Adoption

musings of the lame an adoption blogAll Things Adoption; Relinquishment, Search, Reunions, Books, News and Information

Lots of people know adoption stories, but they don’t know how to search for an adopted child or birth birthmother, or the rules of a good reunion, or what to watch out for when making and adoption plan. I have tried to provide as much information as possible broken down into categories so you can hopefully find the information you need, when you need it.

If you don’t see what you are looking for, let me know. There is a good chance I have an adoption post  buried someplace in the  Musings of the Lame archives as I have been writing this adoption blog since 2005 and they are NOT all categorized yet. It’s been a very long process! And then, if you need something that is not here, there is a good chance that someone else also could benefit from that adoption information, so please do tell me what can help improve the adoption information here!

Basic Adoption Information Categories

Information about Adoption Relinquishment

Place your baby for adoptionIf you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are considering becoming a birthmother and making an adoption plan there are some things you should know about first- as in BEFORE you contact an adoption agency!


How to Give Your Baby Up for Adoption

Giving my son away to adoption in 1987I sure wouldn’t advise anyone following this plan of action, but this is the whole story, from beginning to end, of how I became a birthmother. Let it serve as words of warning.


Adoption Searches

searching for adopted child find my birth motherSearching for  your Birthmother? Do you want to find your adopted child? What you need to know if adopted and searching for a birthparent, birth mother, siblings lost to adoption.


An Adoption Reunion Roadmap

Adoption family reunionsTips and considerations to help you prepare for the emotions of an adoption reunion. There is no such thing as too much planning for an adoption reunion.  The time to start preparing for an adoption reunion is actually way before you start your actual adoption search.


Adoption Books

adoption stories and booksWhile everyone seems to love an adoption story; whether it be adoption horror stories or adoption reunion stories, adoption success stories  or adoption stories gone wrong. Opinions, personal reviews and discussion on each adoption book is encouraged in the comments of each books post.


Adoption News

adoption in the mediaAdoption in the media, news coverage on adoption, and the adoption stories that make the headlines. Only adoption can produce such a range of human interest from the heartwarming reunion stories to the horrors of an adoption gone wrong.


Costs of Adoption 

How much does it cost to adopt a childGoogle says 3600 people a month want to know “how much does adoption cost?” The monetary cost to adopt a child is easy; let’s look at the emotional costs of adoption to all affected.


Websites for Adoption Information

online information about adoptionOnline information about adoption all in one place. There are many sources for adoption information online. You will find research and support groups and history and facts. More support, national organizations, worthy places to donate money to, place to volunteer time and effort, people to contact.


Adoption Language and Use of the Word “Birthmother”

adoption language and the word birth motherMy choice to use the word “Birthmother” is based off a need to get this information out to as many people as I can and to do that, I use Search Engine Optimization. Language is important. SEO is a tool. I am geek. I talk about it a lot. Find out more here.


If you are looking to learn more about life as birthmother specifically, please find a whole category and sub-category broken up regarding birthmother issues.  Likewise, adoptee rights, the adoption community and truth about adoption; facts, research, the industry an culture of adoption can be found in main menu headings. Just read it all.

And then, some posts will just be about adoption overall or generically about adoption.



Adoption by Gentle Care Wins

demon award 2014 adoption by gentle care

The Pound Pup Legacy Annual Demons of Adoption Award

Upon a successful 2nd nomination and upon election within the Adoption community for rightfully pointed out the wrongdoings and condemned the practices Pound Pup Legacy hereby thus denounces the dubious honor of receiving the Eighth Annual Demons of Adoption Award in 2014 to:

Adoption by Gentle Care of Columbus, Ohio

Who shall now receive the most critical recognition in Adoption including the scorn, disgust, and public flogging pertaining hereto this most infamous recognition in the city of AdoptionLand, in the state of the Internet, on this tenth day of November in the year two thousand and fourteen. read more…

Talking with Darrick Rizzo of The Open Adoption about National Adoption Month

open adoption tv

Fantastic Adoption Interviews from theOpenAdoption.tv. Birth father and author Darrick Rizzo captures many attendees of the Adoption Initiative conference talking about Adoption for NAAM. Including me telling my Gotcha story and the hell the month of November. read more…

Ohio’s House Bill 307 Unethical and Ignorant of the Reality of the Tactics of Ohio Adoption Agencies

Ohio's House Bill 307 Unethical and Ignorant of the Reality of the Tactics of Ohio Adoption Agencies

