Before Making an Adoption Plan

before making an adoption planIf you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are considering giving the baby up for adoption, there are many things you should know before making an adoption plan.

In fact, there are many things that you should know about the process of adoption before you make any contact at all with a infant domestic adoption agency.

  • Even if you think it would be a good idea to make a few inquiries and get some information about their newborn adoption programs, please STOP TALKING TO THE ADOPTION AGENCIES and READ.
  • If you are already in contact with an adoption agency and talking to them about giving up your child for adoption; please STOP TALKING TO YOUR ADOPTION SOCIAL WORKER, no matter how much you like her, and READ.
  • If you have already “chosen” adoption and are worried about finding the perfect set of parents,; please STOP LOOKING AT ADOPTION SITUATIONS AND DEAR BIRTHMOTHER LETTERS ONLINE and READ.
  • If you are already matched with a lovely pre adoptive couple and have plans to pick out a changing table next week, please STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW HAPPY YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THEM  and READ really really fast.

Or watch this three minute video real quick and THEN READ!

After It’s Too Late in the Adoption Process

If you have already relinquished your rights to your child and think it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, please don’t waste your time telling me that I am crazy and have no idea what I am talking about. Come back and see me in five or ten years.

If you have lost your child to adoption and realize that this post relinquishment life is not panning out exactly as the adoption agency told you it would, or are wondering why you still feel this way, or suddenly feel like you’re going to lose it, then Welcome Home.

 Read more about what every Adoption Agency does NOT want you to know!!

Most Recent Adoption Blog Posts Talking about all the things other Birth Mothers learned after it was too late:

If I Knew Then…

By Susie More thoughts from the American Adoption Congress Conference: After I had agreed with Suz to participate in her “Mitigating and Managing Collateral Damage: Impact of Adoption on the 1st Family” presentation, I thought of many examples of the collateral damage in my life. When it came to the “managing and mitigating” part, the only thing I could come up with was to not lose a child to adoption…

Posted in Before Making an Adoption Plan, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Finding Christopher Finding Myself | Leave a comment

“I am A Birth Grandmother Walking the Open Adoption Trail”

By Lori Holden What is it like when your daughter places your granddaughter for adoption? Mary Jo Bennett shares what the journey has been like for her.   The Ambivalence of a Mother-Slash-Birth-Grandmother When your first grandchild is born into an open adoption, it’s not easy.  Many of the landmarks of becoming a grandmother are skewed.  Right out of the gate, when your child tells you she is pregnant and…

Posted in Before Making an Adoption Plan, Costs of Adoption, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, Open Adoption Stories, Open Adoptive Mom Lori Holden | Leave a comment

Statements Made By Adoptive And Hopeful Adoptive Parents – More Education Is Still Needed

By AstridBeeMom “As an adoptive mom, I honestly think that there is nothing worse that one mother can do to another mother than withholding promised contact with a child.” As a member of the adoption community I come across many comments from adoptive parents through various outlets on the Internet. My blog has always focused on the unethical side of adoption as that is what needs addressing. Over the past…

Posted in Before Making an Adoption Plan, Cultural Views on Adoption, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, Musings of a Birthmom | Leave a comment

Sibling Grief In Adoption

By AstridBeeMom “I never know what to say when someone asks me how many brothers or sisters I have.” This came out of my 12-year-old’s mouth while I was driving the other day. There was no warning for a statement such as this. No conversation that I can think of that brought it on. We were listening to the radio and she just blurted it out. It caught me off…

Posted in Before Making an Adoption Plan, Costs of Adoption, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, Musings of a Birthmom, Relinquishment | Tagged | Leave a comment

The Trauma of Mothers Who Have Lost Children to Adoption

By Mirah Riben In a public hearing before the Assembly Institutions, Health and Welfare Committee on Adoption, December 9, 1981, in Trenton, New Jersey, attorney Harold Cassidy made the following impassioned plea: There is a need for us in society to learn to know the women who have come to call themselves ‘birth-mothers.’ They are women who know that a child is part of his mother forever… They know the…

Posted in Before Making an Adoption Plan, Cultural Views on Adoption, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, Relinquishment | 1 Comment

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