1 week travelling over 2000 miles in the Bastardmobile on 30 hours sleep!

The Adoptee Rights Demonstration is really one of my favorite events of the year and it keeps getting better and better! There is no way I can adequately describe the sum of the experience, but I shall; try.. I shall try!

My Adoptee Rights Demonstration Adventure Begins….

Tuesday July 20th: I leave home in Kingston, NY with my DragonSearch co-workers for NYC where we attend the #140conf Twitter meet-up in NY. Totally work related, but because of the timing, I hurry home at the last minute and add to my suitcase. My travel partners for the Adoptee Rights Protest, Jack and Kristine, really want to get on the road Wednesday night and I don’t have enough time to come home and get back downstate. So, I run home, suitcase trailing behind me, as it will for the next 7 days, add more clothes and my infamous Crackwhore Birthmother T-shirt.. only managing to forget my Mary Gauthier CD’s.. and hit the road by 2:30 pm!

Bastardmobile; New York City to Louisville Kentucky

Wednesday July 21st: After spending the night on the other Wall Street in Manhattan, we attend a very important client meeting in NYC. When that is done by 3, I say good-bye to my colleagues and I am off for the official start of my “vacation” and Bastardpalloza 2010! I take the LI Railroad out from Penn Station to Seaford LI where I met with driver extordinnaire Jack.. the only Irish Jew who is probably a Mormon by birth! Driving off Long Island, we stop in New Jersey to pick up our last passenger, Kristine and travel the evil that will forever be known as “Pennsyltucky”. We drove all night, hit West Virginia by sunrise and onward to Louisville, Kentucky! Considering that I had woken up at 6:22 the day before, I was now up for 28 hours straight!

Securing the Beach…errr.. Louisville, KY

During dinner, we discussed how to get the press interested and decided that as the first ones there we would “secure the beach” and called ourselves the Navy SEALS… I was corrected, however, by Rye, that the MARINES secured the beach.. and so we were the Bastard Marines!) Since, the sign making party was conflicting with the Evan B Donaldson/ Alison Larkin Gala Event at the Brown Theater, we tried to figure out a way to reach out to the organizers there and find a way to tie the two Adoption events together! A hurried Facebook message went out and we crossed our fingers! In any case, we went to bed knowing that we had much work to do the next day!

Meeting the English American and Promoting an Adoption Weekend

Friday July 23rd: The morning began with a battle of the laptop! Hurried downloading on my dinosaur of a laptop. We made up a quick handbill calling for an “Adoptee Rights Weekend in Louisville” and printing the Press Release. Then after a quick trip to Kinko’s, we went back to the Pub ( trip 2) to met with the divine Alison Larkin and Marcie a local mom who was behind the Brown Gala!

By this time other Adoptee Rights bastards were arriving at the hotel, so our numbers grew. We met up with other local moms and adoptees there and Adam Pertman who was fighting a nasty cold. Speaking of the Institute, if you haven’t check out the “For the Records II” please do! Once again, the EBD has giving us a great body of research that supports what we all know! The Policy Brief includes recommendations that :

• Every “closed” state should unseal OBCs for all adult adoptees, retroactively and prospectively.
• States that already provide limited OBC access should revise laws to include all adult adoptees.
• No professional should promise women anonymity from the children they place for adoption.

The Adoptee Rights Protest Sign Making Party

Then back to the hotel for more bastardfest love! People kept on arriving for the sign making party ..and then three of us got all jazzed up for the Brown Event!

After the VIP party there, we hurried back to the sign making party which went on…. and on.. and on..into the wee hours of the night! All I can say is that there is nothing as funny, as hysterical, as heartbreaking, as uplifting as being part of this freaking amazing group of people. Again, another adoption paradox, I hate that adoption is part of my life yet I am so glad that I share this journey with these folks.. old friends and new.. I am honored and thrilled to know such incredible people.

You Got Yours, We Want Ours.. Original Birth Certificates

Besides the 70 -80 or so protesters, Jeff carried on him the names of another 790 adoptees and birthmoms who support Adoptee Rights, but could only be with us in spirit. There is nothing more moving, more empowering, more incredible than being a part of an righteous movement.

The Adoptee Rights Booth at the NCSL Convention

Monday July 25th: Somehow, out of a bag of nasty that I had been dragging around with me for 6 days now, I cleaned up my exhausted self into something professional and presentable to work the booth all afternoon with Paula and other volunteers.

Last year in Philly, working the booth was pretty incredible, this year. OMG it was INSANE! Even before the exhibit hall officially opened we were mobbed! Because we were there for the third consecutive year, we got a better placement. It was a corner booth close to the main aisles and right in the front, plus right by where they gave away mint Julep shots!

