The Adoption Community

Adoptionland- we have each otherActivism and Support; The Adoption Community Call to Arms

Adoption can be a very isolating experience. The rise of the internet has been an incredible tool which allows people to find those on a similar journey and can offer all sorts of support and validation. Because of this the adoption community has grown in leaps and bounds over the last few years. No longer are we all alone in our feelings and confusion, there is always someone out there who cares.

The Online Adoption Community; Working Together

Please consider joining the Adoption Army.

The Adoption Army harnesses the power of numbers so that we can work together on various Calls to Arms. Click on the link above to learn more! You can also brose the various posts below that have calls to action for activism within adoption.

Adoption Blogs

There are many many adoption blogs! Adoption is not just one person’s story or one person’s truth. We all have voices and unique perspectives on the experiences.  When I started blogging, there was just a handful of us in the small adoption blogosphere, now, I am thrilled that there are so very many. I have separate lists for birthmother blogs, adoptee blogs, adoptive parent blogs, and other adoption issues. I also try to keep them updates via feed lists so you can find the latest adoption blog posts. The RSS lists can be easily embedded on your own site, so if you would like to support the Online Adoption Community, please send me and email and let me know and I will send you the codes.

If you would like to be included on the lists, send me an email with your URL and Feed address and which list you best fit in!

Adoption Websites for Online Adoption Information

Again, it’s a big list of adoption related links.  If you would like to be included on the list, send me an email with your organizations URL. I reserve the right to decide if you fit on the Musings of the Lame lists and all requests are not guaranteed.

Other Happenings in the Adoption Community

Please take a minute and check out Adoption Events for Conferences, Meet-ups and  in person meetings. Writing submissions and calls for presentations are also included there.

Keep up on current events in Adoption News. Join in  with The Adoption Lists.

I also like to highlight various happenings within the adoption community, so if you, as an adoption community member or blogger have something to add or promote, please let me know!

Yes,  VSA Partners  Kleenex ® And Adoption Go Together!

A Case of Kleenex Tissues

So I kind of LOVE this idea that PSA Agency has, but wow I would so love to see it expanded on. It could be literally amazing. Of course, here I go dreaming again, but imagine if Kleenex did something like focusing on adoptees searching and were able to tied that in with little PSA’s about the fight for Adoptee Rights in this country? Especially now that there has been successful legislation passed on quite a few states and we have all the pending legislation in a good handful of states in 2015. I could see a final product that might resemble these trailers for Jean Strauss adoption films. read more…

The Ultimate Identity Theft

By Laura Marie Scoggins
On March 25, 2015, I mailed the application for my Ohio original birth certificate. Just five days after opening day.

Finally, on April 20 I received an envelope in the mail from the State of Ohio, Department of Health. The envelope contained a piece of my identity that has been behind lock and key for almost 50 years.
How do you even describe what it feels like for a part of yourself to be held captive for so long?
Based on the trail of lies and missing pieces uncovered when conducting my search I already knew deep in the pit of my stomach that the envelope I was about to open contained falsified information.
Catholic Charities in Evansville, Indiana sent my mother to St. Joseph’s Infant and Maternity Home in Cincinnati, Ohio. They gave her the alias name Karen Scott. I already knew the name Karen Scott was on the Ohio Birth Index, so I assumed it would also be on my OBC. I was hoping against all odds that I was wrong….but, I knew.
A nauseous feeling came over me as a held the envelope in my hand. read more…

Adoptee Access to Birth Certificates Protects Their Parents’ Privacy

By Mirah Riben As the nation watches the Indiana battle between religious freedom and discrimination against same sex couples, there is another, little known civil rights battle playing out in the Hoosier state (and elsewhere in the U.S.): Adopted citizens are fighting for equality.
Adoptees’ right to access their own original birth certificates is being pitted against the alleged rights of their mothers. However, granting adopted citizens equal access will, in fact, keep the parents who “begat” them safer from exposure than keeping the records sealed. One of dozens of desperate adoptee Facebook postings
Despite the media using language that says the issue involves opening adoption “records,” it does not. What adoptees in Indiana, and many other states (see details below), are seeking is equal protection under the law in regards to access to their own authentic, original birth certificate, a vital record denied only to adopted citizens and no others. This would restore rights that have only been blocked in most states since the ’40s, and in Alaska and Kansas access has never been denied.
Recently, Ohio and Montana is about to become the 18th and 19th states to allow adopted adults access — read more…

