• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

About Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy

Professional Rabble Rouser and Online Activist

Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy Adoption ActivistClaudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. She originally began independently researching adoption issues in preparation of the successful search and reunion with her own son, Max, whom was placed for adoption in 1987.

Growing Online as a Birthmother

From humble beginnings on the now defunct Adoption Cafe and MSN Group Adoption Message boards, her knowledge of adoption and the internet grew together. From forums, to blogs, to the rise in social networking, Claudia has continued to see the internet as a powerful tool that allows isolated communities to find each other and, most importantly, find their voices and be heard. She has become a forerunner in the use of social networking for the online adoption community.

Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding.

Adoption to Corporations and Back to Adoption Again

Professionally, her work with the adoption community lead her to a career as a corporate blogger and SEO copywriter. Her writings have been published under many pen names.

She is the former the Director of Social Media at DragonSearch, an internet marketing firm in the Hudson Valley. In July 2012, she left this position to focus full time on the needs of the adoption community and launch her own consulting business with Adopting Social. This life change allows her to practice what she preaches to her clients; follow your passions, be real, and you never know where you might end up.

Indeed, the internet has opened many new doors to adventures for Claudia, both privately and professionally. Hence, why the ROI of social media is not something that can be measured.

The Journey Cannot Be Measured

Since becoming active, Claudia also initiated a search for her son adopted at birth. She later found and contacted Max directly through MySpace in 2005, long before Facebook became the adoption search tool of choice. After almost 2 years of contact, they met for the first time in March ’07. All four of her children were reunited later the same year.

Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She is  a member of the Land of a Gazillion Adoptees team and serves on the board of directors of the Adoptee Rights Coalition.

She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. Most recently, she authored a piece for The New York Times’s parenting blog, becoming the first birthmother published on the Motherlode.

She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

 

 Read the latest posts from Claud below:


Sally and Sherri Shepherd Surrogacy Shenanigans

So Sherri Shepherd? It’s NOT going to be her genetic child. She has NO biological connection to this child because it was NOT her eggs.
She won’t give birth to this child as the gestational surrogate is carrying it for her. She cannot relinquish because she really has NO hold on this baby anyway. read more…

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The Highs and Lows of The Birthmother Chapter

Whats More Evil? The word “Birthmother” or the fights caused over it? So, while I hate, hate, hate, the adoption terminology wars and refuse to participate in them, I’m going to break my rules because I also hate, hate, hate assumptions and all the rest too. And since I was literally forced to deal with this today, rather than just enjoying the printed thrills of having my book come in the mail, I’m going to go there. read more…

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Top Ten Levels of Adoptoraptor

Not ALL Adoptive Parents Are Adoptoraptors. Now is this an insulting term? Most definitely. It is actually supposed to be an insult. One really does not want to aspire to sink to the depths of a true “adoptoraptor”. If you happen to find that fit into the actual description of the term, then you should probably go sit in a corner and rethink your life. read more…

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A 1966 Era “In Family ” Adoptee Looks Back on Childhood and Reunion and Says…

I am an adoptee given up by my birth mother in 1966. I was adopted within the family, so grew up with my biological grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins around me. I was raised being told that my mother was my “Aunt Annie”. My adoptive parents (aunt and uncle, whom I called mom and dad) were terribly insecure and once the secret was out that I knew “Aunt Annie” was no aunt to me at all, my adoptive parents became extremely controlling about my access to and communication with my birth mother. read more…

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Birthmother Wars; When the Positive Fight the Negative

“This Support Group is SO Negative!”

Lately, it seems that someone who feels “Ok’ about their choice, will express displeasure at what they see as lack of support. Which pretty much ends up being another long drawn out discussion where the Polly Positives complain about the Negative Nancys and the Negative Nancys defend their right to be negative. Rinse, wash, repeat. read more…

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The Act of Redemption in the Adoption Process

Yes, if I am trying to be completely honest and self aware, then I have to admit that some aspect of my motivation to do this work, my obsession with all things adoption, is a form of redemption. I can see that I am making up for the mistake of relinquishment, but I am not 100% sure who I am redeeming myself to. read more…

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You Have His Eyes Premier; Adoption Film Screening in Boston

WHEN: Saturday, June 28th at 11: 30 a.m.
WHERE: Alfond Auditorium.
WHY: Roxbury International Film Festival; Boston, MA
WHAT: Film Premier of “You Have His Eyes” read more…

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The Twisted Logic of Being a Birthmother

How can we be “good” if we do relinquish, but “bad” for considering the act that would eventually be “good”? Does not the final goodness cancel out the bad? read more…

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New Dayton Ohio Area Adoption Support Group!

First meeting of Dayton Ohio Adoption support group will be on June 19th, 2014 at Vandalia Rec Center.in Dayton, OH. Open to birth parents, adult adoptees, siblings, adoptive parents, and significant others In conjunction with Adoption Network Cleveland. read more…

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Supporting iReunion

If you have ever searched, then you know that the numbers of “online adoption reunion registries” is daunting. There is no lack of places to look through or to register with, but many are outdated, cumbersome and really NOT searchable. There comes a time when one must say “it’s time to build a better mousetrap”. Enter iReunion. iReunion is a new adoption search and reunion that is an App based program designed to search FOR YOU! Once you register and if no internal match be found, the software will search web-based sources for a potential match. It will actually network with over half a million other registries beyond the internal listings. It searches 24/7 on your behalf and gives you back any potential matches. read more…

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Addressing My Racist Contributions to the Birthparent Activist Panel

When I really look at my own attitudes towards racism, then I am no different than the white adoptive parents who refuse to see the racism that their children experience because they are also “not racists.” Just because a person refuses to see it, doesn’t mean it is not there and, in this case, doesn’t mean that they can’t blunder into it. In fact the refusal to even think about the impact of my own words because I was so above it meant that I did, in reality, contribute. I can’t even say it is a silence that created my complicity, but a refusal to even consider the possibility that made it possible. read more…

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AdoptionLand Reading May 2014

Grandma’s Experiences Leave a Mark on Your Genes with genome regulation and methylation, Why DO People Insist on Believing Things that Aren’t True and how to be heard- aka Online Attack For Choosing Adoption Is Not OK and Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Pregnancy in Prison plus a really kick ass comment! read more…

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Adoptee Mary Gauthier at the Rosendale Cafe in New York 2014

Where: Rosendale Cafe 434 Main St.m in Rosendale, NY 12472 845.658.9048
When: June 13, 2014 – 8:00 pm
Why: An Evening with Mary Gauthier
Tickets: $20 at the Cafe ( get there early for a seat and get dinner! ) read more…

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National Council For Adoption’s 2014 National Adoption Conference in Florida

The National Council For Adoption will host the 2014 National Adoption Conference at the Buena Vista Palace in Orlando, Florida. I will not be attending but I DO implore that if anyone CAN, to please DO so. Our voices cannot be heard if we do not demand a seat at the table. read more…

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Join me in the New York  Screening of “Breeders: A Subclass of Women?” on June 18th

As I have long said that there is a strong correlation between what happens in surrogacy and what happens in adoption, so a film like Breeders is very important. It is an honest look at the risks of surrogate mothers and the commoditization of fertility and pregnancy, egg donations, and assisted reproductive technology in regard to human rights violations and women’s empowerment. Surrogacy is making all the same mistakes that have been made in adoption and have not yet learned from the past decades of education and awareness because the two have been seen as separate, but it’s really not very different. read more…

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