NY Times Interview Request

I spent about 2 hours last week talking to Emily Brennan of the New York Times. She is looking to write a  factual story about the birthmother of today, who she is, what causes her to relinquish, how the issue of financials play in to the adoption “choice“.

After discussion the lack of true numbers and statistics in  tracking adoptions and the lack of true informed choice in regard to the agencies not disclosing the real risks to both the relinquishing mother and the child among  many other relevant and important aspects of adoption practices.  I was also happy to send her “Birthmother, Good Mother” which is so eye opening to the adoption industry truths and motivations. Of course there was NO way that we could cover all the coercive and unethical adoption practices on this list, but I tried!

• Understating the Use of Gaslighting Manipulation on Birthmothers
• Lack of Informed Consent About All 29 of These Adoption Issues
• Failure to Truly Prepare for Birthmother Grief
• Lack of Adequate Pre Birth Nonbiased Adoption Counseling
• Use of Coercive “Positive Adoption Language”
• Believing the “Open Adoption” Fixes All
• Example of Pre Birth Matching in Adoption Risks
• Paying Birthmother Expenses
• The Common Adoption Practice of the “Unknown Father”
• Ignoring the Risks of Secondary Infertility and Failure to Disclose
• Increased risk of Suicide for Adoptees
• Failure to Disclose Truth of Complicated Grief in Birthmothers
• Awareness about Genetic Sexual Attraction
• Blatant Disregard for the “Primal Wound”
• Assuming the Other Option Would Be Abortion
• False Outcomes Projected on Adoptees; Feelings of Abandonment
• Defending Same Sex Adoption as a Gay Rights Issue
• Hiding Being the Non Profit Adoption Agency Myth
• Fundraising to Adopt
• Parental Pressure to Force Their Daughters to Relinquish
• A World of its Own; Not a Contract, a Relinquishment Consent
• Non Disclosure of True Motives; 13 Billion Dollar Industry
• Using Previous Birthmothers for Marketing and Offering Cash Finder’s Fees

One of the other issues I made sure to bring up was the issue of the “new birthmother.”

The idea was originally to follow a mom considering during the journey while supporting the story with other facts. And while I do admit that this is very enjoyable to readers and provides many warm and fuzzy “strong-selfless-brave comments”; the issue that many a birthmother cannot accurately reflect upon the full impact of adoption until she is more than a few years past birth.  So, there has been that seed planted.

Please Add Your Voice; Talk to The New York Times

Of course, there are all too many of us who have come to the heard realization of the true impacts of adoption within the first five years.  As this piece is geared around a “modern” birth mothers; my own story and situation does not really apply. I cannot be a strong voice here. She is not looking to tell my story.  She is looking  to tell YOURS. I can only hope that those who have more recently placed will be willing to speak to Emily. She was very nice, easy to talk to and understanding. In addition, Emily has already helped us in the adoption community with this NYT piece from June on OBC access and Adoptee Rights.

Since this was first posted in November, I know MANY of us have taken the time to share your stories and experiences. For this I do thank you. Because of this I do think we can feel somewhat secure that Emily has a good grasp of the reality of Life as a birthmother post relinquishment. But, since it is the media, despite some other possible directions, the editors do want a pregnant mother or two to be the focus.  I do not believe it will be a obvious warm and fuzzy how adoption is wonderful message, but a deeper look at the circumstance, particular the financial  reasons that a mother feels she must be separated form her child. At least that is what I hope will be the final question a reader might ask. I might be wrong, but I have hope.

So with that, I  am sharing the interview request to the adoption community for her:

For a New York Times article I’m writing about on adoption, I am interested in speaking to pregnant women who are considering adoption for their child. I’m open to speaking to women at any level of consideration, from those who are already in touch with an agency to those who are just now giving it a thought. Most of these interviews would be for background, and I’d be happy to explain specifics of the article before we conduct the interview. If you’re open to speaking to me, please feel free to e-mail me at emily.brennan@nytimes.com. Many Thanks!