What the date tells me above is what I already know. If you are writing about adoption, then the word adoption needs to be used. And if one is writing about issues in adoption that pertain to being a mother who relinquished, then I want those 1/3 a million monthly searches to have a chance of finding things here and that means using the word birthmother. I won’t call you one, but I’m going to write with it.
I don’t care about how you got by my side, who you are, color, creed, place in the triad, age or adoption era; all I care about is if you are at my side or not. We all need to work together, use our collective voice, and cry out to fix adoption. Face the facts about adoption, then you must demand ethical reformation.
Adoption is particularly hard because it is never something we really learn about before we find it in our lives. I know I never dreamed that one day I would grow up, have a baby, give him to other parents to raise and not see him for 19 years. I believe that is true for many adoptive parents as well. Maybe you always felt that you would eventually adopt a child, maybe you were always intrigued, maybe you thought about it long and hard, or maybe suddenly, you just felt that you were thrust into it, maybe you entered it blindly; I don’t know, but I bet, looking back now, you would say that you had no idea what the experience of adoption a child would really be like. That you think now there was no way to have planned for it all. You could not have known
The Family Research Council claims to have conducted MORE research for the Birthmother, Good Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption, but after reading the two of them entirely, I believe that this new publication is still coming off of the original study. Both reports use the same copy for the methodology and both have the same research group, with the same number of participants in the same age ranges. I see Birthmother, Good Mother: Her Story of Heroic Redemption as a modified piece that demonstrates the actual twisting of the mind of a women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. It’s really like a “How to Create an Kool-Aide Drinking Happy Birthmother” guide. It’s really rather frightening. I’m not sure whether women are really that easily manipulative or we are just really stupid for falling for this. Or maybe it’s just all internal and they have managed to tap into it. All I can tell you is that this feels like reading the inside of my brain during the whole adoption process.
In 1999, the Family Research Council In conjunction with the National Council for Adoption conducted research to understand the factors involved in considering adoption and how best to present adoption as a viable option for women. The Missing Piece: Adoption Counseling in Pregnancy Resource Centers by Curtis J. Young is the result of that study.
“In choosing adoption they can now see themselves as good mothers, the highest form of motherhood – the mother who chooses what is best for her child regardless of sacrifice it requires of her. In doing what is best for her child, she fulfills her need to see herself as a good mother and accept the pain of relinquishment. In this way, she transforms agony of the entire story into a redemptive experience where she becomes a heroine in her own eyes and in the eyes of others.”
Current rates of adoption at most pregnancy resource centers are extremely low. Although no formal statistics exist, spot-checking adoption rates at larger centers indicate that it should rates commonly are below 1%. In 1999, the Family Research Council undertook further research to understand complex array of factors involved in considering adoption and how best to present adoption as a viable option for women.The research is designed to identify underlying factors that either inhibit or motivate the consideration of adoption in both single, pregnant women and in pregnancy counselors. The research focused on discovering the most basic impressions that women in counselors have about adoption and on the psychological dynamics of decision making concerning adoption.
But adoption is different these days. Surely, you must think that open adoption is better. Adoption just not the same as what you went through. “Really?” I want to say in my best snarky roll my eyes to the god’s way, “Really? You mean human nature has changed so much that mommas actually like giving away their babies?” But there IS a change in adoption. It’s just harder to see.
Yeah, you read that right. I actually am having trouble believing it myself, but it’s true. On the eve of the final mass preparations for the Adoptee Rights Protest in Philly, I read this comment in my email box from an agency regarding my post about birth mother grief: This is a stunning, painfully true description of the birthparent experience and we thank you for your candor and courage in…
Honestly, really. I think I should get paid off for relinquishing Max to adoption. The happy fuzzy feelings from relinquishment and my adoption counseling has worn off. It’s been gone for years now. Instead, I think maybe getting at least some cash for the years of pain and suffering won’t do any good in getting back what I lost, but nothing ever will. At least, I could get some new…
I think this is really important. Please, spread this news: We have consisitantly been fustrated by the unscrupolusness of the adoption agencies as a whole. Between their blantnet marketing, their trolling for expectant mothers who are young and unwed, recruitment and false advertsiment, the lack of truthful impacts of adoption, the lack of regulation and oversight,and general coersive and exploitive practices; agencies often seem very unstopable. They have the power…
These Angels Aren’t Telling the Whole Story By Ian Robinson INTER-COUNTRY ADOPTION 18 Nov 2008 Deborra-Lee Furness wants us to import a lot more children from other countries for the Australian adoption market — but it’s an ignorant and selfish approach to the problem of child poverty, writes Ian Robinson In a recent Weekend Australian Magazine, Deborra-Lee Furness breathlessly told her interviewer that there were “103 million orphaned children in the world”. “How can…
So Thursday afternoon I sat at my kitchen table for about 2 hours and babbled on about adoption as I do with Jesse Smith, the Ulster Publishing reporter. It was actually quite enjoyable..Jesse being a cool mellow guy that he is..and, well, I am aways pretty happy talking about adoption. Anyhoo, he seemed pretty excited about it all, was going to do some more research, was happy it was a…
October 15 – 16, 2007 Conference Highlights & Meet the Bloggers Update Reserve Hotel Now – Discounts end Sept 14th! Ethics Conference Draws Prominent Speakers, Presenters and Attendees from Around the World NEW YORK, Sept. 7, 2007 – The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and Ethica, Inc. are delighted to announce today that nearly 200 adoption experts, researchers, mental-health professionals, practitioners, triad members, media representatives, and policy and practice professionals…
A Child’s Waiting , the agency that used and abused Stephanie Bennett has been found to be non compliment. Meanwhile, it seems the people who have had Evelyn and refused to give her back on the advice of A Child’s Waiting have moved out of state.