Hello December! NAAM2013 is OVER! Whew…

I survived #NAAM2013 T shirt

We Survived National Adoption Awareness Month 2013; Just Barely!

i_survived_naam_2013Little did I know when I made up the rainbow vomiting gnome #NAAM2013 shirts the word “barely” survived would be appropriate for me.  It was meant to be funny, but  it turned out to be a very self fulfilling prophecy. No, I haven’t even bought myself a NAAM2013 shirt yet!

I personally crashed. I crashed hard. And even when I wanted to get my head back into the game for the final days, well that whole Thanksgiving thing? Yeah, I realized that cleaning my house and prepping the food for our dinner of 12 was needing attention. So I did that.

Then, stuffed with the most delicious turkey cooked by Rye ever, AdoptionLand seemed so far away. I went for broke and decided to enjoy my visit with my brother and his lovely girlfriend Jen instead. And then, once I had missed ALL the final days of NAAM and could relax that December had come to save us from adoption propaganda overload for another year, I needed a recharge. My nose got all snuffily yesterday and I decided to rest.

So despite my best intentions to not drop the ball, I dropped it and truthfully, I am OK with that. At least I keep telling myself I am OK. I kind of have to be OK with is as it is done and really, being OK is better than making myself feel badly over it.  So here’s some things that I meant to do:

The Missing 30 Days of Adoption Activism:

Here’s a few petitions that I had on the list, but sadly, didn’t get scheduled, so when I went hiding, they got forgotten. Yes, mental note to self: plan earlier, schedule all the adoption activism actions ahead of time. This way, if you get overwhelmed again, the machine will keep on working!

STOP the Social Service’s Secret Adoption of Wanangwa Mvula’s Child


It’s UK petition, but all unethical adoptions need support!

Open Adoption Support


There are no laws in the state of Alabama to protect birth parents in open adoptions. The adoptive parents can do whatever they want but the birth parents deserve rights too. No one deserves to go through what we have. Not only does it hurt the adoptee in the long run, but it hurts the biological family so much. We NEED a law to protect birth parents.

For the Courts, States and Adoption Agencies with Closed Adoption Laws


Please sign this petition to help restore these rights to adoptees and have States such as Michigan and New York allow access to their original birth certificates and adoption agencies to allow full access to adoption records. Everyone deserves the right to know who they are, where they came from, and their medical history. Imagine what it could do for so many.

Meanwhile, Here Are Some Adoption Articles I Meant to Share

I keep trying to find a method to get my “AdoptionLand Weekly Roundups”  in some sort of pattern and upkeep. The plan of just pulling links to interesting things and keeping them on one document is kind of useless. So now, I will try to keep a list with the links and the brief synopsis of why I have pulled the links!

Another Article on using the Internet to “match” in adoption; http://archive.indystar.com/article/20131201/NEWS/312020007/Parents-use-Internet-adoptions-can-dangerous

What I didn’t like about this article was once again, making it be all about the poor poor prospective adoptive parents who WANT the baby.

Tweet the reporter: https://twitter.com/IndyMarisaK with facts. I did since I can’t seen to be able to comment on the article and that drives me bonkers.

Interesting article on a NY Man who was a black market adoptee; http://abcnews.go.com/News/black-market-baby-now-67-sues-proper-identity/story?id=18630424

Judy Miller, an adoptive momma friend and also a former writer at Grown in my Heart  has a great list of other things that should be consider during Adoption Awareness Month; http://judymmiller.com/2013/11/some-thoughts-about-national-adoption-awareness-month

Approved for Adoption gets a NYT Review; http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/movies/approved-for-adoption-a-documentary-memoir-by-jung-henin.html?_r=1& I found it to be kind of “meh” and quickly assumed it was written by a NAAI ( Non Adopted Affected Individual  yes, I just made that up!). One cannot comment on reviews, but one CAN write their own. So I pulled from my post here and did so. If you saw the movie, give it some love.

