• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

About Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy

Professional Rabble Rouser and Online Activist

Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy Adoption ActivistClaudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. She originally began independently researching adoption issues in preparation of the successful search and reunion with her own son, Max, whom was placed for adoption in 1987.

Growing Online as a Birthmother

From humble beginnings on the now defunct Adoption Cafe and MSN Group Adoption Message boards, her knowledge of adoption and the internet grew together. From forums, to blogs, to the rise in social networking, Claudia has continued to see the internet as a powerful tool that allows isolated communities to find each other and, most importantly, find their voices and be heard. She has become a forerunner in the use of social networking for the online adoption community.

Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding.

Adoption to Corporations and Back to Adoption Again

Professionally, her work with the adoption community lead her to a career as a corporate blogger and SEO copywriter. Her writings have been published under many pen names.

She is the former the Director of Social Media at DragonSearch, an internet marketing firm in the Hudson Valley. In July 2012, she left this position to focus full time on the needs of the adoption community and launch her own consulting business with Adopting Social. This life change allows her to practice what she preaches to her clients; follow your passions, be real, and you never know where you might end up.

Indeed, the internet has opened many new doors to adventures for Claudia, both privately and professionally. Hence, why the ROI of social media is not something that can be measured.

The Journey Cannot Be Measured

Since becoming active, Claudia also initiated a search for her son adopted at birth. She later found and contacted Max directly through MySpace in 2005, long before Facebook became the adoption search tool of choice. After almost 2 years of contact, they met for the first time in March ’07. All four of her children were reunited later the same year.

Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She is  a member of the Land of a Gazillion Adoptees team and serves on the board of directors of the Adoptee Rights Coalition.

She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. Most recently, she authored a piece for The New York Times’s parenting blog, becoming the first birthmother published on the Motherlode.

She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

 

 Read the latest posts from Claud below:


Censoring the Truth and Issuing Lies

We get to the place where Adoption by Gentle Care is whining to the court to shut off the internet based on a concocted story peppered with false statements and more mistruths. So you are lying to prevent others from knowing that you are lying? Their logic, or lack of, just kills me. If they just stopped being “butts” as my kids would say, then I wouldn’t have to take about them being such butts. read more…

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Just Sitting with It; Not Fighting, Not Struggling, Not Suffering

This is my 27th year post relinquishment, so really, I know what to expect. I know what this feels like. I once wrote about this, comparing it to an old shroud, a mourning veil, a tired worn, threadbare sweater that I must wear until it falls off my bones. Hello darkness, my old friend. read more…

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Adoption by Gentle Care; A History of Unethical Choices

I personally am rather tired of having to explain to people that Carri and Camden’s case is not an isolated incident, but rather only part and partial of a long history of poor choices made by a greedy and unethical agency who has made it their business model to use, and abuse or ignore when it suits them, the current Ohio adoption laws to their personal advantage. If we are not so easily able to dismiss “just that one experience,” then I think it is clear that for Adoption by Gentle Care, this is not their first unethical rodeo by any means. This is how they do the business of adoption. read more…

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Adoption by Gentle Care Wins

The Pound Pup Legacy Annual Demons of Adoption Award

Upon a successful 2nd nomination and upon election within the Adoption community for rightfully pointed out the wrongdoings and condemned the practices Pound Pup Legacy hereby thus denounces the dubious honor of receiving the Eighth Annual Demons of Adoption Award in 2014 to:

Adoption by Gentle Care of Columbus, Ohio

Who shall now receive the most critical recognition in Adoption including the scorn, disgust, and public flogging pertaining hereto this most infamous recognition in the city of AdoptionLand, in the state of the Internet, on this tenth day of November in the year two thousand and fourteen. read more…

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Talking with Darrick Rizzo of The Open Adoption about National Adoption Month

Fantastic Adoption Interviews from theOpenAdoption.tv. Birth father and author Darrick Rizzo captures many attendees of the Adoption Initiative conference talking about Adoption for NAAM. Including me telling my Gotcha story and the hell the month of November. read more…

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Ohio’s House Bill 307 Unethical and Ignorant of the Reality of the Tactics of Ohio Adoption Agencies

You want to decrease abortions in Ohio, Mike Gonidakis? Good, then stop wasting your time being a mouth piece for the adoption industry and get behind bills that support a mother parenting her own child. Let’s help her have access to things like birth control so she can make choices proactively, or day care so she can support her children, or educational recourse so she can better herself. But stay out of the adoption debate, please. You have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the reality of how these laws are used in an adoption in Ohio. read more…

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25 Open Adoption Questions to Consider

What should I consider before agreeing to enter into an open adoption?

