• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

More Blogs from Other Birthmothers Like Me

More Voices and Stories from Birthmothers

However outdated, and even, I know, with some of these voices, these beacons of truth, completed or on hold or just sitting silent for a spell; this list of blogs from mothers, whatever you wish to call us: Birthmothers, firstmothers, biomoms, or CWBMs …is worth a good read.

Understand the Truth about Adoption Relinquishment?

We’ll tell you our truth as we lived as we continue to live separated from our children.

Just read our birthmother blogs.

The Blogger feed below is from a collection of Birthmother blogs written from throughout the adoption community. I keep them on Friendfeed and then create the widget used below. All are welcome to use the code and add to your own blog or website. This way you get the most recent blog post form birthmothers all in one place.

Feel free to email me for the codes at fixadoption at gmail.com

You can also subscribe to the feeds in one easy step and get all the Birthmother Blogs in your email box!

Enter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner

More Birthmother Blogs

Below is a list of Birthmother Blogs. Some might not have been updated for sometime, but that doesn’t mean that they stories are any less valid. If you would like to add your Birthmother Blog to the list, please email me or add your URL in the comment below.

Please let me know if you would like to be added to the list. An email is good, but a comment here is better!

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About admin

Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.
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12 Responses to More Blogs from Other Birthmothers Like Me

  1. awareness says:

    this was a great resource to be able to read and relate to others who have been through the relinquishment of their first born baby. i would love to be included in this list to help others. being a first mother myself it is so helpful when you read others explain feelings that only first mothers experience.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I am a birthmother who gave birth in 1986 to a daughter, the birthdad wanted nothing to do with me and my parents were ashamed and forced me to give up my child. It was a private adoption. I was found in 2004 and my daughter was raised and still lived in the same zip code as i. I had no idea. After we met she was like part of the family and it was great for the first 3 years and then she became pregnant and has avoided me for 3 years now. I feel she is punishing me and not letting me know her daughter my only granddaughter. I found out earlier this year I am unable to have children. Which makes this even more difficult. However, she is in contact with the birthdad which drives me crazy. I am almost at the point of no return with a relationship with her. I have finally accepted who I am and that is just a person who gave birth and life to a child that wants nothing to do with me. I will never know what it is like to be a mother or grandmother. Her adoptive parents were not supportive at all and gave her guilt throughout the whole reunion. All I can do is move on with my life and hope I am not so bitter if she returns that I dont turn her away.

  3. Carlynne says:

    Thanks for the list, there are many there I haven’t seen yet. Could you add mine to the list too?

    http://www.oneoptionnochoice.blogspot.com

  4. Debi says:

    Claud your resource-ability…if that is a word…amazes me…keep it going lady.

  5. Joy says:

    This is a really great site, and I hope you are able to achieve many of your goals.. if not all of them. I relinquished my son to adoption in 1974. We reunited briefly but he has been in pullback for some time now. I understand anonymous’s post above. Somehow some of us picture reunion as something of a hallmark card movie and when pullback happens it is devastating. I suspect much of the unresolved grief of the original surrender hits us full force when we have a child leave our lives for a second or third time.

    I’m thirty six years into this and I wish I could say it gets better, for me .. not so much.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I hate the damn fact that I had to lose to make another woman whole. Its just not fair

  7. Claud…You so rock lady!!! Keep on, YOU ARE making a difference. I have learned sooo much from you…thanks doll!

  8. Pingback: Thank God! Marcie Cheney Told Me What I was Doing Wrong! | Musings of the Lame

  9. Leah says:

    I am a birthmother as well with a blog. http://www.thegracebond.com

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