• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

Adoption Language and Use of the Word “Birthmother”

adoption language and the word birth motherMy Choice to Use the Word “Birthmother

I did not choose this definition for myself. I was given, taught, introduced to this word by the adoption agency I had gone to. I went into adoption knowing I would come out as a birthmother, but I did not know the history of the word at all.

I have learned the history. I do not approve of the creation of the word birthmother. I know it is separates mothers from their children.

In the past, I have strongly supported the position of the word “birthmother” being a socially unacceptable label given to us by the adoption industry. I have caused a ruckus and fought the right of others to use this term which you can read about, in part, here: Let’s Discuss the Birthmother Disaster.

I have done the research on the Origins of the Word “Birthmother” and that research has continued over time.

I fully understand the reasoning why we, as the adoption community, and myself personally, should shy from the use of this term and educate others as to why no one wants to be called a birthmother. I completely respect the right of my fellow sisters to reject the term and to self identify with whatever wording they find most comfortable. If I had my druthers, I would drop all modifiers and simply be called what I am. I am a mother.

However, I follow the teachings of Google.

The use of adoption language is very important in terms of SEO. The purpose of this blog is to reach as many people who need it during their own adoption journeys. If we cannot get people the help they need when they search for it, then we cannot help them. We cannot determine, nor assume, their understanding of adoption language and the use of “proper terminology” especially when first beginning a search for adoption information. Google keyword research has clearly shown how people search and find adoption information online. This dictates that I use the word “birthmother” as that is what the overwhelming numbers of adoption searches use.

Otherwise I am preaching to the choir.

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