The Adoption Community

Adoptionland- we have each otherActivism and Support; The Adoption Community Call to Arms

Adoption can be a very isolating experience. The rise of the internet has been an incredible tool which allows people to find those on a similar journey and can offer all sorts of support and validation. Because of this the adoption community has grown in leaps and bounds over the last few years. No longer are we all alone in our feelings and confusion, there is always someone out there who cares.

The Online Adoption Community; Working Together

Please consider joining the Adoption Army.

The Adoption Army harnesses the power of numbers so that we can work together on various Calls to Arms. Click on the link above to learn more! You can also brose the various posts below that have calls to action for activism within adoption.

Adoption Blogs

There are many many adoption blogs! Adoption is not just one person’s story or one person’s truth. We all have voices and unique perspectives on the experiences.  When I started blogging, there was just a handful of us in the small adoption blogosphere, now, I am thrilled that there are so very many. I have separate lists for birthmother blogs, adoptee blogs, adoptive parent blogs, and other adoption issues. I also try to keep them updates via feed lists so you can find the latest adoption blog posts. The RSS lists can be easily embedded on your own site, so if you would like to support the Online Adoption Community, please send me and email and let me know and I will send you the codes.

If you would like to be included on the lists, send me an email with your URL and Feed address and which list you best fit in!

Adoption Websites for Online Adoption Information

Again, it’s a big list of adoption related links.  If you would like to be included on the list, send me an email with your organizations URL. I reserve the right to decide if you fit on the Musings of the Lame lists and all requests are not guaranteed.

Other Happenings in the Adoption Community

Please take a minute and check out Adoption Events for Conferences, Meet-ups and  in person meetings. Writing submissions and calls for presentations are also included there.

Keep up on current events in Adoption News. Join in  with The Adoption Lists.

I also like to highlight various happenings within the adoption community, so if you, as an adoption community member or blogger have something to add or promote, please let me know!



Yes,  VSA Partners  Kleenex ® And Adoption Go Together!

A Case of Kleenex Tissues

So I kind of LOVE this idea that PSA Agency has, but wow I would so love to see it expanded on. It could be literally amazing. Of course, here I go dreaming again, but imagine if Kleenex did something like focusing on adoptees searching and were able to tied that in with little PSA’s about the fight for Adoptee Rights in this country? Especially now that there has been successful legislation passed on quite a few states and we have all the pending legislation in a good handful of states in 2015. I could see a final product that might resemble these trailers for Jean Strauss adoption films. read more…

Saving Our Sisters

By AstridBeeMom Saving Our Sisters or S.O.S. is a grassroots effort founded by Lynn Johansenn and organized by Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy as an effort to provide the resources and tools to expectant mothers who feel they must consider adoption as an option to their crisis pregnancy. Through a nationwide network of birthmothers and volunteers we are able to break through the barriers that are present in these women’s lives in order to provide a path to parenting. To read more about S.O.S. or to sign up to join the army and volunteer your time, services, money, or just a shoulder to lean on, please visit Claudia’s site here:
SAVING OUR SISTERS
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Adoption Reunion From An Adoptee’s Point of View

By Susie Most of the stories you see of adoption reunion in the media are just sort snippets in time ~ the moment that family members see each other face-to-face for the first time since birth. How happy and exciting it all is.Those short snippets don’t show what happens in the time after the first emails, letters, in-person visits.Reunion was life changing for me. There are still times, six years later, that I find myself lost in some aspects; trying to figure out how to navigate this new life with my firstborn son included. Today I read this adoptee’s story of her experience and feelings in being reunited with her natural family.It’s an important read I think, especially for those expectant mothers considering adoption who are still landing here on my blog. If the hope of a future reunion with your child is something that you are holding onto in order to be able to go through with adoption ~ take that hope off the table. It’s not a sure thing. I have come to know some wonderful reunion stories, but there are far more where either the natural mother (or father) read more…

Saving Our Sisters; An Adoption SOS

SAving Our Sisters from Adoption

The simple fact is that we CAN do this. And it is becoming more and more clear that we MUST do this. So if you are at all interested in actually DOING something to really help preserve families, support successful parenting and provide a viable option to a unplanned crisis pregnancy and avoid adoption, PLEASE join this list. read more…