The Dark Place- PART 1 – Down The Rabbit Hole

By AstridBeeMom AstridBeeMom:Yes, this. Totally this.
Originally posted on Adoption: Second Generation Birthmom:

*This is Part 1 of a 3 Part post. *


Adoption, and the range of emotions encompassing the word and experience can be difficult to write on. It means so many things to so many people. My experience, for the most part, has been challenging to put it mildly. Ever since the day I signed those papers, I have struggled. I have struggled to trust, I have struggled to believe and have faith, and I have struggled at times, to live, when all I wished for was an end to the ever present pain of birthmotherhood.

When an expectant mother signs a contract with a prospective adoptive couple to have an open adoption, the parties involved become an extended family of sorts. At least this is what a new birthmother is lead to believe. She goes home with empty arms and a heart…
View original 1,767 more wordsFiled under: Uncategorized

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Paperback Writer

By Lori Holden Brief announcement After two years available only in hardcover and e-book formats, my publisher, Rowman & Littlefield, is releasing The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption in paperback in a few weeks. This means two things. First, the book will be available at a paperback price — woo-hoo! If you pre-order today, Amazon will make sure … Continue reading Paperback Writer →
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Statements Made By Adoptive And Hopeful Adoptive Parents – More Education Is Still Needed

By AstridBeeMom “As an adoptive mom, I honestly think that there is nothing worse that one mother can do to another mother than withholding promised contact with a child.”
As a member of the adoption community I come across many comments from adoptive parents through various outlets on the Internet. My blog has always focused on the unethical side of adoption as that is what needs addressing. Over the past several months I have been collecting statements made by adoptive parents online and wasn’t sure what I was going to do with them. When I decided to start compiling these statements, as I have run into so many horrid ones, I started to run across adoptive parents that blew me away, and not in the negative way you may be thinking. Sadly, the ignorant, cruel, and selfish statements no longer surprise me. They still enrage me but they don’t surprise me. It is sad that I am surprised by statements that are the opposite of the ignorant ones. However, to be well-rounded, I needed to get a platform for both.
The opening statement of read more…

I Don’t Look So Good in Huffy (Found Out the Hard Way)

By Lori Holden It’s first period and I’m teaching high schoolers. The end of class is near and I’m starting to worry if each small group is going to get a chance to present what they’ve been working on. There’s a commotion in the hallway. An entire class of middle schoolers, many of whom I teach on a … Continue reading I Don’t Look So Good in Huffy (Found Out the Hard Way) →
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A Comparison in Adoption – The United States Vs. Europe

By AstridBeeMom While all countries differ in political climates and cultures, the United States can be lumped into a category with other countries that we can generalize as “civilized.” Countries such as Canada, France, Germany, Australia, Ireland and others would all fit into this category as we have similar ethics and cultures in a broad sense of the word. Since domestic infant adoption has been seen as something that is necessary to “save” babies from a life of poverty and no opportunities, thousands of babies, each year, in the United States, are relinquished to adoption from perfectly capable mothers. I was wondering why the babies in this country needed to be “saved” and decided to take a look at other countries, like ours, to see if the same theories and ethics applied, in regards to domestic infant adoption. Certainly, because we are all human beings, the same situations of what we consider a “crisis pregnancy” would exist in other countries. How do other countries handle crisis pregnancies? In America, the solution seems to be adoption, at all times. That is what is encouraged. That is what is socially acceptable as the “selfless and right” thing to do.
read more…

Just Get Over It: The Narcissistic Adoptive Mom

By Laura Marie Scoggins

One of the best things that has come out of open records legislation is the connections and community of adoptees. Adoptees are only truly understood by each other, and most of us live our lives without other adoptees to express what life adopted is like. In addition to reunions unfolding each day with birth families the biggest reunion of all just might be OUR reunion in the universal adoptee family. I’m not sure what we would do without each other, and I don’t know how I survived life without them for so long.

