Matt and Melanie Capobianco: Lower-Than-The-Lowest Excuse for Human Beings

How to buy a baby and public opinion!

How to buy a baby and public opinion!

They Take His Child, Want to Throw Him in Jail and Now Bankrupt Dusten Brown Too?

I’ll just start out by saying if you are easily offended or have delicate sensibilities, then you might not want to keep reading. If you do choose to keep reading, you have indeed made a choice to do so and I am no longer responsible for any charges incurred by said reading. (Yeah, that’s kind of a joke. Funny, huh?)

Yes, see that’s the point. No one is making you read this. You, presumably a grown responsible adult, have made the informed decision to keep reading this blog. You might like what you read or you might not; but no matter what the outcome of our reading, you have made a choice. And even if you decide, at the end of your time reading here that you have indeed wasted your time and you will not get those 3 to 7 minutes of your life back again,  you cannot hold me responsible for it. You decided to keep reading.

What  Matt and Melanie Capobianco Chose to do

You know, like how Matt and Melanie Capobianco CHOSE to keep fighting for the adoption of Veronica Rose Brown to go through after Dusten Brown immediately revoked his  unethically-begotten “consent” back in January of 2010 when Veronica was four months old.

You know, like how Matt and Melanie Capobianco CHOSE to try to adopt privately a child whom they knew had Cherokee blood and whose father was a registered tribe member, therefore making the ICWA applicable, which could (as it did) complicate said adoption.

You know, like how Matt and Melanie Capobianco CHOSE to appeal the South Carolina Family Court ruling and bring the matter of “Adoptive Couple vs Baby Girl” to the SC Supreme Court when the SC Family Court found that ICWA did apply and even if it didn’t, Dusten Brown was a thwarted father whose relinquishment consent was not gotten legally as the adoption agencies and birthmother conspired against him.

You know, like how Matt and Melanie Capobianco CHOSE to appeal the South Carolina Supreme Court ruling that upheld the South Carolina Family Court  findings that gave custody to Dusten Brown. Like how they CHOSE to assemble the legal team  (and PR team and arranged talk show appearances) to bring “Adoptive Couple vs Baby Girl” to the United States Supreme Court, which did happen as Justice Roberts, who seemingly has connections to the case, made sure that SCOTUS heard it and, surprise! sided with the unethical adoptive parents (as he is also allegedly an unethical adoptive parent.)

You know, like how Matt and Melanie Capobianco CHOSE to continue fighting for Veronica Rose even after she was obviously fine and cared for and happy in the care of her natural father and didn’t need to be adopted

You know, like how Matt and Melanie Capobianco CHOSE to leave South Carolina and go halfway across the country for over 6 weeks, even when it was clear that the Oklahoma and Cherokee Courts were not giving in any time soon and maybe, just maybe, they should stay at home?

To paraphrase what has been said to me, as a birth mother, oh, so very many times; “No one held a gun to their head.” They had CHOICES!

Matt and Melanie Capobianco CHOSE to keep pursuing that adoption since the time that Veronica was four freaking months old. At THAT very point in January of 2010, they could have taken their money, what they had left of their sanity, and marched their dried up old white infertile asses back to Nightline Christian Adoption agency and Raymond Godwin and found a way to buy another baby. But. That. Is. Not. What. They. Chose. To . Do.

They CHOSE to keep going. THEY CHOSE to keep fighting. THEY CHOSE to keep incurring expenses.

And now they are suing Dusten Brown for the expenses and legal fees they CHOSE to incur??

I’m sorry, but WHO THE FUCK DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE?

Yes, we’ll keep on playing musical courts until we get one that will do what we want. Did you know that you can buy out the Supreme Court of the United States of America? Yes! Justice Roberts doesn’t come cheap but he will do all sorts of nasty things for blond haired Irish kids! Shush, don’t say nothing or we’ll get Dr Phil on your ass too! Once you get Dr. Phil on your side, then all the really stupid who don’t read will believe anything you say! And you get to go in the Today Show, too! Wheeee!

That was fun, right, Matt?

Right, Melanie! Now take your pills!

Ok Matt, but tell them my favorite part!

