Finished. caput!
Letter to his parents is off the “to do” list.
No desire to revise, no want to edit. And is only slightly over 4 pages long…lol. I haven’t heard back from Max on the concept of it, which is normal of him…and I will wait for him to respond first, but I did it. It’s just not in the mail yet.
If anyone wants to survey the damage, then drop me a line and I will Email to you. At this point it is what it is and that’s it.
I have thought about writing to L’s parents lots of times but feel so unwelcome and never did. I do think you are most brave Claud. I am going to my sewing machine to make you a cape.
The idea frightens me. I worry what it will cause. Yes, it can be better but it could also get worse and I am a sissy and leave things as the status quo. My child has kept our contact a secret from her parents. I respect her boundaries and just dont go there. However, her amom does know I was looking as she was the one who opened my letter and and kept it from our daughter for a few weeks. I often wonder what she thinks now. Does she even think about me? Care about my feelings? Meh. Whatev.
Oooh, congrats. And yeah, I’m nosy and want to read if you are willing….
Wow Claud. Very brave! I bet it feels healing to get it off your chest. I’d love to read it too.
I know that I am fortunate that my son’s adoptive mom and I do have a good relationship. He said early on that she wanted to write to me. A year and a half later, she had not written, so I did.
It’s different though. Less reason for her to feel threatened -she lives close to where he does – I am a plane ride away. Plus she had gone through her older son’s reunion first.
I don’t need to see your letter. Your feeling satisfied with it is what matters – and you do. Ah, this stuff is all soooo hard!
Nice one, C!
You’re the dove and your letter the olive branch.
I think 4 pages is very moderate 😉
A’s amother wrote a warm and welcoming letter to me, expressing her gratitude for the privilige of being able to raise him. I wrote her too.
She’d had a few months to take it all in, and I’m sure A had, quite rightly, been reassuring. But whatever, She’s a kind and broadminded woman who understands that life isn’t always simple. I like her very much, though I think we’d be unlikely to become close even if we lived near each other (rather than an ocean away. In some ways, though of course I’m not crazy about it myself, the distance isn’t entirely a negative). It’s more a matter of respecting boundaries and not blurring the edges than anything else. Anyway, she’s a fun lady.
But, knowing what I know about how complicated and difficult other people’s situations can be, I count my blessings daily and take *nothing* for granted.
SInce they know..and since they found out in the way I was trying to prevent..I don’t think it can do any more harm. Really, if it does…then they are just not good..and I really do doubt THAT…like 100% completely. I think it is more probable that they are somewhat “old schooled” and that their feelings are rather “typical”…so that I can deal with..I am aware and familier with all that.
Nosey ones…you have huge letters in your boxes..lol.
And I like velvet for a cape please. Maybe black or purple. lined with Faux lepoard print? lol
Oh yes I do want to read too, Im so curious what Max will say. I am a secret at this point so a letter from me is not possible.
Quite agree it can’t do harm. Hopefully it’ll do good. And, like you say, if it pisses them off seriously big-time, at least the cards will be on the table and the situation unambiguous. Like, you’ll know they really aren’t dealable with.
Anyway, fingers crossed for a positive response.
Send it my way as well Claud. I would love to see this, you know how I have been feeling about this subject and I would love some ideas on how to approach this myself.
Mary
Definite olive branch! I think it’s a great letter. And, it is very honest, but also very sensitive.
And, it’s a full explaination and attempt to call a truce. I think it’s great.
On the other hand, I’m not one that really gets adoptive parents.
Claud- I’d be interested in reading youre letter, if you don’t mind sharing with an adoptive mother who admires your attempt to communicate with Max’s adoptive parents. 🙂
well I read it and I think it says about everything, It seems to me that it would either clear the air and you will be able to get on with it or like someone else said, it will show they arent dealable.
Ive seen so much of that, that it wouldnt suprise me, but …. you never know.