You want to decrease abortions in Ohio, Mike Gonidakis? Good, then stop wasting your time being a mouth piece for the adoption industry and get behind bills that support a mother parenting her own child. Let’s help her have access to things like birth control so she can make choices proactively, or day care so she can support her children, or educational recourse so she can better herself. But stay out of the adoption debate, please. You have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the reality of how these laws are used in an adoption in Ohio. read more…

New York Times Reporter Interested in Talking to Birthmothers and Expectant Moms

The New York Times

I spent about 2 hours last week talking to Emily Brennan of the New York Times. She is looking to write a factual story about the birthmother of today. She was very nice, easy to talk to and understanding. As this piece is geared around a “modern” birth mothers; my own story and situation does not really apply. I cannot be a strong voice here. She is not looking to tell my story. She is looking to tell YOURS. read more…

Cannibalism in AdoptionLand

If anyone has a legitimate question and is willing to accept what I can share with them, then by all means I am more than willing to dispel any confusion or doubts. Anyone else, please get the fuck out of my way. I know who you are and I am aware now that you are no friend of mine, so pardon me if I don’t ask nicely twice and just push you aside;
I have work to do and you have already wasted way too much of my time. read more…

Please Take the CUB “OPEN ADOPTION BETRAYAL” Survey

cub the birth parent group

Fellow birth mother and researcher, Dr. Gail Hanssen Perry would like to know more about today’s betrayed open adoptions. She wants to compare today’s experiences with the findings of her doctoral research, “Extending Families: How Adoptive Parents Transition to Openness”, now 20 years old. This will not only enhances the CUB Retreat, but it could become part of a document CUB prepares to alert vulnerable pregnant couples to possible pitfalls. Gail and CUB Founder, Lee Campbell, have collaborated on a handout that includes a few questions for those who have been betrayed. I am happy to be able to make this into a online version for CUB and to help gather the information for them. If you are a Betrayed Birth Parent who was Promised More in Adoption than You Received, PLEASE Take the Survey! read more…

Adoption Book Review: “Birth Mother” by Denise Emanuel Clemen

Denise Emanuel Clemen's memoir "Birth Mother"

What I love the most about Denise Emanuel Clemen’s memoir “Birth Mother” is that it is ONLY the pregnancy and immediate adoption experience that she tells. Just as the reader has so many unanswered questions and wonders, the birthmother is left always wondering about her child and the child is left wondering about the mother. It is that complete separation that makes this story so powerful. read more…

What are the Costs of Adoption? Is Adoption Trauma?

Avid adoption separation trauma

Separating mother and child causes varying degrees of lifelong trauma for both. If you are pregnant and considering adoption for your baby, please listen to the mothers of adoption loss and more importantly, the adoptees. Educate yourself of the effect adoption will have on both of you before it’s too late.
Anyone (including agencies) that will gain if your baby is adopted will NOT inform you read more…

Birthing, Labor, and Adoption Relinquishment

When You Throw the Birthing Plan Out the Window

Your adoption plan is what you think you want and how you hope it will go down, but you want it to be like right now doesn’t matter either because like labor, you really won’t be in control once you sign the relinquishment consent. That signature gives up ALL control.
I can tell you that the pain from labor fades. I cannot say the same about adoption. read more…

In Family Betrayal; When Your Aunt Plays Adoption Baby Broker

Kaleigh Holcomb of Alabama born April 17th, 2007

David yanks her from my arms and says, ” I’m not dealing with this!” and walks out the door. I followed him watching her cry and reaching for me and yelling for me. He puts her in the car and shuts the door.
I never told her I loved he. I never told her I missed her. I never told her will miss her. I didn’t get to even tell her goodbye.
I didn’t know I wouldn’t ever see her again. read more…

Adoption ReHoming Injustice in Minnesota

Broken Promises in Adoption and Silence - Leading to Rehoming

After the adoptive parents of her daughter stopped communicating, Kristina learned that they placed her child in foster care to be rehomed. Kristina has decided to try to adopt her daughter back and is not in court. read more…

The Concerned United Birthparents’ Annual Retreat

cub the birth parent group

Registration is Open for CUB’s 2014 Retreat

What: Concerned United Birthparents annual Retreat
Where: Safety Harbor Resort and Spa 105 N. Bayshore Dr., Safety Harbor, FL
When: October 17th to 19th , 2014 read more…