• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

The Next Stage for Adoption Truth Conversations

Taking Adoption Live OnAir

It’s a known fact that I love using internet technology to further our efforts in the adoption community. As the tools of the internet continue to grow, it is important that as a community, we continue, as we always have, to expand our reach and provide voices of adoption truth. My recent experiences on HuffPo LIVE, as well as a ongoing conversation / brainstorm with Suz, have got me thinking about a new project. I think it really needs to happen, but I need your help!

HuffPo and Google Hangouts

HuffPo uses Google hangouts to broadcast their LIVE interviews.  While they are continuing to do adoption related discussion and have invited strong voices from our community, the round table format and the adoption innocence of the hosts have left me with the desire for something more.

In the end, while the attention produced by being a AOL/HuffPo distribution is good, the depth of the conversations are, well, lacking.  And the treatment of commentary afterwards makes us all seem like a freak show in some way.  It’s almost a  case where we are too almost vulnerable.  I dislike the lack of control. I still feel guilty and somewhat responsible for bringing Kim there and then the massive explosion of nastiness that ensured in the comments.

To me, it is clear that we need to have our own show. The response to that idea posted to Facebook was met with enthusiasm. I have gone over all the instructions and documentation for the Google Plus Hangouts OnAir. I think it will be fairly easy to pull this off or at least to get it started. It really is a very cool concept.

We have a link that I invite you to for our webcams that we both log into. When we are ready, we go live “OnAir”. We talk about adoption stuff. Then we go “offline” in about 15 minutes. The “show” airs on Google Plus and also streams to YouTube. A taped version stays on YouTube that can be later edited and then the edited versions automatically update to Google too. It’s like use a mouse easy. Or at least looks like it!

So here’s the plan to date:

Introducing Adoption Musings- Where the Real Conversations About Adoption Happen

Rather than have a bunch of guests and a bit more chaos, I would like to do one on one conversations.  It should be easier to organize and manage since I am pulling this off on a wing and a prayer!  Essentially, you and I will sit on either end of a webcam/ Ipad and just talk about adoption.  I’m actually really looking forward to being able to actually speak to so many of us! It will be like we are really hanging out talking about adoption in person!

While I am “branding” the idea as “Adoption Musings” for continuity sake, I don’t want this to be about me; I want it to be platform where ALL or voices can be heard. For that reason, I say.. who wants in!  I am not restricting it to “known voices” or “experts” in adoption or whatever. I’m thinking if we keep it simple, then once a week would not be too crazy. There are enough of us!

There are a few MUSTs in order to participate:

  • You must have Google Plus Account. If you sign into Google for anything, adding Google Plus (their version of Facebook, but hardly anyone uses it) is super simple. Make sure you add a nice profile picture!
  • You must have a device that can capture you via audio video. This could be a computer with a web cam or an iPhone or iPad. A head set microphone is needed as well for a webcam for better sound quality.
  • Depending on your device used, you will need to install the Google Hangout Application which is free.
  • You must be willing to have your name, voice, and face broadcast and placed on YouTube. You could feasibly use a different name or even put yourself in the dark if you wished. That is entirely up to you. Internet “identities” are fine, but know that it could be connected to your Google Plus Account, so keep your accounts straight.  This will be on the internet with the first version LIVE an uncut, so if you have reunion/public concerns, you may want to opt out.
  • A “show” would be about 15 minutes long and then a break in taping to meet YouTube standards. We can go on and do another “taping” of a continued conversation if needed. I know I can go on and on about adoption issues.  Most people won’t watch for too long on live versions, but the recorded videos can be later edited and then embedded in other places online.

I have NOT decided on a time frame yet, but I would LOVE to launch sooner rather than later. I think realistically, after the first of the year.  I would like the time frame to be somewhat “scheduled” meaning every Wednesday afternoon, or Tuesday evenings, or Sunday mornings, but I am really flexible. So I open that up to you. I know that even for online “shows’ consistency is important. If I have to have a varied schedule, then we can, but I guess then I will need some kind of calendar or something telling people when we are live. That can be done too.

If are interested in joining me to make this happen please fill out this survey here. Please feel free to tell me whatever you feel is helpful. I left a bunch of open text fields for that. What I will do if take that information and turn it into a list of times, topics etc and we can go from there!

As always, please feel free to share about to interested adoption related lists, groups, etc.

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Claudia Corrigan DArcy

About Claudia Corrigan DArcy

Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.
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7 Responses to The Next Stage for Adoption Truth Conversations

  1. Roni says:

    Is there a link to download the app? Cant seem to find it.

  2. claudette garman says:

    I am very excited to see your project! I filled out the survey and am going to check to if I have the google accts set up! If no, I will do so asap!! I’m so in and I hope that you consider my suggestions:). Thank you! Claudette

  3. Margie says:

    Claudia, is this happening? Are the hangouts open for adoptive parents to listen to?

    • adminadmin says:

      It’s on my “omg you got o get this going already list” …which is part of my “things to do list” ….which is HUGE. So…not yet! :)

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