Meeting My Adopted Son For the First Time

Oh, where to start?

So, I started my day at the American Adoption Congress Conference in Boston, drinking coffee with our Heather Rainbow…waiting for DMC to do his key note….Very good, very emotional!

Then on to a sibling workshop, and was time to go and meet Max.

By now, yeah..I am pretty bugging, but I am happy. Other people are bugging, but I am I cant really talk to you all…you’re gonna make me cry and I need to go!

Everyone was great though…it was really touching. Rye called me just as I was on the road to wish me luck….and I drove.

I’m Going to SEE my Son Max!

I was good when I was driving. Even if my maps are kinda nutsy, as they have me going in circles, but I find the dorms, park the car, walk to the dorms (very cold), find out which one is his (they have no numbers) and get in (they have to have passes), but I get the door.

And, there is NO list of where people are, what rooms, and he is no where to be seen.

So I ask a girls how..and she is like well they have name tags on the doors That’s the boys area. It’s five floors, and a basement, and I have on heels, and only SOME of the doors have tags, and I am like OH why do I not have his number!!! WTF!

So I do this for a while, I am confused but there is NO WAY I am leaving. I am in the SAME BUILDING AS MY SON! I WILL find him again!

I walk about some and look, I ask other kids if they know him ( no one does), I look at every kid like a wacko, I look for RA’s ( in a meeting), I stare angrily at my phone.

Then I call Rye and ask him to check my email at home for the phone number and to see if I missed the room number.

Searching for My Son All Over Again

And as I am talking to him and Tristan, and I am outside smoking a cigg..I see this guy who had walked passed me before, but not looked at me.

Boots, jeans, Ramones T shirt, Leather MC jacket, messy hair…hmmmm?

But Tristan is telling me some thing, but I am listening to this guy stading outside on a freezing day talk to another kid (they are all waiting for a bus or something) ..and he says

” I am waiting for my mom, I haven’t seen her in …..mumble years”

Other kid leaves, MC boy stays. Yeah, got to go.

I walk over to him..and he is paying NO attention to me whats so ever…we’re both smoking..and I say to him:

“Who are you wating for?”

“Is that you?” He says..coming over, huge smile, arms open…

“Yeah…” Hug…big super fucking hug..ahhhhh

“OMG it’s really you”

I am Hugging My Son Again Finally

OK so that was like 1:30.

We go up to the dorm, he shows me about, we freeze to my car, we drive about College town, he shows me about, we drive to his home town, he shows me about….all the while we are talking talking talking about EVERYTHING. Talk talk talk…no silence, no awkward, no nothing….just too freaking motor mouths.. blah blah blah…laughing..OMG he has SUCH a MA accent!!!

So we decide to eat…we go to the mall..whatever I don’t I can eat?

I have been to that mall before..I went there while PG..I went there with him..we sat at the damn food court while him in me, I went there after giving birth and THAT was the mall that I walked with with aching legs to buy him his book and Max doll.

And we proceed to sit in the food court and talk in his home town mall for…about 3 hours….four?

It is amazing of course. He is amazing..of course. It is just as I know it will be.

We are just hanging and out and talking like we are great close pals that have not see each other in…forever…but we know each other..even though we don’t. We have a lot of catching up to do. Nothing is an elephant. Nothing is taboo. It’s all good…our feelings so we take it in..same.

We talk about it all…past his life my life parents, siblings…it just IS. We sit and list the same things about us…..our favorite foods, asking questions…marvel and degree Nature as the clear winner…kicking nurtures ASS big time.

And yeah, we finish each others sentences…at least once…and what a doozie!!

Nature verses Nuture

Somehow we talk about if I die, that him being an adult over 18 might bump my brother as the decision maker…so we get to what funeral burial things we prefer..and it is the formaldehyde  plain pine box, eaten by worms…and we both say “bury me like a Jew“…and then sit there in total shock and awe.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I have NEVER met another human being that says “Bury me like a Jew” before. I say it, but I have NEVER said it to my son. There is NO WAY Max would know I say that and he would have no reason to say the same thing, at the same moment, in the exact same wording, based on the same feelings. Crazy!

We go back to the dorm.. give him silly little gifts, he hangs up the art that S & T sent on his walls. We take pictures..not so much..we were really preoccupied, but are counting on his GF to do that on Sunday.

