Professional Rabble Rouser and Online Activist
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. She originally began independently researching adoption issues in preparation of the successful search and reunion with her own son, Max, whom was placed for adoption in 1987.
Growing Online as a Birthmother
From humble beginnings on the now defunct Adoption Cafe and MSN Group Adoption Message boards, her knowledge of adoption and the internet grew together. From forums, to blogs, to the rise in social networking, Claudia has continued to see the internet as a powerful tool that allows isolated communities to find each other and, most importantly, find their voices and be heard. She has become a forerunner in the use of social networking for the online adoption community.
Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding.
Adoption to Corporations and Back to Adoption Again
Professionally, her work with the adoption community lead her to a career as a corporate blogger and SEO copywriter. Her writings have been published under many pen names.
She is the former the Director of Social Media at DragonSearch, an internet marketing firm in the Hudson Valley. In July 2012, she left this position to focus full time on the needs of the adoption community and launch her own consulting business with Adopting Social. This life change allows her to practice what she preaches to her clients; follow your passions, be real, and you never know where you might end up.
Indeed, the internet has opened many new doors to adventures for Claudia, both privately and professionally. Hence, why the ROI of social media is not something that can be measured.
The Journey Cannot Be Measured
Since becoming active, Claudia also initiated a search for her son adopted at birth. She later found and contacted Max directly through MySpace in 2005, long before Facebook became the adoption search tool of choice. After almost 2 years of contact, they met for the first time in March ’07. All four of her children were reunited later the same year.
Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She is a member of the Land of a Gazillion Adoptees team and serves on the board of directors of the Adoptee Rights Coalition.
She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. Most recently, she authored a piece for The New York Times’s parenting blog, becoming the first birthmother published on the Motherlode.
She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.
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Read the latest posts from Claud below:
By Lori Holden Question: My son came to me 9 months ago from a Caribbean island. He’s now 3 ½ years old and adjusting quite well. When I went to get him, I met his birth family — his birth mom, half-sister, and paternal aunt. They love my son and wish him the best and I really liked them … Continue reading Boundaries: Our Adoption Agency Warns About Extortion →
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By Mirah Riben Recently CBS News reported on what they called “The New Fatherhood,” which featured two men: physician Conrad Cean and photographer Alan Cresto, each of whom decided to be a parent, without a partner. Each purchased eggs and hired a surrogate to carry a child for them, intentionally creating motherless children.
Clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg appeared on the segment applauding their family-building, joining the CBS News anchors in admiring the men’s choice to be fathers. There was no recognition in the entire news report of the controversy surrounding surrogacy, which is illegal in most of the world and which has a movement in the U.S.to ban it. Nor any mention that anonymous gamete donation is banned in 11 countries or that there are efforts to offer alternatives here.
The promos for the CBS News report described the segment as: single men “having” babies “all alone” because “their biological clocks were ticking, too.” Men and women can raise children alone, but they cannot “have” them “all alone” and suggesting that they can totally negates and dehumanizes half of their children’s read more…
By Lori Holden I had the pleasure of dining last week with a half-dozen women who farm Colorado land. Over a delicious meal to which they certainly contributed, I got to find Common Ground with these farmers. Less than 2% of our population provides food for 100% of our population. — Ann Cross, CommonGroundCO Ann is part of … Continue reading Tasty Tidbits: Farmers on Farming →
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By Lori Holden My last post touched on the debate spurred by publicity for Amy Seek’s new memoir, God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birth Mother. I started with a courtroom scene but decided to go this route instead. (You don’t have to have read that book to get this post.) Rorschach Test I see the debate about … Continue reading Does Open Adoption Work? →
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By Lori Holden Note: Though tempting, please do not comment on the headline only without reading the full post. Recent publicity for Amy Seek’s new memoir, God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birth Mother seems to have put open adoption on trial. Amy Seek, a landscape architect and writer living in London, gives readers an account of her … Continue reading Amy Seek’s God and Jetfire: Open Adoption on Trial →
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By Susie Six years ago today, I had been in reunion with Christopher for 7 months and 3 days. Six years ago today, I realized just how much I really lost when I lost him to adoption.Six years ago today, Christopher and his wife welcomed their beautiful baby girl into the world.Six years ago today, the reality hit me that I not only lost my son to adoption, I also lost my grandchildren…Happy 6th Birthday sweet Brooklyn ~ Grandma Susie loves you more than you will ever know. I hope that one year I will be able to celebrate your birthday with you in person. I hope you enjoy your present as much as I enjoyed being able to send it you!
Read at the Source: : Finding Christopher, Finding Myself
By AstridBeeMom We all know there is a huge debate in the adoption community about the ethics surrounding breastfeeding in adoptive mothers. Some have even gone so far as to call this practice child abuse. The reasons stated for this will not be the same reasons that I give, however, I understand the sentiment. I have more concrete reasons for considering this child abuse. There are a wide array of reasons that people argue for and against breastfeeding in adoptive mothers. My argument will be more specific and will follow simple medical logic. Regardless of your feelings on adoption, I would hope that with facts in hand you will all see how truly horrid breastfeeding is when it comes to adoptive mothers.
First let’s take a look at how breast milk is produced in a pregnant/post-natal mother. We all know that our bodies are designed to nurture our children. The natural process includes many things and the production of breast milk needed to sustain a newborn is definitely one of the major ones.