Working with Paula was, as always, a thrill. The first four hours it seemed we talked nonstop. Whereas last year we had to get in front of folks as they passed by to get their attention; people kept on coming by, even waiting in turn to speak to us about adoptee rights! They all said the same thing:

• We saw you outside.
• We wondered what the protest was.
• We saw you on TV this morning/ last night.
• We read about this in the paper.
• What’s it about?

Can I say how amazing it is to think that people are actually beginning to care about adoptee rights! My personal highpoints include:

• Speaking to another birthmother who I don’t think has much exposure to other moms: It almost felt like just came “out” to us for the first time just because we were there. It wasn’t really heavy or anything, but I got the sense that probably this might have been one of the few times she has ever spoken to another known birthmother.
• My conversation with Utah Legislator and adoptive parent, Karen Mayne: While she had very strong opinions concerning the negative aspects of reunion, we had a very honest discussion regarding the timing of the OBC sealing and the inability for any “promises of confidentiality” to ever be based on a true event. I have to admit, that she was open to hearing the truth and I felt that maybe she could change her views in regard to new information that contradicted what she believed to be true. I admire that in a person.

The list of contacts, legislators to be sent templates of the Maine Open Access bill, and supporters grew by hundreds. Nothing makes me feel more part of our country than actually working towards making it into the country I believe it can be. Corny, I know, but I can’t help it, it’s true. It’s things like this that give me hope.
After closing up the hall at 5:00, we went back to the hotel for a brief rest before Jack, Kristine, and myself said our sad goodbyes. It was hard to believe that it was over and all we had left in front of us was a long ride home.

Again, we rode though the night. I would return home exactly one week after I left it and running on only 30 hours of sleep for that entire time. There were times on that long ride home where the only thing that kept us awake was the pure laughter; we stopped at rest stops, doubling over in laughter; I know what it means to be high on life. My god, I love a road trip.

As much as I could try to give you a play by play, there is no way to do this experience justice. All I can say is that if you haven’t ever joined forces with a group of virtual strangers in the pure hope of a common goal, then you are missing something in life. And considering adoption is so complex, being with people where they truly understand you and any need for personal editing is rendered null and void is one of the most liberating feeling. My life is so enriched by this incredible group of people. Any bastard, and crackwhores too, have a place at the Adoptee Rights Demonstration and I am so happy to be part of it.

• Sitting with Peach until 5am the night before the protest.. we sat and mused on good times and bad from the beginnings of Adoption Insights on MSN Groups. We talked of people who were gone and missed.. we called out their names into the night. It was so incredible to finally meet my Peach…who along with LittlebitJen and Kali made me see that not regretting Max’s relinquishment could hurt my son. Out of all the people there, Peach knew me the longest and after almost ten years it was a delight to share her company in life.
• On having adoptive parents Andrea, her two kids and her husband join us! Just thank you thank you thank you!~
• Meeting the incredible Priscilla Sharp, a Queen Mother Search Angel if there ever was one. Not only did I have a chance to spend some quality time with her talking, but to my personal delight, returning from the after party, she delighted us by rocking out, walker and all, to the live music on 4th Street. Proud to say that I rocked out with Priscilla Sharp.
• Meeting sweet little Nikki; whom when talking with her realized that she is one of the first children of true Open Adoptions who is come of age and is blogging about her experience. She is slightly younger than Max at 22 and to me, this is huge. I have said for so long that I do think that open adoption is a social experiment and we will not truly know if it is better or not until the adoptees grow up and speak to us. That time has come, my friends, that time has come.
• Rolling into an Ohio Kmart at almost midnight, checking in on Foursquare and finding it to be none other than Miss Jenna’s  personal Kmart! I was so excited I had to call her and leave a voice mail message. Goofy, yes, but I am a big fat nerd.
• Of meeting with the American Adoption Congress Reps, who also had a booth at the Convention, and knowing that our numbers grew even stronger because we worked together.
• Turning on the radio during our long ride back and getting blessed with quite a few Mary Gauthier songs in a row. Serendipity? The Grace of Gods? Who knows, it gives me chills.

• Seeing a HUGE pro adoption billboard which caused Jack to immediately pull over to the side of the e road, then drive backwards down the shoulder, so I could run out and snap a photo! There are too many stories of the actual road trip to tell, but my road companions.. all I can say is that I had the best time ever! We had so much fun and laughed continuously while driving all night…
• Of being told that I truly was a Bastard.. that they would collectively “adopt” me… so I could truly be and adoptee of sorts. I guess that makes Theresa my new momma? Whose my Daddy? ( typo desired for effect..lol)

I know, without a doubt, that we can do this. We can change the face of adoption today. I will see open adoptee access to the original birth certificates in this life time. As God as my witness, I say in my best Scarlett O’Hara voice, we will.