Why Am I Depressed Every Year?
One of the things that I have learned in the many years of living life as a birth mother is that it is normal to be fighting depression at holidays and feeling sad on my adopted son’s birthday. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to fight it off and overcome the depression and holiday blues. It doesn’t matter how great the rest of my life might be. It doesn’t matter if I consciously even remember. On a cellular level, every year like clockwork, it hits.
The Normality of Adoption Birthday Sadness
While other people also suffer from the holiday blues, and other life issues to trigger adoption feelings during non-holiday times, a birth mother experiencing painful memories and sadness is normal on an adoptee’s birthday. On the same vein, many adoptees report of feeling sad and uncomfortable on their birthdays as well.
It makes it easier to overcome this depression in some way by understanding that the adoption holiday/birthday depression is normal and to expect it, rather than fight it. Know that it is situational depression and often, will pass with the change of the calendar pages. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way.
Please, though, if you find that you cannot handle fighting this depression, please find professional help!
Read more about expected feelings of sadness and depression around birthdays and holidays in adoption; click here.
Honoring All Mothers on Mother’s Day
By Mirah Riben Be kind to your web footed friends, For that duck may be somebody’s mother She lives in a hole in a swamp Where the weather is always damp My thoughts and prayers this Mother’s Day 2015 are for all the mothers, including those who do not always – or ever – get thanked, remembered or even thought of and those for whom the day holds sad reminders….
Teleflora’s Commercial Tribute to Young, Single Mothers
By Susie While wasting time on Facebook the other night, I kept seeing a link that several different friends had posted about a Teleflora commercial that had left them in tears. It left me in tears too. But for reasons unlike my friends. Especially during this month of May, that includes not only Mother’s Day, but also Christopher’s birthday. What a kick in the gut. This wonderful son, grown up…
Just Sitting with It; Not Fighting, Not Struggling, Not Suffering
This is my 27th year post relinquishment, so really, I know what to expect. I know what this feels like. I once wrote about this, comparing it to an old shroud, a mourning veil, a tired worn, threadbare sweater that I must wear until it falls off my bones. Hello darkness, my old friend.
2014 National Adoption Awareness Month
National Adoption Awareness Month? It’s the curse of November gathering on the horizon of my life; the looming shadow that darkens my days of fall, ruining my Halloween, making me anxious. November follows October and onward into National Adoption Awareness Month and the time leading up to Max’s birth and my “Gotcha” days.
There Is No Escaping Mother’s Day for Birthmothers
On a day meant to honor motherhood, you can’t help thinking of the one you never get to see. You can’t help missing those who are missing from your life. Mother’s Day, like birthdays and holidays of any sort, become a time to reflect and wonder where your child is and who he honors on that day. Does he think of you? Does he wonder? What is his name and are his eyes as blue?