Sure! So we’ll keep on keeping on after your kid because WE WANT HER!! And then, after telling everyone in the whole world all sorts of lies and shit about you, we’ll take pretend that we want to be nice  to you and share… but that’s bullshit!

Oh yeah! That’s bullshit. We won’t share with you at all!  We’ll keep on saying.. Okay, maybe… but then we’ll come right back and say NO! CHANGED OUR MINDS!!

‘Cuz we wants finder-keepers-losers-weepers rules!

Yeah, so after we win!  We CRUSH you!

We crush you like a bug! Like a worm!! We’ll take your daughter AND all your money! And get you put in jail too! Then you’ll have nothing! NOTHING!!

OK. That’s a mean sick side of myself that hopefully we’ll never see again. I’m sorry. This case has really just brought out some nasty thoughts.  I needed to get that out. I did warn you, but seriously…

I really do wonder, how do these freaking people sleep at night?? I mean how in God’s name are they EVER going to be able to explain this to Veronica? Never mind that it’s just so insane to the rest of the world. Never mind that even adoptive parents are horrified by them really taking this just too damn far. Never mind that it really shows exactly what adoption is all too often like.  Where do they get the balls to be this awful and think its all right???

What the Capobianco’s Half a Mil Lawsuit Really Means

According to the Tulsa World, the Capobianco’s filed documents in early September accusing Brown of ‘willful disobedience and complete disregard’ for the law and as compensation are seeking the recovery of all their legal fees and expenses from Brown and the Cherokee nation

“Willful disobedience and complete disregard” for the law? Umm… POT MEET KETTLE!!

Of course, then we have the double speak: Lori Alvino McGill, an attorney for Matt and Melanie Capobianco, says the Capobiancos are “not directly suing Brown”. Of course, Lori McGill is also known for drunk Facebooking in the wee hours of the morning and posting anonymously to blogs that call her out on it! Maybe she wasn’t really drunk and on Facebook; I am just trying to give her an excuse for  the completely unethical and unprofessional behavior by a member of the Bar Association.  Of course, I would like to see her NOT be a practicing member of the bar much longer. The point is; they ALL lie!

The  fines, attorneys’ fees and “expenses” are estimated to total approximately $500k, which is a huge number to most normal folks anyway. The costs outlined in the contempt action include fines of up to $32,000 a day, plus the Capobiancos’ living expenses while in Oklahoma.  The poor man has nothing already. He just lost his daughter and now, they expect to get blood from a stone?? With a “modest income and few assets,” Dusten Brown has little chance of ever paying that kind of bill, if he even SHOULD EVEN HAVE TO!?

But what a wonderful smart bargaining chip the Capobiancos and their legal team have now played.

Dusten Brown has already been a complete thorn in their side with his perseverance and dedication to truly doing what is right, which is raising his own child.  While they might have “won,” it certainly didn’t go their way and  I would bet that despite their manically grinning faces, they are still unsure whether or not Dusten Brown will really ever go away. However, with $500,00k hanging over his head, I would not be at all surprised if they come out and say:

“Oh, we’d be more than HAPPY to drop the lawsuit as long as you promise to drop any other custody actions in terms of trying to get Veronica back”.

Now they might wait until after they are, once again, in court, to say that. Or they might wait until they are behind closed doors at more “mediation.” Oh for sure, they are not going to come right out and say that on the Today Show or Dr. Phil, but the minute that was suggested to me (by the way, it was suggested by the director of an adopting agency!); I knew that was why they issued the lawsuit against Dusten Brown.

The Capobiancos are now trying to buy off Dusten Brown in the tune of half a million dollars.

Why not? They bought out her mother for a new SUV and some bills. They bought out the legal system. They bought out the state of South Carolina. They bought out the Supreme Court of the United States. They bought out public opinion.

Why can’t they just buy out Dusten Brown?

Forget morals. Forget ethics. Forget the good of the child.  Give these god damn people exactly what they want and then please, let’s PRAISE them for it. Seriously? I think I am going to be sick.

Oh, and if you thought for a hot second that they so wanted what was best for Veronica? Then you have GOT to make sure that you read the whole “transition plan” that was cooked up by the Crapobiancos. There were TWO versions.. just so we are all clear about that. Not the one ‘nice’ kind version that “mean old Dusten” wouldn’t go for, but TWO. One was for public and PR consumption, and one, the one they wanted, was based on, well… you know… what THEY WANTED.