We look at his baby pics that I brought, his baby clothes, he marvels at his baby hair….we just talk and talk and is 10 pm. We have had a nine and a half hour conversation.

I am very tired. It is late. My brother called me He walks me back to the car. I drive him back…he puts his number in my phone..more hugs we will talk and hang on Sunday.
He must take me to that restaurant.
I drive back to Matt’s..I get lost.
I do not care.

I am happy.
I am happy.
I am oh so very happy.

I am tired. I am going to sleep. See us being happy.

There’s more..a man in a cow suit, Jack Nicholson staring at us, but I need to sleep’s 2 am, but I promised pictures…see his Pirate flag?

This is totally up there with the best days EVA!

Continue reading…More Details About the Adoption Reunion 

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About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine,, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

76 Comments on "Meeting My Adopted Son For the First Time"

  1. OH MY GOD, I cecked one last time before bed and here it is. I am so excited, I read out loud to my husband, crying and shouting at different parts. Oh Claud I am so HAPPY for you. What an exciting time, and the mall where you got the famous book and doll is the mall you end up in….wow.


  2. Oh the pictures, loved them. I said to hubby, look at them, do they look happy or what? They look so alike, the smiles everything and he said “No, kidding, even their vibe is the same!”

  3. of course I am up late, waited all day for update, sat here frozen reading,,

    frozen reading like it was a dream,, a beautifull dream

    I so hope that you are enjoying every second of this high,,you deserve it


  4. This is the most amazing feeling – I’m living vicariously through you!!!
    You and Max fit like a glove.
    LOVE the photos.
    He is gorgeous – just so like his mum.
    So very very happy for you both.
    Enjoy every second.
    Biggest hugs, Poss. xxx

  5. YaY!!

    You just shine with joy in the photos, I love reunion photos.

    I am so so very very happy for you.

  6. I got up early to check your blog and read your Max and Me posting without taking a breath. You look like two peas in a pod. I wish you the best of luck as you continue your reunion journey.

    Happy G’Ma


    Honestly, I couldn’t stop smiling through that whole post and looking at the pictures, WOW!! Resemblances galore! I am so very happy for you! How wonderful! 😀

  8. What a wonderful reunion. I have to admit it hit me hard. I ended up crying which is totally out of character for me.

    You are a great looking mother and son. Focus on each other and enjoy!

  9. I’ll admit I jumped to the pictures part first 🙂

    Wow. Wow. Wowowowowwowowowowowowow.

    Am so so so so happy.

    And crying. And happy. And happy for you.

  10. totally same smile. more to come!

  11. How awesome to read. And you two have the same beautiful smile!

  12. I am going to have to come back and read this all over again, I loved it that much. You two look SO happy! And I am SUPER happy for you Claude!!! How entirely amazing.

  13. Oh my God Claud, I am sitting here bawling like a baby. Sweetie, there are no words. I am so happy for you, I just can’t stand it. Bask in it love… savor each moment. You’ve waited so long, so long. Many big huge hugs, high fives and wishes for so many more years for you to share.

    Love, Teresa

  14. count me in with the crying crowd.
    beautiful. he is so handsome. you are such a beautiful mom. so happy for you gf. lots of love. suz

  15. Um no tears here, just a RIDICULOUSLY huge grin. All my coworkers are going to think I’m high…

    Claud, this. just. um.

    Okay there aren’t words for it.

    My god but you two look happy. And you know you keep saying how happy YOU are, but he looks JUST as thrilled, yeah, he cares about you. LOTS.

    Have to go to meeting, will be back.


  16. How cool! I’m so thrilled for you and Max 🙂

    Congrats on actually seeing your son again!!!!

  17. Anonymous | March 9, 2007 at 2:41 pm |

    Wohay! Boootiful.

    From Kippa (Got to use ‘anonymous’ because evil blogger has rejected me)

  18. Congratulations! Sounds wonderful. He’s beautiful!

  19. He is beautiful.

    I got tears and I almost NEVER cry. I am so happy for you. Thank you for being here, for posting this. It has given me so much hope.

  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

  21. Anonymous | March 9, 2007 at 3:17 pm |

    I read and read hoping and hoping I could see a picture!!! This is great. congratulations. Thank you so much for sharing this. It really has hit this chord in me that I cannot describe. You both look great — and you look so happy.


