Questions about Adoption

Choices, even adoption, based on fear, are bad choices

Adoption Questions and Facts, Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment, The Adoption Industry October 30, 2012

Can We Understand why Mothers Relinquish Babies to Adoption?

It is only after the true depth of the loss can be accepted that we see that we made a great error in judgment. There is value in the connection between mother and child that cannot be replaced by monetary things and perceived life successes. There is value in being with our own clans and the biological connections that make us who were are. There is great pain and loss in adoption for both the original family and the adoptee no matter how beneficial their placement is. The adoption industry is just that: an industry and it is often corrupt and money driven.

Family Reunions or difficult times ahead? Maybe both.

Adoption Questions and Facts, Reunions & Support October 3, 2012

An Adoptee Asks Reunion Question

I can tell you that many moms are just so worried about saying the wrong things that we are still afraid to open up and be real… the internal censor is on big time because we do not know what to do and are SO afraid of being sent away emotionally. Maybe this isn’t the case with her since you say she really reacts intensely, but that openness and honestly is a hard place to get to. I think it hard to trust the new relationship as permanent and get to that place.

Can you have a good life with a baby?

Before Making an Adoption Plan February 24, 2012

Somebodies Mother

I’m 18 and have no diploma or GED. I plan on going to college and doing something with myself, but as of right now I live with someone else. I feel very sad thinking about this baby and about how my relationship and life is going to change and I’m curious about whether this is hormones or not. I feel HORRIBLE for the way I feel. Do you think I can have a baby now, keep her and still have a happy life and relationships?

Ethcial adoption agencies are hard to find

Adoption Truth, Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment, The Adoption Industry January 27, 2012

Is Your Adoption Agency Ethical?

Adoption is particularly hard because it is never something we really learn about before we find it in our lives. I know I never dreamed that one day I would grow up, have a baby, give him to other parents to raise and not see him for 19 years. I believe that is true for many adoptive parents as well. Maybe you always felt that you would eventually adopt a child, maybe you were always intrigued, maybe you thought about it long and hard, or maybe suddenly, you just felt that you were thrust into it, maybe you entered it blindly; I don’t know, but I bet, looking back now, you would say that you had no idea what the experience of adoption a child would really be like. That you think now there was no way to have planned for it all. You could not have known

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial January 23, 2012

Why Adoption Kool-Aid Tastes so Good!

A Look at Birthmothers, Decision Making, and Denial It was close to 10 years ago, if not more the first time I was called out on being a birthmother in denial. Max was only 13 and years away from being found and I was new to the adoption community online. I was still saying things like “Adoption was the hardest decision, but the best choice for my baby I could…

Adoption breaks Christmas traditions

Birthmother Holidays & Adoptee Birthdays December 20, 2011

Adoption: Broken Ornaments

Somewhere, in another state, another tree that I will never see, holds pieces of my family’s heritage. I imagine that nursery schools in Massachusetts also help young student create gifts for parents out of glitter and handprints, popsicles sticks and finger paints. I can only imagine the proud joy of my 4 year old son placing his tissue wrapped creation under the tree. It might have said “mom” on the tag, but it was never meant for me.

My mistake allows my son to be discriminated against as an adopted person in the state of Massachusetts

Birthmother Holidays & Adoptee Birthdays, Relinquishment November 18, 2011

When a Signature Changes Your Life: Relinquishment

I’m in the midst of it all: Adoption Trauma week or better known the Season of Max. So here it is; it’s November. The week from hell. Trying to remain “normal”, but feeling so very tightly strung up as if I could break or snap at any moment. Tired, impatient, restless, annoyed, teary, over excited, sad. Friday: Finish another long week, and promptly get into a stupid agreement with Rye…

Adoption Truth, Cultural Views on Adoption March 23, 2010

Are Adoptees Different?

The Us Census Ask us to Differentiate Last week, I received a very nice message inviting me to read a blog post over on Salon on the Census and Adoption, and so, I did. Then, I saw that Jenna had written another blog post herself on the same subject which was the Census and Adoption. And I read that too. Both of the posts, while one written by an adoptive mother…

Cultural Views on Adoption February 26, 2010

Adoption Carnival: Racism

I don’t really have much right to talk about Racism and Adoption That’s just the plain honest truth. Give me discrimination. Give me injustice. Give me prejudice, but I’m pretty much at a loss when it come to writing about Racism. What do I know? I mean What DO I Know About Real Racism/ White chick, grew up in a white town, went to a pure bred white school. There…

AHlf a billion in non profit for adoption agencies

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Cultural Views on Adoption, The Adoption Industry July 7, 2009

I Placed My Baby for Adoption: Now PAY Me!

Honestly, really. I think I should get paid off for relinquishing Max to adoption. The happy fuzzy feelings from relinquishment and my adoption counseling has worn off. It’s been gone for years now. Instead, I think maybe getting at least some cash for the years of pain and suffering won’t do any good in getting back what I lost, but nothing ever will. At least, I could get some new…

Adoption Truth May 28, 2009

Open letter to President Obama

My Dear President, First, I must thank you. For the first time in long 8 years, I can admit that I do again have a president. I like that I can feel proud to be an American again. We have been waiting for you. Now I know you have too many things on your plate right now and in the scheme of things, what I ask from you probably will…

Fight Resist Rebel for good

Adoption Truth, Relinquishment September 7, 2007

How Many Mothers Must Suffer Before We Care About Adoption Loss in the USA?

Motive for death of US troops…democracy?? NO..Oil money.
Motive for the needless separation of mothers and children..save the children? No..profit from the transfer of parental rights.
Media coverage for both outrage? The war wins…though barely. Who wants to hear that depressing bit anyway? Not when we can read about Hollywood starlets behaving badly..much more amusing.

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Cultural Views on Adoption, Relinquishment March 17, 2007

The Promises of Adoption? They Were Wrong

The fact is..there are ENOUGH moms who relinquished who are saying…hey, it didn’t work like that. And enough adoptees say the same thing. Human nature is different than the plan and the beliefs. They were built on faulty principles Not your fault, not mine..lets blame the adoption industry. They have known for some time, they have had the information at hand, and still they kept throwing this pipe dream at us all and selling us all down a river.