Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

Adoption Questions and Facts March 24, 2016

Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption

Real Adoption Information and Facts on Adoption

They don’t teach the facts about adoption in school. There are no courses in college unless you go into a master level in Social work and even then it is limited. Most people go thought life thinking what they hear about adoption form the media, or even worse, from the adoption industry that supplies the message to the media is true. They would be wrong.

Then, when people find themselves about to enter the word of adoption, they go to the “trusted professionals” . Again, most of these sources have their own agenda for keep “on message” as the professionals make their living form the continuation of the adoption status quo. This goes for both prospective adoptive parents and expectant mothers considering adoption.  Neither have any reason to believe that they are being given a sales pitch.

My agenda is to be able to give you information that you won’t find in other places. Why? So that you can have true information based on facts in order to really understand what adoption is, what it  means, how the adoption industry works and what people really think about adoption

Get Your Facts About Adoption March 24, 2016

Research, Statistics, Studies, Information & Facts About Adoption

 No Excuse to be Ignorant about Adoption

Willful ignorance is the state and practice of ignoring any sensory input that appears to contradict one’s inner model of reality. At heart, it is almost certainly driven by confirmation bias.

Willfully ignorant people are fully aware of facts, resources and sources, but refuse to acknowledge them. It is sometimes referred to as tactical stupidity.

Depending on the nature and strength of an individual’s pre-existing beliefs, willful ignorance can manifest itself in different ways. The practice can entail completely disregarding established facts, evidence and/or reasonable opinions if they fail to meet one’s expectations. Often excuses will be made, stating that the source is unreliable, that the experiment was flawed or the opinion is too biased. More often than not this is simple circular reasoning: “I cannot agree with that source because it is untrustworthy because it disagrees with me”.

In other slightly more extreme cases, willful ignorance can involve outright refusal to read, hear or study, in any way, anything that does not conform to the person’s worldview. To counteract any true ignorance, may we present you with some real facts about adoption.

The Unethical adoption of Veronica Rose Brown

The Adoption of Veronica Rose Brown March 24, 2016

The Unethical Adoption of Veronica Brown

If you watched Dr. Phil and think you know what happened in this case, then please just leave. Dr. Phil is a lying sack of rotten potatoes. Unless you are willing to understand that he gives the readers digest condensed version of stupidity and you can see that this case was completely unethical and decided based on money and power, then you’ll get a good dose of the truth.

The simple fact is that Adoption is supposed to be about finding a home for a child that needs a home.

Veronica had a home and a family that loved her. She was adopted because wealthy strangers wanted her and basically bought her. They bought the courts. They bought influence.

We should all be disgusted. And while that little girl is forced to live with strangers; the only thing we have left to do is pay homage to her and fight to see that her suffering is not in vein. Please help us battle unethical adoptions in the USA. This has got to change!

truth about the adoption industry profits

The Adoption Industry March 24, 2016

What the Adoption Agencies & Professionals Don’t Want You to Know About Adoption in the USA

Most people view adoption as a wonderful altruistic act that is a win win for all parties involved.  The birth parents cannot raise a child for whatever reason and other, more establish couples are waiting to have children or add to their families and they cannot.  The general consensus is “Finding homes for all those unwanted children.” It sounds like a adoption is meeting the needs of society.

The problem is that adoption is a business, a big business.  There is lots of money to be had by those who make their living from the transferring of parental rights from one party to another.  If adoption was truly a societal need, then there wouldn’t be such profits to be had.

Money and Profit in US Adoptions

Adoption is over a 14 billion dollar a year industry by anyone’s best approximation.

Cultural Views on Adoption March 23, 2016

How the Real World Sees Adoptees, Adoptive Parents and Birthmothers

In the adoption community there are tons of conversations about “educating” the general public about adoption. Depending on how you are adoption affected, what you think needs to happen will be very different.

The Adoption Stereotypes; Limiting and Hurtful, also Untrue

Adoptive Parents want people to accept their families built by adoption and complain about the stupid questions people ask like “Where is her real mother?” Adoptees are suppose to be happy and grateful that they were somehow saved from either “ending up in an dumpster” or “from being aborted”. Adoptees are “lucky”.The general public likes to blame the birth mother’s pain on her own irresponsible choices. She is punished for her fertility and the sexual drive that got her pregnant in the first place.

Basically, unless you are actually adoption affected, and even then, only if you have done your own research and homework, most people have no clue about adoption.

adoption stories and books

A Birthmothers Life March 23, 2016

Adoption Stories and Books- Birthmother Memoirs to Adoptee Information

While everyone seems to love an adoption story; whether it be adoption horror stories or adoption reunion stories, adoption success stories  or adoption stories gone wrong – these seem to capture the interest of the general public who want to peek into our lives like adoption voyeurs. However, not all books about adoption are stories about adoption. Though the adoption memoir has a place, there are many more informational books about adoption that should also be well known and on everyone’s books shelves.

A Relevant Adoption Book List

There are many MORE books about “how to adopt a child” or even “adoption books for kids”; those will NOT be my primary focus, but some will be included here even if only to even out the lists and also for SEO purposes. I’m going to do my best here to break adoption books down via categories.  Obviously some books will be relevant across the board and serve to meet more than one need.  The books that I HAVE read myself will be so noted, but obviously I have not read them all.

Open Adoption Stories; The Adult Adoptees Experience

Open Adoption Stories March 23, 2016

Welcome to the Open Adoption Experience

I’m an Adult Adoptee Raised in Open Adoption

Hi, I’m Kat.

