The Craigslist Adoption Truth Project

A Late Night Idea to Get Truth Out to Expectant Moms at Risk

Awaken my a nightmare of untold proportions, I went to my I pad to dispel the tears and found this article on my FB feed.

Craigslist Adoptions: How Hopeful Parents Are Turning to the Website to Start Families

It was repeated by ABC.

Let me count the ways this article is horrific:

1)  I believe there is some very shoddy fact checking g in the article such as this one:

“According to statistics collected by the U.S. department of Health and Human Service, some 677,000 children a year are placed through private domestic adoptions.”

All our other sources account for approximately 15,000 placements a year through domestic adoptions, I believe the figure is ALL adoptions including international, foster to adopt and step parent adoption.

2) The article promotes the current “trend” of adoption practices to make “hopeful adoptive parents” troll for at risk mothers to be online including websites, Facebook pages, and Craigslist ads.

3) Handy tips like printing business cards as waitress tips: “The couple printed postcards and business cards promoting their adoption search, which they would hand out to everyone they met “When we paid waitresses, we’d stick a postcard with our tip,” Tracey, a 37-year-old stay-at-home mom, recalls.”

However, this post is not about what is WRONG, because there is so much wrong about trolling for babies, but the idea that I got from it.

Want to Troll for At Risk Moms on Craigslist? Two Can Play at That Game

The article points out that the BEST results were from Craigslist. All the other avenues of baby procurement were trickles as far as results.  I’m not sure why expectant moms are turning to Craigslist for the adoptive parents of their unborn children rather, but maybe they are looking for used cribs and get sucked in by their sad stories? The fact is the article clearly tells US where WE have to go to reach moms BEFORE they answer the horrid pathetic ads and get sucked into the adoption machine. To that I say thank you very much.

The other joyful aspect is that Craigslist is FREE and NATIONAL. So the reach is wide and simple.

The other super great thing is that while this article discusses that prospective parent are hiring SEO consultants to optimize their listings for the search results, I know adoption Search Engine Optimization better than..well.. pretty much anyone in the country. I mean, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but the truth is the truth.

So Here’s What I am Going to DO and I Invite You to Join In

Let’s go on a Craigslist Posting campaign!

I’m going to be calling on the Adoption Army for this one, so if you haven’t joined up, please consider doing so!

I check out my local Hudson Valley Craigslist pages, searching for both “adoption” and “pregnant”. After ignoring the multitudes of animal adoption posts, I had 8 posts that fit the criteria

I am happy to report that their SEO sucks. No one knows how to code anything and Craigslist accept HTML code which makes the searches rank much higher.  Guess what I’m going to do?

Let’s Overrun Craigslist with  the REAL Risks of Adoption Relinquishment

I’m going to pepper my area as much as possible. Craigslist does keep the most currant ads on top so they will have to be renewed at a regular intervals, but if the ad is on a document, all one needs to do is copy and paste, really, so it’s quick.   I am HAPPY to send mine out to ANYONE who wants to take on their area. Of course you are free to customize it with whatever links and message you feel best with. I have the links going to blog posts here that I think might be most moving to expectant at risk moms, but they don’t have to go here. I’m not doing this for traffic to the blog, I’m doing this to stop adoption trolling in its tracks.

Here’s my first  Ad for the Craigslist Adoption Truth Project

Join in.. we can beat them at their own game. Take a city, an area, a state and post away.
Let’s go. If we know Craigslist works, then we would be fools not to do it!

I’m going to send this out via the  Adoption Army Today, but feel free to email me at fixadoption at gmail  to confirm.

It will be easier to track them and check them all in one place:

ETA: We have a Map. It’s public, so you can go in and add your area or just let me know in comments as folks have done so far!

View Craigslist Adoption Truth Project in a larger map


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About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine,, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

56 Comments on "The Craigslist Adoption Truth Project"

  1. Done in Connecticut 🙂

  2. Done in Missouri!!

  3. Queens NY, Long Island and Philadelphia

  4. I’m in for South Florida.

    May want to tone down the YELLING a bit? We don’t want to be like those pro-life fanatics screaming at women that they know what’s best; the mothers may just tune us out. I think an impassioned but not condescending approach will work best. 🙂

    Also-there’s a small typo in the graphic saying “be prepare” instead of “be prepared” –can that be fixed?

