• A Must Read List for Adoption Truths

    • In many states across the USA including New York, Adoptee Rights bills are introduced to state legislators year after year. Due to lack of public support and misinformation based outdated beliefs about the adoption process, year after year, this bills fail to become laws.

    • I am a product of this experiment. I was born on December 24th, 1988 and I was soon transferred from one mother to another because my first mother, known throughout my life as my birth mother, wasn’t married to my birth father. She was 16 years old and still in high school.

    • I was 14 when I learned I was pregnant and my life changed forever. Once I’d gotten that fateful news, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby; I wondered if I’d be able to finish school, would I be able to give my baby the life she deserved?

    • So How Do We Fix Adoption in the USA? Domestic Voluntary Infant Adoption is what we are discussing here. Women facing and unplanned pregnancy and “choose” adoption rather than parenting. If you aren’t aware of adoption facts, then you might not be aware of the need for reform.

    • There are some facts about adoption that, really, you cannot dispute unless you are just trying to purposely to stay ignorant regarding the facts of infant adoption in this country. Adoption is, in its perfect form, suppose to be about finding homes for children that need them, not about finding children for parents that want them.

    • What Happens to the Numbers of Adoptable Infants in the USA if We Compare to Australia? IF the USA had similar adoption practices to Australia and supported mothers, in the US we would have only 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or take.

    • The relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just as it is suppose to.The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today.

    • Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble.

    • When I relinquished Max, it was suppose to be something that affected ME. Like so many things in adoption, the professionals were wrong. The “gift of adoption” just keep on giving and giving.. the pain has a huge ripple effect that touches every aspect of a woman’s lives including ALL our children.

    • Secondary adoptee rejection is a very real reality in adoption reunions. We all have a different skill set and experiences to handle a reunion.There are many mothers who were simply told to “never speak of this again” and that has proven to be a real unhealthy bit of advice.

    • The simple fact is that it is less than 1% of all relinquishing mothers desire to never set eyes on their children again. So because these 1% mothers another 6 to 8 million people and their children and their children’s children get denied medical histories, get denied their identity, get denied their truth..

    • Most adoption agencies will offer free “birthmother” counseling as part of their adoption services. A true counselor is supposed to advocate for their client, not the organization for which they work. Often adoption counseling is “in agency” and therefore, not really nonpartisan. There is no guarantee that the “counselor” is neutral and actually has the expectant mothers’ best interests at heart.

    • I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more appealing to adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.

RIARG: RI Adoptees Resource Group Monthly Meetings

Rhode Island Adoptee Support

WHO:  RIARG RI Adoptees Resource Group

WHEN:  3rd Thursday of  every month (email for the time)

WHERE:  5 New London Avenue  Cranston, RI (locations change, please confirm)

WEBSITE: RI Adoptees Resource Group 


BONUS: John Greene runs this Adoptee Support Group!!

An Adoption Support Group That Changed Laws

On July 2, 2012, Rhode Island Adoptees, age 25 years and older, were finally able to obtain their original birth certificates! At least, 700 RI Adoptees have requested their OBC in Rhode Island since the Adoptee Rights Access laws were changed. In addition, with the success of this bill, legislators have also agreed to look at the law and reduce the age limit to 18, which would make Rhode Island the 7th state in the US to stop denying adult adoptees access to their original identities! Hats off to The amazing John Greene and RIARG for making this happen!

Get Your OBS and Support for Rhode Island Adoption Searches and Reunions!

The Rhode Island Adoptee Resource Group (RIARG) is a group of local adoptees who are encountering the same journey as the 700 adoptees who obtained their OBC, together. Many adoptees assume that obtaining the OBC is an end, an end for a lifetime of curiosities and assumptions.  But most adoption reunions are a journey made without a road-map.

Since you will never find a “How to” section in any medical or psychology book on how an adoptee should feel.   RIARG is a family-like group of local adoptees supporting each other in a variety of ways, in the capacity that we are a bunch of brothers and sisters looking out for each other and offering guidance and insights as we experience all this for the very first time. We meet at least once a month at places like Panera Bread in the Warwick/Cranston area and chat over coffee and a bite to eat.

For Rhode Island adoptees, RIARG is a must.

An Invite From John Greene

From one adoptee to another, I invite you to be a part of RIARG. I can’t guarantee we’ll have all the answers or know what’s going to happen next with your experience, but i can say that being with a group of people in the same boat makes sailing a heck of a lot easier than going about it by yourself.


Please fill out the online adoptee questionnaire so they know best what kind of support you need and how they can best help you.

Directions: https://maps.google.com/maps?saddr=Providence%2C+RI&daddr=+5+New+London+Avenue++Cranston%2C+RI

Email for more information: riadopteeresourcegroup@gmail.com

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About admin

Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.
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