A great post from Shadow the Adoptee about Double Standards in Adoption:http://theadoptedones.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/shadows-spin-off-from-the-post-double-standards-in-adoption/

Another Adoptive Parent understanding that adoption starts with loss: http://www.laurencasper.com/2013/11/07/national-adoption-month-it-all-starts-with-ashes/

This Video from TedX is a MUST see!! While it is not adoption related, it is. It’s a lesbian talking about coming out of the closet and being brave, but her words are right for us all. Come out of your birthmother closet. Come out of the adoption closet. http://www.upworthy.com/a-4-year-old-girl-asked-a-lesbian-if-shes-a-boy-she-responded-the-awesomest-way-possible?g=2&c=ufb1

Ok this website is just cool…http://genetic.ulriccollette.com/ and I find it relates to the power of genetics

If you haven’t read this piece by Kathryn Joyce  on the Death of Internaltional Adoptee Hana Williams, then you need to: http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/11/hana_williams_the_tragic_death_of_an_ethiopian_adoptee_and_how_it_could.html

Oh, and I had a easy interview over at Adoptee Restoration if you haven’t read that: http://www.adopteerestoration.com/2013/11/an-interview-with-one-of-my-favorite.html I say “easy” because it was o course, Deanna, and she’s a real peach!

Lastly, Adoptee Allison Larkin is the new voice of the 200th Anniversary edition of Pride and Prejudice. Like it, Share it, support adoptee efforts! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pride-and-Prejudice-The-200th-Anniversary-Audio-Book/491867600911368?notif_t=fbpage_fan_invite

I’m sure there is more and I really need to get writing; but thoughts are just swirling around and not full formed.

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About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

4 Comments on "Hello December! NAAM2013 is OVER! Whew…"

  1. I just want to say that I have read your work recently and think it is amazing. I am not part of the adoption triad but what you have to say is important to everyone in America. I plan to continue learning about how our culture has accepted and promoted this practice of coercion and propaganda in the name of supposedly helping children and women. Infertility is sad and terrible but this is not the answer. I struggled with secondary infertility. Our culture always promotes adoption so I started thinking about it but never seriously pursued it. We stayed with one child. One thing that has always dogged me about adoption was the needs of the mother who must relinquish. I identified so much hern — after all if you are dealing with infertility you are dealing with loss too–the loss of child(ren) you cannot have. If I am grieving over a yet existent child, how terrible would it be to grieve over your own live one you just gave birth two. Plus, everyone knows that being a mother changes everything. You may be young, you may be uninterested in kids but then, bam, it happens, unplanned, and what do you know? You kick into gear and become a mom–you just need the support and if it can’t come from your family of origin or a partner then it should come from neutral counselors and caseworkers who let you know your options for financial and community support NOT only focusing on adoption. and information about adoption should include information such as results from sound research studies. Do you have educational materials that specifically address signing away your rights? These are your rights and it is not selfish to have them. Hello, the Declaration of Independence … life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for your child. I’m thinking something like Adoption = Signing away your parental rights. Open Adoption = Signing away your parental rights. One problem is that adoptees are a minority in this country so it is hard to affect legislation through numbers alone. But I applaud you because I know change takes time. There is a huge billboard for Lifeline that has always rankled me — it is right near the college where I work. I do know some faculty here who are sympathetic and one is a birth mother who has published a great deal on the subject. I think a rhetorical study of the advertising and language from the adoption agencies would be quite fascinating. Anyway, I have been with you in Adoption Land reading away and it is a tough place to be. Very emotional. Best wishes always.

    • ZB,
      It is always wonderful when someone who is not directly affected by adoption is open-minded, and wants to learn about it outside of the prevailing cultural brainwashing we are constantly exposed to about adoption.

    • ZB,

      This is a great blog and resource for anyone who has an interest in learning about adoption or someone whose life has been impacted by adoption. I’m someone who is part of a couple that is considering pursuing adoption (though still unsure of whether we will) and has learned so much by reading it. Claudia is an amazing person though I’ve never met her it’s based on what my interactions have been with her.

  2. Thanks for the shout-out for the post by my blogging partner Shadow. Hoping she blogs more in the coming year.

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