  5. Kind-of feel like trolling the PAPs but I guess that would be cruel…really though? “We can help each other out in a very special way?” “The right family is out there for your baby?” And the first two ads are working with Friends Through Adoption…yet they claim there’s no pressure to place if you contact them? Hmm…right.

  6. Ugh…yep, the “birthmoms, looking to adopt” posts are all over my area near Atlanta. Doing what I can in the central/southern GA area.

  7. I love the poster. But what about “Adoption is not a loving option, Be prepare(d) for you and your baby to hurt for life”?

  8. Wtf? Claudia, your mobile version of your blog is advertising!

    • Yeah.. I know. I keep on fighting with Google about the ads, but even with the ‘abilty” to control them, I don’t really have them. When I move the blog over, I am not keeping the service and I believe it is about to go the way of the do do anyway!

      The flip side is.. IF you click on the ads, it COSTS them money!! So sometimes I just click while making an evil laugh..

  9. Adoptionisachoic dot com too! Vomit.

  10. Send me the text/image and I will post in Detroit/Ann Arbor/Lansing.

    It is important that we hit college towns.

  11. It would be helpful if some resources would be added to help women find the support they need to parent their babies, since that’s what draws them to Craigslist. It’s good to know what NOT to do, but we need to help them learn what they CAN do to get help. There are maternity homes that don’t even mention adoption, but work with mothers to parent their babies. I’ll see about getting a list together. And if anyone else has resources to offer, post it here so it can be added.

  12. This is so friggen’ sick.

    I was nauseated when I saw a Looking to Adopt ad on the paper placemat at our local burger and brew joint, but hey! Commerce is the American way, right?

    Claud, the trouble with the Google ads is why I gave up on them. I believe you have to list every possible ad that might be objectionable, and all you get are ads for adoption agencies and of course,….

    keep up the stellar work. Also, found out more about Tyler and Catelynn’s improved financial status as being stars who gave up their baby. Opps, Tyler says they made an “adoption plan” and I am a bitter old lady. WTH?

  13. Can you please send me one at vlfreeman1977 at g mail. I would love to help!

  14. Just placed an ad for Ocala – central FL, today. Make the middle of FL pink! 🙂

  15. I cannot find my ads. Can you see if they are showing. I’ve tried to email Craislist, but that’s useless.

    They’ve supposedly been posted and they are listed as active, but I can’t see them unless I click on the above links. Thanks for the help.

  16. Cool! Thank you!

  17. Had some spare time, thought I would spread the word around my tri-state area!

    Cedar Rapids, Iowa
    Des Moines, Iowa
    Iowa City, Iowa
    Southeast (Ottumwa), Iowa
    Waterloo, Iowa
    Lincoln, Nebraska
    Grand Island, Nebraska
    Sioux Falls, South Dakota

  18. How can I check and see if my ad is still up?

  19. Done. Austin, TX…Kellie C I hope you don’t mind but I stole your words from your craigslist post. It was basically everything I would have said so…

  20. (ps) trying to do in all areas of texas and my home state but craigslist is telling me i am “posting too fast” ha! this might take some time but i’m on it! tried this in the past but they wouldn’t allow me to post multiples of what “appeared” to be the same “ad”…so glad I can do this now! thank you claude for the wonderful idea and all the hard work i know this must be for you.

  21. You obviously have issues, if this is what you feel is your mission. You are attacking people who are already struggling with huge losses. You focus on the negative and fail to see the positive of children being placed in loving homes and have a postive childhood where they may not have had that opportunity otherwise! Adoption has changed greatly in the past few years, and you should try educating yourself. There are some bad “eggs” out there, but many more that are good people trying to create a family they many not have had the chance to on thier own!I have both my adoptive parents and my birthmother in my life, and it works great for all of us!

