What Does Adoption By Gentle Care Have to Say About Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns?

Statements Made by Adoption by Gentle Care About Caroline (“Carri”) Stearns

This is a statement that Adoption by Gentle Care issued on their Facebook page on September 8th around 6:30 EST.

Now obviously, much of what is said here is wrong. But before we delve into the nitty-gritty of how they are again manipulating the events to serve them just as they have manipulated the law to serve themselves, I just want to point out one thing:

The fact that they HAD to issue to statement in itself is a very good thing.   More than anything they do NOT want people finding out the truth and by issuing a statement they might think they are quenching fears, but probably are causing more questions to be asked. Questions that they are NOT answering, but must have been asked too many times already, therefore leading to this statement. However, because they will  not / cannot answer honestly, more folks will be apt to look into this themselves. Lord knows if you tell someone that someone is saying horrible things, but don’t say what curiosity gets the best of most people.

Statements Made by Adoption by Gentle Care About Caroline "Carri " StearnsThe Continued Lies of this Unethical Adoption Agency in Ohio

Their words are in black with my notes in red. Red = truth.

To All Who Care

About Adoptions

At Adoption by Gentle Care, we care deeply about all whom we touch – birth mothers, adoptive parents, and especially the children we place in loving families. Guided by this spirit of caring, (::Cough cough:: Caring? Spit) we have successfully placed 2,027 children since 1985 when we began operating. (One word Grayson Vaughn not so “successful” since that adoption was overturned at the Ohio Supreme Court level and your current director, then social worker, was held in contempt for that case.)

That’s what makes it very distressing when even a single member of this extended family is unhappy with us. In researching our agency on the internet, you may come into contact with blogposts and other communications revolving around a birth mother named Caroline (Carri) Stearns*. Ms. Stearns placed a newborn with us for adoption last spring, but even after the exhaustive written and oral warnings and waiting periods the law requires, she apparently changed her mind.  ( because she was under duress as you knew and under medication as you knew and ignored. But let’s talk about those “exhaustive written and oral warnings and waiting periods the law requires” You had forms that required signatures. Your social worker did NOT ensure that they were read at the ONLY pre-birth meeting held three days before the baby was born at a oh-so-private and professional Bob Evans restaurant.  As testified in court, she just signed them with out reading anything because she trusted your social workers to be on her side like a friend. And we know that  the only reason this meeting was insisted on as then the clock starts ticking right after birth that would allow a mom to sign 72 hours after birth, rather than 72 hours after that first meeting post birth. That’s the ONLY waiting period that Ohio law requires. And after that, there is NO revocation or time period allowed for a mother to change her mind, so if she happens to be on medication, post birth hormones and sleep deprived , then you are free and clear to manipulate her emotions and crisis as you see fit, which, sadly, is what you did.) She sought to reverse herself after fully completing the legal, “Permanent Surrender” of custody that is the basis for all adoption, and immediately made allegations that AGC had defrauded and unduly influenced her. ( Only after she requested the return of her child after 3 days post consent and you refused. And kept refusing. And after the baby, still a newborn, was returned to your care by the original pre-adoptive family and put into foster care by you,  you still refused stating that since she “went public” you needed to “punish” her)

You can understand why a Permanent Surrender must be held sacrosanct. If it isn’t, then adoptive families could never be sure its adoptive son or daughter was there to stay, and could never be free of the risk of traumatic disruption.

You can understand that  Adoption by Gentle Care cannot ever admit that they regularly subscribe to allowing mothers to sign consent forms while under pressure or medication post birth because then people might doubt their ethics. Most adoptive parents NEED to believe that their adoption agency  is really only finding homes for children that NEED homes, not taking babies away from mothers who not only want them. but are fully capable and loving mothers. It’s an ethical adoptive parent’s WORST nightmare. 

AGC, believing it acted appropriately and complied with all laws and regulations, declined to dissolve the Permanent Surrender.  (which would have been a really kind and humane thing to do, but instead of putting the baby’s needs first and admit to a mistake, you banked on the erroneous fact that Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns wouldn’t continue to fight for her son because so many folks do not.) Unhappy with that declaration from us, Ms. Stearns began a campaign of internet posts ( Nah, that really was NOT her doing) and, eventually, court action to undo the legal compact that she had (UN) willingly made. There were and continue to be vicious, often false, ( also known as TRUE) attacks on AGC.

But the outcome is this: This case received intense review. It was investigated by the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services, and by the Ohio Counselor, Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist Board, both of which found no irregularities in the actions of Adoption by Gentle Care.  ( Which only means that your paper work was in order. It says nothing other than the fact that she blindly signed everything that you said she should because if not ” then the adoption process would be delayed and the baby would go to foster care”) The office of the Ohio Attorney General was notified, and no action was pursued against the agency. ( except for that not public investigation in the charity department that your own attorney didn’t even know about, but yes, continue to deny that because people cannot research it)  Ms. Stearns then filed a lawsuit in court, claiming fraud and undue influence. Eight witnesses took the stand and testified at the trial in July and August of 2014. Following trial, the Court ruled that Adoption by Gentle Care had acted properly and rejected the birth mother’s claim.  (Yes the Judge, after 15 minutes, did grant your motions to dismiss the Writ. And now it  will be heard by the higher court in appeals.) Moreover, the father of the child, under oath at trial, fully supported the placement for adoption. ( Hey, by your own words ” he doesn’t matter” )

Adoption by Gentle Care adheres to the highest standards, and will follow through on the law and on our commitments, as we do for every client.