So much for that “Open Adoption”

Now we have the news that South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley dropped her request Wednesday for Dusten Brown, so he doesn’t HAVE to go to South Carolina to BE arrested, but he could still face the charge if he returns to South Carolina.  Meaning if he DARES go to VISIT his daughter… he COULD get arrested  and face a charge of custodial interference. You know, because he didn’t HAND OVER Veronica when the Capobiancos wanted him too.

And apparently, the Capobiancos must ALWAYS get what THEY WANT.

Bet there won’t be any visits. Now how exactly is Dusten going to remain in his daughter’s life? Oh right, he isn’t. So about that “open adoption”? Not that it was ever really open to begin with. Christy has seen Veronica all of two times. TWO! And once was because she had to go to South Carolina for court!

Can someone explain to me again how these obviously selfish, spoiled brats of narcissistic land actually managed to pass a home study? Oh wait… right… they had the money to pay for their approval.

Look away, ethics, look away!

 

About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

26 Comments on "Matt and Melanie Capobianco: Lower-Than-The-Lowest Excuse for Human Beings"

  1. Eileen Burke | October 3, 2013 at 1:24 pm |

    Lowest of the low, you ain’t kidding. It is my most sincere hope that Brown and his team are not done fighting for what is right. This entire situation is a travesty. Bottom line, Veronica deserves to raised by her father (and no, I am not talking about Mr. Capobianco). Dusten Brown is ready, willing, and able to raise Veronica. That is all that should matter. The Capobiancos are sociopaths, plain and simple.

  2. Amen. It makes me SO SICK to think about w

  3. Jo Anna Hoffmann | October 3, 2013 at 1:40 pm |

    Someone on another site said it best – this case has surely changed my mind on adoptions – now when I see a child that does not look anything like the parents – I always wonder – how much did they pay or who did they have to destroy to get that child.

  4. Amen. It makes me SO SICK to think about what Veronica’s life is going to be like without her family. And I also think they are trying to keep the charges going to keep Dusten away from his daughter, which is absolutely despicable. They may love her… but they should have loved her enough to do what was in HER best interest and left her at HOME.

  5. Adele Kenney | October 3, 2013 at 1:51 pm |

    Thank you for putting down in black and white the way I feel about the Capobiancos. Pond scum is higher on the evolutionary chain than they are. That Veronica was taken away from a loving family and given to those bloodsuckers is a travesty!

  6. Despicable effing scum backs til the very end. They sicken me so I have to attempt to block the thought of them out. Truly the worst of humanity, these two. I can’t wait until Karma comes a calling…

  7. If I were Dusten Brown I would tell them ….some not very nice words… and that hell will freeze over before I stop fighting for my child. Let them get a judgement if they can (and shame on the demonstrably corrupt courts if they do). You cannot take what someone does not have.

    He does need to go to SC and clear up the bogus felony charges (and if I didn’t get a written statement that the charges were bogus from the commonwealths attorney who pressed them, I would insist on a jury trial that would spread all the Capobiancos dirty deeds out for everyone to see). Those charges not only mean that he could not go see his daughter if pigs start flying and he gets that opportunity, but also that he could not keep his post in the National Guard or travel out of Oklahoma lest a traffic stop ends with him arrested for outstanding felony warrants.

    By the way, did you catch Lawyer McGill’s absolutely vile statement that “anyway forward” would have to include Dusten (and apparently all his supports given the very veiled threats left on the SOGFVB site) “respecting the Matt and Melanie’s role as Veronica’s parents”

  8. “Where do they get the balls to be this awful and think its ok???”
    Because the American adoption industry has brainwashed people into believing that adoptive parents are equal to natural parents. That biology means nothing. That the APs are the ‘real’ parents, even when the child has a perfectly fit biological parent who wants to raise him or her. That there is no difference between being raised in one’s bio-family or in an adoptive home. If you read the comments on a lot of the articles about this case, over 90% of them never even mention what it will be like for Ronnie to be an adoptee in the family vs. being a bio-kid. It’s as if the fact of being adopted has no effect on a child. Ha!