    • I’m sorry Amber, but you could not be more wrong. Adoption has not really changed that much in the past years. I suggest you read around and I recommend the “adoption Truth” heading for starters, because it is not I that needs education.

  22. Just want to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is just spectacular and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the rewarding work.

  23. DISGUSTING! I agree with Amber above. You think you are protecting birth mothers? You are crazy….you are causing babies who are not wanted to be left in homes with women who can’t care for them or give them the lives they deserve. My husband was adopted and given an amazing life! If he was left with his mother who was addicted to drugs who knows what would have become of him.
    My husband and I have wanted to adopt and help a child have an amazing life too. We have tried to have our own at the same time and the emotional pain from that failing is incredible. You have no idea what you are talking about! What makes you a SAVIOR????

    • Oh that’s easy. I became a SAVIOR when I relinquished my own son to adoption. I am a family building angel who sacrificed my own joy and shouldered the pain of being separated form my baby to fullfill the hopes and dreams of lovely infertile couple like yourself. It’s in the Birthmother rule book. I get selfless sainthood status.

      Yup, all women who relinquish are crack whore Birthmothers who would have abused our children and made them suffer a life of horrors because that was your husbands experience. Thank goodness you want to save them and have the ability to give a poor baby an amazing life. After all, you have such compassion and understanding for others. Where’s your parent profile? I would just love to recommend you at the local dive hotel. We have our knocked up addict meeting there next week.

      • Hilarious. So your out of control emotions makes it okay to harm the lives of others? I agree, there are some real psychos out there. (Kinda hate to think about what you did to the adoptive family of your “child”) anyway, simmer down. Not everyone’s life is the same. Not all adoptive families are monsters and not all birth moms are crack whores. Duh. With the alarming action here, I would never accept anything from you. It just seems like a bad idea. Maybe that’s the way to “solve” the problem. Terrify people with your attitude. Seems like everyone would leave you alone.

  24. This whole article makes me sad. While I’m sure there are sad facts about adoption, it can also be a beautiful thing.

    My husband and I have lost six pregnancies but desperately want to build a family. We were contacted by two women about adopting their babies. The first already have FIVE children and four grandchildren. She knew we were struggling and she would have resented that baby at such a late point in her life. Ultimately, she had a miscarriage and wasn’t able to place with us, but how is that situation filled with corruption and greed? I see nothing but one couple aching for a family while a woman helps herself and us through choosing adoption.

    The second woman wanted a better life for her child than she could provide. The father wasn’t part of her life and she wanted her child to have a stable, happy home. She was losing her home, unemployed, and unsure what the future had in store for her. She also had never wanted children, even from a young age. While it didn’t work out for us to adopt in this situation, I commend this mother’s ability to reason out what she thought was best for her child. That is a loving, selfless act. Did she love her child? Absolutely. Was she a good person? I think so. Are we bad people for wanting to bring a much-wanted child into our home? No.

    If it would have worked out for us to adopt that baby, we would have loved and cherished that little one for the rest of our lives.

    The fact is that I ACHE for those pregnancies I lost. The only thing I’ve wanted to do in life was be a mother, and the only way it will happen is through adoption. I am not a troll nor a woman preying on another woman. Instead, I’m a woman filled with hope that maybe, just maybe, there is a woman out there who is looking for a family like us. Who wants to be a part of their child’s life but not necessarily raise that child. I know it happens… so why does it have to be labeled as a terrible thing?

    • Becky, First off thank you for commenting. I do appreciate that there CAN be instances when perhaps adoption id NOT exploited and is an true informed choice, but sadly, for all involved, this does NOT happen as often as any of us would like it to or that people in general want to believe.

      Case in point: I can take the two instances you gave> I also was pretty sure I would resent my baby at a young age for pretty much the same reasons as mother number 1. Rather than hinder me at a older age, I was sure and very fearful that I would resent a baby at a young age. That fear, rather than than the reality of the bond between my child and i had it been allowed, was what was supported by the then and current adoption message. Likewise, I remember my own mother struggling terribly with the pregnancy of my brother 12 years after my birth. I KNOW she seriously considered not continuing that pregnancy, but ultimately, even with some real concerns about the mental health of my father which were valid, she did have my brother and he was the greatest joy of her life. In the end, he was her reason for living.

