Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

When Do My Children Talk to Me?

By Lori Holden When do my teenagers start deep conversations with me? Conversations about their hopes and dreams, possible love interests, and behind-the-scenes social goings on I’m not often privy to?Let’s look at the possibilities.Is it over breakfast when we lovingly prepare to send each other out into our days?Nope. In the mornings we are fighting over hot … Continue reading When Do My Children Talk to Me? → The…


#flipthescript 15: No Easy Button in Adoption

By Lori Holden Tracy Hammond is a baby scoop era adoptee and adoptee rights activist. This is her second post here in this #flipthescript series (the first: Why Are Adoptees Doing It?), in which adopted people take over the microphone in this space for November’s National Adoption Awareness Month.You may not agree with everything that is said in these … Continue reading #flipthescript 15: No Easy Button in Adoption →…


#flipthescript 14: Adoption & Eating Disorders

By Lori Holden Jodi Haywood returns for the third November in a row (2014 post | 2015 post) to participate in the #flipthscript movement, in which adopted people take over the microphone in this space for November’s National Adoption Awareness Month.You may not agree with everything that is said in these #flipthescript posts. You may even find parts … Continue reading #flipthescript 14: Adoption & Eating Disorders → The post…


#flipthescript 13: Healing & Hope for an Adoptee

By Lori Holden The subtitle of Anne Bauer’s memoir is An Adoptee’s Quest for her Origins because one of the main reasons she wrote The Sound of Hope was to “get people to realize how damaging it is to make adoptees feel guilty when they want to know about their origins.”Three years ago, we wrapped up her book … Continue reading #flipthescript 13: Healing & Hope for an Adoptee →…


Heart to Heart Adoptions; Andy and Melissa Moore; The Taking of Ja’Meka

By AstridBeeMom Johnny with his daughter, Ja’Meka, at the hosptial, when she was born. Johnny is a father to a beautiful little girl named Ja’Meka that was born on October 18, 2016 in Georgia. Ja’Meka’s mom, while heavily medicated (having had a tubal ligation the previous day) and under duress, on October 19, 2016 was driven to two attorney’s offices by Bonnie Lin Hilton of Heart to Heart Adoptions based…


When I Lived in Aleppo

By Lori Holden Early in our marriage, my husband and I liquidated or stored most of our meager belongings, hopped a plane, and landed in one of the beigest places we’d ever seen. We set out on our first adventure together — teaching at an international school in Aleppo, Syria (known regionally as Halab).I want to share with … Continue reading When I Lived in Aleppo → The post When…


#flipthescript 12: A 1970s Adoption Story

By Lori Holden A friend from high school reached out to tell me that her biological mother had died. She told me that the whole thing had been a nightmare and that I should write about it. Here is Cheryl’s story, part of November’s #flipthescript series in which adoptees take over the microphone.Image: Tracy HammondHow I Got Informally AdoptedCheryl: … Continue reading #flipthescript 12: A 1970s Adoption Story → The…


#flipthescript 11: Abuse to Adoption to Addiction to Affirmation

By Lori Holden Only recently did Michael Schwerman realize that being adopted at age 12 by a step father was not nothing — as he’d always thought — nor was the difficult relationship he’s had with his mother. He’s figuring out that instead, the circumstances around his adoption and rejection shaped his life and affected his future. Adopted … Continue reading #flipthescript 11: Abuse to Adoption to Addiction to Affirmation…


(Birth) Moms ~ Search for Your (adult) Child!

By Susie from: Wild Women Sisterhood FULL MOON PRAYER by Rumi What in your life is Calling you, When all the noise is silenced, The meetings adjourned.. The lists laid aside, And the Wild Iris blooms By itself In the dark forest… What still pulls on your Soul? Are you a mother who lost a child to adoption? Does your (now adult) child call out to your soul? Are you…


I Got Jackassed. TWICE.

By Lori Holden The parking lot was not full when I drove up. I slid into one of many available spots, grabbed my mat and headed in to a yoga class. I got some exercise, met my physical and mental edge, practiced staying present, and closed with a moment of stillness.That last step was important.Because when I came … Continue reading I Got Jackassed. TWICE. → The post I Got…


#flipthescript 10: I Guessed My Birth Mother’s First Name

By Lori Holden Lenore Paletta found out she was born Giuseppina Morellato in Italy. With aching candor, she shares a portion of her search for her identity.The #flipthescript series gives adoptees the microphone during November, National Adoption Awareness Month.Image: Tracy HammondWhen I Think of SearchingI guessed my birth mother’s first name. Yes, I really did. I was sitting … Continue reading #flipthescript 10: I Guessed My Birth Mother’s First Name…


#flipthescript 9: The Healing Power of Open Adoption

By Lori Holden Paula Fahey was born, relinquished, and adopted during the closed adoption era. She experienced the happy/sad of adoption — she loved her parents yet she wondered about her birth parents. She’s now also on the birth family side of an open adoption and weighs in on the element of openness.The #flipthescript series gives adoptees the … Continue reading #flipthescript 9: The Healing Power of Open Adoption →…


Stillness in Contentiousness

By Lori Holden I’m craving stillness as we in the United States near the end of this particularly contentious election season. Stillness takes us from the frenetic edge of the spinning sphere to the still center, to our core.Stillness is how we bring unity from duality. And I don’t know about you, but boy, have I been feeling duality, … Continue reading Stillness in Contentiousness → The post Stillness in…


#flipthescript 8: Adoptees Are In Reunion Whether They’re Searching or Not

By Lori Holden Lesli Johnson, author of the helpful and repeatedly viral post, 10 Things Adoptess WantYou to Know, is flipping the script today. Adopted people are taking over the microphone in this space during November for National Adoption Awareness Month.Image: Tracy HammondWhat Adoptees DoDuring a recent presentation at an adoption conference, I had attendees participate in a … Continue reading #flipthescript 8: Adoptees Are In Reunion Whether They’re Searching…


#flipthescript 7: Hold On

By Lori Holden Anne Heffron, author of the newly-released must-read memoir You Don’t Look Adopted, kicks of this year’s #flipthescript series, in which adoptees take over the microphone.Image: Tracy HammondSo Why Was I Crying?I am going to visit some of my birth father’s family for the first time next week and my family is letting me go. No … Continue reading #flipthescript 7: Hold On → The post #flipthescript 7:…