Claud’s UberExciting Life

7000 Words for the Last 6 Months

In my zeal to help, in my desire to carry the load and rid others, I managed to lose myself. I needed to physically separate myself from all of you so that I could being to understand how *I* felt about adoption and how it was actually affecting my life. I think I literally had no idea what my own emotions were anymore because I was all entwined with everyone else. The anger was most notable absent, but what else was there? This kept me busy for weeks, months. See what I mean about a massive identity crisis?


So this is a follow up for those who attended my SEO workshop at the American Adoption Congress Conference:
“While the internet has been an amazing tool to bring the adoption community together, there are basic best practices to utilized to really amplify our voices and reach a wider audience. Whether blogging, sharing or tweeting, knowing what Google wants and how to use SEO can benefit us all.”

An Adoption Reunion Update

I felt 100 time “lighter” immediately. I actually DO feel likeit’s over. We have managed to break through the hold and restrictions that adoption has tried to put on our mother son relationship and it can’t do any more damage, Adoption, as a real threat to me and my son, is done. It’s over. It cannot hurt us anymore. The adoption industry might have tried and maybe it’s not the way I wish it had been, but that just doesn’t matter anymore because we are OK. Our connection is still there and we value it and it works.

Dance the Ghost with Me

Going back to Boston feels like going back to time. I feel like all these parts of me are swirling together but it feels good. It feels, I think, like it is supposed to. I look around my office, my house, my window, my street. I think of my home, my family, my husband, my children, my friends, my neighbors, my colleagues. I am just so beyond grateful for being here now.
Is it weird to dance and cry your face off because you are just relieved that you are actually happy?

Once I Was a Troll

I was reminded of an old mistake today. Granted, it was not a gentle reminder, but a let me shove this in your face because look you SCREWED up taunt, but I had completely forgotten about it, so it was a reminder for me. And yes, I had screwed up. And thankfully, I learned a very valuable lesson on internet transparency, trust, integrity and owning up to mistakes.

The End of Procrastination: Telling the Birthfather He has a Son

Yes, right now that is all this meeting is to him, but to me, oh so much more. I have had this conversation with him, in my head, hundreds of times. This almost feels like deja vu as I have planned it so much, thought it out, played his responses, planned my perfect wording. No, much more than just old friends we are. I had his baby and gave him away to adoption.

Nice floor…

I followed the Fed Ex truck down the street yesterday, feeling all excited as I knew my red tiles were in it!!! And so, to beat my own procrastination, I did it. It was a bear, but it is done. Today I finished scraping the glue off and gave it the polish coat… The kitchen table and chairs are back. As is the dog food, much to Lilly’s delight. Would…


Can’t say that I keep secrects; Here’s the story of how I was arrested for grand larceny! Never mind that Williams Lumber made 13K off that would not be in their pocket at all if I had not worked 70 plus hours a week for almost 3 months without any other compensation by them. They fired me, had me arrested and black balled my name.

Some Random Babble about Mundane Things and my Son in a Pink Dress

So Scarlett’s birthday is tomorrow. I went out today..nothing like the last minute momma, and bought her a bicycle. I hadn’t really intended to buy her a bike, but it turns out it is a good thing. I was thinking a new play kitchen as we ditched the defunct Barbie kitchen to the front porch where maybe some Sunday someone besides me might actually bring ot out to the curb,…

Mother of Loss meets Loss of Mother

She cleaned a mean house and laundry got done on schedule. And oh, could that woman shop!!! Shopping with my mother was a religious experience. Macy’s with my Mom on their “One Day Sales”…we would run to the register laden with bargains. The cashier’s worst nightmare.

A Very Weird Underwater Earthworm

Ok, so we have this fishtank that my mother in law got for my youngest when he turned two. We couldn’t keep a fish alive in there for anything. We must have spent a huge sum of money on buying fish, and then gave up. And it sat empty. So at one point this summer, we went fishing with the kids and bought minnows. We didn’t end up using them…

Lighter Fare or How to NOT Piss Off a Food Server

And while I am at tea drinkers. We just hate you. All of us. Every waiter and waitress all over. Tea sucks. The NY Times said it. They did a survey. Tea is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I have to put the loose tea in the tea bag, temper your pot, heat your cup, guess if you want honey or lemon or milk or sugar…

Silly Meme Stuff

I just realized that I have been “tagged” so here goes: What were you doing 10 years ago? I was still living in my cute little apartment in the middle of the boonies and being a single mommy to one, though I had started working for he interior design firm and was phasing out the restaurant world. I was in legal limbo waiting out both my divorce from P, and…