      The second mother? The whole “two parent home” rather than supporting a single mother does give me huge red flags. Not that I dismiss father’s roles at all, but why must a child lose their biological mother in order to gain a father? Yes, she had no idea what the future held for her, but that doesn’t mean that she could not have a great future with her child. Was she planning on staying homeless and unemployed for life? Or was that an situation that she was planning n changing? Plus, I know PLENTY of women who also never thought they wanted children and they will say.. I had NO IDEA until I had my baby that I could find being a mother the most important rewarding job of my life. In the best case senior, a mother like her would have a strong parenting plan and then, perhaps an adoption plan for back up. The uncertainty of her future should NEVER be a reason to relinquish, and she cannot make a decision on if being a mother is important until after she gives birth and gets the opportunity to naturally bond with her baby.

      You see them as good possible situations, I see lack of real information given to these women.

      I do not doubt at all that it is very painful to not be able to have a child and be failed by one’s own body. I do not doubt that most adoptive parents are wonderful people and great parents. But ultimately, it’s not about even what you want or what I want, it is what is best for the child. And lack of financials and support as a reason to relinquish IS doing these children and their parents and even those who adoption a disservice. EVERY child protective entity supports that it is best for a child to remain with their family of origins and adoption should only be the last stop. I firmly believe that a child does not have to have everything to be happy and if there was more support and encouragement for mothers, we would see relinquishments.

      So the big question: Why does it have to be labeled a terrible thing? Because it is a terrible thing. It has been historically labeled as a “win win” for all involved, but I can assure you that my son, my other children, my family and myself.. we did not win. I ACHE for every single step he took with out me, every smile I missed, even every poopy diaper. And no matter what I do .. it will NEVER happen. I have to accept that the opportunities are gone forever and what I want ill not be. And it wasn’t “a child” I longed for. It was the on that came form my body. So for myself and all the other mothers I know and plenty of adoptees as well.. it’s pretty terrible. And we’re gonna say so.

  25. Oh and fyi. If you were TRULY concerned aboit the lives of children being placed for adoption you would get involved in stopping international adoptions where it is the country’s source of foreign currency. They give women $50, tell them tales of visiting the babies in 1st world nations and obviously never follow through. Additionally, many babies are abducted. So are you really that concerned? I’m calling bs. If you were, you’d do something about mothers actually being swindled. Pft, some “savior” you sound like a lazy, weak minded complainer to me.

  26. Information is Available | September 3, 2015 at 4:31 am |

    I find your opinion amusing. The “let’s stop the evil adoptive trolls” pursuit of a perfect world is hilarious… and a waste of time. I do agree there are some incredible ignorant trolls out there. But I also know that only an incredibly weak minded individual would give up their own flesh and blood and then blame someone else for it.

    Fact: Mostly adults place their infants for adoption. It’s a fact. So, your argument is that adults are manipulated into making these uninformed decisions. What? Do they speak another language, not have a court system nearby with free legal assistance, have a brain or what? That assumption of yours is just plain insulting to all sides and sounds highly emotional. I never listen to anyone who is running solely on “emotional fumes” they tend to be rather psychotic in the literal sense.

    Anyone who has a brain has the ability to figure out the laws in which they are directed to do things. So, with that in mind we can assume adults make adult decisions and that their failure to obtain proper information is their own fault for not obtaining it or that they are in another country in which these educational systems are not in place.

    So these adults (who made adult decisions) chose life for their child, however better or worse it may be we will never really know (Speculation is just dumb), decide that they regret their decision and therefore must ruin the adoption process for every other person… classy. I have a hard time believing that individuals who placed their child for adoption and then later decided to attack the process made anything less than a selfish decision. What they were promised expenses paid and visitation but no responsibility? Sounds like a free ride. I get it that placing a child for adoption is an incredibly difficult thing to do but I seriously have a difficult time believing that ADULTS made a decision not knowing. That’s like saying adults aren’t adults anymore. It’s just an excuse for people to be dumb and have someone else pay up for it. So, for the adults who were manipulated into placing their own flesh and blood for adoption… How in the world did you not know the rules? Where was your brain? Did you ever have one? Mine doesn’t shut off and I question everything before I make a move. This is baffling, This is making yourself a permanent victim and I find this disgusting. Take some personal responsibility before you decide to attack everyone else. Next thing to be claimed is that you don’t know how you got pregnant, sheesh. I’m big on personal responsibility.

