• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

Why Are Adoptees Reduced to Begging for Help?

What is wrong with Sealed Adoption Records?

Imagine a WOrld Where Adoptee Rights were equal rightsIt reduces people to this level. They have to beg for help from strangers on social media just to find their families. This is the new Adoptee Search Meme on Facebook.

ISO Birthmother female 2-9-86 adoptee searching jan 1975 virginia


adoptee searching va 1979



adoptee searching utah






May 22 1984 female adoptee NY ISO

379180_10151406658224084_1966999029_n 601215_10151396476932866_635234246_n

62895_10151397896907866_1124225843_n 66151_10151396473232866_154805951_n 67400_10151398702212866_1604905684_n 75090_10151398366397866_455452473_n 385184_10151398216427866_2129935589_n 483726_10151399049092866_580590243_n 554547_10151398848942866_586003045_n

The state governments of the USA have failed adoptees in his country and every day there is not a new Adoptee Rights bill passed in a closed state, is another day that we continue to fail over 6 million US citizens.

Now Imagine Something Different for our US Adoptees

Imagine if we had Adoptee Rights Legislation passed in all 50 states.

Imagine a world where adult adoptees could access their birth records like EVERY other American and know the name they were given. Is there really something so inherently wrong about adoption that it turns adoptees into stalkers? Will they all start frothing at the mouth if they find out their mother’s names? What happened to the poor baby that everyone cared so much about now that they are grown adults who want to exercise their human right to know where they came from.

Imagine if an adoptee could file for their Original Birth Certificates just like everyone else.  Imagine if the rules were air and equal and we did not put adult adoptees into a second class of citizenship. Imagine if they could make their own choices and forge their own relationships if they did or didn’t want to. Imagine if they had a choice. Imagine if they could find their mothers and father and sisters and brothers when they wanted to, how they wanted to, without paying fees, or signing or for registries or hoping for judges to grant them court orders that hardly ever go through.

Imagine a world where we let adult make decisions that affect their lives. We let them fill out their medical forms with more than an unknown. We let them know the branches of their family tree. We let them know whose nose it is perched upon their face.

Then they wouldn’t have to post pictures of themselves on Facebook holding signs with personal information all over.

Then they wouldn’t have to beg for strangers for shares in order to find out who they look like and if cancer runs in their family.

Then we would have a country that has faced the reality of adoption and adoiptees; Adoptees have a RIGHT to know their true idenity.

Imagine that.

Let’s Make it Happen for Our Children, Our Friends, Ourselves

Without decent Adoptee Rights Laws in this country, we make grown adults beg to find their family. Share this because we are obviously more efficient than the government. Then call your state legislators and tell them that you are sick and tired of seeing these adoptees all over Facebook. Tell them that you find Adoptee Rights IMPORTANT and that they should PASS them.

Then, there will be more room for Kittens and Grumpy Cat on Facebook.


Adoptees Searching on Pinterest

Elaine Penn started a board on Pinterest for posting these Adoptee Searching images! Follow Adoptees Searching on Pinterest NOW!

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Claudia Corrigan DArcy

About Claudia Corrigan DArcy

Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.
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10 Responses to Why Are Adoptees Reduced to Begging for Help?

  1. Pingback: Collecting the Adoptees and Families Searching Images on Facebook |

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  3. Pingback: Adoptees Shouldn’t Have to Use Facebook to Find Their Birth Parents « Tony Rocha Official Blog

  4. Pingback: Adoptees Shouldn’t Have to Use Facebook to Find Their Birth Parents – The AtlanticSanok Silik | Sanok Silik

  5. Pingback: Adoptees Shouldn’t Have to Use Facebook to Find Their Birth Parents | CCLAH

  6. Pingback: Frustrated adoptees turning to Facebook to find their real parents « Tony Rocha Official Blog

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  8. Amanda Ovadal says:

    I used to do a lot of free searching to help adoptee’s and birthparents looking for each other back in 1998-2003 and I found the work rewarding. However with limited ways to search, it was difficult to do any but Wisconsin searches for me. I did them because I had much help from search angels who did searches for me in Wisconsin, California and New York. I found there was not a lot of benefit for me to search because my experience has been one of a lot of pain and heartache. I wish that my birth families were different but they aren’t. I have parted ways with my birthmothers family as she died long before I began looking. There is much resentment and comparing of the woman we knew as our birthmother, and the woman they resented and despised; even in death everything she ever did to wrong them, was somehow either our fault, or we were too much like her. Which befuddled me. As well my birthfather turned out to be a complete monster and has as many as eight children and only four he knows about. He too was never a part of my life. My half sisters and brothers and my step-mother who was the mother of four to five of my birth siblings are a part of my life. It’s limited because of the extensive abusive behavior that I experienced no thank you to the people I shudder to think I share DNA with. My grandmother on my birthmothers side would have been a wonderful addition to my family, but she passed along with my grandfather before I could meet them. I am in search of my aunts and uncles on my fathers side by I know limited information about them. I also want to know my birthmother via people that loved her and cared about her; and who don’t just have negative things to say about her. I think though these things are wishes and with that I will close. I will say that I am considering opening a private detective agency and do searches for adoptees in the future on the side, next to the paid things I will investigate. I have to finish my degree and obtain the proper things to have this agency but it is a plan. Thanks for reading.

  9. leslie reece says:

    I am seeking my nephew, born in Marin County California in 1967-68.
    Birth mother was Shelly Diane Reece, he was given up at birth. I have no way of tracking him and my sister is now deceased. Have received very conflicting stories about her whereabouts at the time. I want him to know there is family out there that wants to know him and wish him well.

  10. Melinda Leggett says:

    I can so relate to Amanda’s story! I was born in 1953 as Monya Christine Rotunno.to whom I know to be a Betty Jean Ellis & Vincent Rotunno in Newport Beach, Ca.Was told my mother left me with my father who could not care for me & put me up for adoption.Supposedly have several 1/2 sisters I have never known.My father lived somewhere in Ca. & told my mother was somewhere in the Midwest(maybe OH.,Ind. or Ill.) to Eastern US. Almost 60 yrs. old & have Never known one single biological family member!My life growing up was a nightmare.Spent my life searching for truths.This is my final chapter searching.Praying it has a good ending.Thank you Social Media!!!!

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