Adoption Language and it’s Use When
Applied to Google and Search
A recent Facebook conversation alerted me that it was time to talk about this again. Sometimes there is some confusion, quite understandably, over the use of the word birthmother, my feeling about that word and why I choose to use it.
I have participated, often on the side of the fence, on the agreement of opting for the end of the
use. I have done significant research into the true origins of the use of the word birthmother and it’s coercive use in the adoption industry.
use. I have done significant research into the true origins of the use of the word birthmother and it’s coercive use in the adoption industry.
I will still take a stance on why the term sucks and how I understand and 110% complete completely respect anyone who chooses not to use the word birthmother.
The reasons I have chosen to use it are, for my own purpose, because of its horrible misguided acceptance. As much as it sucks, that it what people search for. If you need a quick explanation of how Google and search engine optimization works, please see this post: Adoption Language and SEO.
The people whoare unaware of the misuse and abuse associated with it are the very people I wish to find, educate, take in, or whatever. Otherwise, it is just preaching to the choir.
What Google Says about the Word Birthmother
As I know other people might not completely understand, or even believe me, when I say this. I spent some time this morning checking back in and running some updated search terms. Just to eliminate any other confusion, I don’t make this stuff up. I have spent the last four and a half years doing this work professionally in the search engine and internet marketing field. I am trained professionally.
I went to the GoogleKeyword tool and typed in my search query on other terms for birthmothers; This is something anyone can do. It’s a free tool.
- birth mother
- birth mother
- first mother
- natural mother
- bio mother
- biological mother
- lost mother
- mother in exile
- exiled mother
- relinquishing mother
- mother who relinquished to adoption
- birth mom
- birthmom
- tummy mommy
The results (and I pulled them all) contain a range of the exact
terms I choose and then other terms that Google “sees’ as related to what
I am looking for. I listen to what Google says, because the way that Google
“thinks” directly effects what other people find in term of search.
terms I choose and then other terms that Google “sees’ as related to what
I am looking for. I listen to what Google says, because the way that Google
“thinks” directly effects what other people find in term of search.
Let’s Look at the Search Term Adoption Agency as an Example:
|
Keyword
|
Competition
|
Global Monthly Searches
|
Local Monthly Searches (United States)
|
|
adoption agency
|
0.88
|
135,000
|
90,500
|
Now Google give back results for the last 30 days.
It tells me the COMPETITION;
which means the total urls out there in percentage that Google sees as relevant
for this term. So out of all the millions of URLS that the Google search
engines have crawled, .88% of them are about adoption
agencies. Less than 1% is good. It tells
us that there is not a lot of other pages out there. And if I google
“Adoption Agency” the number of web pages that Google has indexed for
the keyword are 6,320,000.
which means the total urls out there in percentage that Google sees as relevant
for this term. So out of all the millions of URLS that the Google search
engines have crawled, .88% of them are about adoption
agencies. Less than 1% is good. It tells
us that there is not a lot of other pages out there. And if I google
“Adoption Agency” the number of web pages that Google has indexed for
the keyword are 6,320,000.
The GLOBAL MONTHLY SEARCHES tells me the
number of times that the term has been typed into Google’s search bar in the
whole world in the last 30 days: 135,000.
number of times that the term has been typed into Google’s search bar in the
whole world in the last 30 days: 135,000.
The LOCAL MONTHLY
SEARCHES is the same action taken, in the same time frame, but only for the
US: in this case: 90,500.
SEARCHES is the same action taken, in the same time frame, but only for the
US: in this case: 90,500.
I usually will sort my lists first to see if there are any
terms that have really low competition, because that tells me that I can make a
real dent in the search results if I have less other URLS to compete with, but
in this case they are all under 1%, so it’s a fine point.
terms that have really low competition, because that tells me that I can make a
real dent in the search results if I have less other URLS to compete with, but
in this case they are all under 1%, so it’s a fine point.
Out of the total results provided I see there are a total
of 24,201,959 adoption related searches in
the past 30 day in the US on Google. Again,
Google is telling me that these terms are all relevant to the words I was looking
for. There were some terms on the list that I know are just not really
“adoption relevant” in this case. I took out “Parenting
Magazine” and Mothering.com and a “Mother Theresa Bio” since
they are not relevant at all. What I look at is the US search numbers since that
is my target market more than anything and sort my terms so the largest numbers
are first and then decrease.
of 24,201,959 adoption related searches in
the past 30 day in the US on Google. Again,
Google is telling me that these terms are all relevant to the words I was looking
for. There were some terms on the list that I know are just not really
“adoption relevant” in this case. I took out “Parenting
Magazine” and Mothering.com and a “Mother Theresa Bio” since
they are not relevant at all. What I look at is the US search numbers since that
is my target market more than anything and sort my terms so the largest numbers
are first and then decrease.