    Now I read up a lot on adoption. There seems to be an incredible amount of actual fraud in places like China where international adoptions are a major portion of international revenue. So basically mothers’ children are abducted and placed for adoption in foreign countries including the USA. So this is absolutely disgusting. Why aren’t you becoming an advocate for this? You claim to be against injustices like this fraud. This is actual fraud that is occurring where mothers’ children are abducted. So, you have mentioned nothing of the sort. You’re all talk. Do you really want to make a difference in the world? I highly doubt it. You want to whine and complain to anyone who will listen and become a permanent victim.

    You are right, not every child needs to have everything to be happy. I grew up with a sister who has a psychotic disorder and a sister who is developmentally disabled with a deteriorating brain disease that caused her to become paralyzed. I myself have some minor medical issues which has now contraindicated any sort of pregnancy for me. I mean, if you want to talk about loss. I lost the minds of two siblings and unfortunately they’ll never come back and there is nothing that can be done. You don’t gain brain back after it’s gone. The one sister destroyed (literally) every toy I ever had and framed my other siblings for it. She even made it seem like my developmentally disabled sister destroyed my school projects. She made me feel so insignificant at all times. I learned a lot from it. Seeing someone lose their brains like what happened to my siblings is just awful. That’s loss. Waking up in the middle of the night hearing that your sister had something explode in her brain and is not gonna make it, that’s loss. Having your sister fighting for life when ALL odds are against her, both parents lost their jobs but still look after her and no one can cover her medical bills THAT’S loss. Seeing her still try, well that’s a victory.

    My parents kept their kids. All of them. Parents who place do it from their hearts (or at least I hope they do) but in this life you are only responsible for yourself and any dependants you might have. If a mother makes the decision to place a child for adoption they should exhaust all other options and they themselves are responisble for doing this. You don’t go to 1 agency and decide to believe everything they say. That’s what a lazy child would do. In picking out an adoption company not only did I check out and interview dozens, I also interviewed adoptive families and birth mothers who placed through the company. I wanted to make sure that the birth mothers were offered anything they were legally able to get.

    Your feud with Craigslist is a little odd though. Craigslist is the modern “want ads”. Want ads have been used for over 100 years for purposes of adopting. Your feud should be with families who are operating illegally. States such as Alabama where certain types of adoptions can’t take place or states where advertising adoption is illegal unless through a licensed agency. Your article seems to direct your aggravation toward any and all adoptive families advertising on such pages which is just silly. Again, this is a clear insult to everyone involved. You’re saying that expectant mothers aren’t smart enough to look into their local laws and that all adoptive families are trying to snag their babies. Here in America, going to the library and using the internet there is free. So there is no excuse for lack of information for adults. The reality is, if I heard an expectant mother that paranoid about the decision I wouldn’t accept her child because I feel like someone that unsure would change her mind, waste my time, my emotions and my money.

    Hopefully people aren’t that dumb and they do understand that they can use their adult brains in the decision making process.

  27. So what if you are actually looking to adopt, what do you recommend. There are so many ways and places to talk too and how do you know they aren’t a scam.

    • I don’t recommend adoption. Not sure how you can still want to take a chance into the unethical cesspool that is the adoption industry. So I would suggest reading this and all the links:

      However.. IF you insist on going forth, THEN the ONLY somewhat chance for any ethical adoption possibility.. and even then you are taking a risk.. is to go through social services and adopt through foster care. Forget a newborn and try giving a home to a child that truly needs one. There are over 1000,000 kids in the USA that NEED a family.