Initial Findings – Adoptee Survey

By AstridBeeMom About halfway through a survey I like to give a glimpse into how the results are forming. This allows everyone to get a little excited and also helps to gather more participants which usually yields more well-rounded results. It seems I am having a more difficult time with getting participants for this survey than I did for my birthmother survey. This could be for any number of reasons but let me speculate. First, I am not an adoptee and am not privy to belonging to adoptee groups. Therefore, word of mouth is slower. Second, dare I ask the question? Are adoptees just innately ingrained to be silent and not stir the boat? Surely this doesn’t apply to all of them as we saw with #flipthescript. I can’t help but wonder, though. Especially after reading some of the answers.
I tried very hard to make a well-rounded survey with as many options as possible for answers. I’ve had some great suggestions in the comments but I cannot change the choices read more…

Anonymous Third Party Reproduction Ignores Children’s Rights and Welfare

By Mirah Riben Sheena and Tiara Yates, a New Jersey couple and parents of two, are challenging the visitation rights of the biological father of their second child. It will be interesting to see if the courts, in deciding this case, will base their decision solely on the legal rights of the parents, or if they take into account the rights and best interest of the child created.
The Yates’ child was conceived privately for the lesbian couple with a sperm donor who signed a legal contract terminating his parental rights. The law in New Jersey, however, upholds third party reproductive contracts only when the insemination is conducted in a medical facility, and this conception occurred privately.
The law is the same for heterosexual married couples as it is for same sex couples, with one hitch. Parental right laws are based on the assumption of the husband being the father of all children produced during the marriage. While some states — including New Jersey — allow for exceptions with proof of paternity, in the case of lesbian conception, that exception is null.
Concern has been raised that laws requiring the use of a medical facility read more…

My Desperate Plea – Searching – October 29, 1993, Kingsport, Tennessee

By AstridBeeMom There are SO many people that are searching for birth family or for the child they relinquished. I know that this may seem like one of the many thousands, but I really need everyone’s help here. Tawney is such a wonderful person. She has been through so much as a birthmom. More than anything I want to be able to give her the gift of knowing that her daughter is alive, happy, and healthy.Even though her child’s adoption was done in 1993, it was a traditionally closed adoption and she knows next to nothing. I have watched this brave mama celebrate in the reunions of others, help in searches for other people, and still have no peace of her own to be found. I hate that I have not been able to help her, or the many other people that have tried. I know Tawney’s daughter is out there somewhere and, as a last resort, I am hoping that social media can help us find her.
Tawney has two Facebook pages to assist in her search. The first is October 29, 1993 Searching for My Daughter 10-29-1993 Kingsport, TN and the second is October 29, read more…

Happiness vs Contentment

By Lori Holden Which do you pursue: happiness or contentment? And do you perceive a difference between them? ~~~~~ I wasn’t a Spanish major, but I do remember learning when to use ser, “to be,” and when to use estar, also “to be.” The former has to do with identity — I am a wife and mother – … Continue reading Happiness vs Contentment →
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How to Find Your Child’s Adoptive Parents – A Step by Step Guide

By AstridBeeMom With an alarming number of women who were promised open adoptions having the door slammed shut in their face, I thought I would write about some methods that can be used in order to solve this problem. Almost every search group will not search for a child until they are 18 or 21 years of age, regardless of whether or not it was supposed to be an open adoption. However, I think that searching for adoptive parents, who promised to always keep you in the loop, is something that all first moms should know how to do.
Most women who were promised open adoptions would probably not have even considered adoption,at all, if they knew they would spend years wondering if their child was healthy or, at the very least,alive. The promise of open adoption does seem to lure in a good number of mothers who would not otherwise have signed the dotted line. This “glamorizing” or “dolling-up” of adoption is a way to fill the demand for babies. While a good number of adoptive parents do keep their promises (and should be given kudos for read more…

The update to “Newly Minted Birthmoms”

