By Mirah Riben Wisconsin adoptive parents and lawmakers are seeking to make Wisconsin more “friendly” toward adopters by increasing pressure for parents considering placing their children for adoption. The Wisconsin Adoption Fairness Act seeks “to bring Wisconsin in line with other states, many of whom don’t require court hearings and allow mothers the option to relinquish rights after 72 hours.” “Allow[s]” or pressures mothers to do so within a narrow…
By Mirah Riben Two years after Reuters’ five-part report on the rehoming of adopted children in the U.S., the U.S. Government Office of Accountability (GOA) has released a report entitled “Steps Have Been Taken to Address Unregulated Custody Transfers of Adopted Children” (GAO-15-733: Published: Sep 16, 2015. Publicly Released: Sep 16, 2015). “GAO examined (1) the reasons adoptive families consider unregulated child custody transfers, and services that exist to support…
By Cassi By this time, it’s very few who haven’t gotten more than their fair share of the pictures that have gone viral. Pictures that show the story of a desperate couple and their desire to adopt a newborn. Pictures that show their joy, their happiness at claiming the child they so desired. Pictures that, conveniently, leave out the mother of this child. The one who went through nine months…
By Mirah Riben Adoptive families have been commemorating the day they acquired their adopted children with an annual celebration since at least 2005 when it was suggested in Margaret Schwartz’s book The Pumpkin Patch. The celebration and its name have been the subject of controversy since its inception. Very recently, adoptive father and poet Patrick Hicks wrote “Gotcha Day is a beginning — this is undeniably true —…
Help Shape OUR Birthmother Presentation; In my head, I am telling the story, presenting facts and research that supports what I am saying, with actual quotes by YOU ALL showing on the screen. I would very much to have some really good images of moms that can help break apart every possible stereotype and open that door to get them thinking more. Even if it turns out that maybe there are only six stories that get highlighted, at least it’s not just mine. So like I always say, your voices will give my presentation WAY more credibility.
I mean thank GOD that I had at least a warning that they were going to be there. Can you image if you didn’t expect your agency and they were in your face! They are just lucky that I HAD mentally prepared or the emotional side of me might have taken hold and I might not have been civil and gracious. In fact, the right thing to do on their part would have been to send me a email or note before hand, explaining that they were going to be there for their CEUs and that IF I was open to it, then they would like to take the opportunity to say hello face to face. At least that would have considered my needs and treated me like a valuable person worth of an opinion and having valid feelings. Instead, I somehow feel again like “just a birthmother” whose feelings come last and just don’t matter. That will not work for me anymore!
By Mirah Riben Rehoming — the practice of giving adopted children away to other families — came to public attention, thanks to the September 2013 five-part exposé by Reuters, followed in December 2014 by a Dan Rather report. More recently, it became public that Arkansas State Representative Justin Harris (R -West Fork) gave his two adopted daughters, 3 and 6, to a man who allegedly sexually abused one of them,…
The three judges, two women, one man, sit behind what looks to be a cherry and oak huge bench. This bench crosses the whole length of the room, separating us and the lawyers, from the judges, from justice. I really just want to cross that divide and just be able to sit with these folks, who I see as just human beings, and tell them what has been going on in this little boy’s life. I want to plead with them to please do the right thing and make this family whole again. But the “process” means briefs and files and wait times and others who posture and dance, more hurry up to deadlines, and then wait wait wait, more wasted time, lost forever, wasted by this unethical adoption agency, in this baby’s life.
By Mirah Riben In a public hearing before the Assembly Institutions, Health and Welfare Committee on Adoption, December 9, 1981, in Trenton, New Jersey, attorney Harold Cassidy made the following impassioned plea: There is a need for us in society to learn to know the women who have come to call themselves ‘birth-mothers.’ They are women who know that a child is part of his mother forever… They know the…
So if out of the 14.1 billion is 100% of the revenue, adoption’s 8.2% equals $1,156,200,000.00 in revenue and out of the $380,900,000.00 in profits, adoption’s 8.2% portion results in $31,233,800.00.
Now this “adoption” category does includes both licensed agencies and unlicensed facilitators that arrange adoptions, but does NOT seem to include the attorneys and legal fees.
So REALLY if we want to sound like we know what we are talking about then Adoption services by agencies and facilitators ALONE are supposed to bring in over 30 MILLION dollars in PROFIT in 2015.
By Mirah Riben Is it shocking that a “social worker will make sure that your entire home is baby-proofed before you bring [an adopted] baby home”? Alison Caporimo thinks so. Caporimo, who is fond of lists and has written them about staying safe while dating online, retro diners, and “17 Badass Ways Women Can Rock a Suit” now brings her Jill-of-all-trades approach to “17 Shocking Things Everyone Should Know About…
When a man fathers a child and chooses, for whatever reason, to ignore the existence of that child, do we respect his wishes overall and grant him his right to his anonymity? No.. so why do mothers receive this “protection” ? Why are we ONLY concerned with the mothers? If this fear was legitimate, then wouldn’t it be fair and expected to extend that concerned to the father’s as well? Should not all people be protected, then, from long lost relatives that might infringe upon their lives and seek out relationships with them?
The simple fact is that these “negative” feelings about adoption DO exist and are VERY REAL. And while I understand that society and the media and the adoption professionals have not prepared you for this, if you are choosing to enter into the world of adoption, you actually don’t get to pick and choose a version of reality that you like best. Again, you can choose not to listen and hear them, but it’s all still here. We are not making this stuff up.
By Mirah Riben In March 2013 Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard issued a national apology for forced adoptions of the 20th century. The apology, which recognized the coercion and exploitation of mothers in order to obtain children to meet a demand for adoption, was viewed by the worldwide adoption community with admiration, appreciation and the hope that it signaled a major step forward against unethical adoption practices. When the apology…
One of the housewives, Lisa Vanderpump, adopted her now 22 years old son, Max, from foster care. And in between some party prep and cat fights, there are two scenes in this episode dealing with Lisa and Max who is “suddenly” interested in doing DNA testing for his genetic heritage.