And I bet you did not even realize that I was gone!! But I had a lovely view of this all week: Yes, dear readers..long at last, I, Claud, have done something quite unheard off in my life..I RELAXED! I took a vacation, thanks to the kind offer of KT who has a beach house on Long Beach Island..and I sat on my butt all week! No small feat as…
In 1987, President Reagan asked the Surgeon General to report on the medical and psychological impact of abortion on women. The report was expected by some Presidential advisors to have negative implications for Roe versus Wade, since that Supreme Court decision was based in part on the medical benefits of abortion compared to carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term. HHS set aside $200,000 from other projects for the abortion report,…
For anyone who missed the show…pretty much the whole thing is on the websight as linked above. I, of course was inspired, And though a beautiful helping hand, my letter went to a senior producer and I got to drop a name, though I have editted that out for the world to see here. —————————————– I watched the show tonight though a completely different perspective than the general target audience….
and I never really know what pushes me to take the next step in this journey. Sometimes I can see it…I see the next portion looming in front of me..like Stairs leading someplace that I need to get to. And I know I must do so, but I cannot. And oh, how I mull it over in my brain..play it out like a bad record, yet still frozen. I must…
When you send out research on birthmother reactions to adoption agencies. Hi Jan, I was researching Planned Parenthood and their affiliations to adoption agencies and came across Adoption Affiliates Website. I don’t want to come across as really nasty at all, but this following quote is just so wrong. It is really a lie. How will I feel about the adoption after it’s over? Most birth parents feel sadness, at…
You say “Gotcha” and my mind races back to those days;with no regard to what it might be like, was like, is like. There is no room in the word “gotcha” for me. And while I can understand the feelings of joy my son’s parents had; heck, I comforted myself with the fantasy of what it was like for them..to balance it out, to give the pain some meaning, some purpose besides myself; I like to think that they did think of me..wondered too..if I was sad and feeling alone, empty. Like I thought of them..full of joy..loving my child.
Disgusted said… I have read your blog with a mix of anger and interest. I find it boggling that you would be at peace with your decision to place your child for better than fourteen years until someone online changed your mind. Well then you have not read too well. It was not SOMEONE online, but a completely different viewpoint and new understanding and facts about adoption that I had…
To me there is a line. It doesn’t matter to me where you are when you are above (or below even) the line. You can be the most militant abolish adoption and hate it in all forms. You can be someone just struggling though. You can think that it worked out good for you personally. You can want reform, call yourself a first mom, an birthmom if you want. You can be in CUB, be in OriginsUSA, joined the social workers guild based on your experience, speak at conferences. I can’t judge that, that is YOUR truth. WE all fit somewhere..and does it matter exactly where you are on your journey?
Then you don’t make anonymous comments like this.. Why hide things? My two older children know about my son and that he was adopted by friends of mine. They know the whys, the hows, and everything else there is to know. My birthson now knows that he is adopted and most of why things turned out the way they did. When someone asks me about my kids I tell them….
…will never leave me, I fear. I just closed the back cover. It was a tremdous read. I was obsessed. I took it to work. I read it on the playground. I read it in Freindlies while the kids ate dinner. And though it all, in public, it would rock me so hard emotionally so that I became so choked up inside and tears streamed down my cheeks. It is…
The subtle coercion in adoption counseling often does not seem real. “Coercion” is such a harsh word. Adoption is seen as a decision, a wise choice; made by selfless mothers, for the good of others, for the betterment of her child. We give up our babies for adoption. In adoption counseling, we work on making our adoption plans. Adoption agencies do not truly violently rip children out of wailing mother’s…
and wait some more. I KNOW they have had to recieve the letter by now. I sent it Monday. It is Saturday. The postal service is not that bad. I keep on checking my bulk mail box and deleated any crap as I don’t want them to be lost in it. I keep checking my reglular mailbox too. I keep yelling myself that they will needs time to digest, process,…
I stand before you today as a New York woman born and bred. From the South Shores of Long Island, to the depths of New York City, to the green of the Hudson Valley, I am more of a patriot to New York, then America. I am also a mother to four children, one of whom I did not raise. I let him slip away to adoption in the fall…
There is no simple answer in adoption. Adoption is made of millions of individual experiences. We all have a thread in it. We all weave it together.
Adoption is not one color. It is not one shade. It is millions of different shades of gray, some threads change mid stream…from brightly colored, to the black of death, back to a pale whisper of what it once was. Some are almost invisible, but they are still there, holding their place, keeping the pattern alive.
So here’s the thing. When I think about all the mothers of adoption loss I “know”, I wonder why it is that we all seem to fall into the same type of catagory. Like really, I know of two groups. The moms from the Baby Scoop Era who were really and trully forced into maternity homes and made to surrender their children. And then there is the Willing Moms who…