    It’s as if all that matters is what Dusten may or may not have said FOUR YEARS AGO, in the heat of the moment, when he had been dumped by the love of his life, who he thought he was going to marry, and gets no more explanation than ‘You need to find someone else’. Hell, if someone did that to me, I’d go ballistic, too, and probably say things I didn’t mean.

    Actually, I’m going to amend that. I think the adoption industry has gotten the public to believe that adoptive parents are superior to natural parents, and are even better for the child if they have more money and can give the kid a bigger house, more clothes, toys, better vacations, etc.

    It’s a move in a very dangerous direction. There are no words for how much I cannot fathom how anyone can support the Crapos and their immoral, unethical, so-called ‘adoption’.

  9. jamie smith | October 3, 2013 at 2:39 pm |

    Capobianco is her slave name. I wonder if they changed her first name yet?

    • I was wondering where her name came from, actually. Standard practice is for the “birthmother” to name the baby first, then the adopters buy the baby and rename it. So if her name was Veronica when Dusten went to go pick her up, that’s likely the name her buyers gave her. But what else was he going to call her at that point? He hadn’t even been able to pick a name for her. *sigh*

      So yeah… They don’t need to change her first name.

  10. Jo Anna – you are so correct about this case changing minds on adoption. I do not have any direct ties to adoption, other than coming from a state (South Dakota) with a looooooong history of unethical native adoptions. I will never ever consider adoption, even if it turns out I can’t have kids of my own. It’s just not right, under the vast majority of cases.

    I think this case speaks to me so deeply because at every point when a choice needed to be made and faced with doing the right thing or the unethical thing, the unethical choice was made. At.Every.Turn. Secondly, ICWA is in place for a very good reason. I went to school with native kids that were being raised in non-native homes because some ‘social worker’ didn’t bother to understand that a kid doesn’t need a nuclear family to be well loved and cared for, so the family was ripped apart. I couldn’t imagine growing up in a family where I look like no one in my family. I always get oh! you must be a so-and-so even if I have never met this particular person (small towns are like that). It’s really sad that Veronica will not get to grow up with her people. Biology is not insignificant, no matter how much AP’s might want one to believe.

  11. “Lori Alvino McGill, an attorney for Matt and Melanie Capobianco, says the Capobiancos are “not directly suing Brown”. ”

    Well, why on earth would the state of South Carolina be suing DB for the Crapos’ living expenses while in OK? Does that mean that the tax payers of SC are now responsible for those bills? I’d be livid if I lived in the Palmetto State and had to pay taxes for living expenses for a legal battle that this wealthy couple CHOSE to pursue.

  12. I love how you write what I think so I can just read it.

  13. jan stewart | October 3, 2013 at 4:04 pm |

    The whole situation is a WTF? how does this happen?

  14. Great, greater, greatest post ever re the C word (I simply can not bear to type out their name or even abbreviate it for fear their radioactive fallout will poison me.)

  15. Adoptionlies | October 3, 2013 at 4:52 pm |

    If you have never had the pleasure of a narcissistic parent let me give you a snapshot. Veronica will not be loved. She will only be treated with fake love when she is pleasing her adoptive parents. She will be of little use for them when she is not.

    My mother adopted to get a monthly stipend and to be “God” and “Savior”. She loved being special because she adopted and you better believe my adopted siblings have better keep up the gratitude. Speaking of my siblings they have not fared so well. At least I feel some sense of relief that I do not hold “mom” up on a pedestal to me and they can speak freely about how they feel.

    The upside IMHO (because I am an evil bitch when it comes to narcissistic adoptive parents) is that the Cap’s will be miserable. Yes I said that- because there has been so much criticism of them. They insulated themselves with people who told them everything they wanted to hear. Once the dog and pony show is over they will have to go back to real life. And in real life plenty of people think they are scum. This is like a knife in the heart of the narcissist.

    When they are out in a world where they feel criticized they will react even more strongly about Dusten. They will make him the blame of every ego insult they feel, and if that does not sooth their mega egos they will turn on Ronnie. I have seen it before, I know how this ends. With that said they will keep happy faces for appearances, unless they believe the situation a total loss. If that happens we will read about their adoption experience and how everyone did them wrong and they will make this public. The drunk lawyer by that time will be long gone and so will their supporters because they will not want to be associated with “losers” of adoption.

