In the course of being “active” with adoption online, I frequently come in contact with pregnant women who are thinking about placing. OK, I’ll admit it..I ( used to ) seek them out and look for them. I do feel the responsibility to give them insights to the big picture, long term ramifications, all the stuff that would really fall under “informed consent” but that we can trust the agencies…
I am really annoyed with my mother in law. It has been kinda building up for a few months. I don’t hold a grudge, but tend to try to overlook things that bother me often, for the sake of peace. But I am at that enough is enough point. She was watching the beasts for me Saturday night while both Rye and I worked. Nprmally, I don’t work on Saturdays,…
I just hopped over to my mailbox and had a message alert fom my Max..so I am all happy..yeah..and then I read it. I am sitting here..shaking in my skin..crying..HE WANTS TO COME AND VISIT!!!!! My Baby..he’s gonna come see me!!! He will get to met his brothers ans sister and me and be here!!! HE’S COMING HOME!!!! God I love this guy!! I just have to share how amazing…
Funny how sometimes I don’t see how much all this thinking about stuff has really changed me..and then I do see it..and it is rather amazing. Why Are People So Afraid of Anger? I work with a young woman who has had a pretty rough road in life. I find her amazing and the word strong is definitely applicable. Her parents and her childhood are way less than perfect. That’s her…
The doorbell just rang and I know it was the UPS man. I was very bad..in a good way..and ordered something 170 dollars worth of books from Amazon. It was Garin;s fault really..he wanted some Ska DVD, but since I HAD to place an order…. I got Adoption Nation for 57cents!! Which is great because I need to read it with my highlighter so I can really know my stuff…
I gave Mauela big fat gold stars yesterday for taking on this post. Which brings me to here and then the need to continue with not true, but true horror stories of adoptions that should not be. Because it was said so well I want to quote her devineness here: “It is unacceptable to me that this type of unseemly adoption takes place at ALL. Although this is an exaggerated…
I would love to see a real deep physiological study done on the growing up, formative years of women who “choose” to become mothers of loss. My guess is that we were not loved unconditionally by mothers with issues who tended to be narcissistic I think our fathers might be either absent or didn’t stand up to our mothers rule. And maybe that could also be reversed too? I wonder if we ever felt worthy of anything, so how could we be worthy of our children?
It’s a hard battle to feel I am suppose to have anything I want and keep it. Sometimes I don’t feel I deserve it at all. And then, part of me screams how much I should have and I am entitled. But I still am afraid of the loss again.
Can’t say that I keep secrects; Here’s the story of how I was arrested for grand larceny! Never mind that Williams Lumber made 13K off that would not be in their pocket at all if I had not worked 70 plus hours a week for almost 3 months without any other compensation by them. They fired me, had me arrested and black balled my name.
So Scarlett’s birthday is tomorrow. I went out today..nothing like the last minute momma, and bought her a bicycle. I hadn’t really intended to buy her a bike, but it turns out it is a good thing. I was thinking a new play kitchen as we ditched the defunct Barbie kitchen to the front porch where maybe some Sunday someone besides me might actually bring ot out to the curb,…
She cleaned a mean house and laundry got done on schedule. And oh, could that woman shop!!! Shopping with my mother was a religious experience. Macy’s with my Mom on their “One Day Sales”…we would run to the register laden with bargains. The cashier’s worst nightmare.
Sometimes, it comes with the birth of a second child that makes us realize what motherhood means, what was truly lost, what is gone forever.
Sometimes, it just comes with maturity. We become less self absorbed and see what we decided does not just effect us, does not just “build a family” that makes us feel good, but that the loss continues to grow and effect others in our lives in ways we could not see.
I tell the pregnant and considering adoption to look beyond the immediate. Not just at NOW, but at later.
Ok, so we have this fishtank that my mother in law got for my youngest when he turned two. We couldn’t keep a fish alive in there for anything. We must have spent a huge sum of money on buying fish, and then gave up. And it sat empty. So at one point this summer, we went fishing with the kids and bought minnows. We didn’t end up using them…
I find this very amusing that I have documented my first awareness of Adam Pertman. I did actually call him the “devil” and I really did want to hate him. For the record, I do not hate Adam Pertman at all.
Will you document the Mothers who were lied to and forced to lose the children they so desperately wanted, or will you only show the few happy reunions of such broken women? Will you discuss the issues and problems of current adoption practices that do not really honor the bond between mother and child and how to make things better, or will you just show the smiling faces of the “happy good birthmother” and promote more adoptions for a 13 billion dollar industry?
And while I am at it..you tea drinkers. We just hate you. All of us. Every waiter and waitress all over. Tea sucks. The NY Times said it. They did a survey. Tea is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I have to put the loose tea in the tea bag, temper your pot, heat your cup, guess if you want honey or lemon or milk or sugar…