In my last post, Australia’s Adoption Apology, I was informed that comparing Adoption to the Holocaust was not in good taste or to quote: “offensive and overblown. Adoption is bad, and many were hurt. The Holocaust was the murder of 6 million men women and children for no reason other than that they were Jewish, or Gay or handicapped or Gypsies or some Slavs. The two things are just not on the same scale in any way. Such a comparison dishonors the dead.”
**please note** this is not one of those I don’t like your comment so I am going to rip it apart posts. This is a “hmm, this discussion really got me thinking,so I am using your comment” post.
Adoption and the Holocaust: NO
Now for the records I actually wasn’t comparing the atrocities of the Holocaust to the atrocities of adoption.
My previous post which really WAS about the apology recommend by the Australian government and my surprising feelings and reactions to it, not about the Holocaust.
The question I posed was IF something is KNOWN to be HORRIBLE, can we say “It’s different now” and ignore the past because of how we perceive it NOW.
Yes, I used the Holocaust as an example of a horrible thing that happened in the past because it’s pretty much hands down one of the MOST horrible things that has happened in the past and I thought that clearly, all could agree that it was bad. (and for the record.. the death toll of Hitler’s extermination was the murder of 6 million Jews and another estimated 5 to 11 million who feel under the Nazi genocide machine for other reasons) I didn’t use the concentration camp pile of dead body images because I thought THAT would upset people and was too much just for shock value (And the post was not about the Holocaust!)
Adoption and Slavery? NO!
So I asked if we could use slavery as an example ( yes, I am quoting my own comment!)
I could have just as easily gone with any other known and established atrocity: Slavery, rape, murder, 911?
Take your pick..really any situation that BEGAN as an act of violence, wrongness, etc will do. Want to do the slavery one ( though that one manages to piss people off too!)
Is slavery good NOW because President Obama is a African America? Did the Civil Rights movement, Rosa Parks and MLK makes the past horrors of slavery disappear in a poof of smoke? No!
How about if I said “Racism is different now!” all brightly as if that made racism now OK because it’s not the same as the crime of slavery? It’s pretty damn stupid of me to say that isn’t it?
And again, I was told NO…”comparing adoption to slavery, rape, murder, or 9/11 is also offensive. Most people just turn off complaints about the real problems caused by adoption abuse when anyone makes those sorts of extreme comparisons. It does not lead to enlightenment or sympathy for the cause, but to distaste and rejection of adoption reform and those who promote it. It is counterproductive.”
What’s it Not offensive to Compare Adoption to?
Now, before I go one step further with this. Let me just state: I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING about a cause getting so overblown that it turns people off (biting tongue …something about God’s will and contraception and the GOP ..Santorum!Santorum!). I have, however, studied the seemingly crazy looking statements and actions made by various groups such as right to life and baby safe haven because, well.. they often work. Yes, I have trouble going there, but observing and noting their tactics is wise in my opinion. Ah, but that is not what this post is about either.
What I want to know is.. what CAN we compare Adoption to?
And I don’t mean that in a snarky or obnoxious way. I was repainting the living room last weekend and would check the comments between breaks and then think, as I brushed and rolled, Ok so WHAT would work?
What Adoption CANNOT be Compared to
I have my own list of what just will not do.
We cannot compare adoption to giving a “gift” because people are not gifts and that is offensive to adopted people.
Adoption is also not a contract. Contracts can be broken and those who enter the contract have legal recourse, where in adoption those relinquishing often really do not. Also, adoption cannot be a contract because minor consent to adoption of their offspring and contract law will not allow minors to sign contracts. It’s unethical for a minor to enter into a contract.
There are a few other things that I could loosely tie in, but I am saving them for another follow up that came from the Australia comments ( What Offends Me about Adoption.. expect a LONG list!). And then, I can go on an defend why we CAN compare adoption to all the previously horrible situations, but a list of similarities don’t seem like a good use of my time and just an exercise in my awesome research powers.
And to be honest, I painted all day and thought and thought.. and I just could not come up with one thing that really fit. So I ask you..
I keep on thinking of what I now consider “Suz’s Quote”
“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” Voltaire
Maybe it’s just the whole THOUGHT of Adoption that is just absurd, but I still want ONE good thing to compare adoption to that I can use. You know I love analogies. So I ask you, what CAN we compare adoption to? What one other thing is kinda sort like adoption enough that it makes sense to talk about the two things together?