Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

Adoption affects lives just like the ripples in a pond from a stone thrown affects the shores

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons January 24, 2006

The Long Term Ripples in Adoption

Sometimes, it comes with the birth of a second child that makes us realize what motherhood means, what was truly lost, what is gone forever.
Sometimes, it just comes with maturity. We become less self absorbed and see what we decided does not just effect us, does not just “build a family” that makes us feel good, but that the loss continues to grow and effect others in our lives in ways we could not see.
I tell the pregnant and considering adoption to look beyond the immediate. Not just at NOW, but at later.

Rants and Raves January 22, 2006

A Very Weird Underwater Earthworm

Ok, so we have this fishtank that my mother in law got for my youngest when he turned two. We couldn’t keep a fish alive in there for anything. We must have spent a huge sum of money on buying fish, and then gave up. And it sat empty. So at one point this summer, we went fishing with the kids and bought minnows. We didn’t end up using them…

Adoption News, Cultural Views on Adoption January 19, 2006

Adoption: an American Revolution

Will you document the Mothers who were lied to and forced to lose the children they so desperately wanted, or will you only show the few happy reunions of such broken women? Will you discuss the issues and problems of current adoption practices that do not really honor the bond between mother and child and how to make things better, or will you just show the smiling faces of the “happy good birthmother” and promote more adoptions for a 13 billion dollar industry?

A Birthmothers Life January 18, 2006

Lighter Fare or How to NOT Piss Off a Food Server

And while I am at it..you tea drinkers. We just hate you. All of us. Every waiter and waitress all over. Tea sucks. The NY Times said it. They did a survey. Tea is the biggest pain in the ass ever. I have to put the loose tea in the tea bag, temper your pot, heat your cup, guess if you want honey or lemon or milk or sugar…

Adoptionland- we have each other

A Birthmothers Life, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons January 14, 2006

My Friend Merridee

It’s her son’s birthday this week. That haunting look just flickered quickly though her eyes when she told me. No one could have noticed the quiver in her voice. I saw it. I know what a birthday means.
“When do you usually crash?” I asked her.
“I’ll get hit on Wednesday” she replied.

Birth Control fails

A Birthmothers Life January 12, 2006

Hyper Fertility: I Didn’t Ask for This

Sometimes things are just not controllable Birth control is not infallible. Some infertility is not fixable. Hyper fertility is not always fixable either. I do my best to control it, but all I need is one sperm. You know, they are really, really little. Kinda hard to find and catch sometimes. Slippery little buggers with only one thing on their mind. In over 20 years, I missed 8. I have a normal sex life…how many of those guys have I seen a week, a year, in the past twenty years? Eight out of 200 million kabillion is NOT a bad ratio.

truth about the adoption industry profits

The Adoption Industry January 9, 2006

Origins Press Release re:Adoption Recruiter

If you think that infant adoption is a benevolent social service, then reading the highlights of a job description appearing in the Wall Street Journal’s Executive Career Site online for an “Adoption Recruiter” might change your mind. Originally posted by the Boys and Girls Aid Society of Oregon, this detailed job description reveals the aggressive marketing strategies used by adoption agencies and proves that babies are marketable products used to generate agency revenue

A Birthmothers Life, Birthmother Holidays & Adoptee Birthdays, Reunions & Support January 8, 2006

The Adoption Reunion with My Son; Making it Current

Since he would be 18, he could open up his records..if he desired. And if he did that, then he could “find” me and we could be “official” and then completely manage to avoid telling his folks that this has now been happening already for almost 7 months. Really, at this point all I wanted to do was avoid getting them upset and get him out form the burden of secrets.

A Birthmothers Life January 8, 2006

Silly Meme Stuff

I just realized that I have been “tagged” so here goes: What were you doing 10 years ago? I was still living in my cute little apartment in the middle of the boonies and being a single mommy to one, though I had started working for he interior design firm and was phasing out the restaurant world. I was in legal limbo waiting out both my divorce from P, and…

A Birthmothers Life, Reunions & Support, Searches January 6, 2006

More on Max; Letters from my Adopted Son

If I had not searched for my adopted child, then it would have been not an issue. But I am not a saint. I am not a completely unselfish person. I do have my weak moments..or strong..depending on your viewpoint and perspective. And no matter what..I am a mother.

And I just ask you all this..to try to imagine for a second what it is like to know your child is out there somewhere..and you have longed for so long..and you find out that there is a way to reach out and touch team again. All I can say was there was NO WAY I could have not done it.

For myself, I believe for him, for my other children…one click. I am not that saintly of a human.

Adoption events; confernces, support groups, deomstrations, openings, film education

Adoption Events January 6, 2006

Important and very exciting!!

I added this to my permentant links, but wanted to make a notice of it too. Adoption Crossroads and Origins USA are holding a huge adtin related conference in NYC on September 15-16, 2006 What I think is REALLY excting is the list of speakers: Ann Fessler, Artist, creator of “Everlasting” Karen Wilson Buterbaugh, Author of “Adoption Healing… a path to recovery” (for mothers) Betty Jean Lifton, PhD, Author of…