  28. Seems stupid. So what’s the option, kill the baby?
    That hurts more because then often unable to get pregnant after that and the guilt. Happened to my best friend cause some idiot told her adoption hurts. Man did she regret !!!!

    • You want to talk stupid? ” . So what’s the option, kill the baby?” is pretty ignorant for starters. I’m going to assume that we are not talking about infantcide, but abortion? You DO know that the majority of abortions and LEGALLY ALL abortions HAVE T HAPPEN BEFORE the fetus is viable? Perhaps you need a refresher on pregnancy timelines and the reality of choices:

      Now for your second statement.. that abortion hurts “more” than adoption grief? I can say form my own experience that I would NEVER EVER consider adoption relinquishment EVER again, but if I found myself miraculously ( post vasestomy) pregnant tomorrow at the ripe old age of 48, I would NOT hesitate to abort again. That idiot saved your friend a world of hurt. And for the record, according to multiple studies, women who relinquish a child to adoption are forty to sixty percent more likely to experience secondary infertility that other mothers.

      You should do more reading.

  29. I’m not here to adopt as I was blessed with 3 of my own biological children but i believe being a mother is what makes a woman feel she has a purpose in life and if she can’t have her own but adoption is the only way to go. And it seems you get off on trying to intervene with that because of your own hostility or hatred twds yourself and the adopted parents. Not only are you un educated because you can’t spell worth shit. But if your such a concerned mother of your own other children why are you spending so much time writing articles and blogs rather then spending time with your kids. And why did u put ur child up for adoption? I’m sure no gun was put to your head. Or maybe your the kind that blames others for your problems. Take care of your kids you dumb bitch leave the ones who want to adopt do ad they wish

    • Brandi,
      For the above comment, you have won yourself an all expense paid ticket to the Adoption Cyber Bully Map! CONGRATULATIONS to Brandi Joseph of 12 Weber Street in Polson, Montanan! I guess you didn’t bother reading the comment policy here? (
      So a few points:
      1) If you think that providing accurate information regarding the long term risks of relinquishment and and maternal separation for bother mother and child to mothers considering adoption is something I get off on, then you would be correct. I have no problem at all with wearing that hat and if you think that an unsolicited opinion from some person is going to my actions, then you are quite incorrect.
      2) If you are going to criticize a person on their spelling, then it best behoove you to ensure that your own comment is 100% spelled correctly and grammatically perfect. Your comment was not, so thank you for that amusement. Good laughs.
      3) If you really wanted to know why I relinquished my son to adoption, then all you had to do was read a bit more. This website is set up so even the angry and uneducated can find things quickly, but perhaps it was too difficult for you? Or perhaps you were just too overcome with hatred for me? But I’m the dumb bitch? Cute.
      4) “no one put a gun to your head” yada yada yada. Please find some new material. This statement is so old and worn out. No, there was no real gun, but exploiting vulnerable mothers who are in crisis situations is like an emotional gun. This might be too ambiguous of a concept for you to comprehend,but again, if you felt like reading, there many posts dealing with these complex issues:
      5) Thanks for your concern about my children, but we’re all good thanks. I guess you didn’t bother to notice, but this website is over 10 years old, so I have had lots of time over the years to dedicate to it. Luckily, I have a husband who is very supportive of my work and we both agree that our children are best served by seeing role models who have a passionate need to fight for social justice. We aren’t raising them to sit around and bitch, but to go out and actually make a difference. Plus, do to the nature of adoption, my children have also experience losses, so it’s all our stories, it’s a family fight for justice. Since I guess it’s OK to bring our mothering styles into this: What are your three blessed bio kids doing when you come to unknown blogs and make judgmental comments to unknown people about topics you clearly know nothing about? How do you explain to them that calling another human being a dumb bitch is a good thing to do with your time? Is that a lesson in feminism? Equality? Compassion? See, I could say go take care of YOUR kids and leave the ones who want to fight for truth and family preservation to do as they wish? Or are you missing my point?

      I tried to call you so we could chat, but the number on the IP address lookup was out of service, so I do hope you will accept my friend request on Facebook and we can chat more about your much needed adoption education and perhaps some empathy lesson? Let me know! <3

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