By Mirah Riben Be kind to your web footed friends, For that duck may be somebody’s mother She lives in a hole in a swamp Where the weather is always damp My thoughts and prayers this Mother’s Day 2015 are for all the mothers, including those who do not always – or ever – get thanked, remembered or even thought of and those for whom the day holds sad reminders….
By Mirah Riben Adoptive families have been commemorating the day they acquired their adopted children with an annual celebration since at least 2005 when it was suggested in Margaret Schwartz’s book The Pumpkin Patch. The celebration and its name have been the subject of controversy since its inception. Very recently, adoptive father and poet Patrick Hicks wrote “Gotcha Day is a beginning — this is undeniably true —…
By Laura Marie Scoggins Many adoptee bloggers begin by telling their own story. Maybe they are in the process of searching and chronicle unfolding events. Sometimes they are like me and begin writing the story years after the reunion has unfolded. My biggest advice to someone going through the search and reunion process is to start a journal and record everything. It doesn’t have to be a public blog, but…
By Susie While wasting time on Facebook the other night, I kept seeing a link that several different friends had posted about a Teleflora commercial that had left them in tears. It left me in tears too. But for reasons unlike my friends. Especially during this month of May, that includes not only Mother’s Day, but also Christopher’s birthday. What a kick in the gut. This wonderful son, grown up…
By Laura Marie Scoggins On March 25, 2015, I mailed the application for my Ohio original birth certificate. Just five days after opening day. Finally, on April 20 I received an envelope in the mail from the State of Ohio, Department of Health. The envelope contained a piece of my identity that has been behind lock and key for almost 50 years. How do you even describe what it feels…
The official and infamous Crack Whore Birth Mother t-shirt is leaving AdoptionLand forever. Say goodbye. It has served its time, turned some heads, had its day, but that time is over.
By Mirah Riben As the nation watches the Indiana battle between religious freedom and discrimination against same sex couples, there is another, little known civil rights battle playing out in the Hoosier state (and elsewhere in the U.S.): Adopted citizens are fighting for equality. Adoptees’ right to access their own original birth certificates is being pitted against the alleged rights of their mothers. However, granting adopted citizens equal access will,…
The arrangement Search Quest America made as Troy’s third party search provider started in 2008 and ended in early 2014. According to Troy, he has not charged anyone for doing a search since 2002 however he did receive compensation from Search Quest America as his third party search provider. This arrangement ended after the website traffic leads were diverted to his “Troy Alert” app and the requests coming in through the TroyTheLocator.com website dwindled.
I have to say quite clearly; Birthmother and actress Kate Mulgrew’s new memoir “Born with Teeth” is NOT an adoption book. It’s really a memoir of an actress who is a birthmother. The adoption story part of it is very true to the experience and very real, very raw and one will find themselves totally “getting it”. There just isn’t nearly as much “adoption” as one might think based on the press coverage. Like she really goes into way more and, in some ways much deeper and better, with the interviews. Granted she does write about the relinquishment, but after that, until the VERY end, it’s more of an undercurrent of sorts that doesn’t really get addressed all that much, but referred to in passing. If you are looking for birthmother validation, then you might be disappointed.
By Laura Marie Scoggins One of the best things that has come out of open records legislation is the connections and community of adoptees. Adoptees are only truly understood by each other, and most of us live our lives without other adoptees to express what life adopted is like. In addition to reunions unfolding each day with birth families the biggest reunion of all just might be OUR reunion in…
Help Shape OUR Birthmother Presentation; In my head, I am telling the story, presenting facts and research that supports what I am saying, with actual quotes by YOU ALL showing on the screen. I would very much to have some really good images of moms that can help break apart every possible stereotype and open that door to get them thinking more. Even if it turns out that maybe there are only six stories that get highlighted, at least it’s not just mine. So like I always say, your voices will give my presentation WAY more credibility.
So this is a follow up for those who attended my SEO workshop at the American Adoption Congress Conference:
“While the internet has been an amazing tool to bring the adoption community together, there are basic best practices to utilized to really amplify our voices and reach a wider audience. Whether blogging, sharing or tweeting, knowing what Google wants and how to use SEO can benefit us all.”
By Cassi Okay, sit back, get comfortable, clear your throat and repeat after me . . . The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie! Let’s say it one more time . . . The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie! I have yet, in the many years I’ve been a part of the fight for Adoptee Rights and Adoption Reform, come across a First (Birth) Mom…
By Mirah Riben The New York Times called the life of Adam Crapser a bizarre Kafkaesque odyssey. The internationally adopted man, now 40 and living in Vancouver, Washington, has become the face of everything wrong with adoption. He was adopted, abused, abandoned to foster care, rehomed, abused worse than before, and abandoned again all by the time he was 16 years old… and now he faces deportation. Crapser’s odyssey began…
I mean thank GOD that I had at least a warning that they were going to be there. Can you image if you didn’t expect your agency and they were in your face! They are just lucky that I HAD mentally prepared or the emotional side of me might have taken hold and I might not have been civil and gracious. In fact, the right thing to do on their part would have been to send me a email or note before hand, explaining that they were going to be there for their CEUs and that IF I was open to it, then they would like to take the opportunity to say hello face to face. At least that would have considered my needs and treated me like a valuable person worth of an opinion and having valid feelings. Instead, I somehow feel again like “just a birthmother” whose feelings come last and just don’t matter. That will not work for me anymore!