To keep Cloudsome Happy!!!

Jeep Knows Bloodlines Matter

So….
Short list of things to bitch about today:
1) My throat really, really hurts still.
2) Rye calls me at 8 AM this morning..he had gone off to work. The AXEL of that stupid Jeep BROKE. I swear I should have a Blog on the trials of that stupid thing. I hate my husbands Stupid Jeep dot com. Have I mentioned that he belongs to forums where people POST pictures of their stupid Jeeps all covered in mud and on weird angles over gullys and rocks. He stares at them..like they are centerfolds. I sometimes see drool in the corner of his mouth.
The thing is broken more than it is fixed. I HATE IT.
3) It bares repeating: My throat really, really hurts still.
4) Just because I am cranky…I HATE those blinkie freebie happy things. See AAI if you don’t know what I mean.
5) STILL NO RESPONSE to the LETTER!!

On that note thought..I did a little searchy search the other day..and I DID find an Email addy for Max’s amom. I have his dad’s too…but it’s a general work one. At least I have added her to my address book..so I don’t have to be so diligent checking my bulk mail. Of course, now I am getting tempted to send her a quick email…Hey, did you GET the letter??? But I am resisiting.
It also means that I have new paranoia abut checking to see who reads here..since I have a server name for them/her. Not that it really matters..I will not edit myself…

Uggg..I HAVE to get to the bank..before they close. Must put money in …we have checks out!!! So that’s it from me.

Cloudsome..this will have to be good enough for now. Nothing brillant, but it’s real.

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About the Author

admin
Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.

10 Comments on "To keep Cloudsome Happy!!!"

  1. i know the paranoia of who reads you. but like you i am pushing through it. i am confident what i say is the truth, i dont attack, etc. i will not be silenced this time. my feelings matter, my voice should be heard and I will not give into the powers that be again. i paid too dearly for doing that twenty years ago

  2. I don’t understand why you need to hear back from them so badly? You have a positive relationship with your son. If they choose not to have a relationship with you for now, why does that matter so much? They know you and Max are in contact. If they choose not to be involved in it, that’s their choice, and they know where to reach you.

  3. Actually Namcy, I don’t NEED to hear back from them for me…It’s NOT about me.
    It’s about what is better and easier for him. It’s actually alot easier for me, not to deal with them, but how mature is that? Both of us pretending that we don’t exist? Leaving him to be a go between in the middle..I don’t want to be the one to put him in the middle, to make him feel torn, even though I realize that I have in some ways.
    In a perfect world he would have the freedom to be able to explore the relationship with his family of blood without feeling like he has to “hide” contact from his adoptive family becasue they are angry, or they don’t acknowledge it for HIM. And like any mother, I DO want what is best for my child.

    It’s not as though I need to be welcomed or embraced or ..gag..thanked. Though it seems like situations that happen that way are nicer all around. Their approval means little to me at this time, but doing what is the best thing for our child..that says alot about them to me. So in a way, it’s kind of a mental litmus test..not that I am issuing a pass of fail “grade”…but it is hard on my peace of mind…to kno that it is not something open in the house, that he cannot speak about me, that they all ignore my presence like the elephant in the room.

    Did you read the letter…read back the posts here??? The letter pretty much says it all.

  4. (music notes) BLINKIE BLINKIE BLINKIE (music notes) 🙂

    If they respond to your letter than they have to admit that you are real!! that max did not come to them via the magical stork!

    Do you think you might have STREP! Have Rye look in your mouth…if so, then you NEED antib’s..or you could get Scarlet Fever…a girl in my sons class did just that!

    (music notes) BLINKIE BLINKIE BLINKIE (music notes) 🙂

    ps..I just NOW figured out the google spell check! what a wonderful thing!!!

  5. (((Claud)))

    I hope that they get back to you for your son’s sake.

    And, I hope you feel better soon. ((sending healing thoughts))

    And, I hate broken vehicles too. I just had my car worked on this week. Broken boot. Doh!

  6. ((Claud))

    Just sending out some sympathy thoughts. I had strep this winter and it sucked.

    And I also cannot believe Max’s parents haven’t acknowledged the letter yet. Damn.

  7. I’m feeling bad that they have not responded and I’m so sorry your throat still hurts so badly!

    I am like the queen of homeopathic remedies. If you like I can send you some ideas. Email me if you want them.

    Oh, and I can’t remember if I mentioned this so forgive me if I have. I saw the Goya coconut soda in the store and thought I would give it a try since you spoke so highly of it. It is absolutely awesome and now I am addicted. It only sucks that you cant buy it by the case. It’s that good. So THANK YOU!!!

    So the last time I went to the store I thought I would try the others they had, strawberry (it’s so/so) and ginger beer. OMG if there is a hell they are drinking ginger beer there!!!!!!!! It is the foulest stuff that has ever crossed my tastebuds! This is a serious warning: DO NOT TRY THE GINGER BEER!!!!!!! GAK

  8. Oh My Stars Claud! I didn’t mean you have to write just for me! I was just KIDDING sweetie! You really need to get that throat checked out by a Dr. It probably is strep and even if it starts to feel better it can be wreaking havoc on your body and not really going away…

    I’m sorry about the letter not answered yet. Maybe they are working on dealing. Maybe you just have to leave them where they are… but you did what was right and did your best, and Max knows that. (So do they)

  9. But I am so touched that you want to make me happy! 🙂

  10. Oh you said ON MY STARS…
    I say that.
    Cracks me up

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