Search Results for choice

Inner Momma Bears Roar

Before Making an Adoption Plan, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons March 4, 2006

Momma Bears Unhinged and Non-thinking Pitfalls

How else can a mother be able to walk away from her child except that she feels that it is the best and only thing for her baby’s well being? Where else does she get that strength except from her internal momma bear? And what if that momma bear has been given the wrong messages? What is it is based on crazed idealistic fantasies and stupid lists based on doubt? What if she could harness all that internal strength needed to fight the grief and instead use it to fight all the reasoning behind a possible loss? What if she stopped trying to be the “best birthmother” but tried to be the best mother? What if adoption reasoning and lists and generic feel good thoughts of grateful and happy adoptive parents didn’t get in the way of natures supreme processes?

Adoption News March 1, 2006

How babies are treated in the beginning could shape the way they see the world

First impressions: Carolyn Skelton, CanWest News Service Saturday, February 25, 2006 VICTORIA – Until six years ago, Debby Takikawa was a counsellor in California who ran a family therapy clinic where she helped moms and dads form healthy bonds with their brand-new babies. Then she decided to make a 20-minute film for her clients. She started with the question: “What does it mean to a person to be ‘met’ at…

Adoptee Rights Day 2013

Adoption News March 1, 2006

Unintended Pregnancy Linked to State Funding Cuts

Unintended Pregnancy Linked to State Funding Cuts First-of-Its-Kind Study Cites Impact On Teenage Girls and Poor Women By Ceci Connolly Washington Post Staff Writer Wednesday, March 1, 2006; Page A06 At a time when policymakers have made reducing unintended pregnancies a national priority, 33 states have made it more difficult or more expensive for poor women and teenagers to obtain contraceptives and related medical services, according to an analysis released…

Adoption News, Pending Adoption Legislation February 26, 2006

Big Trouble for Reproductive Rights

Allot of us knew that it was going to happen. The way this current administration was so busy taking about family values. Georgie W speaking of the government funding maternity homes in the presidential debates. The ban of funding towards stem cell research, but over a million dollars going to funding embryo adoptions at Snowflakes in California. Aggressive and mandatory adoption awarness training for any place that provide abortions. The…

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons February 15, 2006

Epithany

In the course of being “active” with adoption online, I frequently come in contact with pregnant women who are thinking about placing. OK, I’ll admit it..I ( used to ) seek them out and look for them. I do feel the responsibility to give them insights to the big picture, long term ramifications, all the stuff that would really fall under “informed consent” but that we can trust the agencies…

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Rants and Raves February 11, 2006

Thoughts on Anger & Double Standards

Funny how sometimes I don’t see how much all this thinking about stuff has really changed me..and then I do see it..and it is rather amazing. Why Are People So Afraid of Anger? I work with a young woman who has had a pretty rough road in life. I find her amazing and the word strong is definitely applicable. Her parents and her childhood are way less than perfect. That’s her…

when the thought of your adopted child finding you freaks you out.

A Birthmothers Life, Bad Adoption Practices February 9, 2006

We’ll call this the first installment of “Fables”

I gave Mauela big fat gold stars yesterday for taking on this post. Which brings me to here and then the need to continue with not true, but true horror stories of adoptions that should not be. Because it was said so well I want to quote her devineness here: “It is unacceptable to me that this type of unseemly adoption takes place at ALL. Although this is an exaggerated…

Adoption affects lives just like the ripples in a pond from a stone thrown affects the shores

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons January 24, 2006

The Long Term Ripples in Adoption

Sometimes, it comes with the birth of a second child that makes us realize what motherhood means, what was truly lost, what is gone forever.
Sometimes, it just comes with maturity. We become less self absorbed and see what we decided does not just effect us, does not just “build a family” that makes us feel good, but that the loss continues to grow and effect others in our lives in ways we could not see.
I tell the pregnant and considering adoption to look beyond the immediate. Not just at NOW, but at later.

A Birthmothers Life January 18, 2006

Lighter Fare or How to NOT Piss Off a Food Server

And while I am at it..you tea drinkers. We just hate you. All of us. Every waiter and waitress all over. Tea sucks. The NY Times said it. They did a survey. Tea is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I have to put the loose tea in the tea bag, temper your pot, heat your cup, guess if you want honey or lemon or milk or sugar…

Adoptionland- we have each other

A Birthmothers Life, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons January 14, 2006

My Friend Merridee

It’s her son’s birthday this week. That haunting look just flickered quickly though her eyes when she told me. No one could have noticed the quiver in her voice. I saw it. I know what a birthday means.
“When do you usually crash?” I asked her.
“I’ll get hit on Wednesday” she replied.

Before the adoption separation

A Birthmothers Life, Relinquishment December 29, 2005

This is What A Birth Mother Looks Like

My eyes stare into the camera as if saying “Mine, still mine.” Then I put those maternal feelings aside and took on the mantle of being a good birthmother. I look at this face of my own and think, “How could anyone not have seen it and not felt the absolute cruel injustice of separating me from this babe? Why did no one say ‘just don’t'”

A Birthmothers Life, Searches December 23, 2005

Getting Ready for Adoption Searches

Before I knew anything really about adoption searches and reunions, I had adoption fantasies about his 18th birthday and the telephone ringing, or the door knocking and tried to imagine how it would feel.It was pretty obvious that I knew little about adoption for real. I knew nothing about what an adoptee really could feel or think and my closest foray into a real reunion was watching Lifetime Movies.