Oh, where to start?
So, I started my day at the American Adoption Congress Conference in Boston, drinking coffee with our Heather Rainbow…waiting for DMC to do his key note….Very good, very emotional!
Then on to a sibling workshop, and then..it was time to go and meet Max.
By now, yeah..I am pretty bugging, but I am happy. Other people are bugging, but I am like..no I cant really talk to you all…you’re gonna make me cry and I need to go!
Everyone was great though…it was really touching. Rye called me just as I was on the road to wish me luck….and I drove.
I’m Going to SEE my Son Max!
I was good when I was driving. Even if my maps are kinda nutsy, as they have me going in circles, but I find the dorms, park the car, walk to the dorms (very cold), find out which one is his (they have no numbers) and get in (they have to have passes), but I get the door.
And, there is NO list of where people are, what rooms, and he is no where to be seen.
So I ask a girls how..and she is like well they have name tags on the doors That’s the boys area. It’s five floors, and a basement, and I have on heels, and only SOME of the doors have tags, and I am like OH why do I not have his number!!! WTF!
So I do this for a while, I am confused but there is NO WAY I am leaving. I am in the SAME BUILDING AS MY SON! I WILL find him again!
I walk about some and look, I ask other kids if they know him ( no one does), I look at every kid like a wacko, I look for RA’s ( in a meeting), I stare angrily at my phone.
Then I call Rye and ask him to check my email at home for the phone number and to see if I missed the room number.
Searching for My Son All Over Again
And as I am talking to him and Tristan, and I am outside smoking a cigg..I see this guy who had walked passed me before, but not looked at me.
Boots, jeans, Ramones T shirt, Leather MC jacket, messy hair…hmmmm?
But Tristan is telling me some thing, but I am listening to this guy stading outside on a freezing day talk to another kid (they are all waiting for a bus or something) ..and he says
” I am waiting for my mom, I haven’t seen her in …..mumble years”
Other kid leaves, MC boy stays. Yeah, got to go.
I walk over to him..and he is paying NO attention to me whats so ever…we’re both smoking..and I say to him:
“Who are you wating for?”
“Is that you?” He says..coming over, huge smile, arms open…
“Yeah…” Hug…big super fucking hug..ahhhhh
“OMG it’s really you”
I am Hugging My Son Again Finally
OK so that was like 1:30.
We go up to the dorm, he shows me about, we freeze to my car, we drive about College town, he shows me about, we drive to his home town, he shows me about….all the while we are talking talking talking about EVERYTHING. Talk talk talk…no silence, no awkward, no nothing….just too freaking motor mouths.. blah blah blah…laughing..OMG he has SUCH a MA accent!!!
So we decide to eat…we go to the mall..whatever I don’t care..like I can eat?
I have been to that mall before..I went there while PG..I went there with him..we sat at the damn food court while him in me, I went there after giving birth and THAT was the mall that I walked with with aching legs to buy him his book and Max doll.
And we proceed to sit in the food court and talk in his home town mall for…about 3 hours….four?
It is amazing of course. He is amazing..of course. It is just as I know it will be.
We are just hanging and out and talking like we are great close pals that have not see each other in…forever…but we know each other..even though we don’t. We have a lot of catching up to do. Nothing is an elephant. Nothing is taboo. It’s all good…our feelings so similar..how we take it in..same.
We talk about it all…past his life my life parents, siblings…it just IS. We sit and list the same things about us…..our favorite foods, asking questions…marvel and degree Nature as the clear winner…kicking nurtures ASS big time.
And yeah, we finish each others sentences…at least once…and what a doozie!!
Nature verses Nuture
Somehow we talk about if I die, that him being an adult over 18 might bump my brother as the decision maker…so we get to what funeral burial things we prefer..and it is the same..no formaldehyde plain pine box, eaten by worms…and we both say “bury me like a Jew“…and then sit there in total shock and awe.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I have NEVER met another human being that says “Bury me like a Jew” before. I say it, but I have NEVER said it to my son. There is NO WAY Max would know I say that and he would have no reason to say the same thing, at the same moment, in the exact same wording, based on the same feelings. Crazy!
We go back to the dorm.. give him silly little gifts, he hangs up the art that S & T sent on his walls. We take pictures..not so much..we were really preoccupied, but are counting on his GF to do that on Sunday.
We look at his baby pics that I brought, his baby clothes, he marvels at his baby hair….we just talk and talk and talk..it is 10 pm. We have had a nine and a half hour conversation.
I am very tired. It is late. My brother called me wondering..lol. He walks me back to the car. I drive him back…he puts his number in my phone..more hugs we will talk and hang on Sunday.
He must take me to that restaurant.
I drive back to Matt’s..I get lost.
I do not care.
I am happy.
I am happy.
I am oh so very happy.
I am tired. I am going to sleep. See us being happy.
There’s more..a man in a cow suit, Jack Nicholson staring at us, but I need to sleep now..it’s 2 am, but I promised pictures…see his Pirate flag?
This is totally up there with the best days EVA!