Knowledge is Power part I…

So last week I found a huge cache of real reseach studies linked to adoption, moms, grief, etc..and I am able to get my hands on them thought the local hospital medical library They are being kind enough to waive most of the fees..so thank you Mary the Librarian..and funnelling me a few bit by bit. I also have a lovely co-worker who is involved in medical research who will be alos looking up the studies for me..so Thank you KellY!!

I picked up the first batch today from the hospital that all my children, sans Max, were born it..and would like to provide a report.
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My overwhelming feeling while ready this first study is that HERE is where the birth of the Infant Adoption Awarness Program got its footing. Published in Winter 1993 in Adolescence, “Adoption as an Option for Unmarried Pregnant Teens” by Marcia Custer scares me.

Siteing abortion rates for teens at over 40%, it begins with denouncing the positive abilities for a young mom to rear her own young. Attributing such ills as ” reduced educational attainment, underemployment, substance abuse, suboptimal parenting and welfare dependency” to young mothers, increased adoption awareness is seen as needed for “public interest” to “maximize the welfare of the adolescent as well as her child, and to reduce the cost of supporting dependent families”. Since less than 5% of teens who give birth “choose” adoption, “relinquishing the child for adoption is to be considered a positive alternative” to lower the abortion rates.

The whole purpose of the study was to “assist in helping professionals increase the frequency with which they encourage thoughtful consideration of adoption as a result of the greater sensitivity to the meaning and the intrpetation of adoption by their clients” Meaning to me…learn how to put a good spin on the idea so it feels good to the considering mother.

The study group was 21 unmarried white girls and non of them on social assistance..so the nice white middle class teens had their brains picked. Out of that they came up with themes and factors and phenomenas that broke up the feelings of the girls into categories to analysis them. They found that one main theme, and 3 of 24 phenomena “are suggested as pivotal to the willingness of these subjects to consider relinquishment” and that this information could “form the basis of both professional interventions and public policy”.

What was found to be the most overriding of importance was that it “wasn’t OK ( in a social context) to give a baby away”. There was no such underlying social stigma attributed to being a teen mom..and THAT was considered to be an issue! So core to the issue of why moms don’t relinquish was the repeated of the subjects that “the child would suffer, not be loved and therefore hate their birthmother

The other reason why teens don’t relinquish? They feel responsible for their children!! That becoming a mother was the consequence of having sex and they were willing to live with that!

It then goes on to state that as we, society, all have a “low level of adoption knowledge” and that inhibits relinquishment. It is seen as a failure that “professionals” did not “initiate adoption dialogue” and if changed, having adoption thrown in your face dare you be a teen and pregnant, will “ultimately” change ” the overall level of willingness of adolescents to consider relinquishment”

So why again don’t teens want to lose their babies? Because they don’t know how great adoption is, and feel their kids might hate then, and they are responsible,and not one else tells them about it and makes it acceptable…these subjects have a belief that “severe, intolerable and ongoing psychological distress would accompany relinquishment”..and this is the “most powerful immediate barrier to adoption consideration”. Wow..imagine that. These teens are pretty smart, huh?

They “anticipated guilt, wondering, grieving, and the belief that they child would hate them”…

So now they discovered what the barriers are..what do you think they concluded we all should do? They suggested “increasing the general positive image of adoption; increasing the knowledge of adolescents, counselors, and other health professional, as well as the public in general,about adoption;…. modifying adoption policies; …effectiveness of counselling; and providing more incentives for option exploration”.

Sounds like somebody was listening. Just go check out your favorite agencies web site for pregnancy help and see what they say regarding those “mental barriers”.

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On other news…I heard from Max yesterday!!! I was on The Adoption Show and did not sound too much like an idiot, though I will give an award to the person who counts how many times I said “you know”. Garin has his high school orientation tonight! Gulp! I am submitting a piece calling for reform to “Poets and Writers”..cross toes please! And there are 4 boys making very loud music in my basement, but they sound pretty good…

About the Author

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Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.

4 Comments on "Knowledge is Power part I…"

  1. You sounded wonderful on the adoption show.

  2. I thought so too! And I didn’t even notice you said “you know”!

    Of course, I’m known for saying “You know what I mean”

    Trademark phrase.

    You gotta see if people are feeling what your saying, you know what I mean?

  3. That is very interesting information. Know your market and objectives and work around it. HMMM

  4. ((Claud)) I thought you were awesome. And, YEY for hearing from Max! And, the rest of what you wrote, about “throwing their baby away”, that was what I’ve gotten out of the book, “Wake up little suzie” book, that African Americans in the fifties / sixties often said they wouldn’t do adoption because of that reason. And you saying, cause they felt responsible completes what they were saying for me.

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