Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

Lighter Fare or How to NOT Piss Off a Food Server

And while I am at it..you tea drinkers. We just hate you. All of us. Every waiter and waitress all over. Tea sucks. The NY Times said it. They did a survey. Tea is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I have to put the loose tea in the tea bag, temper your pot, heat your cup, guess if you want honey or lemon or milk or sugar…



My Friend Merridee

It’s her son’s birthday this week. That haunting look just flickered quickly though her eyes when she told me. No one could have noticed the quiver in her voice. I saw it. I know what a birthday means.
“When do you usually crash?” I asked her.
“I’ll get hit on Wednesday” she replied.



Hyper Fertility: I Didn’t Ask for This

Sometimes things are just not controllable Birth control is not infallible. Some infertility is not fixable. Hyper fertility is not always fixable either. I do my best to control it, but all I need is one sperm. You know, they are really, really little. Kinda hard to find and catch sometimes. Slippery little buggers with only one thing on their mind. In over 20 years, I missed 8. I have a normal sex life…how many of those guys have I seen a week, a year, in the past twenty years? Eight out of 200 million kabillion is NOT a bad ratio.


Origins Press Release re:Adoption Recruiter

If you think that infant adoption is a benevolent social service, then reading the highlights of a job description appearing in the Wall Street Journal’s Executive Career Site online for an “Adoption Recruiter” might change your mind. Originally posted by the Boys and Girls Aid Society of Oregon, this detailed job description reveals the aggressive marketing strategies used by adoption agencies and proves that babies are marketable products used to generate agency revenue


The Adoption Reunion with My Son; Making it Current

Since he would be 18, he could open up his records..if he desired. And if he did that, then he could “find” me and we could be “official” and then completely manage to avoid telling his folks that this has now been happening already for almost 7 months. Really, at this point all I wanted to do was avoid getting them upset and get him out form the burden of secrets.


Silly Meme Stuff

I just realized that I have been “tagged” so here goes: What were you doing 10 years ago? I was still living in my cute little apartment in the middle of the boonies and being a single mommy to one, though I had started working for he interior design firm and was phasing out the restaurant world. I was in legal limbo waiting out both my divorce from P, and…


Seeing and Feeling: Imagine Being Separated from Your Child

Look at this face of the one you would die for. Feel that love that you have for them..full force..and imagine the source of that delight, that joy, was gone from your life. Not dead, just unreachable. Forever for all you know. Completely out of your control and grasp.


More on Max; Letters from my Adopted Son

If I had not searched for my adopted child, then it would have been not an issue. But I am not a saint. I am not a completely unselfish person. I do have my weak moments..or strong..depending on your viewpoint and perspective. And no matter what..I am a mother.

And I just ask you all this..to try to imagine for a second what it is like to know your child is out there somewhere..and you have longed for so long..and you find out that there is a way to reach out and touch team again. All I can say was there was NO WAY I could have not done it.

For myself, I believe for him, for my other children…one click. I am not that saintly of a human.


Important and very exciting!!

I added this to my permentant links, but wanted to make a notice of it too. Adoption Crossroads and Origins USA are holding a huge adtin related conference in NYC on September 15-16, 2006 What I think is REALLY excting is the list of speakers: Ann Fessler, Artist, creator of “Everlasting” Karen Wilson Buterbaugh, Author of “Adoption Healing… a path to recovery” (for mothers) Betty Jean Lifton, PhD, Author of…


Adoption: Not Even On My Own Worse Enemy

The pain of adoption separation is so awful, I could not demand that my son is returned to me form his adoptive family. Give the adoptee back is said in anti-adoption circles, but then I am no better than the evil forces that did this to me. I am only contributing to more pain to relieve my own, I am them part of a problem.


Feelings of Betrayal, Mistrust and Sadness

I am a Taurus. Don’t tell me that I can’t do something that I want to do, because I will do it then. And don’t order me about either, I won’t listen. And you really can’t tell me about me


The End of Exile

After Finding my Son on Social Media Into MySpace and the future I went. And I found..nothing. No response, no message, no signs, BUT he had added me to his Friends list..so what did it all mean? Back into chat, we went over what we knew and what I had sent in the first message. It was decided that it was just too cryptic and that he didn’t put it…


To continue..the Search for Max

I had asked to have Max be my Friend, but he had to approve before we would be on each other’s list. She had called to tell me that he was appearing on my list. That meant that he was online and saw my message. He had approved me. I was Friends with my SON!