Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

Family Preservation

By Mirah Riben If your neighbor lost his job a year after his wife died, and he had three small kids, would you “help” him by taking away his kids? If a family in your church or congregation’s house burnt down and they had no family to stay with, would you help them by adopting their infant child? Recently, Ronnie Stewart a Florida minister of the Refuge Church of New…

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Top Ten

By Lori Holden Want a peek under my hood? I thought I’d dig into my stats and reveal my top ten posts of the past 10 years. Today this blog turns 10. On May 11, 2007, I published my first post — 1099 posts ago. In celebration and before we get to the countdown, here’s an earworm for … Continue reading Top Ten → The post Top Ten appeared first…



The Promise

By AstridBeeMom I told myself I wouldn’t cry. I didn’t want to scare her. I didn’t want her to think this stranger was emotionally unstable. Then I worried if I didn’t let myself cry she’d think maybe I was emotionally inept. I changed my shirt 3 times. I was about to change it a fourth time when I decided that nothing would be good enough so I may as well…


Adoption and the College Application Process

By Lori Holden I haven’t had reason to think much about adoption and college applications — yet — but an article in AdoptionToday magazine by college consultant and adoptive mother Debbie Schwartz made me think a little bit ahead. Evan struggled as he decided how to respond to the section regarding ethnicity and race. For those students who … Continue reading Adoption and the College Application Process → The post…


Operation Matthew 6:25-34

By AstridBeeMom Welcome to one of the most coercive pre-adoptive stories you will ever read. Take a seat and prepare to look through a “story book” that defines coercion and duress in expectant mothers. I almost titled this post “Faces of Adoption Coercion: Level Infinity.” Meet Tuesday Laine Watson and her husband, Josh. Tuesday is very young, in her 20’s and is hoping to adopt a young woman’s baby when…


Five More Days

By AstridBeeMom 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. It’s been 5,364 days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5 more days. 5,983 days since you were born. You and Me Just. 5. More. Days. Unless the bottom drops out. Unless something happens. Dare…


Open Adoption and Playing God

By AstridBeeMom velvet bocephus Another birthday has come and gone. Each year, it feels like that baby, MY baby, becomes more of a stranger. I dreamed of her my entire childhood. I carried her for 41 weeks, labored with her for 36 hours, and held her tightly against my chest in our remaining 32 hours together. What does “Open” Adoption feel like for a mother, or more frequently what we’re…


“Nobody Should Ever Feel Like They’re a Mistake”

By Lori Holden Elijah Thomas, who just turned 24, was determined to find his birth father. In a sort of reverse Gotcha, he shares with us the story of his adoption reunion. Adoption is Never Totally Closed in Our Hearts. First off, I am no adoption expert. I don’t recommend what I did for everyone. Ultimately I think … Continue reading “Nobody Should Ever Feel Like They’re a Mistake” →…