About Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy

Professional Rabble Rouser and Online Activist

Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy Adoption ActivistClaudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. She originally began independently researching adoption issues in preparation of the successful search and reunion with her own son, Max, whom was placed for adoption in 1987.

Growing Online as a Birthmother

From humble beginnings on the now defunct Adoption Cafe and MSN Group Adoption Message boards, her knowledge of adoption and the internet grew together. From forums, to blogs, to the rise in social networking, Claudia has continued to see the internet as a powerful tool that allows isolated communities to find each other and, most importantly, find their voices and be heard. She has become a forerunner in the use of social networking for the online adoption community.

Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding.

Adoption to Corporations and Back to Adoption Again

Professionally, her work with the adoption community lead her to a career as a corporate blogger and SEO copywriter. Her writings have been published under many pen names.

She is the former the Director of Social Media at DragonSearch, an internet marketing firm in the Hudson Valley. In July 2012, she left this position to focus full time on the needs of the adoption community and launch her own consulting business with Adopting Social. This life change allows her to practice what she preaches to her clients; follow your passions, be real, and you never know where you might end up.

Indeed, the internet has opened many new doors to adventures for Claudia, both privately and professionally. Hence, why the ROI of social media is not something that can be measured.

The Journey Cannot Be Measured

Since becoming active, Claudia also initiated a search for her son adopted at birth. She later found and contacted Max directly through MySpace in 2005, long before Facebook became the adoption search tool of choice. After almost 2 years of contact, they met for the first time in March ’07. All four of her children were reunited later the same year.

Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She is  a member of the Land of a Gazillion Adoptees team and serves on the board of directors of the Adoptee Rights Coalition.

She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. Most recently, she authored a piece for The New York Times’s parenting blog, becoming the first birthmother published on the Motherlode.

She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

 

 Read the latest posts from Claud below:


Whispers of Grace – FREE E-book Promotion – Royalties Benefit Saving Our Sisters

By AstridBeeMom As some of you may know, I have been writing a memoir of sorts for the past several months. It will be a series and the books are novellas. I have completed the first edition of book one entitled, “Whispers of Grace.” It is my story, with names changed, and I would love for you to read it. Starting Friday, May 29th, 2015 you can get a copy of “Whispers of Grace” for free on the Amazon Kindle (or the Amazon Kindle app for Android or iPhone) for 5 days. This promotion will run until June 2nd. For the first 90 days 25% of any royalties (after this promotional period) will go to Saving Our Sisters. After those 90 days 50% will go to Saving Our Sisters. The reason for this is because of Amazon’s fees during the first 90 days. This book will be free to all Amazon Kindle subscribers for 90 days. For those who don’t have a subscription, hurry and get it during the 5 day promotion.
If you would like to donate directly to Saving Our Sisters please email me at musingsofabirthmom@gmail.com
WHISPERS OF GRACE EBOOK ON AMAZON KINDLE
read more…

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My Particular Shade of Gray

By Lori Holden Aging is a humbling experience. (I see teens and twenty-somethings who primp and angst about their appearance and want to yell at them, DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW GOOD YOU LOOK WITHOUT EVEN TRYING?) First it was spider veins showing up on my thighs. Then crow’s feet near my eyes. I’m emotionally bracing myself in case … Continue reading My Particular Shade of Gray →
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Guilt, Coercion, Threats – A New Mom Changes Her Mind – SOS In Action

By AstridBeeMom As some of you may know, we are in the process of legitimizing our grassroots organization called Saving Our Sisters (SOS). The goal of SOS is to help vulnerable women avoid adoption relinquishment. Over the past couple of years the organization’s brain child and front-runner, Lynn Johansenn, has helped dozens of women, that had decided to utilize adoption, to keep their babies and successfully parent. SOS offers whatever support is needed to achieve this. Sometimes the support is emotional, sometimes financial, and sometimes legal. Most people who have been helping with this are members of the adoption community themselves. They include birth/first/natural mothers, adoptees, and even a couple of adoptive parents. When the alarm call is sounded, this vast network of people contributes to what is needed and we always end up with enough for the new mom.
Initially, when hearing about an expectant mother who is set on an adoption “plan,” she is approached gently and given the encouragement she needs to know she is worthy of read more…

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7 Things Search and Reunion Taught Me About My Adopted Mom

