I know many birthmothers who have “chosen” to relinquish a child to adoption have great difficulty explaining the very subtle coercion and thought process that goes into it. It’s not so obvious to be called brainwashing. It is often not forceful enough to be openly accepted as coercion. We don’t even know or want to call ourselves “victims”. Is it the sophisticated manipulation tactic known as “Gaslighting”?
If there are other options that CAN BE sought BEFORE adoption, then the adoption itself, not matter how happy anyone claims to be, is a tragedy. “What about the mothers who truly aren’t able to parent?” If we want adoption to really be a good thing, ethical, and used as it should then we have to then ask, ‘What is the obstacle in her way that is making it less than idea for this mother to parent this baby?
There ALWAYS was a way for an adoptee to open up the sealed adoption records even IF ONLY by court order, then when Peter Kelly and John M. Czygier Jr., gave those VERBAL promises of confidentially to birthmothers while practicing adoption law in new York State, they LIED.
Immediate help is needed in contacting the following 11 subcommittee members to reiterate that HB524 is a civil rights issue and urging them to vote ‘Do Pass’ on Monday on the GEAR supported language of the original opposed legislation as introduced by Buzz Brockway.
How could a child could be adopted without the birth father’s consent. “ORC 3701.061: A man who has sexual intercourse with a woman is on notice that if a child is born as a result and the man is the putative father, the child may be adopted without his consent pursuant to division (B) of section 3107 of the Revised Code.” That section required the man sign the Putative Father Registry within thirty days after the birth to get notice of the adoption.
The minute you hear the word “adoption” your fatherhood is in danger. Do not wish it away. Do not think maybe she is going through a phase and will come about. Do not doubt that she will go through with it. If she has contacted an adoption agency or is in contact with a potential adoptive family, then you are in some serious trouble and your child is in serious danger of being adopted out.
Often, because I spend much of my time & energy pointing out the negative aspects of adoption, I have been called “anti-adoption”. The very concept of those two words applied together — “anti” and “adoption” — are met with disbelief. But before you are horrified and that title is cast upon my head like a noose, I would like to explain what the words, anti-adoption, mean in my world, You might just find that you agree.
Now I would assume from your note that you are a Christian woman, so helping out a mother in need would come naturally. I am wondering about how you personally feel about the Tenth Commandment? I tend to want to add a bit to it myself about how thou shall not covet thy neighbors ( or friend’s friend’s cousin’s ) baby either. I note in particular where you write: “I instantly fell in love with him.” and “I did not want to let go of him.”
Do you think that perhaps you DID covet this child and would you consider that breaking God’s law?
US Adoption Agencies routinely defraud Medicaid for birthmother medical expenses, then double bill adoptive parents and keep the profits. The cost of adoption is taken on by the American tax payer to the tun of 200 million a year!
Help needing making a running list of the particular bad professionals in adoption; bad adoption agencies, rotten adoption attorneys, pushy adoption facilitators, recruiters, etc
In South Carolina after the relinquishment of parental rights is signed you cannot go back and change your mind or any sort. Twenty-eight (28) states have laws providing a waiting period before relinquishment of parental rights is irrevocable.
It’s bad enough that the adoption industry is still promoting that somehow it is OK to relinquish a baby to adoption and that the long term effects of relinquishment on birthmothers does not exists despite all the scientific research to the quandary. But by putting the impossible task to “healing from relinquishment” on the actual birthmother; they are also setting her up to fail.
I noticed most of the open adoption information is very general. Then I noticed the language that was being used – and it was manipulative. Lastly, I noticed how the information was being presented – and again, it was manipulative.
Even though Paul Fronczak is not really an adoptee, his quest to find out who he really is has been a way to bring that natural need to the forefront on ABC’s 20/20, so let’s talk about Adoptee Rights issues!
Notify the members of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption, especially your own Representatives and Senators who are members of the Coalition, that you are outraged that their “institute” has endorsed this horrendous CHIFF bill.