>p>Many times I feel that others think open adoption is the ideal solution to an unplanned or crisis pregnancy. It is said that, compared to a closed adoption, the open door in adoption allows the adoptee to go into a better situation where there is family and financial stability while maintaining contact with his or her biological family to obtain answers about heritage and genetics.

Considering Open Adoption as an Unplanned Pregnancy Option?

If you are an expectant mom, perhaps for different reasons, you may be contemplating open adoption for this very reason. Maybe someone has told you that it is a great solution, or maybe you have seen open adoption portrayed positively in movies or on TV. Possibly you are on the fence about placing your baby for adoption, but a professional in the adoption industry has said that you will still be able to have contact with your baby through open adoption.

Typically when people debate something, there are those who may say that it is wonderful or beautiful. Still others say it is horrendous. Usually in the middle, there is the truth of complexities.

While many people say open adoption is a ‘one big happy family’ solution, I wonder about the child. Is it possible that a child could go through open adoption and feel: isolation, confusion, jealousy, rage, sadness and loss just like those in closed adoption?

Adoption family reunions

Reunions & Support March 23, 2016

Adoption Reunion Support

Prepare for the Emotions of an Adoption Reunion

,p>If you are an adoptee or a birthparent planning on an adoption search and hopeful to have a family reunion, there is no such thing as too much planning.  The time to start preparing for an adoption reunion is actually way before you start your actual adoption search.  You will want to be reading all the adoption reunion stories that you can so you can gain insight and knowledge from other people’s experiences.  Start gathering together the people who “understand” and will support you . It’s a good time now to find and adoption group for support.

I have tried over the years to share both stories from my own reunion experience and also to talk about other issues that adoptees and birthmothers face. I am as flawed as the next person and I don’t think any of us are experts, but I try to share what I have learned and my thoughts.

Read Stories of Adoption Reunions

Make sure you read adoption stories from the adoptee point of view and read adoption reunion stories told from the birthmother or birthfather’s point of view. Read the good happy family reunion stories and read the tales of adoption reunions gone bad.I cannot stress this enough; READ

searching for adopted child find my birth mother

Searches March 23, 2016

What You Need to Know if Adopted and Searching for Birthparent

Searching for your birthmother or biological father? Trying to find your adopted child?

Try the two best adoption reunion registries first, apply for your non-identifying adoption information form the state you were adopted in or, if that state has decent open records legislation passed and OBC access, get your original birth certificate. You can use social media to search or DNA or get help through a free search angel or even a paid searcher.

I am NOT a SEARCHER. This is NOT a registry.

If you email and ask me to help I will send you to the link below. Just click on it now.

Adoption Events, Finding Christopher Finding Myself, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers March 17, 2016

American Adoption Congress in Denver

By Susie I am getting excited to attend the AAC Conference in Denver at the end of the month! There are a few reasons I decided to finally attend an adoption related conference.This one was close enough to consider driving to ~ about nine hours away, but in the end I decided to fly in order to have more time there/less time away from work. The chance to meet in…

Adoptee Rights, Finding Christopher Finding Myself, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers March 7, 2016

Adoptee Rights to Their Original Birth Certificates

By Susie As a mother of adoption loss, I would first of all like to (again) make it known that I WAS NEVER PROMISED, NOR DID I EVER WANT, ANONYMITY FROM MY SON! Those who try to use us mothers as the reasons that adoption records and original birth certificates are sealed are either lying or falsely believing someone else’s lies. Most moms would openly welcome being contacted by their…

Adoptee Rights, Adoption News, Costs of Adoption, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers February 24, 2016

Stop this Injustice: Save Adam Crapser

By Mirah Riben Adam Crapser is a loving father. He is also Korean-born American adoptee who has been subjected to and survived a failed adoption and extreme and sustained child abuse. Now, the country that promised Adam a good family and a better life continues to punish him for its own failing systems. Like other immigrant families impacted by deportation and detention. Adam has been unjustly detained by Immigration and…

A Birthmothers Life February 6, 2016

7000 Words for the Last 6 Months

In my zeal to help, in my desire to carry the load and rid others, I managed to lose myself. I needed to physically separate myself from all of you so that I could being to understand how *I* felt about adoption and how it was actually affecting my life. I think I literally had no idea what my own emotions were anymore because I was all entwined with everyone else. The anger was most notable absent, but what else was there? This kept me busy for weeks, months. See what I mean about a massive identity crisis?

Adoptee Rights, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, Surviving Adopted January 20, 2016

Letter to Indiana Legislators in Support of SB91

By Laura Marie Scoggins I am writing to encourage your support of Senate Bill 91 which will allow ALL Hoosier Adoptees equal access to their original birth certificates. Pre 1994 adoptees deserve the same access as post 1994 adoptees. One of the most common questions adoptees are asked when they tell people they are searching for their biological family or have been reunited is “why would you even want to…

Get Your Facts About Adoption, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers December 30, 2015

Infertility: The Important Missing Piece in Health Education Classes

By Mirah Riben Why would adolescents need to be concerned with infertility, one might wonder? The answer is that, since fertility is precarious, decreases with age, and is negatively impacted by common adolescent behaviors, it is important to be cognizant of these risk factors to avoid than anguish of infertility. “Abstinence Only” sexuality education curriculum is mandated in order for American public schools to obtain federal funding. Opting out of…