No you do not. You ignore and disregard the laws to suit your needs.

*Normally, the birth mother’s name would be confidential, but she herself chose to publicize it when she filed lawsuits and posted her name on the internet.

So then the law of confidentially can be swept under the rug? You have the right to do that now too? Interesting.

So the statement itself, crap that it is, is a good thing. It means that people are asking them questions and wondering why they have worked so hard to separate this mother and child.

Of course, they are scrubbing the page of any less than positive comments including legitimate questions and banning folks left and right.

I suggest that you SHARE the post and add your own comments to the top of your status. In this way, they cannot censor your words and  in order to take us all down and prevent us from sharing the truth, they have to delete the original statement.

What Adoption By Gentle Has Said in Private about Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns

Now a few days before  the above statement was issued, an adoptive mother who had actually adopted FROM Adoption by Gentle Care asked them about Camden and Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns.  Megan Kennedy, a  social worker for AGC, answered this adoptive mother. This  is a direct copy and paste of what Megan said via this adoptive mother in black  with the reality of what happened in red.

Slanderous Statements Made by Adoption by Gentle Care About Caroline Carri Stearns“Here is what they wrote me:)

Basically she signed a Surrender and decided 2 weeks later she regretted her decision.

It was not two weeks, but only 7 days after Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns gave birth which is THREE days after signing the relinquishment consent.

The birth father is involved and says adoption is whats best.

The birthfather who your agency reminded her again and again was NOT supportive and based on what was said in court “didn’t matter”

She would not come in talk with us.

You never asked her to. When she told Kelli she was having concerns, Kelli hung up in her.

She went from 0 to 1000 and started calling attorneys and anti adoption people.

Not really. Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns started calling attorneys after Kelli hung up on her and got in touch with me on Arpil 24th almost a full month after Camden was born.

She has some serious mental health issues and is telling a very interesting story about what happened.

No, that is slander. She has not one diagnosed mental health issue. Plus, can one who is mentally unstable as you say be considered able to be competent to sign an irrevocable consent? Story= truth.

She immediately started turning emploees and the agency into boards (licensing boards, attorney general, ODJFS)

Again, not really. People who did not do their jobs properly and broke laws were held accountable as they should be.  The Attorney General’s office was contacted and they opened up an investigation.  Yes,  the Ohio state Counselor, Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist Board was contacted to investigate you after YOU personally tried to use Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns’ medical release form to get said fraudulent ( IE not allowed to use in court) “mental health” profile to use against Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns in court when it specifically was to be used ONLY for the adoption that subsequently failed.

The SW she is accusing is a Master level social worker who takes her job very seriously. Basically she choose the wrong person to say she was pressured.

Well if that is “serious” then she needs to go back to school. She counseled Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns to lie. She cut corners and opted to ignore Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns’ Native American heritage rather than just simply check the Tribe’s enrollment. She took notes on the alleged putative father, but then didn’t bother to list him. She tookCaroline ( “Carri”) Stearns’ consent knowing that she was under medication. And she knew, without a doubt and even expressed it in her own casenotes that Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearnswas under pressure to relinquish.

ODJS gave a pop up audit and we received 100%.

That only means that you had your “paperwork” in order.

 Carri could not find an attorney to help her.

That’s a complete lie. Her first attorney was a FOUNDER of Adoption by Gentle Care. And now she has a full legal team dedicated to helping her go forward on the appeals.

Her latest attorney does not even practice family law.

Yes, they do.

During the trial the judge ruled without us putting up a defense.

OMG a TRUTH. Yes, this did happen. If you want to take pleasure and see it as a win that the judge ruled after 15 minutes of deliberation after over 50 some odd hours of testimony; fully KNOWING that it was going to be appealed and knowing that he had given good reason for the appeal to be heard, then you just hug that close.  That the ruling was wrong and cowardly only speaks for the judge who was retired and perhaps didn’t want to deal anymore after his extended vacation.

Since the trial we are very concerned about returning a child to her care.

Oh, really? Could have swore that you testified that you were concerned before? Isn’t that part of the defense? Of course, she was in sound mind and body during the time she could relinquish, but not now? And of course, there is not single case against her by any other oversight such as child protective services  and her five other children are perfectly happy and well in her care.

She is being evicted from her house by the boyfriend b/c she will not leave willingly.

She already HAD plans to move  because, honestly, who the hell wants to stay with a “man” who demands that  you to give up one of your children? No man is worth that! We’ll let you wonder about how that “eviction” is going. Check your sources.