    One more thing- When my relinquished daughter (a minor) found us I really tried to involve her adoptive parents in the reunion. We had a one sided discussion in which Amom screamed about how unfair it was that I was in the picture. I will never forget when I tried to bring it back to “our” daughter’s feelings and she told me “I don’t care how she feels”. Nuff said.

  16. They fight for a child who was never rightfully theirs and now that they’ve successfully made it legal to kidnap her from her dad, they want to be reimbursed for their efforts?

    What did we really expect though?

    The way society is going, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

  17. anonymous 1 | October 4, 2013 at 12:50 pm |

    Thank you. You say publicly what needs to be said. On another note though – I have no legal background. But, I am wondering in light of the statement from a member of the United Nations about this case if another possibility exists for Dusten Brown. I wonder if there is a way his attorney could approach the UN. I know it sounds crazy but it certainly would embarass officials of the US and still bring more attention to the unethical behavior on all involved in this case.

    • I don’t think that sounds crazy at all. Why not try every possible approach to get Ronnie back with her REAL family, where she belongs?

  18. Connie Duncan | October 9, 2013 at 11:03 am |

    Well everyone should be realizing by now why foreign country’s have been putting the brakes on adoptions to the US for a while now. While I’m sure there are SOME cases of international adoptions that save the child from a life as an orphan, I am also sure that there are many cases of children being ripped from poor families because rich US couples buy their children. How would a poverty stricken family in a 3rd world country EVER have the means to find their child again much less visit them? These are some of the reasons people around the world despise Americans. I hate it because people like the Caps don’t really represent the majority of Americans or Christians (we have morals, family values and compassion) but they are now the poster children of a typical American rich couple as presented to the world. What’s next in this country? You don’t get to raise your own children unless your income exceeds 80k? Once again I am ashamed of our court system. And who is “Dr. Phil” anyway? Just a shock jock who has become rich by exploiting people with serious personal problems on national television! No Doctor of any kind in my book and no one with any dignity should allow him to meddle in their personal business!

  19. Crystal Lavattiata | October 10, 2013 at 5:31 pm |

    There are many of us who know people who have adopted children, and are great loving parents. I know tons and tons of birth parents that suck miserably at it. That being said, hearing the whole story, it does not make sense that this little girl doesn’t get to be with her bio/real father. Must be another case of money talks. I have no problem with your outrage, except I did take offense to your “dried up old white infertile asses” comment. People with fertility issues who desperately want children should not be made fun of. Do you know how it feels to not be able to have a child of your own when you are surrounded with people who don’t really care they have children, or to know there are actually people out there who will give their child away? Polarity – there are 2 sides to the coin. Poor Veronica and Justen Brown.

    • I’m not making fun of “people” I am making fun of these TWO particular people. If you are not them, then it has nothing to do with you!

    • I understand why you feel that way about the “dried up old white infertile asses”. Although it’s not directed at all infertiles it can be triggering for those who are infertile. Much of the way referring to a birthmother as a “crackhead” even though not directed at all birth/first mothers can be triggering for them. When I initially read it I had the same thought and thought about responding to it but realized how triggering this case has been for the adoptive community and thought better of it. I took this piece as another one of Claudia’s rants on an extremely emotional subject for her and those in her community rather than an attack on PAPs and APs. I wasn’t offended because I’m not an “dried up old white infertile”. I’m a “young white ass who was never fertile”. 🙂

  20. The Capabiancos deserve the misery that will one day heap upon them for what they have done. There is never ever a place for adoption in these circumstances. A similar case is now happening to Baby Deseray. I wish there was something more that I could do. I am Australian and our adoption system is very different. Every time I read about these adoptions I am angry and sad. This is not right and there really shouldn’t be any money changing hands for adoption. Adoption should only be for children who need families not for people who want a child and can’t have one.

  21. It is honestly cathartic to read what you’ve written here. It is over the top what happened. I was unaware of this aspect of it until today: http://www.cherokeephoenix.org/Article/Index/7774
    The injustice is incredible, unfathomable, and nauseating.

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