Adoption Realities; Not “Gentle Care”
“Where is the baby?”
That’s the first question I am asked when I start talking about this sad situation in Ohio. It is followed up with, “Why don’t they just give the baby back?” as the second question. The third is often, “How CAN they DO that?”
To all these questions, I just shake my head and say, ” I don’t know.”
We actually cannot ascertain WHERE Camden is right now. Based on a communication I received on Monday 5-6-14 from the original hopeful adoptive family’s attorney, we believe that they might have bowed out and the agency has placed him elsewhere.
Not in the Pre-Adoptive Home?
So from that we gain this knowledge:
1)They have morals and are now to be left alone; something we shall honor.
2)The agency has NO reason NOT to return Camden now to Carri except that THEY DON”T WANT TO.
3) All agreements about “adoptive family bonding” and their heartbreak are null and void.
4)Any conversations about Camden being “ripped from the only family he has ever known” are also laughable.
5) Adoption by Gentle Care has shown that they do NOT care about the “best interest” of this baby as he is being moved around like a sack of potatoes.
6) And we have no idea where Carri’s baby is at this time.
Of course, they are not telling and that alone is very distressing. Carri doesn’t even know for sure where he is and Mother’s Day is coming up. It’s just a horrible situation all around and we can only hope and pray that AGC is compelled to do the right thing and just admit their mistakes, as Carri has also done, and rescind the relinquishment. It’s really the only humane outcome for this poor little guy and everyone involved. If they did that, they could at least show that they are doing the right thing and not concerned about their bottom line. There is just no need to drag this out and have it go through litigation and waste years of everyone’s lives.
But it looks to be where they are headed.
Not in the “Best Interest” of the Pre-Adoptive Couples They Serve
Legal posturing continues and who knows if anyone is even trying to adopt this child and who they might be. Someone mentioned alerting the FBI on this as I could see the agency NOT informing a prospective adoptive couple of the full implications of the legal risks until it is too late and leading them down a rabbit hole that will cause them to bond with a child who is really NOT free for adoption; continue to claim that the consent was legally obtained, not warn them of the ICWA implications, the unknown actions of the biological father, or the desire of Carri to have her child returned. Unless AGC waits and acts all optimistic and “hopeful” until another couple have bonded and are so thoroughly indebted monetarily to keeping this child that they have no recourse. Unless the agency finds the most desperate, unethical, wishful thinking and seriously loaded pre adoptive couple around, I can’t see anyone willingly wanting to adopt a baby, no matter how precious, who is such a legal risk. I would think it would set up the agency for a later lawsuit based on fraud.
I can just see another couple being lined up to take the fall, but these one’s cannot be warned as we do not know who they are. It’s just so sad all around.
Not in the “Best Interest” of this Baby
The majority of child welfare advocates say separating a child from their biological family should be a last resort as adoption is supposed to be about a child who needs a home, not keeping a child away from an able and loving mother who was ill advised and made a mistake.
How can it be “best” for him to be moved about for maybe the third time since he was born that we know of? Has ANYONE heard of the Primal Wound???
And I am frustrated, now completely, in the manner that this moves along legally. When a newborns life and well being hangs in the balance, and his lifelong issues of trust and security are being compromised, this becomes a game of legal motions, petitions, actions, courts and stays. I swear there should be some kind of judicial rush that comes into play when a child’s life and well being hangs in balance. Yet, case after case, we watch as the games drag on, financials are drained and the child is the one used like a pawn of adults and agencies with their own agenda. Then the courts have the nerve to rule on a child’s best interest when they themselves had a hand in causing the pain and loss that will accompany almost any outcome.
More Attention is Needed; More Growing Support and Eyes Watching
The only good thing I know is that Adopting by Gentle does not seem to like the public attention. They want to work these deceit in private so no one catches on. It seems these agencies have almost gotten too confident, too secure, in what they do. Or so desperate to keep the baby machine moving that they just keep going blindly through what they know has worked in the past.
Please continue calling and sending notices to the media especially in Ohio. While all the major media outlets HAVE had PRs emailed and tweeted to them, there is some resistance because the issue is “sensitive”. Some have tip lines (614-481-6848), call them, send email.. anything!
An updated PR is here: 5-7 PR Gentle Care Unethical Ohio Adoption
My daughters skin is “sensitive”; THIS is an injustice! Beyond running over the rights of mother, ignoring a father, deceiving an adoptive family, possibly hurting another; this is about a baby and his well being IS being compromised.
I just want to say; I know people want to help and keep asking me what they can do. Noise is what is needed. Please keep making noise: share, post to other pages and groups, write blog posts, share images, call papers, media contacts, congressmen, anyone!!
And if you have an idea, don’t even worry about it being “ok”; just do it. I seriously cannot organize and correlate. I can’t ask, assign, or keep track right now, and we are certainly beyond engraved invitations! Just take my blessing and do what you want, do what you can. I give thanks!
This post was originally written and published on May 7th, 2014.
The date has been changed so that the updates and stories can be read more easily in chronology order.