She has a LONG history of lying and turning people into governing boards.

Yup; she doesn’t like it when people lie, cheat and don’t do their jobs. I wish more people took the time to speak out, then perhaps others, such as yourself, would not think you can continue to get away with this crap.

Basically she tries to ruin people’s careers.

Only after people make HUGE mistakes that dare to mess with her life. And again, it’s called accountability. No one is MAKING you make horrible mistakes. That’s your choice.

Non of the judges in the Juvenile court would hear her case b/c they have had run ins with her and don’t like her.

Umm NO. YOUR counsel had all the Juvenile court judges recused.

One judge was going to testify against her at trial. This is how bad it is.

Yeah, because you asked subpoenaed her. And there was another judge who was ready to testify on her behalf that YOUR judge was lying.

I do not think the appealete  ( spelling!) court will even hear her case b/c it is so bad.

The appellate court already TOLD your counsel NOT to cause any more trouble ( which you did with the whole recuse the entire bench), that this case looks really bad for AGC, and that they want it settled. They did NOT dismiss the Writ when they could and you bet your bottom dollar that this is NOT over. Camden Will come home.

Oh, but now Adoption by Gentle Care is accusing Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns of slander and libel? But you go and tell others in the public that she is crazy. Nice.

So that is what Adoption by Gentle Care has to say, both publicly and privately, about Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns. Notice how they refuse to say that Camden is still sitting in foster care. They cannot admit the truth because most adoptive parents are equally horrified by the idea of this child suffering needlessly.

 This post is optimized for anyone searching for Carri’s name; Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns. Please link to it using the words like this: Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns. If you use Carri’s name in anything, please make it a link back to here.

About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

4 Comments on "What Does Adoption By Gentle Care Have to Say About Caroline ( “Carri”) Stearns?"

  1. The court ruled on the eviction.

    • Yes, Kevin they did.. And the objection to that ruling will be heard by the Judge on Monday.
      But let’s talk about that eviction and how it came about. Maybe the truth about how Jeff lied repeated to Carri about the process and agreed that he would call his cousin Brian the over exuberant lawyer and tell him to hold off because there was an agreement. Maybe we should talk about the fact that this whole eviction was done because of retaliation as Jeff was angry that Carri’s legal team called him to testify in the Camden case. You know since, Jeff was the one who presented the whole need to Camden to adopted to begin with. Maybe we should mention that it is the inability of Jeff to be able to face that very real reality that has lead to non stop lies on his part so that he can look at himself in the mirror as his main concern was obviously never Carri and never the children that loved him and trusted him as father figure, but saving face in the light that Carri had cheated on him.Because THAT was his big concern. That people would ” know” by the proof of this poor innocent baby that when Carri was hurting and in grief over her father’s death that she turned to another for comfort, rather than this now known piece of shit joke of a man. I mean rather than saying to people, “Yes, we had troubles, but we are working it” he played the a poor me narcissist card and lied.. over and over.
      Yeah, Carri is moving as she had planned to for a long time now. In fact, one of the first things she said to me was that she didn’t know if their relationship could survive the choice that Jeff pushed on her and I agreed that it would take work, but lord knows know that it is clear that anything that actual takes real effort is just not Jeff’s cup of tea. I used to feel sympathetic towards him, thinking that he had done what he did, however, unforgivable, because he was hurt, but now? He’s just a complete piece of chit in my book and I am so glad that Carri is getting away from him. The saddest thing is that in hindsight, she could have, should have, told him to fuck off back in March and moved then with all of her children in tack, but because the other children would have been uprooted, she tried to do what Jeff wanted and now not only is she fighting for her infant child, but has this lying asshole repeatedly kicking her when she is down and then bringing her coffee and filing her car with gas? How come if he soooo was unhappy, he gets sad if Carri won’t say Good Moring? How come he arranged to have a conference meeting with the kids school after the eviction date? Because I see that kind of behavior as freaking delusional.
      So, Kevin, since you are so connected and know already wheat happen yesterday, why don’t you ask Jeff why, if he had so many times asked Carri to move out and she just refused ( LIES) , how come he bought the airline tickets for “the family” to go to Florida this year after the eviction date that Brian arranged?
      I’m SO glad she is getting away from him, but wish that this idiot had had a shred of decency to go about it with kindness as he agreed rather than kicking a woman who he had already tried to destroyed in the most awful way possible. In the end, though, it will be better for her and he can just rot within the false reality of his empty life.

  2. Keep publicizing the truth about this, Claud. Let’s keep the pressure on. Let’s show the world what adoption agencies really do and what they are really like.

  3. AGC could improve their reputation by giving Camden back to his natural mother, Carri, with no further delay. That way PAPs and the general public would know that this agency does not place babies who are not willingly given up for adoption. The prospective adoptive couple has shown their personal ethics by not keeping a child under these circumstances and they have maintained their good reputation. AGC should follow their example and the agency’s reputation would be immediately improved.

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