These fellow adoptees have validated all of my feelings. They have just expressed everything I could possibly say. This is so my story. My heart is breaking for them right now. I know what this feels like. It’s sooo crazy how much alike we all are. Similar relationships with our adopted parents (especially the bad ones with our adopted moms), their reaction to our reunion (even when they said they were supportive). The common abusive, narcissistic mom stories running throughout this community has left me stunned and at the same time relieved that I’m not the only one.

I think back read more…

Sibling Grief In Adoption

By AstridBeeMom “I never know what to say when someone asks me how many brothers or sisters I have.”
This came out of my 12-year-old’s mouth while I was driving the other day. There was no warning for a statement such as this. No conversation that I can think of that brought it on. We were listening to the radio and she just blurted it out. It caught me off guard and I wasn’t really sure what to say. I have tried my best to not shroud in secrecy that her father and I relinquished the daughter that came before her. I would never want to give any of my children the impression that IKL is someone we should be ashamed of or someone who should be kept secret. To do so would deny her and denying her would be to deny our love for her. Regardless of this, for a child, growing up with a sister who has been lost to adoption, challenges unique to these parented children are most definitely present. She is not ashamed of her sister and would love for nothing more than read more…

It’s Summer O’Clock Somewhere

By Lori Holden Spring is still a newborn bald gulping baby bird in the northern hemisphere, but here in Denver we’ve had temperatures in the 70s so I’m prematurely ready to announce Lori’s Summer Drink of 2015. I discovered this concoction in February when Andy came through town and I met her for dinner. So for me this … Continue reading It’s Summer O’Clock Somewhere →
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search engine spiders

So this is a follow up for those who attended my SEO workshop at the American Adoption Congress Conference:
“While the internet has been an amazing tool to bring the adoption community together, there are basic best practices to utilized to really amplify our voices and reach a wider audience. Whether blogging, sharing or tweeting, knowing what Google wants and how to use SEO can benefit us all.” read more…

Repeat After Me

By Cassi Okay, sit back, get comfortable, clear your throat and repeat after me . . . The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie!Let’s say it one more time . . . The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie!I have yet, in the many years I’ve been a part of the fight for Adoptee Rights and Adoption Reform, come across a First (Birth) Mom who was promised privacy. And I have never seen a single piece of legal paper guaranteeing such a thing.If you are a First Mom who claims you were promised privacy, you are either lying or were lied to. It is just that simple.To carry out a promise of privacy for First Moms it would mean our children’s original birth certificates would have to be sealed the moment we put pen to paper and sign the relinquishment papers. It would be based on our action of giving up our rights and nothing else.But, not only does that not happen, but there is not a SINGLE law in the United States even allowing for that to happen. It just can’t read more…

Adam Crapser: Adopted, Abused and Facing Deportation

By Mirah Riben The New York Times called the life of Adam Crapser a bizarre Kafkaesque odyssey. The internationally adopted man, now 40 and living in Vancouver, Washington, has become the face of everything wrong with adoption. He was adopted, abused, abandoned to foster care, rehomed, abused worse than before, and abandoned again all by the time he was 16 years old… and now he faces deportation.
Crapser’s odyssey began in South Korea where was born Shin Song Hyuk. In 1979, he and his older sister were adopted and came to America to their “forever family,” as adoptive families like to call themselves. The NY Times reports: “Crapser remembers being whipped and forced to sit in a dark basement. After six years, the couple decided they no longer wanted the children.”
Crapser was 10 when the foster care system separated him from his sister. He then bounced between foster homes and a boys’ home. Finally, he was adopted again by Dolly and Thomas Crapser of Oregon who beat him more severely than his former adoptive parents. The Times says:”Dolly, Crapser says, slammed the children’s heads against door frames and once hit him in the back of read more…