When
I pull all the terms that Google has given me for the “birth mother ”
search above, I get this data:
I pull all the terms that Google has given me for the “birth mother ”
search above, I get this data:
I further color coded the results so there is a stronger visual.
So birth related terms are in red, adoption in all its use ( adoption,
adopting, adoptee, adopted, adopt, adoptive) is in purple, bio terms are green, first mother goes in
blue and natural is in brown.
adopting, adoptee, adopted, adopt, adoptive) is in purple, bio terms are green, first mother goes in
blue and natural is in brown.
I then broke down the terms into more columns based on their color category. Now some terms don’t fit into the “colored’ category, such as ” birth of a mother” and they are not included in the final results. Likewise the terms “loss of a mother” and “lost mother” do not have color categories or are counted in.
Google Doesn’t See “Lost Mothers” Relating to Adoption
Now, this might seem like I am manipulating the data as “Lost Mother” or “mother of loss” could be real truthful terms to use, but again, we must think the way Google does. Google gave me the results because I specifically asked for “lost mother”. However, if I look to see what
URLS Google has indexed for “Lost Mother” it becomes very obvious to me that Google see “lost” as in “dead”.
One must throw the word adoption in there with lost mothers for the results to be relevant. Even if I get more granular on my keyword research: the results for the following return nothing except for the number we already for the irrelevant “lost mother” .
One must throw the word adoption in there with lost mothers for the results to be relevant. Even if I get more granular on my keyword research: the results for the following return nothing except for the number we already for the irrelevant “lost mother” .
- lost mother
- mother lost to adoption
- mother of loss adoption
- lost mother adoption
Hence, it doesn’t fall into the final keyword search term analysis because Google does not see it as relevant.
Now, one could argue that IF we start using that term in regards to birthmothers, bio mothers, etc, then Google search engine spiders will eventually see the connections and that IS true.
However, the risk is that while people were spending time and effort to make the spiders re-index the data, the people who DID find a blog post about the term through search would NOT be looking for it, they would be looking for information regarding mothers lost through death. They would most likely leave any blog post that was adoption loss, not death loss and that would, in turn, decrease the value of the original post. That will hurt the blog and the effort in the end. It’s a bit of a catch 22 , so I do not recommend it.
In simple terms, it’s like using the word “Brittney Spears Naked Photos” to get lost to attention for about that is really about adoptee rights. The initial clicks might be good, but really no one is going to stay and read about adoptee rights when they want to see boobs.
The Break Down of Adoption / Mother Related Searches
Anyway, back to color coding; out of the 24,201,959 searches related to adoption in my results, there were 7,099,569 specifically using adoption (in some form), birth mothers/parents, first, bio or biological and natural.
When I broke down those number it looks like this:
For the heck of it, I broke down the adoption terms even further:
And then, because I’m all about Adoption Infographics these days (have you seen the United States of Denied Adoptees?) I made this handy dandy little image for all:
Once again, you can click on the image to copy it in a bigger size.
What Google Wants in Terms of Search, Language and Adoption?
What the date tells me above is what I already know. If you are writing about adoption, then the word adoption needs to be used. And if one is writing about issues in adoption that pertain to being a mother who relinquished, then I want those 1/3 a million monthly searches to have a chance of finding things here and that means using the word birthmother. I won’t call you one, but I’m going to write with it.
I do promise that when the day comes that our voices are ,known and the majority have an idea that we all exist, are real people and our feelings matter. I will gladly stop using the term birthmother and throw it away in the garbage where it belongs. Until then, being known that we are mothers pure and simple, greatly wronged, as are our children, and I use the term to reach our goals, while challenging the industry that created the very institution of birthmother-hood.
Until then, it’s going to be about being a birthmother because that is what people search for and I want them to find us here.
When adoptees start their search they know nothing of this whole semantic war going on. They look for the mother who gave birth to them, hence birth mother. It is, at that moment, the only difference they know from the parent who raised them.
They don’t care about the politics of adoption. Initially many don’t even care why. They just want to find that genetic match. That someone they resemble.
The further they dig, the more they read, they start to learn. And its not good education. What they learn is the woman who gave them life is probably angry, exploited, and not waiting with open arms because she’s too busy being bitter.
I’ve had quite a few people tell me they no longer wish to search, that what they’ve read tells them this wasn’t for the best and they want no more part of it. And that’s just sad bc not all birth mothers are so militant.
I can imagine an adoptee reading the above and thinking wow so they’re worried about statistical results, not ME, just little old ME.
Goddessoflubbock
Search Angel (12 years)
Found my birth sibs and father
Birth mother deceased
That’s a very interesting point.
And i think in many ways, it’s sadly true. Some moms have been so damaged by the process that it’s not at all about the adoptee anymore. Of course, on my own end, searched, found and in reunion now, I can afford to get geeky on these issues. But I can see how it would see off putting.
