2013

Musings After the Pumpkin Patch…

There will be no memories of perfect pumpkin days with my oldest son. Yes, I am sure his parents are great and he has the proper days in his past, and if I am lucky, maybe someday I will get to see the pictures. ( I have never seen the pictures)


What’s Wrong with Selling Your Baby for an IPhone?

Why does the adoption middle man sanctify the baby trade? What magic fairy dust does an adoption agency or facilitator or lawyer have that makes it morally acceptable? Why is it OK to give a child away, to relinquish your flesh and blood, to place a child, to abandon a child, to make an adoption plan for a child, to give the “gift” of a child, but not just openly sell the privilege to parenting?




Adoption Movie Review: “Approved for Adoption”

It’s not a easy story. It’s not a happy story, but it is not a horrible story either. It is a real story and most of all; it is Jung’s story and it is his truth. While drawn though a child’s eye, he does not cast a child’s feelings on it and gloss over or seem to exaggerates, but rather the same truthful light of recollection is shown on all. He shows the faults and failings of his whole family and himself. It is not a pity party; it is not a movie of blame. The good as well as the bad is reveled. It is a glimpse inside the emotions of moving through.


People Who Should Never Adopt

It’s not an example, not a snarky joke, but a real email exchange. I know, I know.. I should leave well enough alone, but sometimes it is like picking a scab. You know it is gross and it’s gonna hurt, but I. Just. Can’t Stop. Lord help me if this one ever gets his hands on a child. I guess this is what adoption has come to in this country.


Costs of Adoption: Increased Secondary Infertility Rates Infographic

According to multiple studies, women who relinquish a child to adoption are forty to sixty percent more likely to experience secondary infertility that other mothers. Adoption agencies, facilitators, and counselors are not requires to disclose this information to expectant mothers considering adoption – so of course, they don’t. Does that sound like helping people make INFORMED decisions to YOU?


Costs of Adoption: Genetic Mirroring

For those non adopted, it might seem easy to dismiss the importance of genetic mirroring since we do not have to think about it. It is just there. But it’s like saying that the air we breathe is not important because we don’t think about it and its just there. If we were to not have oxygen for even a few minutes, each and every one of us would be screaming to have it restored. Genetic mirroring is like that.


Thank God! Marcie Cheney Told Me What I was Doing Wrong!

I opened my email box this morning to receive this note from Marcie Cheney, whom, until she found it necessary to email me, I had no idea who she was at all.She shared her generous critique of how I am ineffective, a liability, preaching to the choir and damaging. Oh, and the standard implication that I have to learn to deal with my “stages of grief.” I love getting unsolicited advice from unknown people even if it does feel like beating a dead horse.


Embracing Change: A New Musings of the Lame

The entire look of Musings of the Lame has changed. This is not a problem, this is an opportunity- Seize it! This birthmother blog is not MY soapbox anymore, but is a platform for all of AdoptionLand who has been branded by adoption- seared for life by the Scarlett letter.



There are No Contracts in Adoption

Actually the word “contract” is not used in adoption legalese due to the nature of who can sign it. See, minors are not allowed to enter a contract under contract law. And since many times women under the age of 18 are encouraged to relinquish their babies to adoption, an “adoption contract” would just not do. So adoption relinquishment consent form is just that; an: adoption relinquishment consent form.