• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

PACT: Third Annual Collaborative Conference for Birthparents, Adoptive Parents, Adoptees, Siblings, Extended Family and Advocates

Adoption: A Lifelong Journey

WHO:  PACT: An Adoption Alliance
WHEN: Saturday, March 9, 2013 – 8:30 p.m
WHERE: Head Royce School Campus; 4315 Lincoln Avenue, Oakland CA 94602
WEBSITE:  PACT.org
BONUS: Joyce Maguire Pavao AND Brenda Romanchik are keynotes!

Third Annual Collaborative Conference for Birthparents, Adoptive Parents, Adoptees, Siblings, Extended Family and Advocates

When an adoption takes place it affects a wide reaching collection of family members and loved ones. We will explore ways to honor individuals and the dynamic role each person plays in the lives of adopted children. In examining the lifelong journey of adoption we can recognize the joy and connection as well as the more difficult emotions of grief and/or loss. By coming together with this perspective, we can move forward to strengthen identity and self- esteem in the adopted child and each other.

Click here to see the: Conference Brochure (224KB | )

KEYNOTE SPEAKERS

How Many Families Does It Take To Make An Adoption?

Joyce Maguire Pavao, Ed. D, is an adult adopted person who has been in reunion with her biological family for over 45 years. a Lecturer in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the Director of Riverside After Adoption Consulting &Training (AACT) as well as Director of Pavao Consulting and Coaching. As the former Founder and CEO of Center for Family Connectionsin Boston/NY for twenty years, Joyce and her adoption staff provided intergenerational, culturally sensitive, and systemic consulting and therapy to families touched by adoption, foster care, divorce and/or reproductive technologies.  Joyce is a long time advocate for ethical adoption practice, and post-placement support of all members of the adoption community.

Building Respectful Relationships

Brenda Romanchik, MSW, is a birth parent who placed her first child in an open adoption in 1984. She is the Clinical Coordinator for Care House in Mount Clemens, Michigan. She is the author of Being a Birth Parent: Finding Our Place andYour Rights and Responsibilities: For Expectant Parents Exploring Adoption, among others. Brenda has been an outspoken advocate for open adoption and birth parent rights. Her work emphasizes child-centered placement processes that treat all family members with respect, and recognizes the responsibilities shared by all to support the adopted child.  Brenda was the first birth parent to offer support retreats for birth parents, called Lifegivers Gatherings.

This daylong conference will prove enlightening and informative if you are:

  • A birth mother, or a member of a birth family by adoption;
  • An adoptee or non-adopted sibling of an adoptee;
  • An adoptive parent, or a person considering adoption;
  • An educator, social worker, volunteer, counselor, or other individual engaged in working with families and individuals, and other family members/individuals touched by adoption.

Afternoon Sessions and Affinity Groups Will Include The Following Topics:

  • Race and adoption;
  • Birth mother needs over time;
  • Siblings by/in adoption;
  • Handling changes in the family constellation;
  • The role of fathers (birth and adoptive);
  • Pre-adoptive choices;
  • Special topics for single parents, LGBTQ parents, adoptive parents of color;
  • Transracial adoption;
  • Adoption in schools;
  • Technology/social media in adoption.

Click here for more details: Afternoon Workshops Description (198KB | )
Click here for more details: Affinity Focus Group Lunchtime Gatherings (288KB | )

Pricing Description:

$85/ per person (CEU certification additional $35)

$100/ per person after February 15th 2013

$125/ per person at door

Please choose carefully when registering for this event. We are not in a position to refund event registration fees.

Scholarships Available

If you are a birthparent who has placed your child for adoption and you are interested in either a partial or full scholarship to attend this conference please email Jenny@onyourfeetca.org.

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About admin

Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.
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One Response to PACT: Third Annual Collaborative Conference for Birthparents, Adoptive Parents, Adoptees, Siblings, Extended Family and Advocates

  1. Pingback: Inside Out Adoption Healing Seminar in California |

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