  22. OH Claude!!!
    You both look SO excited and happy, just so comfortable w/ each other, just as it should be OMG!! Reunion photos always make me cry, laugh and smile at the same time!!

    Congrats!!!!! OMG! This is just the beginning of something SO very wonderful!!!! and yep you can def tell he is your son!!!!


  23. Congratulations! I can’t tell who is happier in those pictures. He has great taste in music, too! I’m so happy for you!

  24. Claud and Max,
    peace- and hugs- and those to your toes smiles. They are electrical!

    I cried too. Mostly cause it brought back my “bliss day” 2 years ago.
    I am so happy for you. It is so over the top to even try and describe the joy.

    A new star formed last night. remember, when you are apart, you still see the same stars.

  25. [sniff, sniff] That’s me wiping my eyes and being all Hallmark moment. The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them. I think you had one of those moments. Thank you so much for sharing…and what a handsome kid you have!

  26. Addie pray | March 9, 2007 at 3:51 pm |

    That is so wonderful, I so happy for both of you.

    You both do have the same smile, you know.

  27. Oh my god. Claud, I can’t believe it’s this time. Yes….ok…I am crying too……I feel all the feelings I remember meeting my mom…

    and thinking how lucky he is to have all that time erased and have his mom back.

    And such a great mom.

    I am so happy for you Claud.

  28. Awesome! I’m crying here.

    You two look like male and female of the same doll, it is amazing how much you look alike.

  29. So very happy for you both, Claud!!
    You look so much alike. Both just radiate joy in the photos.

  30. yup that was what it was like for us too.

    Nature is pretty powerful stuff

  31. Wicked pissah excellent (old Bostonese,just ask Max). Very cool that he is into the Ramones. Dig the pirate flag. The physical resemblance is just amazing.

  32. What an amazing moment. I’m so happy for both of you. Hmmmm, the resemblance is uncanny – imagine that. Have a great time on Sunday!

  33. I just snotted ALL over myself. And then I bounced around. And then I looked at the pictures over and over.

    Oh, Claud. My heart is so happy for you.

  34. Anonymous | March 9, 2007 at 7:53 pm |

    Claud…this is my first reunion and I can’t believe the effect it is having on me…I too have a ridiculously huge grin that I can’t get rid of…I have looked at the pictures over and over and over….I feel so good for you and for Max…it really is him…after reading your story so many times I felt like it was so real and now to see the culmination…GOD what a totally cool end, beginning, end, beginning…it’s both and it is grand!!!

    Thanks for letting us all enjoy the heartache and the anger and the love and finally the reunion!!!


  35. Anonymous | March 9, 2007 at 7:57 pm |

    claud, can you post the one of you and max after he was born next to the ones of you with him now? those are my favorite, you can see how much has changed, and most important HOW MUCH HAS STAYED THE SAME!!!

  36. I was looking at the pictures again..and again…this time Spencer was looking too and I was explaining to him about your story and he says wow mom she was cool to look for her boy would you look for me if I were adopted!!?? Which lead to a whole other conversation…but the last thing he said is man mommy he is cool just like me he loves pirates!!!


  37. came home to read it again. so so amazing. just amazed. can’t wait for sunday and the next…

  38. Lauren from AI | March 10, 2007 at 12:01 am |

    Tears of joy and happiness for you!!!!!!!! Sending tons and tons of hugs and good vibes your way! The joy in BOTH of your hearts shines through so brightly in those pics–i can do nothing but cry tears of joy for you!

  39. Lauren from AAI :-) | March 10, 2007 at 12:05 am |

    May the rest of your visit also be as bliss filled as this one was!
    (oops on the last post–I’m from AAI lol)

  40. OMG! How beautiful you guys are together! I am sitting here in tears too. I was so hoping you’d post pics!

  41. You two are so beautiful with your huge big gorgeous grins!! I am so happy for you both!

  42. Amazing!

    Both of you beaming…and beautiful.

    He looks radiant. So joyful.

    Of course you are proud of him. But how proud he looks of you! I don’t know…it’s the…”This is MY Mom” look in his eyes…like he can’t believe his fantasy just came true. And BTW, cute outfit!

    I am happy for you – really – but as an adoptee, I am happy for him that you were on the other end of reunion.

