• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

In Atlanta; Thanks to YOU!

Atlanta Bound; Thanks to YOU

So just in case I haven’t been clear enough, yes, I AM going to the Adoptee Rights Coalition’s Demonstration in Atlanta. In fact, I am ON the plane right now.

I had actually meant to have this post UP on Wednesday, before the video post started rolling out, but I was terribly, in a good way of course, distracted by the news about the upcoming ACCESS MASSACHUSETTS meeting next Thursday. Then I thought that I would find a way to sneak this post in, but THAT was near impossible. It has been a VERY busy past two weeks getting ready for this event. Which leads me to the whole point of this post.

If it was not for the most generous contributions and overall AdoptionLand support that I received, I would not BE on a plane right now and I would NOT be going to the Adoptee Rights Demonstration. And while, there would, of course, be an ARC protest with or without me, I did end up doing a heck of a lot of the overall “tour guide” prep work here. So even the smallest bit of assistance ended up as really having a HUGE impact. I mean think about it.

How Many People Are we Helping with the ARC Demonstration?

If there are close to 7 million adult adoptees in the USA. Then we’re also looking at their at least 7 million birthmothers, and fathers, and siblings and then add in the extended family members. That’s a heck of a lot of millions of folks, and lord knows how many of them do not even KNOW that they don’t have access to their OBC’s and are discriminated against.

So, we have give or take about 70 people registered for the actual protest right now. So each individual person is really representing approximately 100,000 adoptees alone! Now due to this gig being so late in the season this year ( and I warn you now, it’s even LATER in August next year) and all sorts of other complications, we actually only have two Adoptee Rights Coalition Board members able to be here this year.. and one of them would be me. I also happen to be one of the few people who have five of these under their belt. So, not tosound all pumped up on myself coz I hate that, but it’s kinda really good that I was able to make it happen.

An Incredible Group Effort

And that’s the thing. I didn’t MAKE it happen. YOU did! I asked for help and you all gave it. And because of the most generous contributions to me from AdoptionLand, I am now sitting her in the Atlanta airport calmly drinking an ice coffee and waiting for Cheerio to get in.

So because of YOU, whether it was a donation, or a coffee gift card, or an offer of sharing your hotel room or even a few lovely offers of local folks opening up their HOME to me, really a complete stranger, I am able to be here and do what I consider to be one of the most important pieces of “work” that needs to be done in order to make, hopefully, someday, adoption to be more like what the industry pretends it should be.

The Bigger Impact of Your Support in Adoption Truths,/h2>

It is my FIRM belief that so many pieces of the adoption puzzle, or the false house of cards created by the adoption industry rests upon the issue of sealed adoption records.

Yes, adult adoptees should be treated equally. Yes, this is the ONE part of the mistake I made in relinquishing Max that I can actually undo. But more than that ( which is already a whole lot!)…I really think that IF we get enough states to restore access to the adoptees, then the rest of the states will follow. And IF we get most of the country to allow adult adoptees to be treated equally, then more folks will be able to find their true identity and their own personal truths as they deserve. And IF the true stories of their relinquishments come out… no more “loved you so much” crap, but the forced relinquishments, the pain, the losses, the never ending grief.. everything out of the closet, then more and more people will see what adoption really is… and I tell you… I believe it in my heart, we will see the house of lies come falling down.

And, so.. as I sit here, in Atlanta, I thank you for helping change the world. It’s not just support, it’s not just money.. it is hope. And I promise, as I always I will do my damnest to carry it out to the end.

I wanted to list names here, but I have to admit that my final list I bought on the plane has a few missing and I do NOT want to leave anyone out! So I will just stay true to my goal of transparency and say that within 24 hours, I told Rye, “Honey, they are sending me to Atlanta. I am going to have to go and it will NOT impact our family at all in any monetary way.” and that is 100% the truth.

My most heartfelt thanks.

PS, please expect more typos than usual. I am on the Ipad only. :)

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Claudia Corrigan DArcy

About Claudia Corrigan DArcy

Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.
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2 Responses to In Atlanta; Thanks to YOU!

  1. Victoria Gallegos says:

    So glad you are going to be here! I would love to meet you tomorrow, but I understand that may be near impossible. Just know I am behind you 100%!

  2. Pingback: 2013 Adoptee Rights Demonstration Reflections; Claud's Atlanta Adventure Story | Musings of the Lame

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