopted will NOT inform you read more…

In the Sprit if the Holidays; Adoption by Gentle Care is a Grinch

A Lesson in Cause and Effect

The holiday season; time for family, love, giving, thankfulness, togetherness and random acts of generosity. That’s what we are taught, that is the spirit of Christmas.

A respectful request was made to the powers that be over at Adoption by Gentle Care; for the holidays, would they be so kind as to update Carri on Camden’s medical condition as she is , like any mother would be, greatly concerned about her ill child and would they consider a visit between Carri, the other children and Camden? read more…

That Last Night of Gothic Innocence

1987 2

Yup, I went out and partied till God knows when in the AM with all my Goth friends on the Saturday night, then went to NYC in the Sunday to be wined and dined by my much older/ boss/boyfriend/lover. The sponge failed and Max became. Looking at these pictures now, they have so much more significance. Of course, I didn’t know at the time, but inside me a tiny egg was ripening and getting ready to go forth. Now, I see the last night of my non-adoption affected existence. I see the very last vestige of the old me. read more…

Meanwhile Ohio Legislators Screw Over Fathers’ Rights

The Bill Hurts EVERYONE, but the Adoption Industry!

And yes, this bill is sneaky. The Father’s Rights groups in Ohio had NO idea this was happening. No other stakeholders have been asked. This bill is somehow being pushed through on behalf of the adoption industry as it benefits THEM. read more…

Flipping Learning- Shut Your Pie Hole

When Adoptees #FliptheScript

Yeah it might be hard sometimes.. for all the parents involved.. adoptive and birth parents…but the role I have taken for #FliptheScript is to just Re-post, re-tweet, re-share, but not redirect. I always remember, it’s not about me. It’s about the adoptee as it always should be. I’m just a parent doing the best I can to support the rights of my child…even though the voices of others. read more…

NYSCCC- the NYS Citizens’ Coalition for Children NY Conference 2015

NYSCCC- the NYS Citizens’ Coalition for Children NY

26th Annual Adoption Conference Uniting Families in Albany New York

WHEN: May 8-9, 2015
WHERE: Albany Marriott Hotel 189 Wolf Road Albany New York 12205 USA
WHAT: NYSCCC 26th Annual Conference
WHO: The NYS Citizens’ Coalition for Children
BONUS: I have been invited to present a birthparent perspective read more…

The Battle of Adoption Bills in Ohio

if you give a flying fig about the rights of natural parents and do not want carte blanche to be given to the already troublesome practices of Ohio’s adoption agencies, then Please.. ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN OHIO go find an Ohio senator or representative and tell then so! BOTH bills are BAD news! And while you are there and got their ear, mention that Baby Camden still is NOT home!

read more…

Censoring the Truth and Issuing Lies

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So I get this package in the mail. It comes certified and I have to sign for it, so I do. I already have received the hardcopy of the latest Cease and Desist, so it’s not that, plus it’s too heavy for just a C&D.  Without further thought, I open this package and truthfully, I am still rather confused. It’s recent legal docs issued by Adopting by Gentle Care in Carri’s case. It has no cover letter. Nothing that informs me why I am getting a copy, but it looks to have come from THEIR side though I don’t know the lawyer who sent it even by name. The whole things strikes me as amusing as they don’t WANT me to have access to the court documents, but then they send them? Really?  read more…

Just Sitting with It; Not Fighting, Not Struggling, Not Suffering

hello darkness my old friend

This is my 27th year post relinquishment, so really, I know what to expect. I know what this feels like. I once wrote about this, comparing it to an old shroud, a mourning veil, a tired worn, threadbare sweater that I must wear until it falls off my bones. Hello darkness, my old friend. read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care; A History of Unethical Choices

AGC a COlumbus Ohio Based Adoption Agency with a bad reputation

I personally am rather tired of having to explain to people that Carri and Camden’s case is not an isolated incident, but rather only part and partial of a long history of poor choices made by a greedy and unethical agency who has made it their business model to use, and abuse or ignore when it suits them, the current Ohio adoption laws to their personal advantage. If we are not so easily able to dismiss “just that one experience,” then I think it is clear that for Adoption by Gentle Care, this is not their first unethical rodeo by any means. This is how they do the business of adoption. read more…

Adoption by Gentle Care Wins

demon award 2014 adoption by gentle care

The Pound Pup Legacy Annual Demons of Adoption Award

Upon a successful 2nd nomination and upon election within the Adoption community for rightfully pointed out the wrongdoings and condemned the practices Pound Pup Legacy hereby thus denounces the dubious honor of receiving the Eighth Annual Demons of Adoption Award in 2014 to:

Adoption by Gentle Care of Columbus, Ohio

Who shall now receive the most critical recognition in Adoption including the scorn, disgust, and public flogging pertaining hereto this most infamous recognition in the city of AdoptionLand, in the state of the Internet, on this tenth day of November in the year two thousand and fourteen. read more…

Talking with Darrick Rizzo of The Open Adoption about National Adoption Month

open adoption tv

Fantastic Adoption Interviews from theOpenAdoption.tv. Birth father and author Darrick Rizzo captures many attendees of the Adoption Initiative conference talking about Adoption for NAAM. Including me telling my Gotcha story and the hell the month of November. read more…

Ohio’s House Bill 307 Unethical and Ignorant of the Reality of the Tactics of Ohio Adoption Agencies

Ohio's House Bill 307 Unethical and Ignorant of the Reality of the Tactics of Ohio Adoption Agencies

You want to decrease abortions in Ohio, Mike Gonidakis? Good, then stop wasting your time being a mouth piece for the adoption industry and get behind bills that support a mother parenting her own child. Let’s help her have access to things like birth control so she can make choices proactively, or day care so she can support her children, or educational recourse so she can better herself. But stay out of the adoption debate, please. You have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the reality of how these laws are used in an adoption in Ohio. read more…

25 Open Adoption Questions to Consider

What should I consider before agreeing to enter into an open adoption?

The following questions are by no means exhaustive. In fact these are just a few considerations that might lead to a deeper evaluation of both the practical and philosophical ideas of how the biological family, adoptive family and the adoptee may be impacted by an open adoption.

This is not a “pro-adoption” post. Open adoption is highlighted by many adoption agencies and used as a coercive tool. It is often shown in a manner that evokes imagery of play dates in the park without addressing the concerns that will eventually arise. This list of questions is intended move beyond a surface understanding and provide a deeper understanding of possible difficulties. read more…