  43. sooo happy for you!! cant even put into words how much. Every time i see a mom reunite with her kid, it gives me so much hope.

    I wish you and yours all the best.You sure deserve it.

  44. Oh my goodness, I hope you don’t mind me saying but he is a BABE! (So are you!)I am so happy for you!!!!!!!

  45. KUDOS to Max’s Mother and Father- his parents-you know0the ones who raised him and have loved him for his entire life? They alone deserve the credit for what a nice young man he appears to be… they are his parents.

  46. claud, I agree wth Anonmyous. Max Adoptive parents did a wonderful job raising your child. Course, you gave them such a beautiful sone with such good genes. Hard not to raise such a great kid considering his mother, huh?

  47. Ahhhh, Claud, so fabulous 🙂 Congratulations!!

  48. I’m sick of these anonymous people. If you have something shitty to say, don’t be a coward about it. Of course you will always hide behind anonimity because none of you have the guts to share your personal life with the people you’re insulting.

  49. No, maybe it is because we respect our personal lives- but feel compelled enough out of respect for human life and parents rights to hopefully help open some of the closed minds that linger here.

  50. Ok, had a HUMONGOUS ‘knee-jerk’ reaction to a post here.

    Waited awhile so as not to stick my foot in my mouth….nope, can’t do it. I HAVE to say something.

    Anonymous, are you SO miserable, SO sniveling that you just have to TRY to rain on someone else’s parade??

    Is your life SO miserable, your pain/anger so great that you just can’t stand to see anyone happy!?

    IMO Claude said absolutely nothing derogatory towards Max’s parents here, nothing at all. So why the bug up your ass?

    …and “Anonymous”. Guess you can’t sign your name as you’ll can’t even make a comment w/out typos.

    and yes I’m a birth mother (labels don’t bother me, first/natural mother…whatever you want to call me. I know who I am as does my daughter and that’s all that matters) so I can understand the excitement, the emotions, the beauty of a child being reunited w/ their mother.

    Did the raw happiness and pure delight on Max’s face offend you?

    Do you honestly think your comments affect Claude?

    I think she is very generous in giving you mosquitoes a place to hang out.

    and to the 3rd anonymous.

    I respect my personal life as well, but have the balls to sign my name anytime I make a comment on a blog (even when I stick my foot in my mouth)


  51. you guys crack me up… “Max Adoptive parents did a wonderful job raising your child.” ?????
    Max’s parents did a WONDERFUL job raising THEIR child.

  52. Diane, you seem to misled. I am happy for Max if this is what Max wanted – and yes, he looks very happy in the photos and he is old enough to decide that journey -so I wish him all the best! However, there are other voices in the story that are not heard – and maybe all the anon posters fill that gap. Still, minds here are not open and bitterness and anger foam with every response – never once open to any opinion but your own – I am sad for all your bitterness… this anon poster is done.

  53. to the anons who are unkind…
    first of all…all that should matter is max, and it is beyond obvious how he feels by the pure joy captured on his face in these pics. his aparents raised HER son. that is beyond obvious too. put a pic up of him with his aparents and the one up of him and claud and a near blind person could pick out who he really belongs to, in his soul and in HIS blood. it’s got a whole lot to do with blood and genes!

  54. everyone on here was thrilled until a bitter adoptive mother had to chime in about giving max’s parents who raised him their kudos…when this has NOTHING to do with them!

  55. Anonymous #4

    You call me by name, respond to my post, make assumptions about me as tho’ you know me. Perhaps I misread and you are refering to a group, and not just me. Regardless, you state you are “done”. Way to go. Way to have an intelligent conversation. Sling daggers, then retreat anonymously. Yep.

    You can’t state your name, so I agree w/ you. You are “done”.

    Claude, sorry to take up space on your blog responding to bullshit. I will refrain from here on out.

    I agree w/ the previous commenter. Your post is in celebration of a reunion of mother and child.
    Anyone who can’t accept the reality of that and understand the emotions and the happiness which it brings simply should not be commenting IMO.