By Laura Marie Scoggins
When I received my original birth certificate from Ohio, one of the first things I did was show it to my adopted mom.
We ended up having one of the best conversations about my adoption that we’ve ever had in my entire life.
It was a healing conversation. It was like the whole thing coming full circle.
The conversation made me realize a few things.
1. My adopted mom has always supported me no matter what.
My adopted mom and I have always had a very difficult relationship. I’m not sure which came first the chicken or the egg. Did I not bond with her causing resentment which led to her treatment of me, or did her behavior cause me not to bond?
I will never truly know the answer to that question.
My adopted mom and I have been to Hell and back throughout our 49 year relationship. We have stood toe to toe with the boxing gloves on.
The very relationship that almost destroyed me has turned me into the strong independent person that I read more…

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It Was Meant To Be – Using Religion to Justify Adoption

By AstridBeeMom In the adoption community, from birthmoms, adoptive parents, and even the occasional adoptee I often hear statements about adoption being the “destiny” for the adopted child. Some of these statements include, but, of course, are not limited to:
“I knew from the first time I met them (adoptive parents) they were meant to be -insert child’s name here- mom and dad.”
“It was God’s plan for my child to be adopted by -insert adoptive parents names here.”
“My mom and dad were meant to be my real parents. I can’t imagine my life without them!”
“I know why our previous placement failed. I was meant to be -insert child’s name- mom.”
These types of statements always irritate me. It implies that there is a pre-determined destiny for every person living in this world and that there is nothing you can do to change that. It implies that there is no free will. It was “meant to be.” It also implies (when you use the “God’s plan” phrase) that either 1) God makes mistakes and put the wrong baby in the wrong womb or 2) God is read more…

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Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question

By Lori Holden Dear Needs Help in Indiana, It must be exhausting for an adoptee to live in an Either/Or world. If you even think about your birth mom, some will judge you as disloyal to the woman who is raising you. Because, y’know, there is room for only one set of “real” parents in Either/Or world. About … Continue reading Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question
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2-year-old taken away from parents because they used marijuana, killed by foster mother

By AstridBeeMom AstridBeeMom:Our system does NOT protect these children.
Originally posted on WPMT FOX43:

Cameron Texas- A 2-year-old was killed while in foster care, and her foster mother will now serve a life sentence for the crime

Alex Hill was placed in foster care after her father admitted to using marijuana according to the Houston Press.

Joshua Hill told Texas child welfare investigators that he smoked after the child was in bed at night. A case worker determined that the father’s marijuana use and the mother’s medical condition (frequent seizures) warranted removal from the home.

The toddler had appeared healthy and happy with her parents, but she was placed into the foster care system in early 2013.

On Tuesday Alex’s foster mother, Sherill Small, was sentenced to life in prison for the July 2013 death of the little girl, who would have turned four on Friday.

Alex’s parents, Joshua Hill and Mary Sweeny, had reported bruises on their child during visitations, but…
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The Clock Just Keeps Ticking

By AstridBeeMom It’s almost 1 am. I’m up and thinking.
New information.
New facts.
New revelations.
A big bubble in my “birthmom” life has been popped. Things I thought to be are showing me that they really aren’t. I can’t seem to wrap my head around it all. There is turmoil right now but also cautious hope and excitement. Something very good has happened but it could also be very bad…it depends.
I’m feeling more used than I’ve ever felt, though. Huge betrayal, huge, and not just to me. To her.
All I have is time…waiting…waiting…waiting. How many more days until she has a say so of her own? Not ready to write yet? Pffft. So not true. More than ready, with or without you. Maybe you’re not ready.
What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Isn’t that what Marmion wrote? But now I’m tangled in your damn web and I don’t know what to do. I want to trust you and fill you in but I also don’t want to do further damage to an already fragile perception of me and, more importantly, an already read more…

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Don’t Stop Now! #notabravelove #bravelove #notbravelove

By AstridBeeMom “A movement to increase adoption in the U.S.”
A few years ago an organization came on the scene. It was called, “BraveLove.” It’s mission was and is to increase domestic infant adoption in the United States. There have been a few blog posts about it in the past, but now it is a hot button issue. Why? Because this past week they have launched a billboard assault all over the country with the names of first moms and how adoption is the perfect solution to a pregnancy in a less than ideal situation. By their own accounts, from their website they say, ”
We’re a pro-adoption movement. We’re not an adoption agency. We’re not a pregnancy resource center or a church ministry. We’re a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) public charity organization headquartered in Dallas, Texas that exists to change the perception of adoption through honest, informative and hopeful communication that conveys the bravery of birth mothers. We believe birth mothers are heroes and adoption can be a beautiful thing.”
You may have seen the #notabravelove (or #notbravelove) campaign going on the past few days. This campaign came into inception when one of my read more…

