So while dealing with mothering obligations and major house construction ( did I mention we built WALLS where there were none?), I got word that the piece I had written moths ago, was scheduled for publication in the SUNDAY New York Times!
These stories are not isolated. Various members of the adoption community have created vast clearing houses of these images on the many social media sites form Facebook, to Pinterest, to Tumbler where they are tweeted, shared, and hopefully, maybe, find their way to the one person who could provide clues about their origins. We tirelessly share and promote our fellow Adoptionland members and pray that they find those whom they seek. There are over a hundred images like this with the numbers growing daily.
Adoption Ark and Christian World Adoption have both announced they are closing their doors and filing for bankruptcy in the span of one last week. Even Chuck Johnson, CEO of the National Council for Adoption, said he expected that many more agencies would be closing. Burn, baby, burn!
The justification of adoption relinquishment was out in full force. You would think with all these people caring about her making the “right” choice, there would be more cries of concern questioning these adoption practices that pushed the known boundaries of even the most common adoption industry tactics used to separate mothers and children. How can she be “brave” if we don’t really even know the first thing about this girl? If her earlier, now removed tweets, were any indication upon the thought patterns of her choice, she was obviously immature and acting like this whole pregnancy was about as exciting as a trip to Disneyworld.
The latest batch of pro-adoption propaganda, “What’s Mine is Yours”, by Katherine Nelson and Deanna Harper, has set a “beautiful” song that highlights the pain and suffering of infertility while promoting adoption and glorifying relinquishment. But with this song and the simplification and romanticism made of the relinquishing mother, Katherine Nelson leaves out millions of real mothers who have suffered a real loss of living, breathing children, many now gown adults. And often this trauma was inflicted by the hands who those claim to want others to understand; women who should be able to appreciate the true longing to be mothers. She promotes a false cure, a band aide, in adoption, by glorifying the very need that claimed so many of our children.
I really have to almost get a chuckle out of it when people try to tell me to shut up. Really? You are going to tell ME to STOP? And you think I will listen to YOU? How’s that working out for you? Yes, it IS FUNNY! You did not bother to find out who you are talking to. I take my rabble rousing VERY seriously. Why are you spending all your energy trying to convince me that you got it so good and adoption is so positive and “not like my experience”. Did I mention that I just do not care?
Lead by the Fab LindaLou, warriors of adoption truth took to the page in groves to comment on the many various reason why this form of maternal and infant exploitation was very wrong. To make matters worse, the manager of the Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Toledo Facebook page, repeatedly removed any comments from the Adoption Army that were truthful or criticized their decision to post the image. If it wasn’t a “what a blessing” comment, then the comment was done and deleted; people were getting banned left and right off the page. Perhaps they thought that we would tire, or that they could ban us all?
Get yourself a cup of tea, or coffee, or wine and sit down for a good long read. The Open Adoption Network has the Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2012 version up and ready! Get Reading NOW! You’ll find some old established voices and some new ones, too. Remember to go and give some comment love. TRIGGER WARNING: There are Adoptive Parents Blogs int here, so be prepared. Though I will say that the…
As a country, we need to accept that no matter how much an individual might “want” something, it doesn’t mean it is ethical, moral or right to create people and then transfer their basic ties to their identity. The biggest losers here are the children.
The simple truth is, if the adoption industry had done their job of informing adoptive families of the real risks of adopting an institutionalized, FAS Russian orphan, then the sensational news stories about returned children would never have angered the Russian government. If they had done their job and screened potential adoptive families better, then we might not have read about so many Russian adoptees abused or murdered by their “loving” adoptive parents. If they provided low cost post adoption services to meet the needs to the community they helped create, then underground “adoptee swapping networks” and places like the Ranch for Kids, would not be needed.
To me, it is clear that we need to have our own show. The response to that idea posted to Facebook was met with enthusiasm. I have gone over all the instructions and documentation. I think it will be fairly easy to pull this off or at least to get it started. Essentially, you and I will sit on either end of a webcam/ Ipad and just talk about adoption. Except it will be live on air on Google Plus and also streaming to YouTube! I’m actually really looking forward to being able to actually speak to so many of us! It will be like we are really hanging out talking about adoption in person!
“Baby Hailey” is almost three years old. Since before she was born her Father has been trying to establish his parental rights.. The travesty of California court, which had previously reinstated his paternal rights, is now used to exercise another wanna-be adoptive mothers fantasy under the name of unlawful guardianship application.
Where Is All This Birthmother Cake They Speak of? The mysterious “Birthmother Cake” that birthmothers all expect to feast upon. Somehow, people actually believe that being separated from one’s child is easy and maybe even selfishly pleasurable? Pardon my pun, but do they think that relinquishment is actually a cakewalk?A mother is suppose to give her children away to more deserving parents, dry her tears, buck up and move on. She is suppose to leave the adoptive parents alone and “get over” herself.
Adoption Odds and Ends: Adoption Music, Arts, Films and Events There are ways to finish up National Adoption Awareness Month by supporting and sharing information and links to really great projects the support adoption truth. Here’s some great projects created by adoptees and the people that support them!
Now, it’s considered OK for the potential birthmother to answer an ad, but she cannot place one, because then she is selling her baby. But, in reality she IS selling her child, she’s just not getting a good deal since she is going through the middle man. Yet, as a society we are outraged that a mother might consider getting something monetarily in exchange for her child.