The following questions are by no means exhaustive. In fact these are just a few considerations that might lead to a deeper evaluation of both the practical and philosophical ideas of how the biological family, adoptive family and the adoptee may be impacted by an open adoption.

This is not a “pro-adoption” post. Open adoption is highlighted by many adoption agencies and used as a coercive tool. It is often shown in a manner that evokes imagery of play dates in the park without addressing the concerns that will eventually arise. This list of questions is intended move beyond a surface understanding and provide a deeper understanding of possible difficulties. read more…

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Has Adoption by Gentle Care Moved Camden Again to a Fourth Family?

I’m not sure why (if) Camden was moved again to a fourth family and why Adoption by Gentle Care did so now when the case is being appealed and the legal risk for any adoptive family is far from over. Of course, now another possible family has put their heart out on the line and is possibly involved. They are now open to be hurt. Is this the right thing to do to people? Is this looking out for their clients’, never mind the sick baby, best interests? read more…

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New York Times Reporter Interested in Talking to Birthmothers and Expectant Moms

I spent about 2 hours last week talking to Emily Brennan of the New York Times. She is looking to write a factual story about the birthmother of today. She was very nice, easy to talk to and understanding. As this piece is geared around a “modern” birth mothers; my own story and situation does not really apply. I cannot be a strong voice here. She is not looking to tell my story. She is looking to tell YOURS. read more…

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The Desperate Antics of Adoption Agencies; Finders Fees for Birthmother Recruitment

A Guardian Angel Adoptions is making it known that they want previous clients to do their marketing for them to help them find at risk mothers. The $500 is a finder’s fee. Which in itself is pretty damn gross, but let’s think about this; It’s NOT just for a simple referral. Notice the words “when they have completed a successful adoption” meaning .. when your friend has signed the irrevocable relinquishment consent form for her baby THEN you get the $500. read more…

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Understanding Ohio’s New OBC Adoption Records Law

What: Adoption Network Cleveland’s Miami-Valley General Support and Discussion Meeting Nov 2014
When: Thursday, November 20th 6:30 to 8:30 pm
Where: Vandalia Rec Center 1111 Stonequarry Road Dayton, Ohio
Who: Presented by Betsie Norris read more…

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2014 National Adoption Awareness Month

National Adoption Awareness Month? It’s the curse of November gathering on the horizon of my life; the looming shadow that darkens my days of fall, ruining my Halloween, making me anxious. November follows October and onward into National Adoption Awareness Month and the time leading up to Max’s birth and my “Gotcha” days. read more…

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865 Pages of Transcripts to Bring Camden Home!

The finial cost estimate for what is needed is 179, 317, and 379 pages at $5.50 a page. I’ll save you the math; it’s $4,700.00 and really should be ordered as soon as possible, like next week.
So, are we ready to make a miracle happen again? You help and support during this has been nothing short of amazing and only with YOU have we been able to keep this moving along. It’s not Adoption. It’s not Gentle. It’s not Care.
With your help, we can fight this and make it right. I know we can. I believe in us all. read more…

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Hey Media Folks- Anyone Want a REAL Story for National Adoption Month?

With National Adoption Month coming up in November, I am sure your publication is preparing heartwarming tales to highlight adoption. I would like to tell you about a story that doesn’t fall under the normal feel good, but is instead, a complete fallacy of everything we want to celebrate about adoption. It is a story about corrupting and the abuses of power. It is a story about a mother in crisis having that vulnerability exploited, trusting the wrong people and then fighting a system that wants to shut her down. The world needs to know about such injustices happening in the name of adoption. This is not adoption. It is the forcible separation of a family based on a wrongly interpreted law and repeated illegal acts. read more…

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Please Take the CUB “OPEN ADOPTION BETRAYAL” Survey

Fellow birth mother and researcher, Dr. Gail Hanssen Perry would like to know more about today’s betrayed open adoptions. She wants to compare today’s experiences with the findings of her doctoral research, “Extending Families: How Adoptive Parents Transition to Openness”, now 20 years old. This will not only enhances the CUB Retreat, but it could become part of a document CUB prepares to alert vulnerable pregnant couples to possible pitfalls. Gail and CUB Founder, Lee Campbell, have collaborated on a handout that includes a few questions for those who have been betrayed. I am happy to be able to make this into a online version for CUB and to help gather the information for them. If you are a Betrayed Birth Parent who was Promised More in Adoption than You Received, PLEASE Take the Survey! read more…

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