Birthmother Holidays & Adoptee Birthdays

Adoption Birthday Blues

Why Am I Depressed Every Year?

One of the things that I have learned in the many years of living life as a birthmother is that it is normal to be fighting depression at holidays and feeling sad on my adopted son’s birthday.  It doesn’t matter how hard I try to fight it off and overcome the depression and holiday blues. It doesn’t matter how great the rest of my life might be. It doesn’t matter if I consciously even remember. On a cellular level, every year like clockwork, it hits.

The Normality of  Adoption Birthday Sadness

While other people also suffer from the holiday blues, and other life issues to trigger adoption feelings during non-holiday times, a birthmother experiencing painful memories and sadness is normal on an adoptees  birthday. On the same vein, many adoptees report of feeling sad and uncomfortable on their birthdays as well.

It makes it easier to overcome this depression in some way by understanding that the adoption holiday/birthday depression is normal and to expect it, rather than fight it. Know that it is situational depression and often, will pass with the change of the calendar pages. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way.

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Don’t Put Off an Adoption Cry

I do not “relax” well. I feel guilty when I am not producing things, making things, painting things, cleaning, things, commenting with a vengeance, writing, building sites, networking, etc. Yet, I have been waking up past TEN FREAKING AM and then staying IN BED until NOON. Yes, really. WTF. And that’s what I was doing on Christmas Eve morning, until, that is, I started crying….


Adoption Gift Ideas; The Perfect Birthmother Gift Basket!

Forget Tollhouse cookies, show her you really care by baking your birthmother unicorn poop cookies. It’s really just a sugar cookies recipe, BUT a bit more crafty. Maybe you are not the crafty adoptive mom type but, let me put to you this way, she made you baby and I don’t care how you cut it, placenta and amniotic fluid is way messier than some flour on your granite kitchen island, so get over it and get baking.


Public Worries and Celebrations; The Adoptee Birthday

Today, I shall find reasons to celebrate. My son was born 26 years ago today and though was separated from him for 19 years and 111 days until I saw him again, his birth is known and celebrated among many people he doesn’t know. A whole community thinks about him on this day and it was his birth that started it all.


Day 14 of Adoption Activism; NAAM2013 – Engage with Portrait of an Adoption

Introducing What “Anti-Adoption” Means to A New Group of Folks & hopefully reframe the concept of being “anti -adoption” in a way that is palatable for anyone who wants what is best for children and mothers and parents overall. These are very important conversations to have especially when they can reach a wider audience with many who have never even had the reason to think this way before.


Searching for Adoption Healing and Birthmother Advice

It’s bad enough that the adoption industry is still promoting that somehow it is OK to relinquish a baby to adoption and that the long term effects of relinquishment on birthmothers does not exists despite all the scientific research to the quandary. But by putting the impossible task to “healing from relinquishment” on the actual birthmother; they are also setting her up to fail.


Adoption Poetry: “Fallen Angel”

This is adoption poetryI put the wings on they gave me
Woven of diaphanous words
“Gift giver”
“Selfless”
“Angel”
They kept me aloft for awhile
Where I hovered above my son and his family
Their voices murmurs far below


Searching For Birthmothers on Huffington Post Live & AOL

I had NO IDEA that was going to happen, but it did. Ok, more exposure, right. Good for the cause and education of the masses. I ignore the stupid comments. I ignore the stupid comments. I ignore the stupid comments. Yes, that s a mantra for me, but please feel free to educated the masses. I guess they had the headlines messed up as well and I was supposed to be divorced three times?

Here’s some doozies:

“Cute, real Cute.. This is a Prime Example they have BIRTH CONTROL Girls Like her Should NOT have Children in the 1st place! That is what she should be