Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

I fell..

DOWN!! At work last night..what should have been a quiet Tuesday night, especially with me working the patio..in October!..last week I had TWO tables all night… exploded in some random busyness. This was, of course, due to the fact that we were on a basic “short” staff..because the owner was having a big party at the catering facility..so sure, Murphy’s law, let’s make everyone want to come to dinner. So…


New Country

One of the things that has taken this nation by storm is MySpace. I have the ability to say that I joined a million years ago, when it was new and not “everyone” and their brother was on the dern thing. Our fiend Murry was all about getting Rye and I to get on it, though we thought it was way lame at the time. Now of course, since then,…



Womanfest Destiny

Caution: Brain spinning in circles, see below for details. Jumping of my marriage rant of the last post, Suz got it all down in her comment: how do i choose between what is my calling, what i am supposed to do and the person I am supposed to be and my husband who would prefer I fit into a neat little package? i want him by my side, proud of me,…


Depressed………

God, I feel mopey. I have figured out that naturally, like all things in life, I work on a cycle..so great happiness and highs are frequently followed by quiets lows, emotionally, socially, physical, energy wise. And I am not one to want to have all the highs, so I resist any temptation for medical use to make the lows more bearable, I just wad though them, knowing they will pass….


Tragedy and Stigma

I think I have a full post in here in the Noggin…I’m gonna peek, wanna come? There was a discussion on SoA regarding whether of not adoption can be seen as a tragedy. Still reeling from my conversation with Max’s dad (no, I have not heard from him nor have I heard form Max since I told him I saw his dad) and telling this man that yes, you have…


Oh the Conference….

Where to begin, what to say…So very much to report. What Suz says is all true..and so why rewrite? I am trully haunted by witnessing so much pain and loss, yet so honored to be part of it. It was AMAZING to finialy met so many “voices”..and be in the same room with them. So… I got to NY and first, I did “the” deed as covered in my previous…


The End of Procrastination: Telling the Birthfather He has a Son

Yes, right now that is all this meeting is to him, but to me, oh so much more. I have had this conversation with him, in my head, hundreds of times. This almost feels like deja vu as I have planned it so much, thought it out, played his responses, planned my perfect wording. No, much more than just old friends we are. I had his baby and gave him away to adoption.


My NY….five years 9/11

Driving on the LIE into the Midtown tunnel, you would knew that your were almost there when the Twin Towers graced the skyline. My children will never see that sight.


Let’s Discuss the Birthmother disaster…

This might go down in the “adoption history” timeline as the year that the adoption activists had the great rift. What started out as a gentle reminder, grew into a misunderstanding, adding some hurt feelings ,a bruised ego or two, mix in some folks who are adding a biased spin with darker motivations and WALA! You have a great rift, lines drawn in the sand, and everyone is a talking…


For once and for all!

Oh, lots and lots of discussion on the “B” term going on..and I don’t think I shall shy away from posting my view on the round and rounds going on, but…this has lead ( again!) to the question of: WHO COINED THE WORD BIRTH MOTHER??? It has been attributed to CUB. I have read that Betty Jean Lifton came up with it. I have heard it being used by Pearl…


How Not to Go Shoe Shopping.

It wasn’t even for my shoes. I don’t get shoes yet. Scarlett starts Kindergarten tomorrow and her feet have decided to grow in the last week, so all those tons of shoes we had..nope. I had to get her something since she has been wearing her cousins “boy shoes” this week…no bueno. Plus Garin, who strats high school ( OMG I have a child in high school ..ugg how did…


Twelve out of Twelve: #2 KP series

Headline: Twelve out of Twelve Scientific Studies find that Relinquishing a Child to Adoption is Harmful to your Health! In the summer of 1999, two certified nurse midwifes published a piece in The Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic and Neonatal Nursing. They took the twelve existing studies on relinquishing mothers from 1978 to date of publication and grouped the data and compared. Their final conclusion? “The relinquishing mother is at risk…


Knowledge is Power part I…

So last week I found a huge cache of real reseach studies linked to adoption, moms, grief, etc..and I am able to get my hands on them thought the local hospital medical library They are being kind enough to waive most of the fees..so thank you Mary the Librarian..and funnelling me a few bit by bit. I also have a lovely co-worker who is involved in medical research who will…


Grief in odd places…

Beleive it or not, this is not about adoption. I was at work tonight..and at one point I was standing behind, Nadia. I don’t know why, but I suddenly had the urge to just pat her shoulders..her back was to me. It’s a funny place, this resturant, and we all are pretty close to each other..lots of highjinks, teasing, jokes, so this was not any weirdo thing. I didn’t think…