• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

Inside Out Adoption Healing Seminar CA

Inside Out Adoption  Comes to the San Francisco Bay Area!

WHO: PACT: Inside Out Adoption and the Mixed Roots Foundation

WHEN: Sunday, March 10, 2013 10:00am until 6:00pm

WHERE:American Red Cross Center, 712 5th Avenue, San Rafael, CA 94901

WEBSITE: Inside Out Adoption

BONUS: Make it an Adoption Weekend! Go to PACT’s Adoption Conference on the Sat and this on Sun!

Healing Adoption Wounds

The seminar offers the opportunity to identify deep wounds and challenges, and use creative expression and spiritual practices to foster healing. Created and facilitated by Craig Hyman and Patrick McMahon.

REGISTRATION FEE: $80 Includes all materials. One-hour lunch on your own.To Register, please visit: http://insideoutadoption.com/

Supported by Bay Area nonprofit organization:

Mixed Roots Foundation


What to bring to the workshop: Feel free to bring your own lunch if you like as we have a refrigerator and a microwave for heating things up, as well as a full kitchen on site (otherwise a list of local restaurants will be provided to you at the workshop before our lunch break). For some of the activities, floor seating is optional, so if you like, bring a pillow, a yoga mat and/or blanket, or a yoga cushion or low beach chair for your comfort. Chairs will always be available. A sweater or light jacket is advised in case it’s a cool day.

Lastly, we are going to be creating together a puja table http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puja_(Hinduism) as a ritual at the beginning of the day, and adding things to it throughout the day. So for this we suggest (but it’s not required) that you bring something related to your adoption or personal life experiences that are dear or important to you, that you will place up on this mantle to honor, be reminded of, have with you in spirit throughout the day; or something that is simply special to your person or that makes you happy, feel safe, or close to home so to speak. Examples of these items a.k.a. talismans if you will http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talisman, are photographs of your biological parents, adoptive parents, siblings (bio or otherwise), a deceased loved one or pet, an artifact, a lucky charm, a flower in a vase, your birth certificate, a childhood toy, a musical instrument, a Tchotchke also known as a nik-naks, a photograph of your pet, everything and anything that is silent but carries emotional, spiritual or adoption weight and worth for you that you would like present in the room during the workshop.

As adopted persons, both Craig and Patrick have experienced the depth of separation trauma from blood relatives, as well as the transformative, healing process of the mind, body, and spirit. We now wish to provide adopted persons and parents involved in adoption the opportunity to identify and validate their deepest wounds and challenges, and use creative expression and spiritual practices to foster resolution and healing. We also aim to promote personal growth in order to educate and enlighten broader society about the long-term effects of separation and connection.

During the seminar, attendees will experience a safe environment in which a variety of creative expression techniques will be used, each led by Craig, Patrick, and other local leaders in their fields. These may include meditation, movement, collage, journaling, role-play, art therapy exercises and more. These techniques will assist attendees in accessing their deep wounds, whether they be pre-verbal feelings and experiences or current challenges related to adoption. Throughout the day, there will opportunities to externalize these wounds, leading to a sense of release and resolution. The day will conclude with a group dialog and playful closing to promote a smooth transition out of the seminar, identify tools for continuing growth and empowerment, and encourage a sense of community and ongoing support.

“Inside Out was an experience I will never forget! The experiential interventions helped me explore my inner self like I had never done before. I highly recommend this workshop for any member of the adoption community as well as any professional. Kudos to Craig and Patrick.”

Jeanette Yoffe, M.A., M.F.T. -Child & Family Psychotherapist, Co-organizer of Adopt Salon Conference


About Inside Out Adoption Hosts

Craig Hyman

Craig honors a lifelong calling to service in the areas of adoption education, healing and spiritual growth. He is an Adoption Life Coach for adoptees, biological parents, adoptive parents, their families and significant others; and specializes in the areas of general adoptions issues, search, reunion and post-reunion complexities. He has founded and facilitated post-reunion and support groups in New York City and Marin and Sonoma counties in Northern California. Craig facilitates the Male Adoptee Issues workshop and Spiritual Perspectives Panel for the annual AAC conference as well as other national conferences. He resides in New York City coaching and educating globally.

Patrick McMahon

Deeply committed to spiritual healing through expressive arts, Patrick is a frequent speaker at national conferences, classes, and seminars, as well as the author of Becoming Patrick, a memoir about reconnecting to his family of origin. Applying his skills as a photographer, artist, and musician, he has developed expressive arts workshops and Exploring Our Roots, a multimedia arts event illuminating the complexities of adoption in our culture. He has created a line of greeting cards for those involved in adoption, and advocated for adoption education and reform. Patrick also facilitates an adoption support group in San Diego, where he currently resides.

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About admin

Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.
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