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Crazy 8

By Lori Holden Hi. I’m this blog. I’m 8 years old today. Here is my life story so far. I was born a poor, blogspot template and I was originally known as WeeblesWobblog. My midwives hailed from the ALI community (Adoption / Loss/ Infertility), prompting my birth and nourishing me in my … Continue reading Crazy 8 →
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The Cult of Birthmother’s Day – A Mother’s Day Celebration For First Moms

By AstridBeeMom It’s almost electric, the emotions flying around social media this time of year. Like a storm brewing or a dam waiting to explode from too much pent-up pressure in the tidal wave of water, Mother’s Day elicits an almost primal, and strong, response from those of us in the adoption community. Especially us first/birth/natural mothers. If the tension on the Internet is only a fraction of what is really going on inside of our hearts this time of year, I can’t imagine what our real lives, as opposed to online lives, may look like.
Some of us have other children that we parent and I know, at least for me, that helps to soften the blow. We will be getting “Happy Mother’s Day!” cards whether they are handmade or store-bought. We will be recognized on this day as a mother. It doesn’t make the hurt of having one of our children missing any softer, but at least we have recognition of who we are. For those who do not have other children that they parent, Mother’s Day can be one of the cruelest read more…

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Honoring All Mothers on Mother’s Day

By Mirah Riben Be kind to your web footed friends,
For that duck may be somebody’s mother
She lives in a hole in a swamp
Where the weather is always damp
My thoughts and prayers this Mother’s Day 2015 are for all the mothers, including those who do not always – or ever – get thanked, remembered or even thought of and those for whom the day holds sad reminders.
The book, A Letter to My Mom by Lisa Erspamer, is a collection of letters by celebrities to the women who raised them. Like Mother’s Day greeting cards, they are filled with flowery words of thanks and appreciation for the big and little sacrifices these mothers have made to care for their children, their encouraging words of support, their love and guidance.
Not all of us, however, had storybook childhoods and not all of us have mothers who were able to meet our every need. Some of us have far less than perfect mothers, and some of us have mothers we do not read more…

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Unconditional Love

By AstridBeeMom A love that will stay and persist without limits, without prerequisites. No matter what. To show unconditional love is to put yourself aside for the well-being of someone else. A sacrifice of one’s self because of this love. To voluntarily endure pain, hurt, disappointment, and more in the name of this love. To put someone else above yourself.
-Astrid
This is my definition of unconditional love.
Unconditional is defined as “not subject to conditions.” Love is defined, by man, as “an intense feeling of deep affection.”
Furthermore, God defines love as patient and kind, free of envy, boasting and pride. It is not dishonorable, self-seeking, or easily angered. It also keeps no record of wrongs. It rejoices with TRUTH and does NOT delight in evil.
If you are a believer in God then you know that you are required to try your best to love one another in the way he has described, unconditionally. However, let’s take the layman’s view and assume you don’t HAVE to love EVERYONE unconditionally. You are free to just “love” people, no qualifiers required.
If I asked you how read more…

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The Insensitivity of Adoption Day Celebrations

By Mirah Riben Adoptive families have been commemorating the day they acquired their adopted children with an annual celebration since at least 2005 when it was suggested in Margaret Schwartz’s book The Pumpkin Patch. The celebration and its name have been the subject of controversy since its inception.
Very recently, adoptive father and poet Patrick Hicks wrote”Gotcha Day is a beginning — this is undeniably true — but it is also an ending. A door home has been slammed shut forever, and the child has been removed from their ancestral home, their blood ties and their language. These are no small things, and as we go about remembering Gotcha Day in our house, I’m aware that somewhere in Korea is a young woman who must wonder what part of the earth her son landed upon. For this reason, Gotcha Day is charged with emotion. There is joy and sorrow, belonging and longing, home and away. It is a day that sets a young life into motion with a new family, and it is a day that signals an end. Even the term ‘Gotcha Day’ is problematic. It sounds too much like a simple game of tag, and read more…

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When Your Story Is No Longer Just About You

By Laura Marie Scoggins
Many adoptee bloggers begin by telling their own story. Maybe they are in the process of searching and chronicle unfolding events. Sometimes they are like me and begin writing the story years after the reunion has unfolded.
My biggest advice to someone going through the search and reunion process is to start a journal and record everything. It doesn’t have to be a public blog, but at least get that journal started. Trust me! You are going to wish you did.
I did not begin writing about my search and reunion until many years post reunion which made it difficult to remember many details. I don’t remember the details of those early conversations, but only generally what was discussed. If I had kept a journal my writing now would be so much easier.
You just never know how events are going to unfold. From the very beginning I wanted to write my story, but I never anticipated putting in online in a blog or publishing a book. Never in a million years did I expect to put it out there read more…

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