Ethical Adoption

The Adoption Community NEEDS the Churches

I think that many folks in adoption land were injured by the church and have also walked away from the conventions of organized religion. After all, Catholic Charities, Lutheran Services, Salvation Army, the LDS church, etc. all had a strong hand in the relinquishment experience for many mothers of the Baby Scoop Era. And, many adoption agencies today still have strong religious affiliations. God is often used to justify adoptions and let’s face it, that makes many of us angry again all over. So we have understandable separated ourselves from it. Big mistake.

What I have begun to understand by reading The Child Catchers is that we have hurt ourselves with this stance. I’m just as guilty as any. I, living in nice liberal blue state of New York purposely mock and laugh at things like “creationism” or “Christian Rock” and are very critical of the values that morph into policy such as abstinence only policy and the whole Right to Life movement. I know I have, and I think many of us do, separate ourselves as an “us versus them”, seeing all people with Christian values as purposefully ignorant and not worth paying attention to. This attitude is wrong.


The Child Catchers- Rescue, Trafficking and the New Gospel of Adoption

It was with great anticipation that I waited for The Child Catchers. Sadly, while we can all blog, and self publish, and get memoirs going, the “non biased” pen of the non adoption affected if often needed to bring the anecdotal facts home for the general public. It’s like they can’t believe “us”, probably because they do not want to, and dismiss it as “your experience” believing us “too close” to see the full picture. Making Kathryn’s eyes, her words, like balm on the ever oozing wound.
The Child Catchers- Rescue, Trafficking and the New Gospel of Adoption is a must read, must have on any adoption bookshelf.


A Backwards Stinking Mess with New Michigan Adoption Legislation

The Michigan Republican’s seem very proud of their efforts per their “news brief” on these adoption bills. Based on the literature, they are claiming to “will help Michigan mothers and children” and of course, how could that be a bad thing? The ( more than) five separate and quite complicated bills are being added in to the already existing maze of Michigan adoption laws on the books under the general heading of adoption. It becomes easy to see how the general public gets confused regarding all the many aspects of adoption and jumbles it up in a happy every after story mess when our leaders are so guilty of the same.


The Open Adoption Experiment

I look at the photographs of my childhood and I can see the big smiles, and all the gifts under the Christmas tree. I can see how most people would look at me and see a happy adopted 16.5 year old girl. Most people would think I am lucky to have two families, other adopted people may think I am fortunate to know my genetic history, my heritage and where I came from. But what I see is different from what other people see; I can plainly see the pain behind the smile.



All Wrong: Defense of Marriage Act and Adoption Don’t Belong Together

It’s not the “gay” that makes adoption lesser, for adoption is an equal opportunity loss provider. Children who are adopted, no matter how wonderful their gay or straight parents are, have already experienced a known harmful trauma; the breakage and separation from their original family. It’s not that they are getting substitute Daddy in place of a substitute mommy, or trading a daddy for a second mommy that is adding to the issues. It’s that the mommy and dada that they were born to have been replaced at all: period.

But that STILL has nothing to do with Marriage Equality. Nothing.


Missouri Adoption Legislation HB 252: Letters Needed Stat

I was alerted the other day that Missouri has new adoption legislation in the House of Representatives. While we like to see adoption laws updated, there are a few issues with HB 252. While the contact preferences for OBC access are often included in any Adoptee Rights legislation in order to make the legislators feel warm and cozy, allowing one party to deny another their legal documentation is not treating ALL adoptees equally.There is also a portion of the bill having to do with Open Adoption Agreements. In essence, the issue is not that they are saying that there can be enforceable open adoption agreements, it is in the enforcement aspect that the language gets a bit too vague.


15 Solutions To Fix Adoption in America

I do not believe that we will see the end of adoption completely, but these solutions could very well produce a country like Australia where the relinquishment rates dropped about 95%. That is not unrealistic to me. Ideal, yes, but… People will want children that they cannot bare, and here will be people who have children who do not have any desire to ever be a parent. Yes, adoption will still be there, but let it be a safe guard that provides families for children who need homes rather than finding children for families that want them. Adoption relinquishment should be seen as the last possible choice.


Another Father Fights for His Parental Rights

“Baby Hailey” is almost three years old. Since before she was born her Father has been trying to establish his parental rights.. The travesty of California court, which had previously reinstated his paternal rights, is now used to exercise another wanna-be adoptive mothers fantasy under the name of unlawful guardianship application.


Craigslist: You Can’t Sell Your Baby, But You Can Advertise FOR a Baby

Now, it’s considered OK for the potential birthmother to answer an ad, but she cannot place one, because then she is selling her baby. But, in reality she IS selling her child, she’s just not getting a good deal since she is going through the middle man. Yet, as a society we are outraged that a mother might consider getting something monetarily in exchange for her child.


I Own It; Making Mistakes, Accepting Responsibility and Regret

I would undo it, I would change it, but I can’t. Yes, I regret that I let my son be adopted. I know no one held a gun to my head and no one, in my case, forced me to sign those papers. I know that I had my reasons at the time and they are perfectly acceptable reasons and common to adoption practices to this day. In many ways, I know that I was an ideal birthmother and I admit, over and over, that I was visibly a “content, peaceful and happy” birthmother for many years. I am aware that I sent myself away; I plucked the idea of adoption out of thin air, and I presented it as a solution to my friends and family.



“Ripped Away From the ONLY Home the Child Has EVER Known”

Possession is nine point nine tenths of the law when it comes to child custody and contested adoptions. While dads try to understand this new reality of hell, try to find legal help, funds, and information; stumbling over punitive father’s registries, state paternity filing dates and out of state adoption agencies; they just sit back, and wait for him to get so defeated, so tired, so overwhelmed, that he just goes away, beaten. Just keep fighting.


ADOPTION AND AGENCY: American Adoptions of Marshallese Children

Julianne M. Walsh: Department of Anthropology  University of Hawai`i at Manoa 1999 Abstract: From 1996-1999 over 500 children were adopted from the Marshall Islands by Americans, placing the RMI well within the top twenty source nation for international adoptions. Without government regulation of this sudden and  rapidly growing phenomenon, the potential for misunderstanding and exploitation grew alarming to national leaders who supported a moratorium on foreign adoptions late in 1999….


Adoption Laws and Practices in 2000: Serving Whose Interests?

Ruth Arlene Howe; Professor, Boston College Law School February 8, 2005 After enactment of the first “modern” state adoption statute in 1851,adoption in the United States evolved as both a state judicial process and a specialized child welfare service to promote the “best interests” of children in need of permanent homes. During the last quarter of the century, however, developments have occurred which force us to ask whether U.S. adoption…