An article on Baby Center gives a general read more…
By Lori Holden This is a cucumber plant in our yard. I did not put it there. I planted cucumbers about 75 feet away in a carefully tended garden. But this rogue cuke somehow grounded itself in the rocks, near the children’s swing set and assorted pairs of stomping feet. Stubborn thing. ~~~~~ In that carefully tended garden, … Continue reading Bloom Where You’re Planted →
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By Susie I’ve been in an adoption funk again for the last couple of weeks. I know it’s partially because a planned visit to see Christopher in July didn’t happen due to my getting another kidney stone a couple of days before I was supposed to go. Now we are finding it difficult to find time when we are both free at the same time. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen him, two years since I’ve seen his children. I miss them dearly.The funk felt bigger than that though. On facebook the other night, someone had posted a link to a site that calculates your probable conception date according to the date of birth. Since I was bored, I clicked on the link and was going to punch in my kids’ birthdays, starting with the first one ~ Christopher’s birthday. Then I see. Huh… Does the body, the heart and soul remember? It’s probably exactly 37 years ago, give or take a day or five, that I became pregnant with my firstborn son lost to adoption.The Birthday was: Tuesday, May 8, 1979Conception Date:Tuesday, August 15, 1978Implantation Dates: Between Monday, August 21, 1978 and Sunday, August 27, read more…
By Lori Holden Question: For adoptive families who do not have contact with birth families due to a variety of situations — perhaps their child was adopted internationally or through a relinquished/closed domestic infant adoption, and they did not receive much if any info about the child’s birth family — what would you recommend for how to raise … Continue reading When There’s No Birth Parent Information to Share →
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By Mirah Riben Donald Trump came out of the gate attacking immigrants and (with the help of Fox’s Megyn Kelly) has kept the discussions centered on his complaint du jour: McCain, women, “political correctness.”
Donald Trump didn’t create divisiveness. It was always there.
I grew up in 1950s Brooklyn. Ethnic slurs were part of everyday life. Edith and Archie Bunker were depictions of people not unlike my parents. Ya’ had yer ‘Guineas,’ yer ‘Chinks,’ yer ‘Hebes,’ ‘Spics,’ ‘Ruskies,’ and ‘faggots.’ I don’t recall hearing the “N word” (common in other parts of the country) but I did hear the Italian (moulinyan) and German/Jewish (schwartze) words for “black” used derogatorily. That’s simply the way it was. We were all immigrants and all fighting for our piece of the pie. Dog eat dog. Those who grew up in the South were accustomed to other disparaging labels such as ‘crackers,’ ‘damn Yankees,’ and a smorgasbord of insulting terms for Blacks.
Cultural mores and language evolve and change over time. In the 60s, some of us became sensitive to marginalized populations, especially if we lived in or attended schools read more…
By Cassi I have come to know so many First Moms in my years fighting for Adoption Reform, Adoptee Rights, and even Father’s rights. Some I consider my greatest friends. Wonderful allies in this knock-down, painful world of adoption and the fight to change it. Then there are those who I often disagree with. Believe are playing right into the coercion and manipulation the adoption industry seeks. Pushing and encouraging more vulnerable, pregnant mothers into giving up their babies to make themselves feel better for their own experiences.And though it’s no secret that I am often frustrated and angry with these First Moms, I also have an understanding, in my heart and mind, of what they have gone through. I know the counseling they’ve had. The messages they’ve received from society. I can understand, on a level, why they do what they do. Why it’s so important to them to push adoption as some wonderful thing that creates only read more…
By Mirah Riben Lorraine Dusky is an accomplished journalist and author. She has made a career of writing, a career which led her to meeting the father of her daughter. It is also a career which contributed to her feeling the need to hide the shame of her “out of wedlock” 1960s pregnancy and then to hide the evidence born of that illicit affair by placing her daughter for adoption.
In Hole in My Heart: Memoir and Report from the Fault Lines of Adoption, Lorraine shares her journey of loss with brave and brutal honesty.
The backdrop for Lorraine’s story is the 1960s, a time when neither cancer nor infertility nor sex were spoken about aloud, a time of morality incomprehensible to today’s youth. Unmarried girls and women who “got themselves in trouble” (became pregnant) were shunned by their families and sworn to lifetimes of secrecy lest no man would ever want to marry them. It was the single worst sin a girl could commit.
Lorraine first went “public” in a courtroom in 1973. In 1975, after gaining the loving support of her read more…
By Susie I ordered the new adoption memoir “A Life Let Go: A Memoir and Five Birth Mother Stories of Closed Adoption”.As I was reading the reviews for the book on Amazon, I found my breath taken away by one of them. One sentence in particular:”…true story of a pregnant teen hiding in the house, frozen and blind to all possibility beyond invisibility, as a baby grew in the dark and a mother weds herself to shame” “a mother weds herself to shame”Yes.That so perfectly describes happened The shame of the evidence of my lost virginity at only 15 years old. Not shame of the baby growing in the dark, it was shame of my sexuality.The shame of my 15 year old self with visible proof that I really wasn’t a “good girl”. Shame that society handed to me and that I so willingly put on myselfShame that only reinforced the belief I already had that I wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t worthy of the love that I craved. Therefore, my child deserved so much more than I had to give him.He deserved more than me.*sigh*I wish I could go back and talk to that 15 year read more…
By Lori Holden My article is the cover story for the current issue of the magazine Pathway2Family, which aims to apply what we now know about infant adoption to the realm of embryo adoption. Biology Matters, And That’s Why Openness Does, Too Below is an excerpt from the Summer/Fall 2015 issue of Pathway 2 Family. *** Why not … Continue reading Cover Story: Biology Matters in Embryo Adoption →
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