  56. YAY!!!! Fantastic! You look perfect together. Congratulations. 🙂

  57. Anonymous #1: There’s that word: “CREDIT.” The one loathed and despised by this adoptee. The implication: GRATITUDE. The two are linked. Why do adoptive parents need credit? Why are kudos required? I’m a bio parent. When someone says something nice about one of my responsible, lovely daughters, I don’t expect credit from the outside world. I am proud of what THEY have accomplished and the young ladies they have become. Parenthood isn’t like a movie with rolling credits.

  58. Despite the slight distraction here – I am still enjoying basking in her sunshine. Ahhhh, sigh, smile, happy heart, memories of the scent of my babies. (I still feel weak at the knees.)

    Happy G’Ma

  59. I can’t believe how much alike you look, same big grin too! Congrats Claud.

  60. This is the day I’ve been waiting for since I began reading your blog!

    I’m sooooooo happy for you and Max! He’s a handsome devil! 🙂

    Thanks so much for sharing this moment (and some pictures) with us!

  61. I like what Diane said so I am seconding it! Go Diane!

  62. First, Claud, I am so, so happy for you and your son.
    Second, as an adult adoptee currently in reunion myself, I have been doing a lot of research on this topic and most experts agree that the adoptive parents who have the hardest time with adoptee reunions are usually those still struggling with and now being forced to confront their own issues with infertility.
    It’s interesting that there are people out there that seem ti be chomping at the bit to cut you down. I wonder who they’re really trying to convince.
    Adoption does not eradicate the fact that I was born to someone else. Adoption creates a situation where a child has many parents, that’s why it is called a triad.
    Claud, I wish you and your son much love and peace in your reunion.

  63. Well I’m still smiling, can’t help it.

    And since Dawn already said, I’m gonna echo her and say… Yes, Max is a BABE! LOL. Though that’s not surprising, considering his gene pool. =)

    ((Hugs)) Claud. I’m just so, so thrilled for you guys.

  64. Claud, I am so thrilled this day finally came for you. You are both stunningly gorgeous and I adore the ginormous grins on both your faces (which look amazingly alike, good lord). Thank you for sharing your day with us.

  65. How wonderful for you and your son!

    Fabulous pictures! Many congratulations!

  66. Can’t stay out of it sorry. Anon, Claud gave Max’s parents ample opportinity to “have their voices heard” and they didn’t care on whit about Max’s feelings,all they did was bitch that she contacted him a few weeks before his 18th birthday then refuse to respond to her hesrtfelt letter apologizing.

    They could have been part of his obvious joy if they had only supported him. But,they chose to wallow in fear and insecurity and entitlement of “kudos”

    As I told my son’s first mom the other day, I am simply nurturing his nature, with her firmly in the picture to help.

  67. I am so happy for you 🙂 you really deserve being with him and being happy 🙂


  68. I am thrilled for you both. You must be floating on a cloud right about now. You both look so great together! Happy days!


  69. Yay! Love the pics! Can’t wait to hear the rest!

  70. oh my claud…
    I can’t even begin to speak…. thank god for keyboards. THIS is the moment that matters. Here it all is. And so mother and son finally back together. FINALLY. I got so, taken from the memories of the mall, how much you have anticipating this. CLAUD. ((((claud))))) ((((Max))))) and how ALIKE you two are…well duh! mother and son, but isn’t it unreal. truly great. I am so happy for you. So pissed i’ve been offline for so long and missed this until now, but so happy.

  71. Coolest. Post. Ever.

  72. What a wonderful reunion, beautiful son, great day! I met you at AAC right after you met him, laughed at your funny tee shirts. I’m Marley’s friend. Congratulations and wishes for happy relationship with your son for the rest of your lives. You are so fortunate it worked out well now with you both so young. Enjoy, enjoy…

  73. I am so sorry for the late comment, Claud – I’ve been out of town and subsequently swamped at worked – but I just want to say AWESOME!! ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!!!

    The photos are wonderful, the joy radiates out to us all. Thanks for sharing this tremendous moment! Max is great!

  74. Beautiful. Big smile.

  75. I’m very late to the party here – but these pictures made me cry. He – and you – together are so very beautiful.

  76. So Claudia, I had gone to your website awhile back but didn’t see ALL these blogs. I started reading the reunion entries from the beginning tonight. I got this far, so far! Great story, thus far. You have a perfect reunion story and you and Max are so, so similar! Can’t wait to read the rest of the entries tomorrow! This story definitely made me cry happy tears!!!!

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