• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

Blogs Written by Adoptees

Want to Learn About Adoption?

 

Every voice of every adoptee blog here is speaking for the thousands of adoptees who are still children and not have found their voices, yet. Yes, every adoption experience is individual and different, but the range of human emotion knows no bounds.

Read, learn.

These most gifted of writers open up their hearts and souls so that you might understand.

Listen to the Adoptees

Read the Adoptee Blogs for the “best interest of the children”

These are blogs written from older adoptees,and younger adoptees, domestic adoptions, international adoptions, adoptees in reunions, angry adoptees, grateful adoptees, abused adoptees, adoptees who love their birthparents, adoptees that hate their birthparents, adoptees who love their adoptive families and adoptees that don’t. There are adoptees who fight for adoptee rights and adoptees that don’t.

Doesn’t matter. Just read.

Subscribe to the Adoptee Blogs lists:

I have taken the collections of the Adoptee blogs lists (two full lists) and have them as feeds that you can subscribe to. Just add your email address to BOTH lists (or you only get half!)

Enter your email address for Adoptee Blogs ONE:Delivered by FeedBurner
Enter your email address for Adoptee Blogs TWO:Delivered by FeedBurner

The adoptee blog feeds above are from the adoptee blogs written from throughout the adoption community. I keep them on Friendfeed  and have to have two lists because there are THAT many adoptee blogs! All are welcome to use the code and add to your own blogs or website. This way you get the most recent blog post from adoptees all in one place. Feel free to email me for the codes at fixadoption at gmail.com.

 

 

Adoptee Blogs

Can only read JUST one?? Here it is:  Lost Daughters

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About admin

Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.
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18 Responses to Blogs Written by Adoptees

  1. Anonymous says:

    I would like to say that as an adoptee who found out when I was 21 because my selfish sperm donor decided I should know. Well I didn’t. I wish I didn’t know. He walked away like a scumbag and someone else raised me and took time out that he didn’t have to just to be my dad. I am now 28 and my dad is who raised me and made me who I am today. My Sperm donor that gave me away at 5 is just that a sperm donor. So I think that Peter Carucci is doing what he should to keep people like me protected. My SD didn’t not find me through the State but on his own. I feel nothing for him. He should have just left me alone.

  2. FauxClaud says:

    I’m not going to try to tell you that you shouldn’t be angry or have a right to your feelings or try to defend what you biological father did or did not do.
    I can tell you that I find it sad that you did not know the truth the whole time and you had to be told at age 21. THAT would make me angry as heck. I can’t help but wonder if maybe some of the anger you feel towards bio dad isn’t misplaced anger in general? I’m betting that even suggesting that will get you angry at me, but it might be worth thinking about.

    I am assuming this is a step dad / real father situation and your mom was constant? My husband was in he same boat as that and found out at age 17, but he was never leaglly adopteed by his step after, they just lied from the get go and put the step dads name on the OBC. I know he felt betrayed by his whole family because they all knew.

    The thing is.. it might not have been so bad and made you as angry if you had always known. And that what Mr. Carucci and the old NYS laws are trying to do. Honestly, whther you like the guy or not, it’s YOUR truth and you had a RIGHT to know. You can still choose who in your heart is Daddy to you. And you can still choose who you have a realtionship with. Does Peter Carucci know you? Did he know this would work out for you or not? Did he ask? No, he doesn’t even choose to know the truth about the laws!

    What you cannot change is your medical background. And someday, you might need to find your biological father for that alone. If you ever found yourself in a situation where you have a dying child who needs a bone marrow transplant, you might change the way you are thinking. Or if you find that you have breast cancer and your medical insurance refuses to test you to see if your daughters carry the gene, then it might be better to know the real truth.
    The fact is you can’t change the truth no matter what we would like. Your Dad is not biologically realted to you no matter how much you might love him. You carry another man’s genes. No one has or had the right to alter your truth.

  3. Von says:

    Please add my blog ‘One Was Von’ to this list thanks.

  4. Christina says:

    Hi Claud..can you add my blog too?

    Title: Out of the Fog

    URL: http://peaceofcricket.blogspot.com

    Thanks!

  5. FauxClaud says:

    WP, you are listed and in the feed! Blog on sister!

  6. I am an adult adoptee whose parents were honest with me from the get go. I reunited with my birth family at age 25. I am also an adoptive mother to 6 children and 3 embryos. One of which became our precious 8th child! Feel free to add my blog to your roll. http://www.handsheartsquiverfull.com

  7. Great Blog! My partner Carol found out in her late 40’s from a cousin that she was adopted. She is now 52 and meeting her mother for the first time in June. She has started her blog – for healing of course – but she is such a terrific writer I thought you might like to list her blog as well. She will be expanding it to include resources for others. It’s her intention to strike a balance between her emotional journey and providing help and resources for others as they move along their journey as well. Her blog is Adoptee for Life located at: http://adoptee4life.com. Thank you. Margie

  8. Pingback: A Tale of an AdoptionLand Battle: Who is the Real Mother? | Musings of the Lame

  9. Pingback: What to do About Websites like AmericaAdopts and CandadAdopts? | Musings of the Lame

  10. Jill Methvin says:

    Adoption Trail – 4 Generations. I am one of 4 generations of adopted persons. My paternal grandmother, myself, 5 of my children, and 2 grandchildren. Please add me to your list of blogs. http://www.adoptiontrail.com. Thank you. Jill

  11. Pingback: To the Parents Who Just Found Out Their Daughter is Pregnant | Musings of the Lame

  12. Mark says:

    I am having a lot of issues about my adoption recently.
    Is there someone (counselor,e.g.) that can help me resolve them?
    My daughter turned 23 recently, and I am acutely aware that she is likely the only “blood” I will ever know in my life.
    This, of course, is not the biggest issue, but it brought up a lot of old things that I thought I had dealt with, but now come flooding into my consciousness – some violent and vengeful.
    i do not know how to address these things.

    • adminadmin says:

      There ARE therapists that do handle adoption issues, BUT too many folks do report that MANY therapists are just clueless. Unfortunately, the ‘adoption issues” covered in standard training are nil; not a course offered in post graduate studies, not a specialty, not a book recommendation, not even a CHAPTER in a book… and from this in training, barley even a mention that adoption creates issues. On top of that. IF any adoption is covered it is usually form the adoptees or the adoptive parents side.. almost NEVER a birth parents.. however there ARE a few in the country who ARE also birth parents themselves and therefore, know their stuff.
      It seems to be helpful, as there are few adoption specialists for birth parents, to look into a therapist who focus on grief and loss counselling.
      Form my own observations of people; I think your feelings are probably well within the spectrum of normal. It is VERY common for our feelings of anger, loss and sadness to grow over time because what we lost has grown over time. Depending on how you felt at the time, you lost a “baby”, but now, it’s not “just a baby” but her entire childhood; the first steps, words, day of school, etc. And maybe even back in the day, we assume that we can move on, there can be more children, and for you, that was not that case. On top of that, our brains have a way of letting us feel and process stuff when it is “safe” meaning you are at a point in your life now where subconsciously, you can deal with it.. even as it is horrible ans sucky. And why should you NOT feel vengeful and angry? THAT”S a normal reaction to someone, or in this case, the adoption industry, taking what should have been yours.. your daughter. Thinking violent thoughts is way different form acting on them.. so feel them. There is nothing wrong at all there..

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