By AstridBeeMom AstridBeeMom:Pay attention.
Originally posted on Adoption: Second Generation Birthmom:
This in an update to the post Newly Minted Birthmoms. It is in response to me flipping out over yet another Newly Minted Birthmom with her head in the clouds claiming that she’s at peace with her decision and that she has no regrets. Then I ask the question “how old is your child?” and I get the answer I was fully expecting…Yep…under 3 yrs. For those of you who haven’t read Newly Minted Birthmoms, here is the link. This post will make so much more sense if you read that first. https://adoptionbirthmom.wordpress.com/2014/12/01/newly-minted-birthmoms/

Here’s the thing. Newly minted birthmoms are a whole other breed of brainwashed. I don’t say it to be cruel, only to say that the brand of koolaid the adoption industry is peddling now, I think is the most dangerous batch ever made. The changes to the “formula”over the years have made the physiological effects of adoption…
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When the Lost Get Found

By Laura Marie Scoggins
In all of us there is a hunger, marrow-deep, to know our heritage-to know who we are and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning. No matter what our attainments in life, there is still a vacuum, an emptiness, and the most disquieting loneliness. – Alex Haley, Roots

It was a cold January day with snow on the ground and ice on the roads when I drove to the small rural Indiana town where my birth mom lived. My adoption file had just been opened by the State of Indiana upon the discovery of her death. After 36 years I finally knew her name. I had the address where she grew up and where my grandmother still lived. A two year search with fake names, road blocks, and closed doors culminated in this moment.
My first stop was the local library where I piled old yearbooks high on the table to look for photos of my mom and her siblings. The first book I grabbed was from 1965 because I knew that was the year she graduated. read more…

A Case For Adoption

By AstridBeeMom Every couple of years or so I go through the folder in my filing cabinet labeled “adoption.” This is where I store all pertinent papers in regards to my relinquishment of IKL. It is a “keepsake” folder of sorts, as I literally put every paper I received during that time in it. For 14 years a little purple book entitled, “A Case For Adoption” has remained in that folder and I’ve never even read it. I didn’t read it when I was pregnant and I didn’t read it after relinquishment. I acquired it on accident. Among some hand-outs and other “informational” paperwork I was given by my agency, this was left behind, in my home. I assumed it was meant to be left, and have all these years. Several months ago I decided to skim the pages with my newly “out of the fog” eyes. It appeared to be some sort of handbook on how to convince expectant mothers to relinquish their babies. Tonight I decided to read it from front to back and I just had to share it with you all.
There read more…

Surviving Or Thriving

By Laura Marie Scoggins

A comment was made on the Surviving Adopted Facebook Page that I should change the title to Thriving Adopted because surviving has such a negative connotation.
Here’s the difference:
Thrive – grow or develop vigorously. to prosper and flourish.
Survive – continue to live or exist in spite of danger or hardship, to remain alive, sustain oneself, pull through, hold on.
I’m in the portion of the story where I am telling the “nice” version on my life adopted and how I survived. It is not a woe is me pity party kinda story. It is a look what I survived and overcame and see all God has done in my life kinda story.
I began baton twirling at the age of three and entered my first competition at the age of five. My adopted mother was a baton twirling instructor. The ironic thing about this is the fact that she briefly worked with the majorettes at my birth mother’s high school back in the 1960’s during the time she was in high school and in the band.
I competed read more…

1001th: Just Keep Driving

By Lori Holden I’ve been unmotivated to post anew because…this. But I guess when your car’s odometer passes 100K, you just keep on driving. ~~~~~ I had a post syndicated on BlogHer earlier this month and I invite you to check it out. Get your sexy on with these 5 yoga poses (some of them a skosh more … Continue reading 1001th: Just Keep Driving →
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The Adoptee Survey

By AstridBeeMom I was asked, recently, if I would be willing to do an adoptee survey similar to the one I did for birthmothers. I do not pretend to know the first thing about being an adoptee but I have prepared myself for the questions that I am asking by listening very carefully to other adoptees. I have done a lot of reading the past two days in order to gain some insight as to what questions need to be asked. I hope that this survey does my adoptee friends, and the adoption community as a whole, justice. It is so very important to listen to the voices of adoptees, as we learned in #FlipTheScript. If you are an adoptee and would like to participate in this survey it can be found here: Adoptee Survey by Musings of a Birthmom
I thank you, in advance, for your participation!
-AstridFiled under: Adoptee Voices

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