What I find particularly distressing is the treatment many newcomers get in the various adoption-related groups. Indeed, not knowing the politics, they venture out – perhaps for the first time ever – expressing their needs or their pain or their yearning, but using the condemned ‘b’ word. Almost instantly they get verbally assaulted for using the word they’ve probably always associated with the person they seek. I find that unconscionable. Moreover, I feel there is far too much time, effort, and words spent on trying to bury that word. The media will always use it; the public has come to think of it as the appropriate term, and newcomers to Facebook and other forums almost assuredly will use it. I, for one, resent being told that my use of the term I’ve been comfortable with for over thirty years can now get me assaulted by the adoption language police. I absolutely HATE the “f” word, but the same people who condemn me for using the “b” word pepper their postings with that disgusting term for fornication.
Oh yes..the attack of the newbie! I don’t think that will ever really change. I think it’s almost a right of passage and I don’t mean that in a condoning way because I don’t agree with it, but it just keeps on. Been that way as long as I have been online…have made many pleas myself over the years. It’s like people forget that they were once newbies, too, and just didn’t know better.
What’s sad is it does become a trial by fire, and the people who are new, who need the support, get scared away and the adoption community as a whole looks like a bunch of mad men. We could be embracing new folks, taking them under our wings, introducing them, and providing the education.
Of course, there re online battles in every community, but sometimes, I think adoption is a bit more hairy.. there is just so much hurt and adoption often becomes a core value of a persons life foundation.. so the new information takes time to process and provides stronger initial resistance. Add the hostile reception and you have a powder keg.
Wow you are such a geek! <3
I don’t see the search stats for “real mother”, or are my eyes messing with me?
Elizabeth
Nope. Now I didn’t have that one on my initial query. But google didn’t pick it up for a term either. When I run it by itself, the results are non adoption related. I have one result:
“how to find my real mother” with a High competition and a local search number of 36. SO that would not make the pie graphs with such a low number.
I took all my previous queries and added real mother in to see if that altered anything.. and still.. not one.
It’s actually amazing what one can learn about human behavior form keyword searches. Like I can say from this alone.. when adoptees begin to search; they look for their birth parents, or biological parents. Those are the terms that people have been taught to us and are “accepted” at this time.
Interesting. I was just curious because if I were searching I’d Google something like “How do I find my real mother?”
I never heard the term “birthmother” until I saw it online. I think it is barfy but I understand why people use it.
For years, I called my biological mother my “birthmother” when talking about both of my moms. I can’t even remember how I picked it up as no one in my family ever used it.
Lately whenever I click on your blog I sutomatically get redirected to a webring. What am I doing wrong?
http://www.webring.org/hub/adoption?w=1024;rh=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Emusingsofthelame%2Ecom%2F;rd=1
It’s not you..Its the stupid web ring. So I just pulled the code off. You should be fine now.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I agree, my blog is named “She’s Only the Birthmother” for two reasons. Google search, as you mentioned and it is also sarcasm as in that’s how they view me. I used the term for a while when referring to my self until I learned how degrading it is. I had never really thought about the word until then. I was talking with a close friend last week, she had also placed a child for adoption when we were in high school. When she referred to herself as a birthmother, I cringed. I tried to explain to her the history of the word and how offensive it is. She still said it didn’t bother her. Oh well, everyone’s different I guess.
There are a lot of ways how to find people online. Social media network can provide a lot of info.
My brother recommended I might like this web
site. He was once entirely right. This publish actually made my day.
You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
Many mothers found adult children had been convinced that they were “given up” and therefor unwanted. Their adult child held the emotion of anger and resentment towards the cause of their feeling of being rejected- towards their mother who came looking for them. This was in AUSTRALIA. This caused more harm and some mothers turned political as a way of expressing their love and mothering to their rejecting son or daughter. This led to research of and foundations and motivations of the acts of separation of mother from her son or daughter in the labor ward during the birthing process or shortly thereafter. It also exposed heinous crimes against women and children that were hiden under the term “adoption”. Driven by the love for their rejecting/abandoned (adult) child they sought to expose the human rights violations of a generation of single pregnant teenage girls , that led to normalizing adoption practises in many western countries. There was never the intention to ignore the experiences of people who experienced being adopted and often the cruel legecy of that. And the pain was also driving many mothers into acting politically. Feeling rejected by her son or daughter was ( as it is for many who were taken and have been rejected a 2nd time) a very retraumatizing experience. As there has been very inadequate help to deal with this devastation – taking affirmative action has been a positive solution to a hopelessly disempowering life altering event. I hope this helps to explain a little as to why some mothers have remained stuck while others found a way through by moving into the social accountability arena. I am very sorry as a mother of a son who rejects me if my actions or expressed opinions have been hurtful to anyone. And I will be forever grateful to have been part of some very courageous mothers who fought for the truth to be exposed ( in Australia) and won!! Adoptees with many injustices placed on them from their beginnings have their own path to follow. I am here to help if I can but it is not my area of expertise. Blessing to everyone. Xx