Honestly, really.

I think I should get paid off for relinquishing Max to adoption.

The happy fuzzy feelings from relinquishment and my adoption counseling has worn off. It’s been gone for years now. Instead, I think maybe getting at least some cash for the years of pain and suffering won’t do any good in getting back what I lost, but nothing ever will. At least, I could get some new shoes or a new roof or something, right?

“The attorney for the responsible party will likely send you for an independent medical examination to determine if there is anything emotionally wrong that is still causing you to have pain so long after the relinquishment. You will also need to prove how you have suffered. It is up to you to make your case. How has the pain in your soul affected your life? Can you no longer be happy when you used be happy three times a week? Can you smile when oyu see a child, something you have always done? Does someone bring you flowers on birthdays when you cry? Your attorney will communicate all of this information so that a fair assessment of your pain and suffering may be made. If you can prove your claim, then yes, you will be appropriately compensated for your true pain and suffering.”*

So how much money would it take to compensate a woman to place her child for adoption?

I found this: The jury awarded the estate of Evelyn Forman $120,000 for pain and suffering she endured between the time the missile struck the airplane and the time the airplane crashed’ Not for her death, but for her emotional pain and suffering for the perhaps though at least 104 seconds for time actually suffering before she died.

For arguments sake, we will round that up to 2 minutes. We’ll take the 120K and reduce it to 100K for easy math making us a nice round number of 50K per minute of suffering at a legally acceptable rate. I’ll even be so kind as to say: Ok we won’t measure my Kool Aid years, but only count the last 8 when I was mentally transforming to the pain filled bitter birthmother that I am infamously known for today. So that’s 8 years with 365 days each times 24 hours in a day times 60 minutes in an hour times the 50K per minute rate for emotional pain and suffering.

Great! I’ll take my 210,240,000,000 dollars for adoption please.

Unrealistic? Ok we’ll chop that in half for the time spent sleeping bad dreams be damned. I’d still end up a billionaire! Completely ludicrous of an idea? Yes, I would agree, but so is this idea of paying women NOT to have abortions, but to place their children for adoption.

Luckily, over at feministe, it has already gotten ripped apart and if you are very scared of this idea catching on a good reading of the comments allows some trust in the world to be rebalanced.

It also got a good bashing over at Gloria Feldt as well as Possibly the Most Idiotic “Common Ground” Discussion I’ve Ever Heard. Thank God.. and I don’t think these writers are even involved in the adoption arena, they just see logic and understanding and .. oh what’s that word coercion!

Yeah, I will even give in and recognize that the author of the original stupid discussion and bad idea thought it was fraught with some issues.

Like how the hell can they afford to give me all my money!

*Words changed to reflex life as a birthmother